Tagged: review

Movie Review: Crazy Christmas Twists & Turns in ‘Better Watch Out’!

 Deck the halls people! I checked out the new Christmas thriller / horror flick “Better Watch Out” last night as I was beginning to crave me some holiday themed mayhem! I really had no idea just what to expect, but had heard this one had a few twists and turns under it’s belt and of course I love creepy Christmas movies so why the hell not kick off the holiday season with a possible bang. ‘Better Watch Out’ is indeed an interesting movie, especially because it of it’s clever mind game it plays at it’s nasty core. More thriller than horror, with it’s fair share comedy and seemingly lighthearted holiday seasoned set up.

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Morrissey’s & The Smiths Humble Beginnings: ‘England Is Mine’…

I’ve been a huge fan of ‘The Smiths’ for sooo long and to say they are one of the most influential bands of the 80’s isn’t something that’s up for debate. So I was completely surprised to find that there’s a movie that chronicles the life of the band’s iconic and always controversial frontman, Morrissey. Old news? Not to me! I’ve always been a bit curious about what make this guy tick and I’ve got high hopes for this cool looking little flick. Even more so I love the idea of seeing how The Smiths actually came together as a band and the introduction of the Moz to co-founder Johnny Marr.

People have been clamoring for the band to get back together since the late 80’s so who knows maybe the release of this movie could fan the flames? Arriving right on time, as Morrissey who’s had a strong solo career, is readying the release of his latest album “Low In High School” and The Smiths equally influential guitarist Johnny Marr has also got a new album on the way. If you’re a fan of dreamy alt brit pop of the 1980’s then “England is Mine” could be right up your alley. However…

That being said from what I understand it seems the movie is set during the period before he joined The Smiths and apparently doesn’t feature any of the band’s music. Though I’m still gonna check it out it kinda makes you wonder why they even did a move at all without the music. Perhaps it didn’t get the band’s seal of approval? Big time bummer, but who knows it might still be interesting to see his humble beginnings.

Whatever the case it’s a shame the movie for whatever reason skips the rise and fall of the band, because at this point I can’t imagine someone will be making another movie about the life and times of The Moz…the movie is available online to rent and will have an official dvd release in December. I’ll check it out soon and post a review…anyone seen this already?

Forgotten Movie Gems: Operation Scorpio’s Kung Fu Comic Book Artist!

Hot Dayum! Here’s a rad ass kung fu movie I recently checked out that deserves some serious love yet remains all but forgotten by most here in the USA. If you dig comic books and kung fu I say you gotta take a moment to check out…

Operation Scorpio, aka The Scorpion King (1991)

 

This unique Hong Kong kung Fu movie from 1991 is barrel of zany fun. It’s jam packed with some truly stunning action and hyper-crazy early 1990’s Kung Fu mayhem!! This one’s got a ton of heart and a cool ass story about a comic book artist, Yu Shu, who’s got a wild ass imagination and spends his time daydreaming of being a real life superhero. It opens with a great sequence that perfectly sets the stage for the frantic charming martial arts extravaganza. His wild imagination gets the best of him when his ‘in class cartooning’ soon gets him expelled from medical school leaving him to help his Uncle’s buddy, Master Yat around his popular noodle restaurant. But Yu soon finds himself  fully wrapped up in the evil web of a criminal prostitution ring, when going out on a limb, he helps a woman escape from their stronghold late one evening while walking about town. Now the duo are on the run and take shelter hiding out in Master Yat’s noodle house, they’ll eventually find a lot more than noodle’s in his bustling restaurant. 

 

 

Shit gets pretty awesome as the movie constantly introduces us to a colorful cast of unique characters and the villain’s seemingly superhuman fighting abilities inspire our main character to take a stab at kung fu himself. He secretly heads off to local martial arts school that’s taught by one of the most bad ass, muscle bound kung fu experts I’ve ever seen in cinema. This dude rivals Bolo Yueng! The movie plays out a bit like a comic book version of “My Bodyguard” & “The Karate Kid” and it’s filled with comedy, romance and downright incredible martial arts sequences. Sonny, (The Scorpion King), the lanky villain of the movie, shows that size clearly doesn’t matter when it comes to superhuman kung fu and proves himself to be quite a cinematic threat to anyone who stands in his way. His “scorpion” style of fighting is a treat to see in action as well and one of the best action scenes is when Yu’s Hulking kung fu teacher decides to try and put an end to his problems himself. This truly epic and a bit of a heartbreaking confrontation is definitely not to be missed..

 

 

We’ve got a ton of cool shit going on in this one & one of the most entertainingly cheezy sequences of the movie involves the rigorous kung fu training endured by Yu as he masters martial arts through a full on noodle making work out. We’ve got some great twists and turns in the plot as well and just about everything in this movie is quirky enough to elevate this one to a level of it’s own in the ranks of late 80’s early 90’s martial arts movies. Cool sets, ultra colorful characters, superhuman kung fu, heart and unique little story drive this movie into territory I wasn’t even aware existed in the genre. Operation Scorpio, aka ‘The Scorpion King’ is a total treat for any comic book fan and it’s no wonder the flick was produced by the legendary Sammo Hung. It stands on it’s own and really deserves a lot more attention and notoriety for it’s pure charm and ultra endearing cheez factor it delivers. Seek this one out, as it really is a forgotten gem… 

 

 

Stranger Things: Please Use Practical Monster Effects!!

Stranger Things Season 2 finally dropped this Halloween and damn was it good! So much fun and such a total and complete trip down memory lane. The show plays off of the wonder filled nostalgia of the 80’s and almost perfectly captures the magic of movies like Poltergeist, E.T., The Goonies and The Lost Boys to name a few.

This show couldn’t possibly get any better at delivering the ever so sweet 1980’s cinematic magic could it?  Well I say it could do the job way better, after watching the second season it was apparent once again that this show could really up it’s game by ditching a lot of the shoddy CGI effects it uses for it’s monsters.

 

 

The show sure looks and feels like an 80’s Amblin flick, that is until they introduce us to the other worldly monsters. Then it quickly becomes very apparent it’s 2017 and that some questionable CG has entered my 80’s fantasy! So for season 3 of the show, I think they could do better, to really recreate that magic of old, it’s time for the show to incorporate practical creature effects! Puppetry, makeup, animatronics!

 

 

Imagine the creatures on the show if they had the feel of E.T., The Gremlins or Pumpkinhead?! The CG takes me out of the moment, the realism fades quickly and I imagine how much more effective the experience would really be if it just gave this tweak to say 75% of it’s fx work. That alone would give us the ultimate nostalgia trip, let’s face it, fans would go nuts for this and especially those who are real fans of the genre the show’s replicating. So help me spread this idea #strangerthings80sfx & Let’s demand that 80’s special effects magic be utilized for the next season!!!  They’ve come a long way with practical fx work and blending with CG or using CG to eliminate wires & puppeteers would take the show to a whole next level of 1980’s love….

 

Happy Halloween: The Top 10 ‘Human to Monster’ Movie Transformations!!!

Happpppy HALLOWEEN boys, ghouls and all freaks of nature!! It’s finally here that special day where all things creepy and spooky are considered the norm amongst all other average humans!! Well today we’re going the distance and going to take a look at one of my favorite topics of all time: MONSTERS!! Duh!

So today many will be transforming themselves into creepy creatures of the night and I want to compile the top ten movie “human to monster” transformations of all time!!! Let’s get on with this shit, in no particular order, it’s time to get gross people, because who doesn’t love seeing humans morph into creepy creatures especially on Halloween!!

10. The Howling (1981)

I just NEVER get sick of this awesome werewolf transformation in the Howling! It’s one of the best human to monster transitions of all time, I just love the fact that Dee Wallace watches the whole damn thing instead of getting the fuck outta dodge!! One of the best!

9. The Beast Within (1982)

Check this shit out, one of the best most bizarre transformations for sure! This time though we witness a troubled teenage transform into some sort of bug/human hybrid! Nasty for sure!! Goddamn do I love some good practical fx!!

 7. Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2007)

What a damn fine movie, I just can’t get enuff of this one, it’s got awesome practical old school monster fx and even features Robert Englund in one of his best (maybe the best?!) post Freddy movie roles. Better yet Englund transforms into a big ass monster that look’s like Chet’s brother from “Weird Science”!!

6. The Curse 2: The Bite (1989)

Damn I love this flick, it’s a sequel only in name to the ‘Will Wheaton’ movie “The Curse” from a couple years before. It’s a fun movie with some superb extra special fx and a finale that’s worth the wait of the often meandering story. If you’ve never seen this one maybe skip watching this here and just seek out the full movie, this sequence is most of it’s awesome finale…

 

5. Tales From The Dark Side: The Movie (1990)

The finale story to ‘Tales from the Dark Side: The Movie’ anthology is super awesome and features a totally memorable monster movie transformation! I still feel bad for the dude who didn’t keep his promise, things were just going so damn well in their relationship! Oh well no amount of counseling could have fixed this deep inner relationship issue! It had to come out at some point!

 4. The Company of Wolves (1984)

This rad and totally bizarre, sometimes forgotten gem of a werewolf movie, has several awesome transformations in it. However this one is my favorite. The snout out of the mouth is an awesome totally disgusting effect that still awes me every time. I’ve got to re-watch this one again SOON! This freaked me the fuck out as a kid…

 3. The Thing (1982)

Here’s a classic! The Norris transformation sequence in The Thing is one of the best most iconic moments in monster movie history! Like it needs any real introduction-here it is again in all it’s gory glory!

2. Black Sheep (2006)

I love this horror comedy and Weta Workshop did an incredible job giving us a totally memorable transformation sequence! The movie is filled with awesome practical fx work and I love the whole “weresheep angle”, if you’ve never seen this indie gem you better check it out asap-it delivers the goods and then some!!

1.An American Werewolf in London (1981)

Considered by most to be the greatest man to monster movie transformation of all time obviously this one needed to be on the list, so here it is one last time for any of you who’ve been living in a damn cave for the majority of your life! Ohhh the pain of it all!!!

 

Still haven’t had enuff? Me neither-here’s a few more I totally dig!!

Oh and Luke Skywalker as he transforms into a bug in the shitty “Guyver”…still damn cool tho!

Oh and Drew Barrymore’s crazy transformation in the underrated “Doppleganger”!! 

 God bless Youtube, Here’s a cool one from The Spookies from 1986~!

Cool one from Waxwork II: Lost in Time!

A great one from the criminally underrated 1987 monster extravaganza ‘The Kindred’!!

….and of course this WHOLE damn movie!!

The Top 10 Horror Flicks Actually Starring Rock Stars!! No Cameos!

Let’s face it folks, we all love a good Rock n’ Roll horror flick, especially during the halloween season! There are a lot of good ones out there and many of them feature small cameos from rock stars BUT there’s actually not that many that actually feature them in lead or substantial roles in these “terrifying” movies. I here at Universal Dork tho, have decided to give you the top 10 rock and roll horror movies that actually star real rock stars!! So let’s not waste anytime messin’ around and get to it! Less talk more ROCK!! Here are some odd movies that famous rockers decided to risk their careers on!!!

10. Nick Knight / AKA Midnight Cop (1989)

Hey you remember ‘Jesse’s Girl’ right? Yep, easily one o’ the best pop songs of the 80’s in my opinion! Well 80’s icon Rick Springfield also had an acting career as well and when he wasn’t appearing on General Hospital he made some cheezy ass movies, one being this horror flick called ‘Nick Knight’ aka ‘Midnight Cop’! Yep Springfield stars as the hunky vampire detective on the dangerous case of his undead life, this movie was later remade into the first couple episodes of  the tv series ‘Forever Knight’! Dig this stunning vampiric Rick-o-riffic movie montage!

 

9. Halloween Resurrection (2002)

Here’s one of the worst movies of the ‘Halloween’ franchise, it took the finale of H20 and made it into some stupid sort of ridiculous “Scooby Doo” style plot twist. However this one makes the list because we get some “rockstar action” with Busta Rhymes, one of the main characters in it who goes toe to toe with Michael Myers in the finale and fuckin’ wins! I dig that at least!

 

8. Monster Dog (1984)

Here’s an totally odd little Italian flick called ‘Monster Dog’ from 1984 that stars superstar rocker Alice Cooper in the lead role!! The movie honestly ain’t that good but it’s a must watch for anyone looking to see Alice in more than a freaky cameo. Monster Dog is a subpar 80’s werewolf film, it starts off pretty cool but quickly begins to feel a lot longer than it’s short 84 minute run time. It’s got a couple decent werewolf scenes, cool poster art and a totally sweet ass Cooper track called ‘Identity Crisis’ that makes this one at least worth a view! Fuck yeah!

 

7. Slaughterhouse Rock (1988)

Another odd 80’s movie with totally classic box art and co stars pop star Toni Basil who dominated the charts in 1982 with her mega hit song ‘Hey Mickey’. This one’s worth a watch for that alone and has a cool soundtrack “featuring” Devo. This follows some teenagers trying to remove a curse, travel to Alcatraz and get some help from a cute 80’s ghost played by Basil. The trailer below actually makes the movie look pretty rad, but it’s one of those “best of” moments trailers, so if you check it out you’ll likely be a bit disappointed with how bland the movie quickly becomes. Still worth a watch for the pure cheez factor it all and a cool dance scene by Basil!

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I’ve Officially Lost My Enthusiasm For ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’!!

Has anyone been checking out the latest season of ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’? Am I the only one who’s feels like this show has seriously lost it’s original charm? It’s been a while since we’ve seen ol’ Larry David in action (six years to be exact) and now he’s finally returned to get back into all those uncomfortable situations most people have similarly experienced at some point in our lives. Well after checking out the last few episodes of this new season, which I was pumped about, it’s clear Larry and Co. have ultimately lost the brilliant situational comedy the show’s most well known for. Every damn situation he gets himself into feels incredibly forced & too dang silly to really feel relatable to anymore. Most of all this new season so far feels A LOT like a parody of itself.

Curb’ feels like it’s lost it’s originality, now putting Larry into situations that unfold in the most predictable ways possible. From miles away you can see where every awkward moment is going end up. Whether he’s opening a pickle jar or grabbing cookies in a hotel lobby with his fingers rather than the tongs, it always advances the show’s plot to another unbelievable level. It’s maybe just gotten a bit too self aware for it’s own good? For me the past seasons for the most part, felt like Larry was existing in the real world and it made all of his antics that much more relatable. You’d feel like, you’d been there before and many times Mr. David would say the shit you’d wished you could, but were too afraid of suffering the consequences.

Now no matter where he goes he’s always got people who feel like they’re programmed to cause a stink over anything and everything the dude does. Like Portlandia some of these situations just drag on far too long now and a lot of the dialogue now feels like it was written by a fan of the show trying their best to make things as uncomfortable as humanly possible as much as possible. We’ve lost the realism that directly fueled the comedy and made everything that David said and did that much more cringeworthy & consequential. 

We get it, Larry is always saying and doing the wrong thing, but in the past it felt a bit like we were watching a real guy navigate through the real world. This season follows, in my opinion, a once brilliant formula a bit too by the numbers. In the past we’d never quite know when or why the shit was gonna hit the fan. Perhaps they’ve run out of ideas or perhaps now the landscape of things even in six years have changed so drastically that Larry’s just not relevant in the way he used to be. Whatever the case I had to make a quick rant, I still find aspects of the funny don’t get me wrong, this was one of my favorite comedies of all time, I’m gonna finish the season but dang do I miss Larry’s glory days…what do you think?