Category: Movies

VHS VERDICT: 1988’s HAWKEYE – The Unofficial BEVERLY HILLS COP Sequel?!

Have you been waiting for the Beverly Hill’s Cop franchise to finally put out that fourth installment? Well, the wait is (sorta) over if you’ve never seen 1988’s ‘Hawkeye’ aka ‘Karate Cops’! Well I just checked this wildly ridiculous buddy cop flick on VHS and if you’ve ever been looking for more adventures with Eddie Murphy’s ‘Axel Foley’ then the wait is OVER! This movie has got the most convincing Eddie Murphy impersonator I’ve ever seen-he even looks just like him. Yeah Chuck Jeffreys will make you think you’re watching “Axel F” on a forgotten 80’s adventure. Though the movie’s budget is probably one tenth of the popular ‘Beverly Hills Cop’ franchise it actually delivers equal amounts of the real goods, in fact it’s probably better than any of the franchises REAL sequels!

We’ve got pretty much the ultimate buddy cop/martial arts team up here on display-which just wouldn’t be as ridiculously charming without the addition of co-lead George Chung who stars as Hawkeye. Talk about an interesting character, Hawkeye is no typical 80’s Asian stereotype, in fact it’s beaten into the audience’s head that he’s from Texas more than a dozen times. He’s got a hot head, cocky attitude and a huge chip on his shoulder along with his western fashion IE snazzy cowboy boots and giant western belt buckles. He’s quite the hotshot and it’s a boat load of fun to watch him in ass-kickin’ action as he’s ready to take a bite outta crime at the drop of a cowboy hat.

Things wouldn’t be nearly as fun though if Hawkeye didn’t partner up with Chuck Jeffrey’s Eddie Murphy clone Charles Wilson (I started just calling him Axel Farley) to kick all sorts of criminal scumbag butt. Yeah Jeffrey’s has got his Eddie Murphy look, mannerisms and joke’s down, so much so subconsciously I actually began to believe he was indeed Eddie. Well he was apparently so obsessed with impersonating Murphy he did it in 1987’s ‘Paper Dragons’ aka ‘Fight to Win’ check out this VHS cover- I’ve got to see this one! I’m pretty sure he might “do the Murphy” in most of the movies he starred in….

These two make a pretty stupid but entertaining pair too, it’s never a dull moment seeing their witty banter and it’s clear BOTH of them are wildly talented at karate. It’s really jam packed with over the top action sequences and dumb shootouts on the streets & hotels of 1980s Vegas. Basically its a revenge story, when Haweye’s partner is killed in a drug investigation, he’s out for bloody revenge, at first he and Charles (Axel Farley) are like oil and water but after assaulting each other a few minutes after getting paired up they’re suddenly getting along like two peas in a damn pod! These two numbnuts are a wild duo and it seems like George Chung who co-wrote, directed and starred in this got a kick out of having his character Hawkeye get racist stereotypes and insults hurled at him throughout, an interesting angle when you know he was behind a lot of the humor.

Somehow it all works- the cocky asian texan cowboy and the Eddie Murphy rip-off have WAY too much fun together on screen and the villains are also just as ridiculous as the heroes in the best ways possible. My only qualm was that I was hoping for a better karate fueled showdown, when the credits rolled I was a bit surprised it’d ended when it did. It felt to me like a chunk of the finale went missing- but all in all though the movie as whole still was pretty satisfying. I highly recommend this fun but idiotic buddy cop flick-especially if you’re a big Eddie Murphy fanatic! It’s got to be seen to be believed! Here’s the full movie right here:

 

Advertisement

RACE WITH THE DEVIL: The Perfect 1970s Satanic Road Trip!

You just gotta love a solid road trip flick and one of the best ones around is easily RACE WITH THE DEVIL. The 1975 horror action thriller hybrid that pits an RV against a wicked satanic cult! I’d say as far as 70s action horror films go this one is a huge home run, with a excellent cast of characters played by Peter Fonda, Warren Oates, Loretta Swit (Hot Lips from M.A.S.H.) and Lara Parker. Road trip flicks just simply don’t get any better than this!

