Tagged: weapon x

X-Men Apocalypse: The Origin of The X-Men’s Famous Hairdos!!

I checked out ‘X-Men: Apocalypse’ today, a movie I was super excited for as I was a huge fan of ‘Days of Future Past’ and the other Singer X-Men movies. I’m sorry to say that for some reason this latest installment is a big bloated mess that sadly misses the mark by a boatload. I loved that the last movie was set in the 1970’s & was so stoked on the idea of this one taking place in the 1980’s. However, aside from some cool vintage wardrobe and a Ms. Pac-man video game there wasn’t much else in this one that for me really brought me back to that great era of the X-Men comic books.

There was simply just too many damn characters running around, the story was missing heart and the special effects were just too much of a cartoony CG mess to convince me that the Earth was in any serious danger. I had high hopes forthe movies antagonist Apocalypse too and didn’t even mind his look, which most people were in a frenzy about from the start. However, Apocalypse as a villain was just way too hokey to be taken seriously and yeah he really did look a bit ridiculous I must admit.  

And Talk about a villain who takes himself way too seriously, jeez, he seemed more like an overdramatic cartoon version of the legendary villain. We’re really not given that much character development here for anyone, everything that happens happens way too coincidentally including the origin of people’s hairstyles! It seems Apocalypse is not only responsible for huge amounts of global chaos but also for Storm’s white hair & ALSO Professor X’s bald ass head!! Continue reading

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The Death of Wolverine #4: Final Verdict!!

Just got done reading the Death of Wolverine #4, the final nail in the coffin for Logan! Now we all know that Wolverine will only be “dead” for maybe a year or two tops. Same cookie cutter superhero death formula as always, a big comic book hubub, news stories, a bunch of comic books that feature the effect of the characters death, funeral issues, blah blah blah..Yeah so Wolverine will be going MIA for a little while and hopefully people will miss him enough that Marvel can then again make some big money on his return as well.

 

So was the death of Wolverine worth all the media hype, shiny metallic variant covers, director’s cuts and a high cover price of five bucks a pop? I’m gonna say a firm no. This series should have been at least 6 issues better yet 8 to really tell a compelling unforgettable Wolverine story with some serious staying power. Aside from a strong first issue, the story in general while playing on nostalgia from Logan’s past felt incredibly rushed with not much real substance and not much new to offer to his complex story.

On a positive note at least it wasn’t Sabretooth who “killed” him, his final nemesis “Cornelius” was at least a surprise and the series art was pretty fantastic. Shocking? Nah…issue number four brought Logan’s legacy full circle back to the Weapon X program where Cornelius  of course was creating super soldiers with adamantium laced bones and of course he needs Wolverine’s healing factor to ensure his test subjects can survive the procedure. Of course when he realizes he no longer possesses it, he’s got little use for Logan and orders a new nemesis Major Sharp to destroy him. Ultimately the ending is in many ways very predictable and I can already see the image of Wolverine literally bursting back into the realm of the living in a year or so.

My final thoughts, I’m glad Wolverine is “dead”. He’s been done to death literally. He’s been around every corner for the last  two plus decades, he’s turned into a bit of softie too. Wolverine is not the mysterious anti-hero we came to fall in love with anymore. I think some time apart is healthy, he’s like a lover who you’ve spent every waking second with for far too long, you need some time to breath dammit! I also really hate these ‘Death’ of events. They’re NOT shocking in the least. If you really wanted to shock us have his death take place unannounced in his main core book! Have all this shit happen but don’t tell us he’s gonna die a year before it happens!! Imagine if Robert Kirkman announced every death in The Walking Dead and made a damn spectacle out of it every time someone kicked the bucket?!  How shocking would that be?!

I also don’t like all these tie in books, I for a second considered buying “The Logan Legacy” #1 today until I saw how terribly drawn and stupid every panel of it all looked. I for one look forward to a good loooong ass break from Logan. When they do bring him back, and they will,I hope Marvel learns from their mistakes. Give him a spot in the X-men(One title), give him one solo book of his own, get his hairy ass out of The Avengers and make him more like the guy who we used to all wanna hang out with! Make him pissed, mean and most of all a loner like he was meant to be. I look forward to the day I miss me some Wolverine!!! ‘Nuff said…..

