Category: Sci Fi

SUBURBAN COMMANDO (1991) is the GREATEST Hulk Hogan Film EVER?!

Greetings to all you lilted Hulkamaniacs!! We’ve got a brand new episode of Universal Dork on YouTube up now & today we’re covering 1991 Sci-Fi action comedy family friendly-ish cult classic starring Hulk Hogan, Christopher Lloyd, The Undertaker and Shelley Duvall: muthafukin’ SUBURBAN COMMANDO!!!

We just knew  that you didn’t get enough of Hulk Hogan’s sexy-ass bod with the last episode of NO HOLDS BARRED (1989) so we decided to go even deeper into Hogan’s Movie career with this awesome under appreciated buddy comedy. You get some slapstick comedy, some intergalactic space battles, mime abuse, a pretty rad looking alien monster for Hogan to fight as well as a debatable brawl with The Undertaker and so much more! Check it out right HERE:

Movie Melt Podcast: 1994’s Ridiculous Sexy Sea Monster Monster Flick-CREATURES FROM THE ABYSS!

Hey are you a fan of bizarre Italian movies filmed in Florida? How about 90’s creature features where sex crazed fish monsters chase a bunch of moronic party animals around a yacht lost at sea? Well on the latest episode of the MOVIE MELT Podcast we cover a ridiculous monster movie made the insanely genius mind of Alvaro Passeri, a practical effects wizard who also crafted the incredibly weird Christmas fantasy ‘Fantastic Games’ that I reviewed right here.

Well this one has been a fave of mine actually since the red envelope dvd days of Netflix, Creatures From The Abyss AKA Plankton is a totally bonkers flick with some of the most jaw dropping character dialogue you’re likely to see from that era anytime soon. It’s also got some crazy ass monster action and totally disgusting practical fx sequences that make this a stand out sci-fi creature feature.

So there’s tons more in this episode we discuss-lots a cool movies you just got to be checking out, especially if you’re a fan of weird stuff like the movie do a deep dive on! So check out the latest episode for a wild voyage out at sea with a crew of the biggest morons to hit the silver screen in Creatures From The Abyss! HERE IS THE EPISODE!

EXCLUSIVE Interview: The Green Movie Lamp Conspiracy…..Uncovered?!!

We covered some of the wild conspiracy theories that have weaved their way online about the emerald green lamp in Hollywood productions. There’s been an outpouring of interest and questions about exactly what these objects mean in cinema, where they came from & why their seemingly everywhere even still today in movies and major streaming shows!

Well we have the proprietor of “The Green Lamp Conspiracy” instagram page on for a rare and exclusive interview into what he believes is the bizarre origin of an alien conspiracy in Hollywood dating back to the late 1800’s. Check out some of the bizarre theories brought to the table by “Mr. Green” and decide for yourself!

THE PRIMEVILS: Charles Band REVIVES the Lost 90’s Stop-Motion Creature Feature!

I’ve been thinking lately about the way movies used to be made, full of cool special fx that weren’t an obscene bloated smorgasbord of shiny mind numbing digital fluff. I miss me some hands on practical work like stop motion animation and God dammit I think Charles Band (Full Moon/Empire) is reviving that genre of movie making with the upcoming release of THE PRIMEVILS!! Check out the magic on screen here in this latest trailer:

Newly revived from a project that’s apparently had its roots in the late 1970s but officially beginning production back in 1994, it was sadly left incomplete after director and fx wizard David Allen became ill and passed away in 1999. 

Allen was a connoisseur and master of stop motion and practical effects, working on many projects in the Charles Band Full Moon/Empire Films universe. Apparently serious work was picked back up in 2018 by one of Allen’s protégés Chris Endicott and the movie has now been completed, finishing the storyline and adding new effects to complete the original footage to make a cohesive film that honors the vision of Allen’s original idea. The stop-motion fx work here is beautiful and this whole project looks to really be something truly special at least so far visually.

I wasn’t sure what to make of this trailer (except that it looked fucking rad) when I saw it for the first time a few days ago. I actually wondered if maybe someone had really brought back to this modern world of bloated digital effects a totally brand new movie packed with new old school stop-motion animation.  I guess that essentially what its is, but even better yet we get a glimpse back to a lost 90s movie and something that looks like a breath of fresh air in 2024. I had to mention this incredible looking movie here and I just can’t wait to see it on the big screen hopefully sometime in 2024. Fingers crossed this one is as fun and fresh as the trailer makes it look! Here’s another cool clip:

1993’s Kamen Rider Zo: Kicks MAJOR Monster Butt!!