One thing I’ve always been a big fan of is a damn good road trip film and one with a giant ass RV is even better. Now add in an evil Satanic cult for the icing on the cake as well as some grade A car chases and we’ve got a bonafide cult (no pun intended) classic. Roger (Peter Fonda), along with his good buddy Frank (Warren Oates) are two hot shot motocross dudes who’re pumped to head out onto the open road with their wives Lara Parker (Alice) & Loretta Swit (Kelly) in their huge RV for some relaxation, drinkin’ and of course some motorbikin’!

Headed from San Antonio to the boonies of Texas, they stop off for the evening at a remote campsite. All seems fine when Roger & Frank decide to get wasted and hang outside under the moonlight to shoot the shit. All is not quiet though. They spot a Satanic cult across the river and witness a murderous ritual. They’re caught watching the Satanists devious ritual triggering a vicious game of cat and mouse on the highways and small towns of Texas. Roger, Frank, Alice and Kelly are on the run from a wicked cult who’s membership extends farther than they could ever imagine.

‘Race with the Devil’, directed by Jack Starrett, mostly know as a TV director, really hits all the right beats here. A sweet cast of likable characters are the perfect crew to root for making this easily one of the best road trip horror thrillers out there. Obviously the RV makes for the perfect cozy setting for a rad road adventure, and this thing is seriously decked out.

There’s so much to enjoy here as well for horror fans, the cult is creepy and relentless in a time where people couldn’t just pull out their phones for GPS or call the cops at any moment. In the 70s you had to have your wits and genuine ingenuity to escape an evil cult in hot pursuit. There’s not a dull moment here either, ‘Race with the Devil’ moves at a brisk pace and keeps you on the very edge of your seat until it’s final moments. It features cool locales, campsites, dive bars, trailer parks all host the intrigue, dread and even a few laughs along the way.

As soon as you settle back down to safety, something rears it’s head to remind you nothing can be trusted on the backwoods roads and our gang is in it for the long haul. It’s low on blood & gore but bursting with thrills, chills and some fucking great action sequences, proving you don’t always need a high body count to deliver a well crafted horror film. The 1970s were an awesome era for film, the fashion and the gritty realism make a movie like ‘Race with the Devil’ even more potent now in a sea of cheap looking modern bloated CG conveyer belt film making. It doesn’t get much better than THIS. There’s also a cool double feature blu ray from Shout Factory of it.

 

Movie Melt Podcast: 1984’s ‘FURIOUS’ Excels in Chicken Themed Martial Arts in the Astral Plane!

Some movies are just sooooo strange it’s hard to even describe the plot without sounding like you’re losing your mind! That would be most definitely be 1984’s FURIOUS! A movie I’m not sure was supposed to be as weird as it turned out to be? Fear not though I went back on the MOVIE MELT podcast and jumped deep into the void! It’s a strange So-Cal Martial arts adventure that feels like it takes place in an alternate reality, where everything is just slightly off with bizarre things going down on screen for no apparent reason and plot that seems to incorporate transforming people into chickens! Yeah, there’s a lot of chickens in FURIOUS as well as some, lets say “questionable” but entertaining martial arts battles to tantalize your mind!

I’m a big fan of dream-like movies and this one definitely feels pulled straight from the REM sleep arena for all to enjoy and try to make a lick of sense of! Could FURIOUS be the most dream-like film off all time? Should Christopher Nolan have taken notes from this one before directing ‘INCEPTION’? I personally think so! I mean people transform into pigs for no reason, take that ‘Inception’!!

If you’re a fan weird forgotten action cinema this episode will not disappoint! We get DEEP into the meanings all the onscreen nonsense, talk about cool movies you need to check out and even have a “chicken themed” battle of the bands competition!! Plus soooo much more cinematic trash to load your brain with than you ever imagined possible! Check out the EPISODE RIGHT HERE!!! Oh and if you want to experience the strange world of Furious, the whole damn thing is right here on Youtube!

Everything Everywhere: Ke Huy Quan’s 1991 Forgotten Ass-kicker!