Deadpool Test Footage: Does it Warrant a Full on Feature Flick?!

We all got to see the leaked footage of the test footage that was made with Ryan Reynolds voicing the character and it seems like it’s generating a lot of hype for a big screen solo adventure! I’m intrigued by this footage, as it came directly off a wretched portrayal of the character from probably the worst superhero flick of recent times, X-Men Origins: Wolverine. But with that said the test footage was actually better than I expected. Fans all over are hoping that this idea will turn into a full fledged “R Rated” feature film, with a ton of gore and the typical Deadpool smart ass humor we all have come to expect from the character. However, today it’s been said that if it happens it WONT be rated R, it will be PG-13. It will generate far more money if they make it more kid friendly, that’s the motivation behind the rating.

So it really seems, with no surprise, that everything in Hollywood is indeed about money. The times are past when Hollywood just wanted to make an amazing movie and take any real risks. Today any superhero flick apparently needs to make an obscene amount of cash for it to be even considered. To me this is sad. I know it’s the world we live in today, but it’s too bad that it all revolves around making a big big buck. A movie like Blade which was rated R was made for 45 Million dollars, it made 131 million worldwide, but today those numbers just aren’t good enough. Today Hollywood is looking for four to five times that, as Iron Man made 582 million buckaroos. There’s a lot of cool movies being passed on these days (Hellboy 3 anyone?) because Hollywood doesn’t think they can make the money. But how much money is enough?!

Well in this case I’m certain that Deadpool will be made, and it just might be a damn good flick. However I miss the days when they might have made an awesome Deadpool flick without trying to market it to thirteen year olds. How many thirteen year olds do you know that read Deadpool anyway? Now let’s move on to the footage we all saw, I think it looked decent but why did we get a CG motion capture version of Deadpool?! This isn’t Roger Rabbit dammit! What’s wrong with having Reynolds in an actual costume? Is that too complex now? Designing an awesome costume that the actor actually has to put on? It seems to me that the whole motion capture thing is getting a bit out of hand, I fear that there will soon be no actual wardrobe or costuming for fantastic characters on the big screen. How about Ultron in the upcoming Avengers “Age of Ultron” did he really need to be motion capture? Have you ever seen C3PO? Or now what about Thanos? They couldn’t transform Brolin into the character with make up? I mean what if  Ron Perlman didn’t get the make up for Hellboy-would he have been as convincing?

Lastly I really do hope we see a good Deadpool movie, I hope it’s wild and funny. That means that we need some good writers who know how to blend comedy with the genre. I’d take Edgar Wright on a project like that. In order to make Deadpool a success they need a lot more than him cracking wise ass jokes that simply aren’t funny. So this will all be interesting to see what comes to be with this one, they are on the right track I think, but they need to go a far distance from the movie he first appeared in to make it everything the fans love about the character…

The Wolverine Sequel: Top 5 Classic Comic Storylines for the Next Movie!

So today we got the news that Hugh Jackman and James Mangold will be back for another solo Wolverine adventure. I say this is good news overall as “The Wolverine” was actually pretty decent until it’s out of place cartoony finale. It was a solid PG-13 attempt at telling a classic yet highly altered Wolverine movie comic book adaptation taken from the legendary Chris Claremont / Frank Miller limited series from 1982. They almost pulled it off too, until in the film’s final act when Mangold suddenly remembered he was making a Hollywood blockbuster and shoved a giant robot version of The Silver Samurai down our throats….uggh…Hollywood can really be the pits sometimes.

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So anyway I’ve put together five classic Wolverine stories from the comic books that should be contenders for the next movie. At this point it’s common knowledge they’ll butcher some part of the story, but hey a guy can dream right? So listen up all you Hollywood numbskulls cause here at Universal Dork you’ll get my guidance toward making a movie that Wolverine flick fans deserve. Before I start the list though let me set up a few rules for the next flick.

