Is it just me or does it kinda seem like Jeph Loeb’s kinda making shit up as he goes on the current Wolverine storyline? After reading issue number 312 I am almost certain of it! I have a theory on how he wrote this stuff and I think it took him about a total of five minutes, which I will explain, so read on!
Now first let me quickly clarify that I kinda enjoyed his absurd “Death of Sabretooth” story arc that he had crafted years ago. I’ve gotta say it, I think Loeb is a hack storyteller. He’s somehow become extremely popular while single handedly changed Logan’s entire history by introducing Romulus, who’s supposed to be his “ultimate” nemesis. Somehow though I just can’t take Romulus seriously, every time he makes an appearance I kinda wanna just burst out into laughter! It’s odd too because I actually am kind of intrigued with the character primarily because of how stupid he is.
Now we have another red head in Wolvie’s life, Remus, Romulus’ twin sister. She happens to have a big crush on Logan and wants him to kill her brother. Uggh…this is truly Loeb working his “storytelling magic” again.
It been seeming to me that Loeb probably is making this shit up as he goes folks. He’s like “Let’s kill off Sabretooth! It will be super bad ass, we’ll have this bad ass sword that Wolvie needs to kill him, then we’ll have this guy Romulus who doesn’t have anything better to do with his time except orchestrate all the events of Wolverine’s life, I mean it too, he has been like secretly involved for like…ever! Yeah, yeah then we’ll have this feral mutant race, evolved from wolves, yeah, Wolverine, Sabretooth, Wild Child, Romulus hell even Sasquatch is gonna be like having this feral gene in his system, and then, then um…Wolverine kills Sabretooth!!It’s gonna be soooo epic! Oh shit Marvel wants Sabretooth now to not be dead? Shit, hmmm well let’s just say Wolverine actually killed a Sabretooth clone! Yeah that’s it…then we’ll backtrack and say Wolverine suspected that the Sabretooth he beheaded back then smelled like a fake! Then Wolverine will find out that Sabretooth is really alive and that there’s like a hundred Sabretooth clones! Shit yeah!
Yeah then Romulus comes back….and um…hmm…shit he’s got a twin sister!! Yeah!! She’s called..um Remus! She’s a red head too cuz Logan loves red heads! She’s like in love with Wolverine too! Then let’s make Romulus dress up like Wolverine from the Weapon X days and put himself in a glass chamber! Yeaaaah! Yeah and then um…now he’s got real claws, made from like new school adamantium, it’s like stronger than the previously strongest unbreakable metal, it’s like even MORE unbreakable! Yes!!! Then let’s say, um Wolverine was actually the mastermind behind the Weapon X program?! Yes!! Yes!! What’s next? Hmmm…I’ll figure that out next month a few minutes before the issue’s deadline!!” I am pretty sure that’s how this all goes down for Loeb.
Seems like he’s having fun putting an ridiculous spin on Wolverine’s previously rad back story…So you know what? I guess I’ll just roll with his laughable story lines an try to have some fun too. At least it’s humorous, something that Wolverines past should never be. What do you think?
I love to see new villains created for comic books today, but I won’t lie here. I really like it when some weird ass old D-lister from who knows when re-emerges onto the scene with a vengance into a current title. It always brings a smile to my face and sometimes the villain hits the big time graduating to the B-list or sometimes even the A-list level. So I began to think about a handful of villains from the yesteryears of my youth and decided that these guys need another chance to shine. Now I am not one hundred percent positive that all these guys haven’t made a more recent appearance, as I obviously can’t afford to read every title out there (Hint! Hint! Any of you comic companies want to send me promo comics for review?!!) but I am pretty damn sure this first group of villains have been pretty silent for quite some time so here are the first five that came to mind!
1. Shadow Stalker
This master assassin is probably my favorite on this list. He’s a super old school villain from “The Master of Kung Fu” series back in the 1970’s. He often time battled Shang-Chi and was one of his major enemies way back when. He’s definitely a weird ass character, which is probably why I like the dude so damn much! There’s really not much known about this guy, he hides in shadows with his yellow skin and kicks major ass with his morning star-hair.
A previous Shang-chi villain, Razorfist, who is from around that same era is now a pretty popular nemesis to Wolverine. Razorfist was also a fave of mine, so how about sending Shadow Stalker after Wolverine next time he travels to Madripoor? I’d pay to see that!