So we all just saw how ‘Everything Everywhere All At Once’ cleaned up at the Oscars last night and all were basically brought to tears with Huy Ke Quan’s acceptance speech for BEST supporting actor. I predicted this all after walking out of the theater, it’s one of the most unique movies I’ve seen in a long time and it’s so nice something that awesome and original actually win. Well to all you new Ke Huy Quan fans you’re probably wondering where to go next?! Well most people only know him from this latest endeavor and of course The Goonies and Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom. Well get ready to go deep down the Ke Quan rabbit hole, there’s another awesome movie of his that’s almost entirely forgotten, way back from 1991: BREATHING FIRE!!!

As you all saw in “Everything Everywhere” Huy is quite the martial artist and if you really wanna see just how long he’s been kicking ass ‘Breathing Fire’ will give you a serious dose of his wild physical talent. Take note though, it’s not an Oscar worthy flick-but it’s so much damn fun to watch unfold. It’s got a pretty wild plot too: Mike, A Vietnam vet martial arts master with two teenage sons, one being Ke Quan, decides to take part in  bank heist with a ruff n’ tumble gang of criminals and the bank manager himself. To make sure no one double crosses, Mike makes a special very special set of keys, ensuring that the secret safe for the riches can only be opened if every member of the gang are all there in person.

Unfortunately the bank manager, suddenly has second thoughts and tries to back out of the deal. Mike along with his gnarly gang decides to put a hit out on him. His daughter who’s on to his criminal behavior, luckily, gets hold of the key, runs for help to one of her father’s old friends, Vietnam vet and a former war pal of Mike. That’s not enough though to take on this crew of wicked gangsters lead by none other than Bolo Yeung! They also need to employ the martial arts skills of the Ke Huy Quan and his step brother, both who happen to be teenage kickboxing masters!!

Breathing Fire is such a damn good time, it’s a cult classic in waiting, especially now since Ke Huy Quan is on top of the world. I expect this one to likely get a shiny new blu ray release some time in the near future-it certainly deserves one. It’s hits all the right beats of the late 80’s/early90s coming of age action comedy. It’s plot is unique enough too, with the villain actually being the kids father, which serves up a nice dramatic twist.

Also seeing the mighty Bolo Yeung as one of the main villains is the icing on the cake as well as seeing Quan going one on one with him is really history in the making now. It’s jam packed with charming but equally ridiculous dialogue, over the top gun play and some really impressive choreography equivalent to stuff that Hong Kong studios were putting out at the time.

It’s a step above, despite being a lower budget endeavor, a lot of the American action films of the time, at least with the onscreen battles that unfold. There’s some truly bizarre plot twists as well as some surprising characters that enter the fold will likely leave you with a grin. With a lean run time of 85 minutes too this one wastes no time getting to the fun. Quan also shines again with his usual charisma and it’s really cool to see him at this age showcasing his chops-both physically and acting wise. I highly recommend getting onboard with Breathing Fire and spreading the word, I’m really surprised how under the radar this movie has remained. However, I’ve got a feeling it’s going to get cult classic status soon, with Ke Huy Quan back on top!!

VHS Verdict: Maria Ford is an ANGEL OF DESTRUCTION!

Jennifer Lawrence for some reason appears to think she’s the world’s first female action star but there’s a treasure trove of lady badasses in cinema throughout the years to behold. Specifically Maria Ford in 1994’s highly underrated & essentially forgotten ass kicker ‘Angel of Destruction’. Ford goes full Jean Claude Van Damme here and it’s a riot as she beats the holy hell out of a plethora of low IQ (no offense if you have a low IQ, I certainly have one) meatheads (If you’re a meathead though too bad) hellbent on either killing her, mansplaining her or trying to pathetically get in her drawers.

Last time I saw Maria Ford was in ‘The Unnamable 2’ a sweet “better than the original” horror sequel from 1992, where she spends most of her time completely nude. Well she continues the tradition here, as she’s in her birthday suit quite a bit and even manages to beat down a gang of home invaders while donning only her g-string. Angel of Destruction is a fast paced, fairly idiotic actioner that’s a great schlocky time from ‘New Horizons Home Video’. Maria stars as a “tuff as nails cop” who’s sister is murdered by a deranged military vet-turned serial killer, obsessed with killing mob bosses, rockstars & random women, whom he role plays with as his “brides on a wedding night” and then murders them for his twisted kicks. When Maria’s sister becomes his next victim she jumps on the killer’s trail in a whirlwind of rage and teams up with her hunky detective boyfriend to kick and blast their way to ultimate justice.


