Tagged: cloak

Jeph Loeb’s Wolverine: Makin’ Shit Up As He Goes!

Is it just me or does it kinda seem like Jeph Loeb’s kinda making shit up as he goes on the current Wolverine storyline? After reading issue number 312 I am almost certain of it! I have a theory on how he wrote this stuff and I think it took him about a total of five minutes, which I will explain, so read on!

Now first let me quickly clarify that I kinda enjoyed his absurd “Death of Sabretooth” story arc that he had crafted years ago. I’ve gotta say it, I think Loeb is a hack storyteller. He’s somehow become extremely popular while single handedly changed Logan’s entire history by introducing Romulus, who’s supposed to be his “ultimate” nemesis. Somehow though I just can’t take Romulus seriously, every time he makes an appearance I kinda wanna just burst out into laughter! It’s odd too because I actually am kind of intrigued with the character primarily because of how stupid he is.

Now we have another red head in Wolvie’s life, Remus, Romulus’ twin sister. She happens to have a big crush on Logan and wants him to kill her brother. Uggh…this is truly Loeb working his “storytelling magic” again.

It been seeming to me that Loeb probably is making this shit up as he goes folks. He’s like “Let’s kill off Sabretooth! It will be super bad ass, we’ll have this bad ass sword that Wolvie needs to kill him, then we’ll have this guy Romulus who doesn’t have anything better to do with his time except orchestrate all the events of Wolverine’s life, I mean it too, he has been like secretly involved for like…ever! Yeah, yeah then we’ll have this feral mutant race, evolved from wolves, yeah, Wolverine, Sabretooth, Wild Child, Romulus hell even Sasquatch is gonna be like having this feral gene in his system, and then, then um…Wolverine kills Sabretooth!!It’s gonna be soooo epic! Oh shit Marvel wants Sabretooth now to not be dead? Shit, hmmm well let’s just say Wolverine actually killed a Sabretooth clone! Yeah that’s it…then we’ll backtrack and say Wolverine suspected that the Sabretooth he beheaded back then smelled like a fake! Then Wolverine will find out that Sabretooth is really alive and that there’s like a hundred Sabretooth clones! Shit yeah!

Yeah then Romulus comes back….and um…hmm…shit he’s got a twin sister!! Yeah!! She’s called..um Remus! She’s a red head too cuz Logan loves red heads! She’s like in love with Wolverine too! Then let’s make Romulus dress up like Wolverine from the Weapon X days and put himself in a glass chamber! Yeaaaah! Yeah and then um…now he’s got real claws, made from like new school adamantium, it’s like stronger than the previously strongest unbreakable metal, it’s like even MORE unbreakable! Yes!!! Then let’s say, um Wolverine was actually the mastermind behind the Weapon X program?! Yes!! Yes!! What’s next? Hmmm…I’ll figure that out next month a few minutes before the issue’s deadline!!” I am pretty sure that’s how this all goes down for Loeb.

Seems like he’s having fun putting an ridiculous spin on Wolverine’s previously rad back story…So you know what? I guess I’ll just roll with his laughable story lines an try to have some fun too. At least it’s humorous, something that Wolverines past should never be. What do you think?