If you’re like me and are totally obsessed with monsters then I’ve  got a great recommendation for you! 1993’s ‘KAMEN RIDER ZO’  Is a short & sweet, bizarre little super hero adventure that packs a monstrous punch to the gut. Clocking in at around 50 minutes, it wastes no time getting to the action and wild special effects sequences that are jam-packed into this little nasty nugget.

I must admit, I’m a bit of a newbie to this character and the fairly extensive lore behind him. Kamen Rider (aka Masked Rider) was established in the early 1970s and has several different iterations through the years. One thing is certain the character is an iconic Japanese superhero and his costume is obviously top notch-This 1993 film too is the perfect intro to the character and so up my alley with all of the crazy monster villains. A bit for me like ‘Guyver 2’ if it had all the clunky exposition trimmed.

That all being said, I’d heard that this was a great place to start and maybe one of the most inventive visually, as well as over the top, action-packed and violent than any of the other installments. Naturally I was thrilled to find out that the director Keita Amemiya is the same person who did one of my all time favorite Japanese action monster movies: ‘Zeiram’ from 1991 and another fave being 1988’s Cyber Ninja.

Also the effects artist being responsible for the totally bonkers fx of another absolute Hong Kong favorite gem of mine ‘The Peacock King’. With this fast paced little adventure you’re going to get all the frenetic action sequences and all of the cool practical fx mayhem jammed packed into “Terminator” style chase film. A group of creatures are hunting down a little boy and it’s up to Kamen Rider to stop them.

That’s all you really need to know, as the version I watched had pretty subpar subtitles & was a bit difficult to follow plot wise to say the least-but who cares! The flick, which was originally planned as a feature film was massively cut down from it’s original vision. That being said it’s almost ALL eye candy and for me it made the perfect warm up for my movie nite where the main even was the glorious 1995 film ‘Godzilla vs. Destroyah’. More on that first watch for me later.

It features some impressive monsters for tour badass grasshopper themed hero to pummel on, one being a sort of “predator” style creature as well as a totally bonkers spider/human hybrid freak with some dazzling stop-motion & also a grotesque bat-man who takes flight to cause everyone major headaches. It’s drenched in style and oozing with great atmosphere as well as a genuine cyberpunk style with dashes of straight up horror.

The fight scenes are quite cleverly choreographed too and the action sequences filled with fine detail are a marvel to behold. The sets and locations aren’t skimped on either, it’s all so colorful to soak in & the kind of film that when it ends you might feel a bit cheated (in a good way mind you) by its swift runtime and craving more monstrous mayhem in its wake.

Bear in mind too, ‘Kamen Rider: Zo’ is not really a kids film either-though there’s not a ton of “human blood” there’s a good amount of goopy monster carnage to relish in. Oh yeah and Kamen Rider cruises around on a rad motorcycle too, usually before he’s ready to beat on some creeps and the main character who plays the masked rider’s alter ego is quite the well dressed hunk!

I give high praises to this largely forgotten little film that probably should have a proper release here in the USA, I got a sweet dvd copy from Taiwan on eBay but you can also check it out on Youtube:

 

Movie Review: J.R. Bookwalter Returns with Gooey Horror Social Satire ‘SIDE EFFECTS MAY VARY’!

Lately I’ve been checking out a bunch of J.R. Bookwalter’s movies that I somehow missed out on over the years, films like ‘Ozone‘ and ‘Robot Ninja” (which I can’t wait to review) as well as recently hooking myself up for a rewatch with the blue ray of his bonafide cult jam- ‘The Dead Next Door‘!  But most interesting is that he’s just released a brand new film after a 20 plus year hiatus. His latest ‘Side Effects May Vary‘ is currently on tour. Yes the director himself has gone on the road to exclusively show this bizarre new film in select indie theaters only, well before it streams anywhere or has any other physical release other than an exclusive VHS (I need one of these!).