2. The Missing Link
This largely forgotten villain of The Incredible Hulk need to get back onto the smashing circuit again and knock some sense back into him! This guy was once a “neanderthaloid” from long ago who survived in a pocket beneath the earth by some unknown means. During atomic testing in China the pocket he survived in was ruptured and he was affected by the bombing, later returning to the surface as a radioactive monster! There he was handed over to the Russians who launched him into the New York Harbor where he raised hell.
This was the beginning of his battling the Hulk where he for a short time established himself as a major adversary. But where has The Missing Link been lately? I say it’s time for this guy to come back as a major contender and start some serious meddling in the affairs of Banner & The Incredible HULK!
3. Hammer & Anvil
These guys were pretty cool I always thought at least, however when villains in the 1980’s were killed by Scourge it wasn’t exactly a good sign of their popularity! Their story is also pretty unique “Leroy “Hammer” Jackson was an African-American prisoner said to hate everyone and everything. As part of a chain gang, he was chained to a white racist named Johnny Anvil. The pair’s hatred of prison, however, was stronger than their hate for each other and they succeeded in escaping the chain gang while still chained together. Hammer stole a .38 handgun from a guard, and when the two encountered an alien who had crashed on Earth, Hammer tried to kill it but accidentally wound up saving the creature’s life instead; it fed on metal, and used the bullets fired at it to regenerate. The alien wanted to thank them, and replaced the chain linking them with a device that granted them superhuman powers. The two returned to prison seeking revenge, but wound up battling the Hulk instead.”
Yeah that’s what their Wiki page had to say do you really need any other reason to see these guys back in action? I didn’t think so! I think The Wrecking Crew needs to have these guys join their gang-how cool would that be? Granted they’d need a good makeover most likely but power them up and and have them raise some havoc again!
Yes Wyre is a D-lister from 1992 with an B-List background. He’s not very well known from his appearances in The Alpha Flight where his main nemesis was Wild Child, who at the time was a bit of a D-lister himself before he more recently graduated as a major villain of Wolverine. The Canadian mutant Wyre, much like Wolverine is a bit more of an anti hero, and actually has tangled with Logan before. He appeared back in 1992 and has genetically modified wires that can stretch from his body which he controls with his mind as well as a similar healing factor. His main mission was to take down members of a feral group of assassin called the Breed who were created from his DNA and quite possibly his hairy ass chest!
I think Wyre needs a good makeover obviously but given his background he could prove to be a major player in Wolverine’s world perhaps even resurfacing with information or a death wish again for Wild Child and Roumulus?
This guy should be back causing serious trouble for the Hulk! He first appeared in the The Incredible Hulk #334 back in the eighties and later in issue #342 he kills himself. As far as I know that’s the last we have seen of the psychotic gamma zombie. Half-life was pretty awesome actually aside from being really creepy looking he’d start out looking like a green zombie with a sylish 80’s hair-do and absorbing life from living creatures to become more “normal” looking.
When the Leader employed him to take down The Hulk he drained him so badly that ol’ jade jaws was not much more than a walking pile of skin and bones. I see no reason why Half-Life can’t come back, perhaps revived by The Leader? He’s a great classic Hulk villain that needs to step back into the spotlight-zombies are all the rage right now and a gamma powered zombie is ten times as awesome!
It’s been a long road to for Wolverine to finally meet his mega arch nemesis “Romulus” in the flesh but today in Wolverine : Origins #39 it finally happens at least on the last full page of the comic. Yes we finally see Romulus in the flesh! He, well, looks kinda like what should be either Wolverine’s older brother or father mixed with the ultra old rat “Nicodemus” from The Secret of Nimh. He’s about twice Wolverine’s size and has four, most likely adamantium claws.
So was it worth the wait? Continue reading
Well this June marks Logan’s departure from his own title! Yeah as you may already have heard the Wolverine title we all know and love is becoming “Dark Wolverine” at issue #75. This title is going to follow the exploits of his asinine son Daken as he impersonates his father donning his brown and tan costume. Well at least someone is going to wear that thing! “Dark Wolverine” will follow his solo adventures he embarks on when he’s not hobnobbin’ around with the Norman “Green Goblin” Osborn’s Avengers.
Daken takes over the Wolverine title as it’s main character in issue #75.