The weirdo serial killer next targets an “on the rise” female pop singer, who’s hoping her latest music video (in which she performs entirely topless?!) will make her the next Samantha Fox and put her on MTV map to super-stardom. Guess that’s an interesting strategy?

Ford takes the job as the singers personal bodyguard to protect her and her voluptuous lady lover from the skeezy serial killer AND her disgusting Harvey Weinstien-esque manager. There’s some wildly entertaining fight sequences filled with broken tables, broken bottles, busted up chairs, roundhouse kicks, bar room brawls with big dumb bone-heads to get fully immersed in.

I really dig Maria’s performance here too, she’s easily the brightest bulb in a cast made up almost entirely of morons. The plot’s a lot of legit dumb fun and of course Ford is hott as hell and fully able to be quite convincing when giving a mad beatdown to dudes three times her bodyweight. There’s a cool showdown too and Maria gets to go the distance against the big baddie for the most part all by her lonesome.

I’m very curious if she delved into anymore cool sexy full on action flicks?! If so I’m game for more sweet 90s cheez! Someone wise up and give ‘Angel of Destruction’ a fancy blu ray already-Maria is a cult ballbuster here just waiting for a bigger audience

 

RIP Steve Barkett: A True B-Movie LEGEND.

It’s just come to my attention that the highly underrated B-movie legend Steve Barkett (born in 1950) has passed away, the news via Jim Wynorski. I think it’s a sad day for anyone who knew of some his wildly entertaining movies and raw charisma as an actor. I only recently discovered his movies about 5 years ago but when I did it was a game changer. If you’re gonna start out anywhere with Steve I highly recommend Empire of the Dark his 1990 horror/action hybrid. He not only directed this movie but also starred in the leading role AND wrote the script. It’s a highly ambitious mix of horror fantasy, tuff guy action film and romantic comedy. It would make the perfect double feature with Evil Dead 2.

Yeah it’s THAT awesome and I know it’s saying a lot but I think Steve here oozes just as much charisma as Bruce Campbell in the leading role. He shines as the unlikely action hero who can somehow go “one on one” with the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dolph Lundgren.

Also for his budget he makes more than the most of just about everything in this movie from wild demonic set pieces in hell to crazy action battles. This is the one movie of his that I will watch over and over for the rest of my life.

He was a highly ambitious and incredibly inventive filmmaker, it’s a bit of a shame that his directorial output only manifested two movies, but both are awesome. 

 But don’t get me wrong he did so much more he starred in some other sweet B-movies in smaller roles like 1994’s Dinosaur Island, 1995’s Bikini Drive-In, 1993’s Dark Universe his other sole directorial post apocalyptic masterpiece The Aftermath (1982). 

I’d always hope that he’d get behind the camera and in front of the camera in larger rolls a bit more in his later years, but hes left behind a some major league gems that anyone who’s a fan of low budget genre perfection must watch!

Steve will be remembered for all of the laughs and smiles he gave to all of us fans of these crazy movies- If you’re reading this post and you’ve never heard of him do yourself a favor and check out Empire of the Dark and The Aftermath ASAP! RIP Steve….

The Movie Melt Podcast Encounters ALIENS, CLOWNS & GEEKS!!

I went back on to the MOVIE MELT PODCAST and had a serious close encounter with Richard Elfman’s (older brother of Danny Elfman) latest wacky comedy ‘ALIENS, CLOWNS & GEEKS’! Richard has been making movies since 1980 and this is only my second feature of his I’ve seen, the first being 1994’s “horror” comedy ‘Shrunken Heads’. I can say though I have seen the music video he directed for his bro Danny’s band Oingo Boingo!

In this zany story an out-of-work actor stumbles upon a key to the universe that emerges directly out of his butt. Things in his life change quickly when he that he realizes there’s an intergalactic war between clowns and aliens. I guess the rest of the cast are the “geeks”? He’s stuck in the middle of a “wild” conspiracy and he’s got to get to the bottom of this global threat. It’s a weird one, with a touch of “Killer Clowns from Outer Space” and a dash of John Waters.