First make this damn installment “Rated R”! The fans have spoken, we want some blood and guts in the next film. I wanna see him slice some people’s arms off, cut people in half ect ect. There’s no way a guy with adamantium claws wouldn’t cause a complete bloodbath while in battle. So give us some realism this time. Second let’s keep the story and visuals consistent if it’s gonna be cartoony then keep the whole flick that way, don’t insert some cartoon bullshit into an otherwise serious storyline. Keep with the tone of the movie. Lastly lets keep it character driven, keep it personal and let’s not get too many other characters or mutants in the mix, the last film was good in this way. Wolverine wasn’t saving the world, he was on a personal mission. These stories are where he works best, as a loner, when he’s out in the real world, drinkin’ at the bar and some serious shit goes down. Ok now onto my plot suggestions:

#5. Old Man Logan- This was quite an interesting modern Wolverine storyline and since Jackman is getting a bit older this might be a great one to make into a movie. However there could be some problems as The Hulk and Hawkeye are owned now by Disney. Perhaps they could settle on something that’d make it possible for these characters to cross over? Or Maybe this movie could be filmed in 10 years from now when Jackman is truly age appropriate for the story line. A futuristic Wolverine story with Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye would be pretty awesome and of course seeing Logan take on The Hulk would be quite a treat as well!!

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#4. Kitty Pryde and Wolverine:  Movie based on the 1984 mini-series could be a great sequel to “The Wolverine” as it takes Logan and Kitty Pryde who would of course be played by Ellen Page, who’s already stated she wants to make a solo film of her character from the movies, on an adventure together. So what better way to do this than add Jackman into the mix and kill two birds with one stone? Continue reading

Brian Posehn Couldn’t Even Make Deadpool Funny!

I just got done reading the new Marvel Now! Deadpool issue number one. This issue was co-written by Brian Posehn, a move Marvel has made to truly show you just how “hilarious” Deadpool is as a character. Though the issue was a decent fun read I expected a lot more in the comedy department having Posehn attached to this. The thing is I really do like Deadpool! He’s got cool powers, the Weapon X connection, a rad costume however this guy just isn’t funny. I have never read an issue where Deadpool is actually funny.

More so I would say he’s one of those guys that think’s he’s a genius comic genius when in actuality you just want him to keep his trap shut! I know you know someone like this, they never quit either they just keep cracking “quirky” jokes that no one laughs at with the ferocity of the Energizer Bunny.

So that’s the guy Deadpool is to me. The annoying friend who doesn’t know when to quit. He’s not funny. He’s just irritating. For some reason I don’t think that’s the guy Marvel thinks Deadpool is though. Hell they even got the brilliant Posehn on his side and he still just comes across like a stale donut. Besides that fact that I just had to put out there, the new issue was a fun read overall with nice artwork by Tony Moore. It follows a story of ex Presidents of the USA who are brought back to life as evil zombie versions of themselves, plotting to take over the country. Naturally S.H.I.E.L.D. hires Deadpool to take them down. I will be around for issue number two just for my love of Posehn and Moore, however we’ll see if the laughs improve over time.

I have to ask you all am I crazy? Is Deadpool actually funny? Am I missing something? Is my sense of humor cracked? If he has ever been funny what issues showcase his comedic brilliance?

Jeph Loeb’s Wolverine: Makin’ Shit Up As He Goes!

Is it just me or does it kinda seem like Jeph Loeb’s kinda making shit up as he goes on the current Wolverine storyline? After reading issue number 312 I am almost certain of it! I have a theory on how he wrote this stuff and I think it took him about a total of five minutes, which I will explain, so read on!

Now first let me quickly clarify that I kinda enjoyed his absurd “Death of Sabretooth” story arc that he had crafted years ago. I’ve gotta say it, I think Loeb is a hack storyteller. He’s somehow become extremely popular while single handedly changed Logan’s entire history by introducing Romulus, who’s supposed to be his “ultimate” nemesis. Somehow though I just can’t take Romulus seriously, every time he makes an appearance I kinda wanna just burst out into laughter! It’s odd too because I actually am kind of intrigued with the character primarily because of how stupid he is.

Now we have another red head in Wolvie’s life, Remus, Romulus’ twin sister. She happens to have a big crush on Logan and wants him to kill her brother. Uggh…this is truly Loeb working his “storytelling magic” again.