However I was able to check this nasty little nugget out early and soak up all the gory goo drenched shenanigans that ensue in this weird little adventure. Basically what we’ve got here going on is a fairly simple story, flashback a couple of years to the height of the latest pandemic when everyone was getting the covid vaccine like it’s a god damn McDonald’s hamburger! We have our main character a mild-mannered middle-aged man named GLENN ROLLINS (um yeah I love that obviously) who just doesn’t wanna get the jab despite pressure from his wife as well as currently being sick as a dog at home. Meanwhile we get a glimpse into what’s going on with the newest safest, state of the art Covid-19 vaccine that’s getting ready to hit the market. It’s set to safely treat the entire population of the planet. So deep inside a secret pharmaceutical research center that’s tucked away in the countryside, we witness a test subject get injected with an unknown substance that immediately causes some, shall we say, interesting reactions to say the least. It seems this new vax does indeed have some intriguing side effects and our main dude Glenn finally gives in to the mounting pressure. Essentially to satisfy his wife by “doing the right thing”, he reluctantly agrees to the latest, safest and MOST utterly effective, state of the art, yet totally experimental covid vaccine at a doctors appointment. This thing is supposedly gonna save the world from the sickness- so what’s the goddamn fuss about already – right?


Initially the thing makes him feel like a million bucks, but soon his normal boring life begins to drastically change – first off his wife immediately finds him more attractive (woohoo!) and feels the urge to get frisky with her hubby. There’s surprisingly plenty of gratuitous nudity here in Bookwalter’s latest (remember what that was back in the 1980s?!) to behold and that’s the first sign that I was seeing something that felt ripped from the “golden era of horror” but also cleverly grounded in modern times. Yeah, let’s be honest here you just don’t really see good nudity like this anymore in current films. There I said it! It was kind of a breath of fresh air as an avid 80s horror fanatic, especially seeing Brinke Stevens playing the nosey neighbor next door watching some genuinely shocking events go down eagerly with her binoculars. Yeah the scream queen who’d spent plenty of time in her “birthday suit” was now on the opposite end of the spectrum in a completely charming little role in this film.

Including her here was a treat  – 1988’s ‘Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama’ is a fave of mine & that reminds me I NEED to see the sequel! Ok though, from this point on things do get pretty perverse, but in that old school low budget, practical effects heavy way that I’ve really missed so damn much over the years. It’s really all quite charming. Not just all the fx work on display-but the general vibe of it. This one might even make a good double feature with something like ‘Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama’. It has that same sort of playfulness and disgusting charm.

Ok, well sadly for Glenn, he does develop a few “side effects” that sort of put the kibosh on his passionate sexy time session, at least for the moment. Confused and most likely humiliated by his sexual performance or lack there of, he races out into the city while his side effects do indeed “vary” in to the next level. This leaves him to encounter a zany cast of colorful characters along the way. He’s also develops a new hobby: SPOILERS: killing people! It’s quite obvious this safe and effective vaccine might’ve caused him a few more problems than the initial covid infection-but hey at least he’s not worried about relapsing with latest current strain I suppose?

Luckily the cops are on the case. One of his pals Jack, a former police officer, teams up with his old boss from the force. They quickly go on the move to find this heavily vaccinated freak of nature as he ventures deep into the night. So yeah, there’s lots to enjoy here not only as a horror film but also equally a social satire that puts a lot of our human behavior during the covid-19 pandemic under the lens of the microscope. The societal pressures to conform, big pharma propaganda, public paranoia, conspiracy theories & general trust in our Gov’t institutions are all addressed. But not in any sort of weird polarizing way. Instead Bookwalter lets the audience forget about the real world stresses of it all & just shows the whole damn thing play out in an entirely entertaining, absurd fashion. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a courageous effort of dark satirical commentary but it’s also really just a wild little old school splatter flick at heart. The kind of movie Romero might’ve even crafted if he’d still been alive today.

It also pleasantly breaks the usual tropes in sweet yet subtle manner, one of my favorites being the ex-cop character Jack and his boss Chief Tom Danvers. Their rather unique past on the force together, erupting with emotions tied to an intense night off the job at a holiday party is an interesting character study.  I love the way their interactions were handled in response to this unforgettable event at least for one of them. That being said as much as I enjoyed the film-the way it was shot looked maybe a little too crisp. Bare in mind I just recently watched Ozone & Robot Ninja, two bonafide 80’s & 90’s horror classics IMO. So coming into this one the look of it all was a bit shocking coming directly off his older work.

