I’ve watched three of the Disney Plus Marvel ‘What If?’ episodes and so far I’m not particularly excited by any of them. I’m not feeling the CGI “hand drawn” animation and I’m not so far thinking these “What If” questions are as fun as they out to be. I understand that they’re working within the confines of the MCU movies, but still even, I think there are more interesting stories to tell. I’m guessing they’re really trying more so to establish an alternate timeline rather than tell outrageously kick ass stories. Well I whipped up 5 cool classic ‘What If?’ covers with questions I think are pretty bad ass and more along the lines of things I’d been hoping for in the series! Check this shit out!!
This week’s comic book cover hits home here as the planet faces the Coronavirus head on. Well back in 1981 The Thing was affected heavily by a deadly one himself called “Virus X”!! Created by the evil giant headed mastermind MODOK it was designed to be hyper-contagious and deadly to the population.
Virus X was so damn deadly, in Marvel Two-in-One #82 the story’s called “The Fatal Effects of Virus X!” MODOK first tested it on group of homeless people he snatched from the streets, and soon set his sights on The Thing to see exactly what it’s effects would be on a superhuman being. As if the Thing hadn’t been through enough already dealing with his monstrous appearance MODOK’S virus mutated him even further! The Thing almost loses his life but luckily his friends Goliath & Captain America are there to give him comfort and kick MODOK’s tiny little ass located on the back of his head!!
Over the years we all have enjoyed and sometimes hated the giant “epic” multi title crossovers and mini-series that are so damn popular these days. However some of my personal favorite comic book stories are short and sweet. They often times have nothing to do with the major story arc you’re currently reading in that title and especially back in the 70’s & 80’s these self contained stories that had a beginning and end to them all in one book were sometimes more heavy hitting than any crossover could ever be. So I’ll be showcasing some of my favorites and the first one that came to mind might be my favorite of them all.
Flash back to 1986 when X-Men #205 hit the shelves. This issue is easily one of the best Wolverine stories of all time, and it’s all in just one issue. A brilliant epic crafted by Chris Claremont and Barry Windsor Smith remains one of the darkest and most brutal issues of X-men to date. Let me clarify that this was during a time when Wolverine was rarely seen in solo adventures and the character was still deeply mysterious.
The story was called “Wounded Wolf” and featured Lady Deathstrike’s first appearance as a super freaky ass cyborg as well as her three Reaver mercenary minions. It also featured Katie Powers from the mutant kid team ‘Power Pack’ who during a snow storm encounters Wolverine who’s beaten to a pulp, covered in blood and nearly naked. Soon the two of them are both on the run from Lady Deathstrike and her cyborgs who’re out for bloody revenge. It reminds of a Wolverine movie storyboard Ridley Scott might have anticipated directing in the 80’s. Continue reading
I can’t begin to tell you just how much I love this particular comic book cover and how much as a child I loved this particular issue of ‘What If?’!! It really make sense as we get one of the greatest comic book artists ever responsible for this masterpiece, Bill Sienkiewicz doing an unforgettable rendition of the jade giant on issue #45. ‘What If?’ was an incredibly fun comic book back in the classic Marvel days and this issue from 1984 was one as a kid I carried with me everywhere. This one retells the classic origin story but in this reality Banner fails to save Rick Jones from the gamma blast and while Rick doesn’t die the Army ends up killing him-Sending the Hulk into a crazy rage. The Hulk freaks out and takes down the Fantastic Four and Iron Man killing several them in the process. It’s a great, surprisingly violent issue and in the end The Hulk’s rage costs him his own life. Anyway this cover will always remain one of my faves, Sienkiewicz never fails when doing comic book covers, with the pencil and ink in his hands you always knew you were going to get something truly special!
So today we got the news that Hugh Jackman and James Mangold will be back for another solo Wolverine adventure. I say this is good news overall as “The Wolverine” was actually pretty decent until it’s out of place cartoony finale. It was a solid PG-13 attempt at telling a classic yet highly altered Wolverine movie comic book adaptation taken from the legendary Chris Claremont / Frank Miller limited series from 1982. They almost pulled it off too, until in the film’s final act when Mangold suddenly remembered he was making a Hollywood blockbuster and shoved a giant robot version of The Silver Samurai down our throats….uggh…Hollywood can really be the pits sometimes.
So anyway I’ve put together five classic Wolverine stories from the comic books that should be contenders for the next movie. At this point it’s common knowledge they’ll butcher some part of the story, but hey a guy can dream right? So listen up all you Hollywood numbskulls cause here at Universal Dork you’ll get my guidance toward making a movie that Wolverine flick fans deserve. Before I start the list though let me set up a few rules for the next flick.
First make this damn installment “Rated R”! The fans have spoken, we want some blood and guts in the next film. I wanna see him slice some people’s arms off, cut people in half ect ect. There’s no way a guy with adamantium claws wouldn’t cause a complete bloodbath while in battle. So give us some realism this time. Second let’s keep the story and visuals consistent if it’s gonna be cartoony then keep the whole flick that way, don’t insert some cartoon bullshit into an otherwise serious storyline. Keep with the tone of the movie. Lastly lets keep it character driven, keep it personal and let’s not get too many other characters or mutants in the mix, the last film was good in this way. Wolverine wasn’t saving the world, he was on a personal mission. These stories are where he works best, as a loner, when he’s out in the real world, drinkin’ at the bar and some serious shit goes down. Ok now onto my plot suggestions:
#5. Old Man Logan- This was quite an interesting modern Wolverine storyline and since Jackman is getting a bit older this might be a great one to make into a movie. However there could be some problems as The Hulk and Hawkeye are owned now by Disney. Perhaps they could settle on something that’d make it possible for these characters to cross over? Or Maybe this movie could be filmed in 10 years from now when Jackman is truly age appropriate for the story line. A futuristic Wolverine story with Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye would be pretty awesome and of course seeing Logan take on The Hulk would be quite a treat as well!!
#4. Kitty Pryde and Wolverine: Movie based on the 1984 mini-series could be a great sequel to “The Wolverine” as it takes Logan and Kitty Pryde who would of course be played by Ellen Page, who’s already stated she wants to make a solo film of her character from the movies, on an adventure together. So what better way to do this than add Jackman into the mix and kill two birds with one stone? Continue reading