Category: comedy

PLAYTIME: Chucky’s Killer Doll Counterpart Vs. Modern Cinema!

Here’s something that’s truly perfect for the Halloween season at hand and any fan of the Child’s Play franchise alike. Studio ADI who are known most for their amazing practical & animatronic monster FX through out the years presents this new short web series about a creepy doll actor who plays a killer doll named “Billy” and stars in a “Child’s Play” like 80’s movie franchise.  

 

Down on his luck doll actor Billy has seen better days during the 80’s and when he today finds out that his franchise is getting a reboot without he’s determined to make things right! Much like what’s actually going on currently with the Child’s Play franchise which itself is indeed getting a full fledged reboot, ditching the original look of Chucky and basically wiping the slate clean of everything that came before it, including Brad Dourif & Don Mancini. Each episode is only a few minutes long but it’s definitely worth it, as it indeed features some truly stunning practical fx work and an intriguing, meta look at the killer doll/hollywood reboot treatment of some of our most beloved and cherished franchises!! There’s now three mini (no puns intended) episodes out now-Check it!!

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‘The Predator’ Movie Review: Bad Comedy & Not Much Else…

So Friday afternoon I checked out ‘The Predator’, the latest comedy from director Shane Black, the 5th installment to the movie franchise if you include those AVP films. I’d been pumped for this thing to drop as a big fan of the original, which back in 1987 was the first R-rated movie I saw in the theaters. It was also the first movie I’d ever snuck into. I can still remember my friend and I’s reaction to witnessing ‘Predator’ on the big screen after sneaking in, which itself was pretty exciting actually, it was a truly epic cinematic event I’ll never forget and one of those moments growing up that shaped my obsession of movies to current day. I love Predator and the best thing about the movie is that it STILL holds up as one of the best action/horror/scifi flicks of all time. So yeah, naturally when I’d heard Shane Black, who’d actually starred in the original film and Fred Dekker (Monster Squad, Night of the Creeps) was writing it, my hopes for a truly iconic return to form for the Predator franchise was indeed very high.

Well the verdict is in folks, and as a longtime fan, I’m sorry to say the movie blows. After seeing the trailers, I was certainly cautious going into this one, but still was quite certain if anyone was going to deliver the goddamn goods this time around it’d have be Shane Black. That however was certainly not the case. ‘The Predator’ is a full blown comedy and not a good one, in fact it was a bit awkward in the theater as their attempts at jokes fell quite flat most of the time to a rather quiet and unenthusiastic audience. I guess the best way to describe it is it’s attempting to be a Marvel movie version of the Predator. This seems to be the trend these days in these bloated blockbusters, interrupting any potentially serious moments in a movie with some sort of “witty” Marvel-esque attempt at a joke. I’ve gotta say I’m over it. Long gone is the horror/slasher, suspense of the original films instead we’ve got utterly bland characters entrenched in one truly moronic adventure.

I could care less about this movie’s characters, in fact at one point I was hoping for the Predator to destroy them all just so they’d stop cracking unfunny jokes. All of them are totally generic, even the little kid is just a total bore and probably had no place even being in a Predator movie, especially this one which I found out has some weird ass controversy surrounding it. I’m not going to give a play by play either, as so many people out there have already reviewed this stinker. I’ll get down to the real meat and potatoes here, the Predator at least looked good, that is until the bigger CGI Predator and his lame ass CG dogs shows up to take a big dump on that aspect of things as well. Let’s not even discuss how dumb the Predator dog subplot is here, it’s just not worth the time, lets just say it’s another example of The Predator’s piss poor writing. There’s also tons of “call back” joke lines thrown around here from previous movies in the franchise, apparently Shane thinks that shit is still really a big treat for the fans, as a fan I can truly say it’s not.

The movie is just one big dumb, poorly edited, poorly paced, boring mess of a movie. For the longest time I was hoping that Arnold would return in this film as Dutch from the 1987 classic. I wanted it so bad. After seeing 2018’s ‘The Predator’ I’m actually fully relieved that he declined the cameo Shane Black had offered him. This movie didn’t deserve to have Dutch to make an appearance. As far as ranking the films, this one just might be the worst of the batch, I actually would rather watch the two AVP movies before trudging through this thing again. I’d say after this it just might be time to retire the franchise for good. I’m still amazed Shane Black and Fred Dekker could drop the ball this badly, but alas they served us all a bonafide shit sandwich. Good riddance Predator, I’m sad to say it but I’m not gonna miss you…. 

VHS Verdict: A Wild Ride On The ‘Night Train to Terror’!

I recently checked out a pretty sweet little horror anthology from 1985 called ‘Night Train to Terror’ on VHS and it did indeed deliver the goods, especially in that oh so ridiculously sweet 80’s way. It’s not always easy to find a decent horror anthology but this one had a certain charm about it especially with it’s rather ambitious special fx & visuals that really made it such a damn good time.