I love the grimy look of ‘shot on video’ stuff and the beauty of shooting a movie like ‘Robot Ninja’ on film. I know, it’s 2024, so to actually shoot on film is expensive and probably pretty annoying BUT Bookwalter fans I know personally really do crave the look of his earlier work. A small criticism, but if ‘Side Effects May Vary’ had been shot in a similar manner I think it’ve been that much more impactful to longtime fans of his productions.

At the end of the day though it’s most definitely a gory little horror character study for the modern times that really pushes the envelope, takes risks and dresses it all up in a bloody, slimy mess of old school oozing practical FX very reminiscent of Bookwalter’s cult classics. An absurd cautionary tale for the polarized pandemic era that we’re hopefully on the other side of-if you dig his earlier flicks check this out with a live audience – likely coming to the big screen in a city near YOU!


 

 

Move Review: Mutants Do “Killer” Drugs in 1993’s SOV Action Splatter Jam – ‘OZONE’!

If you’ve ever seen 1989’s Sam Raimi produced cult zombie indie gem ‘The Dead Next Door’ then you can bet J.R. Bookwalter’s 1993 mutant mash up OZONE is bound to quench your low budget horror thirst!

I’m not really that “late to the party” having seen ‘The Dead Next Door‘ for the first time ala my Netflix DVD red mail envelope subscription many years ago. However I’m a newbie when it comes to anything else he did after that-and I’m pretty excited about it. Ozone is his 4th film that I got rently on dvd along with his 1989 film ROBOT NINJA that I’m super psyched to check out especially now. Ozone is a shot on video horror/action hybrid that’s full of impressive gore and wild drug fueled mutants!

This ambitious low budget mash up set in (Akron, Ohio) features a cop named Eddie Boone who loses his partner in a raid on a mysterious drug den. However these pesky addicts are on an intense mind & body altering drug called ‘ozone’ and they’re ready to kill anyone who steps into their dirty lair. Unfortunately our trusty protagonist here while infiltrating this place is stabbed with a full syringe of this repulsive substance by one of the mutants.

It turns his life into a living nightmare, not only mourning for the loss of his good friend but also the constant paranoia that this drug that’s now a pumping’ through his body will turn him into some sort of monster maniac.

It leads Eddie down to path into the ultra seedy urban underworld with a grim discovery unlike anything he could ever imagine. It also leads him into several ridiculous situations that are a pure joy to watch unfold on the screen. One of which involves him going into a bizarre dive bar for a couple drinks to cool down, where nearly every patron of the joint appears completely either in some sort of trance or just simply ridiculously bored beyond belief. I’m still not sure what the fuck is up with these duds. Never underestimate a gang of bored ass bar dwellers I guess (?), as they soon all gang up & attack, dragging him down into the basement and make him participate in a weird sort of “gladiator” showdown! That shit came out of NOWHERE.

Those are the type of “plot lines” that find their way into Eddies path here and that’s what makes this movie so much damn fun. It’s a great mix of horror, practical gore and action full of a big dose of gunfighting. It’s quite an ambitious film for a SOV venture and feels like it’s budget is MUCH more than I’d ever imagine. Director J R. Bookwalter definitely knows how to make a LOT with just a little. The effects on display are pretty awesome too and not for the faint of heart as you get bulging sloppy bursting boils, hacked off limbs, disgusting body morphing- but that’s not all the mutant monster drug lord is a glorious surprise as well, who almost appears as some sort of “Jabba the Hut” type puppet creature.

Another thing worth noting here: the acting is actually pretty decent and the main character Eddie Boone played by James Black delivers a pretty heavy dose of charisma a chair is rolled, a tough feat to sometimes pull off in shot on video films like this. So If you’re a big fan of schlocky low budget off the wall cinema, then ‘Ozone’ is a real treat and it’s clear that J.R. Bookwalter is a regional gem that needs to be appreciated and discovered by so many more fans of SOV cult cinema! Get jacked up on some Ozone I say!

Comic Book Cover of the Week: New Years Brings…JUDGE DEATH!