 

Plus we talk about movies you need to be watching and there’s also a ‘battle of the bands’ that will blow your mind! Is Richard Elfman my new fave director?! Has a modern comedy FINALLY delivered the goods? Is this movie a stroke of GENIUS or one BIG lame flat deflated joke? CHECK OUT THE EPISODE RIGHT HERE!! Oh yeah and the FULL movie is on Youtube or you can get the blu ray from MVD:

The Story of Riki-Oh vs. the Savage STONE AGE WARRIORS!

‘Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky’ has a huge cult following for a goddamn good reason, obviously the extreme over the top gore is what really grabs people initially but also the film’s star Fan Siu-wong just kills it as the film’s main character Riki-Oh. Well if you’re looking to see another excellent action bonanza starring lead Fan Siu-wong you’ve come to the right place.

I just watched ‘Stone Age Warriors’ from 1991 and it’s a real treat jam packed with jungle action, babes, hunks & adventure galore. It also stars a couple other heavy hitters it’s female cast, the ass kickin’ Elaine Lui and my new Hong Kong crush, Nina Li Chi, wife of famed superstar Jet Li. It’s a ton of fun, with some Indiana Jones/Romancing the Stone flavor thrown in for extra good measure.

Deep in the rain forests of New Guinea, wildly aggressive natives attack a group of Asian treasure hunters. They go missing and soon a Hong Kong insurance investigator/girlfriend of the lead adventurer(Nina Li Chi) leaves for New Guinea along with his daughter, a martial arts superstar actor(Elaine Lui) to search the jungle on a mission to rescue her dad. However to navigate through the dangerous terrain they’re going to need a damn good guide, luckily they run in to the mysterious Christian missionary/martial arts master played by Fan Siu-wong.

However it’s not just wild animals and wicked terrain they’ve got to worry about, there’s a bigger threat in the jungle, a colorful gang of evil violent drug traffickers have teamed up deep in the jungle with the local tribes as thsir minions. Of course this wicked gang of outlaws are heavily armed & highly proficient in the martial arts and ready to take out anyone who comes anywhere near their operation.

The baddies are lead by “The Leopard”, a wild freaky martial arts bunny boiler babe portrayed Devi Sabah, a total on screen force to be reckoned with. She’ll fuck you up bad with her seriously killer form of martial arts and give you a solid scare with her wildly animalistic unpredictable persona. And no she’s not part of any jungle tribe!  But she’s easily one of the coolest villains I’ve seen in a Hong-Kong feature film and quite some time. Her right hand man is a cocky totally over the top 80s white dude, who you might expect to be full of hot air, but he also has got all the right kick ass moves as well as commanding the savage “stone age warriors” (nope seriously though no one is from the Stone Age in this movie). He’s got their undies all up in a bundle when the trio arrives on their rescue mission.

Add in a few more vicious mercenaries and you’re in some serious early 90s trouble with a big ass “capital T”. But hold your horses- things are even more dangerous from the get go for all who step foot in this jungle. Nina Li Chi & Elaine Luis square off against all the odds of nature here when they get separated from their guide and there’s some crazy stunt work the two pull off here (during the credits you get to see them in action). They slide down muddy trails, fall off of waterfalls, get swept away in the river rapids, get covered in scorpions and in the most frightening sequence are being chased by REAL Komodo dragons. If you know anything about them, you know how dangerous they are to be in such close vicinity too and this part of the movie is actually pretty terrifying.

Fan Sui-wong really shines here as well with his ridiculous physique and crazy ass martial arts on FULL display. There’s some super wild fight scenes here especially in the final 3rd of the film in trees, rickety bridges & helicopters, Fan gets to really shine in one of his best lead roles as he’s clearly a larger than life hero once again. It’s not just the boy’s club here though, Elaine Lui also get just as much martial arts action as well as she goes head on with The Leopard woman who’s badass enough to take on BOTH her AND Fan together. Stone Age Warriors is total blast with three charming leads, cool villains, plenty of “Indiana Jones” type shenanigans, wild for real dangerous animals, romance and crazy kung fu.