The movie certainly kicks off with a total bang as we’re thrust into a full blown dance party on a train, with crazy 80’s fashion, a super cheezed out band rockin’ performing a totally “rad” third rate pop song. Now that’s a train I want to reserve a seat on! Anyway, soon we realize that God and Satan are also on a train that’s flying through outer space and trying to determine who will live on the party train as it’s going to crash. This is where we see the frightening tales of evil materialize on screen as it sets the stage for the stories involving some of the more questionable passengers.

So what we’ve got here are a few cool tales of terror, what’s really interesting is these stories here are all apparently edited versions of different horror films: Death Wish Club, Cataclysm and an unfinished movie project with Richard Moll (of Night Court fame) called Scream Your Head Off. Yeah and if you’re for some reason a big Richard Moll fan you’ll be pleased to know he stars in two of the segments! Also while we’re on the hot topic of Richard Moll flicks, you’ve got to check out ‘The Dungeonmaster’ from 1984, which is easily one of the most ridiculously fun horror/Sci fi flicks of the 80s. So back to the Night Train, it would seem one reason why these segments work so well is that they’ve likely trimmed out all of the excess fat from these movies and got to get straight to the damn point. So many obscure 80’s horror flicks would be bonafide cult classics if they’d trim 20 or so minutes from their run times. That’s a fact!

Yep, Night Train has got a lot to offer in it’s spooky entries, but don’t expect shit to make a heckuva lot of sense. The stories are actually kinda confusing, probably because they’ve been majorly butchered to pieces. That being said, there’s some cool shit going on, there’s one about a dude who drugs women, then kills them only to collect their organs. There’s a ton of nudity and some gore and of course Richard Moll shows up. The next segment’s about a freaky ass death club, whose members are obsessed with near death experiences, not the “out of body” stuff but like putting themselves into elaborate death traps to see if they can survive it. This one’s also pretty damn confusing, but there’s some cool ass traps and a rad killer insect that they let out of a bottle to fly around them at a dinner table..oh yeah and then some killer big hungry monster bugs! Lastly the third one was fucking fantastic, It had some weird ass Nazi guy who never ages, you guessed it…more Richard Moll, monsters a plenty and a totally excellent stop-motion animation creature sequence.  This one’s story is super confusing as well, or maybe i’m just stupid, but it doesn’t really matter because it’s all 80’s gory goodness. I’d say just drink some booze and smoke a joint before watching, as it’s not there to wow anyone with a well crafted story that’s for sure!

So check this one out if you’re in the mood for a sweet 1980’s horror party flick, it delivers on all levels and you really don’t have to pay much attention to what’s going on, just sit back and enjoy the goofy ambition of it all…

The ‘Puppet Master’ Franchise Officially Returns!

It’s about time right? The Puppet Master franchise is officially back! The official trailer has dropped for Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich, the new reboot of the classic series that became a cult classic way back in 1989. It features a screenplay from S. Craig Zahler (director of Bone Tomahawk and Brawl in Cell Block 99), features some crazy new puppets. Shit hits the fan when a supernatural force animates a collection of puppets up for auction at an antique convention, setting them on a blood drenched killing spree that’s put into motion by an ancient evil. It stars Michael Paré, Thomas Lennon, Charlyne Yi, Udo Kier, Nelson Franklin, Matthias Hues, Jenny Pellicer, and Barbara Crampton. The movie is directed by Sonny Laguna (Wither) & Tommy Wiklund.

So far this looks like a pretty sweet little reboot that’s definitely not holding back on killer puppet practical fx mayhem. Count me in here, as a huge fan of the original movie this one looks like it’s been re-booted the right way! This one’s set to release August 17th 2018.

 

Indiana Jones 5: The Search for The Fountain of Youth?!

So supposedly we’re going to be getting a 5th installment in the next few years of the beloved Indiana Jones film franchise. It’s said to be Harrison Ford’s final portrayal of the character, as he’s going to be 77 years old next year. Many have been ranting about how unrealistic it is that good ol’ Indy would be running around exotic locations beating up Nazis at that old of an age. Sure it’s an unlikely scenario and it’s rumored well that he’s expected to pass the torch to a younger actor or even gender swap his character altogether making Indy a female adventurer much like ‘Laura Croft’. I’m a HUGE fan of the movies and at the end of the day whether Indy becomes a woman or not I just want the story to be a ton of fun and feel like whatever happens, happens naturally. This leads me to what I think would be an incredible idea for Harrison’s final movie IF they were indeed wanting the character of Indiana Jones to live on as the one we’ve seen throughout the years.