It been seeming to me that Loeb probably is making this shit up as he goes folks. He’s like “Let’s kill off Sabretooth! It will be super bad ass, we’ll have this bad ass sword that Wolvie needs to kill him, then we’ll have this guy Romulus who doesn’t have anything better to do with his time except orchestrate all the events of Wolverine’s life, I mean it too, he has been like secretly involved for like…ever! Yeah, yeah then we’ll have this feral mutant race, evolved from wolves, yeah, Wolverine, Sabretooth, Wild Child, Romulus hell even Sasquatch is gonna be like having this feral gene in his system, and then, then um…Wolverine kills Sabretooth!!It’s gonna be soooo epic! Oh shit Marvel wants Sabretooth now to not be dead? Shit, hmmm well let’s just say Wolverine actually killed a Sabretooth clone! Yeah that’s it…then we’ll backtrack and say Wolverine suspected that the Sabretooth he beheaded back then smelled like a fake! Then Wolverine will find out that Sabretooth is really alive and that there’s like a hundred Sabretooth clones! Shit yeah!

Yeah then Romulus comes back….and um…hmm…shit he’s got a twin sister!! Yeah!! She’s called..um Remus! She’s a red head too cuz Logan loves red heads! She’s like in love with Wolverine too! Then let’s make Romulus dress up like Wolverine from the Weapon X days and put himself in a glass chamber! Yeaaaah! Yeah and then um…now he’s got real claws, made from like new school adamantium, it’s like stronger than the previously strongest unbreakable metal, it’s like even MORE unbreakable! Yes!!! Then let’s say, um Wolverine was actually the mastermind behind the Weapon X program?! Yes!! Yes!! What’s next? Hmmm…I’ll figure that out next month a few minutes before the issue’s deadline!!” I am pretty sure that’s how this all goes down for Loeb.

Seems like he’s having fun putting an ridiculous spin on Wolverine’s previously rad back story…So you know what? I guess I’ll just roll with his laughable story lines an try to have some fun too. At least it’s humorous, something that Wolverines past should never be. What do you think?

Should the Wolverine Movie Franchise Be Rebooted?!

I have been thinking about this for a while now, do I really want to see another Hugh Jackman Wolverine on the big screen? To be honest I’m not too sure I do anymore. I’m really not very excited about the Spider-man reboot to be honest and I’m quite not sure why? The last Spider-man movie was terrible, in fact I am not sure looking back how much I really like any of them anymore. I guess I just see more of the same for the movie Spider-man and I guess I’ll just have to wait and see the film in order to get excited.

New is it seems that shooting for the Wolverine sequel is set to begin in August in Australia. Hugh Jackman claims it will be better than the first film. Hmmm…well it really won’t take much to be better than that and hearing him say that isn’t exactly building the hype machine for the flick. Personally I think it may be time for someone new to take over the character. Start fresh. I’m having a tough time erasing the last two films he portrayed our favorite berserker in, they plague my mind often and when I think about them they often put me into a state of rabid dork rage!

Now first I must clarify I really do love Jackman as Wolverine. When I first saw him as the character it gave me the chills! Aside from being too tall, he was the perfect man for the job. Unfortunately when Singer left the X-Men to make a very bland Superman flick things took a serious turn into Shit-Sandwich-ville. By the time we reached X-men Origins: Wolverine we were sinking into a swamp of turds with no redemption anywhere in sight! To me I just CAN’T sit through another shitty Wolverine movie. Since I was young I always dreamed of a solo Wolverine movie and look what I got after all the years of waiting. It’s just not fair to Wolverine that Batman got Christopher Nolan. So now here we are another Wolvie movie in the works. I personally hope it falls through again. I then hope Marvel reboots the shit out of it!

It’s time to move on. Jackman was great but we just can’t erase the past here people. It’s like a girlfriend or Boyfriend who cheats on you, sometimes it just can’t ever be the same! That’s how I feel. My advice is start fresh. Don’t put him in any of the X-men films for a while. Start Solo. Get a great director who understands and loves the character. Let’s get gritty. This time let’s see what it really looks like when a mutant with Adamantium blades gets pissed off. Let’s see Wolverine slice and dice like he does in the comics. No more PG-13. It’s time for an R-rated Wolverine movie. Start the film off when he’s found in Canada by James & Heather Hudson just after the Weapon X experimentation or like the upcoming movie in Japan only based on the Frank Miller / Claremont mini series of the eighties.

Now with that out of the way there’s just one big problem, who could possibly play Wolverine this time around? How do you all feel about Jackman as Wolverine again? Are you excited?