40 years ago in January this amazing cover hit the stands, Judge Dredd #3 is a heavy hitter and features the always brilliant artwork of Brian “The Killing Joke” Bolland! This guy never disappoints and I’d say he’s EASILY crafted some of the sweetest covers of all time.

Judge Death also is obviously such a cool looking villain and he’s never looked more freakin’ evil than right here. It’s one of my favorites and hopefully someday we get a film that captures the Judge and his nemesis in the vein of these classic adventures. This issue is so cool that you get EVEN more of Judge Death on the back cover as well-here’s to 2024!


 

 

 

 

VHS Verdict: 1987’s ‘Order of the Black Eagle’ & the Return of Typhoon the Baboon!

I watched Order of the Black Eagle, a VHS that I was pretty pumped to see that’s currently stuck in “video only” limbo and is the sequel to 1986’s ‘Unmasking The Idol’. That one got a sweet Vinegar Syndrome blu ray release-that you just got to pick up if you’re looking for a total 80’s action banger. I was lucky enough to see the first installment here on the big screen in Portland, OR at the iconic Cinematic Theater with in a packed theater and boy was it a crowd pleaser! The star of the show is really the main character’s (a 007 style secret agent named “Duncan Jax”) animal sidekick, a Baboon named Typhoon, who’s got his own damn Letterboxd actor page! The lil guy kicks a LOT of ass in the first film. This of course is while he wears a tuxedo, does martial arts moves and flips people the bird whenever he gets the opportunity!

I HIGHLY recommend picking up that on blu ray-so I was naturally super stoked to find that the movie had a sequel from 1987! Made just a year later, so peeps must have been just as pumped as I was about this nifty little fully over the top adventure romp. Yes- Even more shenanigans from Duncan Jax AND of COURSE Typhoon the baboon. Sign me up! I’m a total sucker for 1980s adventure films jam packed with all the thing that make the era such a unique time for action filled with real explosions and crazy commandos.

Well I found it on VHS and threw up the projector and gave ‘Order of the Black Eagle’ an eager viewing. The rundown goes something like this: On a remote island, inside of a strange castle a gang of ambitious Neo nazi’s have an outrageous plan to revive Hitler from the dead. It’s up to Jax and his rag tag gang of super spies to infiltrate this evil clan and make sure Hitler stays dead forever! Now that’s some incentive huh?! He’s the ultimate evil looking a little waxy while still in suspended animation.

Well along the way we do get quite an adventure, full of explosions, lots of guns, jungles, babes, hunks, evil masterminds and over the top bastard henchmen. It’s pretty fun little dumb pulpy romp that unfortunately is a bit light on Typhoon the baboon and with his role significantly diminished in the second installment the film unfortunately begins to devolve into a generic rich white playboy secret agent man who simply doesn’t have the charm (or the script) of the real James Bond. Luckily he’s joined by a gang of gun crazy numb nuts the likes of this guy right here:

Typhoon was likely the main reason why ‘Unmasking the Idol’ felt SO special-no matter how many explosions you throw at us. Sure it’s still fun to see Hitler’s resurrection get foiled and Jax’s team of tough guys/gals (who barely get any character development) go to town on a huge nazi militia BUT what we really all came to actually see was the damn BABOON! And when he does appear the vibe obviously changes quickly as his charisma level is pretty much through the roof.

So what exactly was Typhoon doing most of the time here? Well even though he wasn’t on screen nearly as much as the last film-he still go plenty moments to flip people off (which never seems to get old) and also his big “highlight” comes when he jumps in a miniature primate sized tank(as seen in the above pic) and blows up a dozen Neo-nazis. So it’s still got a few entertaining chops under it’s sleeve but this time around most of the action involves Jax and his new band of misfit commandos-which is still a lot of fun to behold but still manages to be a bit bland at least in comparison to the first installment.

This also falls a bit into the “Indiana Jones rip-off” sub genre more this time, with lots of island jungle chases, river boating and shoddy cheap-o adventuring inside a castle temple that looks like it’s made out of cardboard. Count me in for anything from the era that strives to give us some “Indy action flavor”, It feels like I’m cutting this film down but it really does make for a fun midnight flick and I personally think Vinegar Syndrome should have released both films in a 2-pack.

This is in serious need of a new transfer as well as a some intense sound editing, the VHS version of the film’s dialogue is severely buried in the background noises and loud score. Overall ‘Order of the Black Eagle’ is a bit of a subpar sequel to a near perfect first installment-obviously it need more of Typhoon the baboon but had THIS been a stand-alone film I think it still would be deserving of a small but dedicated cult following. If you haven’t seen ‘Unmasking the Idol’ though you’re in for a real treat, just keep in mind that the sequel doesn’t really improve on much and it’s clear why a third film never materialized…

 

Movie Review: Tom Delonge Reveals the “Alien Conspiracy” in MONSTERS OF CALIFORNIA?

I took a chance the other night out of sheer boredom and stopped by the Redbox kiosk at the grocery store to give Blink 182’s Tom Delonge’s first directorial effort a shot-MONSTERS OF CALIFORNIA. I’ve been a bit curious about this for a while now, specifically curious about just what the hell Tom’s agenda is these days as he’s hooked up with Government officials apparently to slowly reveal the “alien agenda” softly to the public. He’s been a BIG alien buff for quite sometime and of course I can totally respect his efforts. But as he’s been hangin’ with the gov’t big wigs I became even more curious just how much he can really be trusted to deliver the truth?

Well here we likely get a glimpse into the thing perhaps he’s trying to reveal in his first “To The Stars Academy” film. I think his heart is sort of in the right place movie wise-trying to put together a of Gov’t conspiracy type of film that appears to be inspired by himself and likely his Blink bandmates. He goes hard with the 90’s/early 2000’s humor which frankly didn’t surprise me one bit some of it lands and well some fall as flat as a Blink B-side. Trying here to not be too PC, we get an onslaught of dick jokes and “I wanna bang your mom and you sister” type of ‘Enema of the State” style stoner humor that sometimes hits but mostly feels a bit generic and safe. Still though he tries his best to create characters and situations that you might feel lifted from an old 80s Spielberg flick as you get three teen dudes who’re obsessed with the paranormal. They spend much of their time trying to prove the existence of ghosts, aliens, the afterlife and yes of course Sasquatch.

Throw in some generic teen “romance and family drama for good measure and you get a sort of “by the books” supernatural adventure that feels oddly familiar. The characters are likable enough, but the only one who really gets any real depth is our lead played by Jack Samson, who in the movie is severely depressed at the disappearance (death?) of his father. His dad was apparently involved in some top secret shit that involved government secrets into the supernatural realm of thing like cryptids and flying saucers. The kid and his friends discover some classified coordinates to paranormal “hot spots” setting out on an adventure to expose the truth and also get to the bottom of the kid’s missing dad. However the Government isn’t too happy with the teens meddling into these top secret affairs and soon it’s a race against time for survival as things quickly spiral out of control.

I think Monsters of California is good watch if you’re looking for something fun at the Safeway Redbox. Tom Delonge tries his best to craft a quirky adventure, some of it works and some of it feels a bit too ham-fisted at times. The special fx are for the most part pretty decent too, aside from the CG ghost the teens encounter, which I think they shouldn’t have shown at all. One of the main problems here is the full reveal of supernatural entities being “real” within the first few minutes sort of spoils the fun. That being said, there’s actually a pretty cool looking Bigfoot that employs some sweet practical fx and a few solid laughs. The movie in general looks pretty great and it’s definitely not a bad effort at all for Delonge. It’s just a bit too timid and doesn’t bring anything new to the table, staying too firmly within boundaries that probably needed to be pushed a bit to make this a memorable cinematic experience. This is first and foremost a comedy but I can’t help but feel as if Delonge is trying to send us some sort of “message” here as to what he’s been privy to with his real life government connections.

It’s really anyones guess, but the movie clearly has a strong narrative and I do wonder if what we’re shown here is at least a vague idea of what he thinks is really going on with all of these UFO or now “UAP” sightings. Personally I believe Tom might’ve been purposely given dis-information from the Government about the alien phenomenon to spread to the public-time will tell I suppose. However maybe he does really know something we don’t and I guess ‘Monsters of California’ likely gives us a glimpse of what Delonge thinks is happening. I’d say this is worth a watch if you’re hanging around a Redbox, but don’t go too far out of your way to watch it-as it’s a fairly familiar, slightly generic foray into the mind of Tom Delonge and the alien conspiracy….