There’s a cool story that could be told that’d make perfect sense for one last hurrah in the world of an old Indiana Jones. What if an almost 80 year old Indiana Jones was suddenly given some sort of definitive proof that the fountain of youth does indeed exist and that he just might be able to find it? Now that’d be the news that I think could inspire him and his wife Marion Ravenwood to get up off the couch, grab the whip and head out into boonies for an adventure that to the both of them could feel as urgent & important as they come. For the 5th installment it’s important to have an excellent reason that’d inspire adventurers of this age to rally one last time and attempt to go the distance. Now imagine he enlists some of his old pals to join him and his wife, get Short Round back for this one give Sallah a call as he’d likely be down for a drink from the fountain of youth as well. Then get ready to recast the whole crew of actors as the odds look good they’ll indeed find what they’re looking for.

This could be an incredibly compelling & heartfelt tale to tell for the whole gang, they could legitimately amp up the nostalgia as well, as the older characters all long for their youth once more, reminisce about the old adventures and like most of us all, to some degree don’t want to face death. This last adventure could be one of Indy & crews most desperate and they could also this time around give us a spectacle that feels & looks more in line with the first three movies. Real locations, practical effects, real explosions the whole shebang. It’d also have to take place in the 1960’s as we’re now 10 years past Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (which I do like-but also see it’s major flaws) which would also be a whole new time period to play with. Lastly, imagine say in the last 20 minutes or so, our heroes indeed do find the fountain after a crazy adventure thus far and are actually able to drink from it. This is where we pass the torch and the real supernatural aspect of the movie really kicks.

I know to many Star Wars fans Alden Ehrenreich wasn’t the person they’d initially hoped to see cast as a young Han Solo. The buzz for actor Anthony Ingruber was huge amongst fans, especially after he’d been perfectly cast as a young Harrsion Ford in The Age of Adaline. In these scenes Ingruber captures the likeness of Ford to pure perfection and also looks uncannily like him at the same time. Check it:

Now imagine Indiana Jones finally drinks from the fountain, we cut to some other characters in danger of being captured by Nazi’s or whoever the villains are this time around, and next we see Indy emerge from the shadows only this time Ingruber in the role stepping forward into the light. Now of course near the end of the movie perhaps all of his companions are offered a drink and we can then recast whoever does indeed partake of the mystical liquid. It’d be fun to throw around casting ideas as well for the rest of the gang and I think this would be a seamless and intriguing way to pass the torch to a younger generation. That would also leave adventures in the future to take place in the 60s,70s and 80s as well. It’d also finally utilize the actor who was once thought to be the perfect choice to portray one of Ford’s most iconic roles. If they do indeed stick with a continuation of the classic character this would be a great way to do so otherwise I guess they could go the whole Mutt Williams route once again and say Indiana has yet another child, this time a daughter he doesn’t know about that could continue his mantle. What do you think? P.S. Lucas & Spielberg feel free to rip me off! I wanna see this shit done right!!

‘Book of Monsters’ New Trailer Looks Like a Lost Cult Classic 80’s Creature Feature!

Now here’s a new crazy looking monster movie that looks pretty damn sweet and totally ready to quench my thirst for those gooey creature features of the 80’s! There’s something about most modern monster movies that just doesn’t cut the cake for me, I’m rarely convinced these days that a CGI creation is much of a threat on screen, as they don’t really look like they’re actually there in the flesh. Rather floating around on a separate computerized layer. So as much as I loved “A Quiet Place” the monsters were probably my least favorite thing about the movie. Give me an 80’s classic like ‘The Thing’, ‘The Blob’, ‘Gremlins’ or even something like “Neon Maniacs” any day of the damn week!

Judging by the new trailer for “Book of Monsters” I might’ve just found the kind of movie I’m looking for. It looks like a long lost 80’s creature feature in the best way possible. The premise sounds like a fun time as well, besides the whole “evil book” thing which might be considered a bit played out at this point, it still looks like a ton of gory fun filled with a lots of old school practical fx monster mayhem. 

The plot:

Sophie’s 18th birthday party becomes a total bloodbath when six horrific monsters descend upon her home, intent on devouring the party guests and killing anyone who tries to escape their clutches. As her school friends are ripped to shreds and eaten, Sophie must rally a band of misfits and take up arms to send their party crashers back to the depths of hell. To survive the night, Sophie will face her destiny; monsters are real – and she’s the only one who can stop them.

Check out the trailer, this one’s set to drop on August 25th..

 

The 5 Potentially Most Awesome Upcoming Horror Flicks!!

Great new horror movies are hard to come by these days, so here I am once again, to give you a list of 5 movies that seem to be contenders to drum up the ultimate scares! I’m always on the look out for new horror stuff and also always lookin’ out for ones that might just fly under the radar because they’re not big Hollywood productions. So here my predictions for some cool spooky shit to keep your eyes peeled for!

1. MANDY

Hooooooooly shit! This Trailer looks absolutely amazing, totally unique and for fans of Nicholas Cage it’s gonna likely be a full on wet dream. Everything about this movie looks fantastic, horrifying, gory, mysterious and beautiful. It also involves a creepy ass religious cult who it appears Cage has to do battle with to get ultimate revenge! Check this out it’s got me foaming at the mouth and the movie drops September 14th 2018!!

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