This one deserves an official fancied up blu ray from someone like Vinegar Syndrome as it really is a total forgotten gem. It also great to see Fan “Riki-oh” Sui-wong featured prominently in sweet action adventure extravaganza! I got this one for pretty cheap off eBay but the official dvd of it’s a pretty rough transfer (but worth the watch). BEWARE though It’s got those annoying subtitles that sometimes blend into the bottom of the film, still tho, highly recommended! 

 

RIP Marvel’s MODOK: The FINAL Nail in the MCU Coffin for Me!

 The Disney MCU just continues to think MODOK is so damn funny, but us comic book fans haven’t been laughing! You bet I’ve seen the latest take on MODOK from the new MCU ‘Ant-man: Quantumania’ and it’s worse than I’d ever imagined possible. They again blow the chance to make an awesome villain into “live action”. The MCU always had a problem in my opinion bringing classic villains from the comic books onto the big screen. However I’ve really never seen a more pathetic attempt than THIS. Perhaps things have gotten considerably worse in the “Disney” MCU phase? It certainly seems so to me. I’ve found myself over the last couple years being less and less engaged in the whole shebang. I haven’t seen the last three theatrical releases and I’ve barely been able to make it through any of the Disney Plus streaming shows. Whatever the formula is, I’m no longer interested. This MODOK controversy seals the deal. The MCU………OVER IT! Let’s compare the MCU “MODOK” to the comic book version…

Why does everything in the MCU now seem like it’s some snarky joke? The problem is, whatever snarky comedy they once had has definitely worn out it’s welcome. Instead of giving us the truly classic and bizarre version of one of Marvel Comic’s most terrifying weirdo supervillains, we got another pathetic attempt at a joke.

MODOK could have been a vile, unsettling freak of a villain one that’s creepy and threatening and can instill true fear into characters like The Abomination and go one on one with The Hulk.

I’m so burnt out on this sort of factory filmmaking and pumped off the assembly line MCU / Disney Plus streaming “content”. But the funny thing is I never imagined MODOK would be the final nail in the coffin, at least for me.  It’s really strange to me as well because even more recently in the comic books they portrayed the character in quite a revolting, serious way as a real threatening villain. But of course recently they also decided at some point to make a ridiculous stop motion animation series about the character as well, further pushing the joke they seem to think it’s so funny that is MODOK. That’s another thing with the current MCU they think they are way more funny than they actually are in reality. Here below is  a more modern portrayal is totally on point and I wish they would’ve just stuck with something like this, but hey everything is now apparently a snarky super funny joke!

I’ll take my 80’s comic books for another re-read and call it a day!  

 

 

 

 

Movie Melt Podcast: The ONE Movie That Surely Inspired The MAGIC MIKE Trilogy!

Oh boy! Happy Valentine’s Day to all the lovers out there! Today we have a REAL treat for those looking for some spicy sexy action! I went back on the MOVIE MELT Podcast to record this special episode, ‘The Life and Loves of a Male Stripper’! Yeah this wild sexy musical “comedy” from 1987 is jam packed with beefcakes galore, bad acting, bad dancing, good dancing, babes, banana hammocks, 80s songs that should have been top 10 mega-hits, bad dancing, more bad dancing & then guess what? Yep even MORE BAD DANCING!

The male stripper here is quite a special guy, he can sorta dance and sorta sing and is irresistible to any woman (and likely any man) who sets eyes upon his “Adonis” like bod. The movie plays out more like a Playgirl male nude dance review than an actual cohesive film.

It features one of my new favorite pop songs-‘TAKE IT OFF’! If you’re in the mood for a good laugh, some ridiculous male dancing, 80s fashion galore and some forgotten retro pop songs that sound like a perfect mix of The Smiths & Oingo Boingo then The Life and Loves of a Male Stripper is going to seriously quench your Valentine’s Day thirst. 

Plus we talk about more movies you’ve just gotta check out, a sexy lover’s edition of Battle of the Bands! So much useless cinematic information to fill your brain and most important, complete coverage of the movie that likely inspired the ENTIRE Magic Mike trilogy!! CHECK OUT THE EPISODE RIGHT HERE!! IF you’re feeling real frisky you can also watch ‘The Life and Loves of a Male Stripper’ right here on YouTube: