Tagged: 2023

‘THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE BARN’ Brings Norwegian Elves to the Xmas Party This Year!

Oh how I love those little guys from Norway-the trolls, the gnomes and in this case the ELVES! I was pretty excited for that reason alone to check out this new holiday horror comedy released this season. I’ll be the first to admit since the success of  2015’s excellent Christmas horror film ‘Krampus’ there’s been a heavy influx of pretty shitty films trying to cash in on the “holiday horror” buzz. A Christmas horror film just isn’t quite a special as it once used to be sadly. However every year I give em’ all a try anyway and ‘There’s Something in the Barn’ seemed somewhat promising. It’s setting alone had me intrigued as it’s actually filmed in Norway and as I said earlier features barn elves-though honestly I’d say they’re actually “Gnomes”.

However it did feel a bit familiar once I started the movie as last year there was a Danish Netflix holiday horror series called ‘Elves’ that I really quite enjoyed, that most definitely is worth watch but had a real similar, yet more tonally serious premise. ‘There’s Something in the Barn’ is really first and foremost a comedy and secondly a horror fantasy. 

I was drawn even more to checkin’ it out when I’d heard it also featured Martin Starr, everyones favorite nerd (Feaks & Geeks, Dead Snow 2) in the lead. I love that guy and the “fish out of water” setting for him and his family inheriting an amazing property with a big rustic lot and a creepy barn in a faraway land was all a big plus. So did it quench that holiday horror thirst? Well it’s definitely NO “Krampus”, but it’s quite a bit more fun than the average Christmas horror they’ve been pumping out the last almost 9 years.

The comedy here is pretty standard family stuff, it’s not a gut busting affair but really today is anything really that funny anymore? It plays the comedy pretty safe and straight as I think it could’ve benefitted far more with sharper script writing and probably the story in general to be honest. It’s a sort of mash-up of E.T. meets Gremlins, heavy on the holiday vibes, slight family drama and a finale that’s finally beefs up the horror.

There is indeed “something in the barn”, a cute lil’ Norwegian elf, that not unlike the Gremlins has some “rules” that need to be adhered to keep it happy. Of course this family of ninnies are as about as clueless as they come of course. There’s a young boy who befriends the gnome with some cookies and that’s about as deep as their “strong” friendship bond gets-I think they needed to explore their connection to really flesh out the story for it’s rather exciting finale. The characters in general are pretty paper thin sadly and really could’ve been developed in a way that’d made us care a bit more if they were victims of severely pissed off ravenous little barn elves.

So don’t go in expecting this to go too deep as it still tries to tug at the viewers hearts with not enough heart at it’s core. But enough about that, because we’re really all here for the elves right?! I’m happy to report that indeed the elves are pretty great, using real little people, great make up fx and some convincing Norwegian style to their look. Once the “friendship” ends between the family and the elf, things get pretty exhilarating for an action packed bloody battle with even some “political commentary” thrown in somehow.

There’s snowmobiles, explosions, caves, secret rooms, heavy drinkin’ and lots of cool lookin’ little maniacs who’re hellbent on fucking things up for the American family, who thinks that they can do whatever the hell they want on foreign soil. There are a couple scenes of excessively bad green screening going on here that sort of took me out of what was a pretty sweet final battle-making me wonder why they’d resort to a chintzy looking fx sequence rather than doing something more organic? Overall though this flick is definitely worth a watch this year, it’s pretty fun as long you’re not expecting the next “staple” holiday horror film and it’s got enough going on that it never drags. The setting of Norway during Christmas time is worth the price of admission alone-I’d say you could do MUCH worse this year than ‘There’s Something in the Barn’, do a double feature and watch this first with ‘Krampus’, ‘Gremlins’, ‘Violent Night’, Deadly Games’ or Rare Exports as the headliner!

 

Monster Puppets, Magic & Mystery: ONYX The FORTUITOUS & The TALISMAN of SOULS

I went into ‘ONYX The FORTUITOUS & The TALISMAN of SOULS’ not knowing much of what to expect except that it apparently had Barbara Crampton and Jeffrey Combs in it, which I assumed would likely be small cameos. However this new horror comedy was a breath of fresh air and though it did only feature Crampton in a cameo, Combs was a major player here as the movie’s sinister villain. Better yet the film’s jam packed with some really sharp comedy, mainly from the film’s writer, director, editor and star of the film Andrew Bowser who plays the severely socially awkward character Marcus (but he prefers to be called Onyx the Fortuitous). Marcus lives with his mom, works at a fast-food burger joint and gets zero respect from anyone.

He’s quite a strange character who’s brand of humor is likely to divide audiences-luckily I thought he was pretty entertaining but I can see how he could be a bit too much for certain people to endure. Almost like fast talking “Napoleon Dynamite” whose mannerisms sorta have to be seen to be fully embraced. Apparently Andrew Bowser has been doing the character on Youtube for a while now and this is his feature film debut.

Anyway Marcus’ life has reached an all time low when it’s apparent he’s got no real friends or meaningful relationships that is until he wins a contest to a weekend stay at a creepy mansion hosted by his favorite online Satanic occult personality “Bartok the Great” and his sexy assistant Farrah. There he meets a cast off oddball characters who’ve also won this odd vacation opportunity. However they get much more than they bargained for when they realize all is not as it seems and there’s a much more sinister plan afoot that catapults  them into bizarre mystery leaving them trapped inside the stronghold. The best thing about this weird little horror comedy are the uniquely ridiculous characters we follow. As Marcus, who convinces the rest of the crew to call him “Onyx” isn’t strange enough he’s joined by a solid supporting cast.

Jeffrey Combs delivers the goods here too, he’s not phoning it in and we all know when he’s on top of his game he’s a cinematic genius to behold. The film’s cast really pushes this one along at a brisk pace with plenty of heart and intrigue-but there’s more for old school horror fans. The special fx here also take center stage with some truly impressive creatures that are brought to life via some incredible puppetry and animatronics. This one would make even Jim Henson’s Creature Shop a bit jealous I think. Minimal CGI here is greatly appreciated and it shows just how special a production can feel when filled with creations that are actually on set.

That all being said I wish that they’d have gotten a bit more screen time, most of the stunning puppetry is contained to one key sequence. The trailer does make it look a little more fully loaded with monsters, still maybe less is more in this case and the movie might’ve benefitted more from the way it’s characters, at the end of the day, shine more than any crazy gore or bloodthirsty creatures. This one’s comedy which I think is pretty razor sharp for the most parts (aside from maybe getting a little too cutesy at the finale) is really the main attraction. But that doesn’t mean the film doesn’t look great-it’s got the spooky atmosphere nailed down but could’ve utilized the set pieces a bit more to really push the adventure to the next level. All in all though this one was a real delight and a bonafide vanity project from Andrew Bowser that’s bound to end up a modern day cult classic.

It’s got the FX, the humor, colorful characters, mystery, totally excellent puppet monsters and just the right amount of heart to give it some emotional weight. Check this one out if you’re looking for something a bit different-hopefully you’ll find Andrew’s character “Onyx” as hilarious as I did-that being said-you’ve been WARNED!!

Afraid of CGI Grey Aliens? If So ‘NO ONE WILL SAVE YOU’ Delivers the GOODS!

HULU finally brings me a grey alien home invasion horror film I’ve asking for-‘No One Will Save You’ delivers a simple premise with some fairly well executed drama but also manages to take the terrifying silent “greys” of movies like ‘Communion’ & ‘Fire in the Sky’ and turns them into loud rubbery CGI lunatics. Yeah these modern UFO films or all films in general now tbh) just can’t resist going digital and at times these creatures end up feeling more “Roger Rabbit” than ‘Close Encounters of the Third Kind’. I’ve been saying it for years someone should make a home invasion film with “the greys”, I’d always found them quite terrifying and it’d be really a unique premise to see them pursue a human in a secluded home.

Well this movie grants me my wish but makes a mistake, one that just can’t be avoided today it seems-heavy reliance on shoddy looking CGI fx. Last year we saw a practical effects alien attack film in ‘Kids vs Aliens’, which used practical fx but dropped the ball in the approach, like this, showing the aliens far too much in plain sight. Maybe I’m the only one here, but to me being chased down by CGI creatures just doesn’t strike terror in my heart. I need to feel that there is a real threat there onscreen WITH the actual actors-it really needs to feel convincing. The aliens in ‘Fire in the Sky’ are pure perfection, I can only imagine them invading a home, but for some reason Hollywood just doesn’t have either the skill or patience to film real monster effects anymore. That all being said ‘No One Will Save You’ is still somewhat entertaining and filled with a few twists and turns. There’s several styles of aliens too that enter the mix-two of them particularly look awkwardly cartoonish and some of the chase/fight sequences get a bit too ridiculous and cartoonishly rambunctious at times. But, there is a neat little story here at play despite all of my visual gripes that make this worth a look.

There’s a GREAT setting for all of this to take place, a beautiful little home tucked away in the countryside and it really doesn’t take long for the Aliens to arrive and get “nasty”. Kaitlyn Dever does a good job in the lead with almost no spoken dialogue and does her best trying to look scared shitless by CGI creatures. It’s definitely not the best alien invasion film I’ve seen before and works better honestly as drama than a “horror” film. There’s some decent attempts at deep character development/motivation as a young woman lives in seclusion by choice and we go on a journey to put together exactly why she’s struggling so much with every day life. The film by the end takes some turns I didn’t see really see coming-mostly in the film’s last final couple minutes. It’s got a message that’s worth some discussion and likely could be interpreted in several ways.

It’s pretty decent streaming content but nothing that’s anywhere near as effective or memorable as Communion, Fire in the Sky or even Dark Skies from 2013. I was pretty excited for my grey alien fix but I feel film now just isn’t capable of going the distance-I’m not even sure many of these modern directors could execute a film like E.T. these days without relying largely on digital fx. I think they could have given us some terrifying creatures using animatronics, like a lanky marionette and used CG to remove wires, strings and puppeteers. Also keeping a creature like a grey in the shadows is when they feel most terrifying-instead this film has them running and jumping all over the place in plain sight. Their design is far too digital to showcase so prominently. Instead the less is more approach makes them much more mysterious and terrifying. This pic from Fire in the Sky is a good example:

The craft of executing a real shot on real film feels like a true thing of the past. This one’s worth a watch, I don’t expect too much anyways from an original film for HULU. I say check it out if you’re looking for some classic alien action and if you’re REAAAALLLY scared of CGI monsters this movie will NOT disappoint.

 

DYLAN’S NEW NIGHTMARE: Freddy Krueger’s SORTA Back!!

Have you been hoping for Freddy Krueger to return in the same way that Michael Myers has in the latest “Halloween” trilogy? Me neither-But I’m always open to check out a sweet new fan film! From some director Cecil Laird and the same team who brought the excellent ‘Never Hike Alone’ (Friday The 13th) fan film has returned, adding a new chapter to the ‘New Nightmare’ chapter of ‘A Nightmare on Elm St’ franchise. I gave this a whirl the other night and was pretty impressed with this 34 minute short film.

We continue with Dylan, the son Heather Langencamp (Nancy) from Wes Craven’s ‘New Nightmare’, is now an aspiring actor trying to land a role in the next “Hatchet” film when his audition goes off the rails when Freddy shows back up to begin terrorizing him! To keep it extra authentic Miko Hughes returns in the role of Dylan, now all grown up and ready to face a newer nightmare. So this alone is a real treat that keeps the thread of terror grounded firmly in the franchise-a real nice touch. But what about the real star of the show, Mr. Freddy Krueger himself? Obviously we don’t get Robert England back, I’d for a moment hoped they’d have gotten him at the very least for the voice because Freddy here looks pretty great for the most part (his caved in sunken black eyes are a bit much tho). Dave McRae has some big boots to fill here and though he isn’t always the spitting image of the classic Freddy he does a decent enough job in the role, one that’s evident here, is near impossible to fill.

What we get though is a pretty ambitious little “new” chapter here that highly improves on the imperfections of the wretched remake from 2010. Freddy feels much more like his old self, armed with his campy one-liners with the vibe more in line with the original franchise, with a few moments of practical fx gore to chomp on. It looks pretty good for the most part, it does feel a little fan film-ish and maybe needed a few better locations and amped up  dreamy atmosphere to real hit the point home for die hard Fred Heads. I also think this short film could’ve really benefitted from a more inventive sequence to end the film, one of the best things about Freddy in the movies are the totally memorable horror sequences, things like the roach motel, the pizza with the Freddy faces etc are a staple in the classic franchise-this could have based it’s somewhat lackluster “finale” instead on an more inventive horror sequence reminiscent of the classic franchise to really up the ante and quench that Elm Street thirst. Still it’s a neat little fan film that is worth a watch for the fans as we all obviously yearn for more Freddy.

I’d say it’s time for one final Englund Freddy flick. Though he’s recently stated he’s in no shape to reprise the role, he’s 75 and (thicker around the waist) I still think he could make it work as is. Perhaps it’s been too long in the dream realm and as Freddy’s been out of the psyche of all of the teens he once scared to death, he’s older, much less powerful now and slowly dying off, but he get’s one last chance perhaps being aided by some sort of dream demon apprentice who brings his power back and in turn is willing to continue on his legacy-there we could explore the actual lore that made Freddy into the legendary dream demon. A final showdown with him and his apprentice when Nancy realizes his power is returning-she must enter the dream realm to finish him off before he reaches full power.

Who knows “older Englund Freddy” could even possess Kevin Bacon (as a new character and rumored to have real interest in taking over the role) in the real world, transform him into the new version of Krueger-they could even utilize Robert’s voice when he’s possessed? Just ideas-but likely Hollywood just wants a new Freddy Krueger cast to try and make some $$$ rather than an inventive “one last hurrah”, working a story that caters to Robert Englund’s age. In the meantime though this is a good enough fan film to keep the spirit of Elm Street in the consciousness of teens of the modern age-If they could bring back Krueger there’s so many interesting modern tropes that Freddy could riff on-that being said it’s probably realistically time to leave the Elm Street legacy alone and let it age gracefully….

Check out Dylan’s New Nightmare to watch for free right HERE!

 

The Next Best Thing to The 1990 Practical FX TMNT!!?

Cowabunga dude!!! I’ve been saying it for years, they need to bring back the 1990’s practical fx Jim Henson Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!! Lets face the damn facts nothing they produced since has been very good or really anywhere close to what the fans want. I really haven’t been excited about the TMNT franchise since the first two films. 

Having recently revisited the 1990 original it was more than apparent how well that movie had aged and  how dark it really is in comparison to anything they’ve put out since. One of the best things about it was indeed the practical effects, but also the sets, choreography and real martial arts that were used to bring them to life on screen. We are now living in an age where no filmmaker seems to be ambitious enough to attempt to bring them back to life in the way that soooo many fans have wanted for so long. So what do you do when you’ve completely given up on the Turtles coming back in the way they did in that original film?

 I guess you just wait for a CGI animated version of the characters that might still deliver that original spirit and oddly that’s exactly what we got in these new 2 pieces of test footage put together by John Likens. This is incredibly interesting, when I first viewed it I was a bit perplexed, at first glance I almost thought these were new practical fx Turtles! I was a bit disappointed to find they were created via CGI, of course, it’s 2023-no one would ever film the Turtles with their real suits. Still tho, this footage is wildly impressive, so much so that I just might be willing to give a TMNT film another real go, check this out and let me know if I’m crazy?!

 Even though each of these 2 clips are only seconds song I can see the potential and as we’re never going to get real life actors playing the characters again this is clearly the best version of them I’ve seen since. Their look reminds me of the darker original comic books of the 80s blended with the 1990 cinematic TMNT.

I’d say give this guy a chance to work his magic, better yet how about a mix of practical fx Turtles AND cgi ala the magic of The original Jurassic Park?! I know it’d never happen Hollywood is clearly unable to wrap their head around filming real fx, with real stunts, clever real life choreography and real old school pyrotechnics. So this seems like the best we might get, but it also feels too much like something fans would like. These days it seems like Hollywood is unwilling to really give fans what they want.  I’m not sure quite why? I’m excited to see the remaining Turtles get the test footage treatment regarless….

The True Sequel, ‘The Exorcist III’ Ignored By New Trilogy?!

Pleeeeez ‘Pineapple Express’ bros just stop trying to make modern sequels to the classic horror films!! Why has this disturbing trend continued after the dumb dumb Halloween rehash disaster?! Who decided that David Gordon Greene and Danny Mcbride are somehow the new John Carpenter and Clive Barker? This trend is a bit bizarre, I thought when they announced the Halloween “H40” trilogy which ignored all of the lore except for the first film that something strange was afoot. I mean Green and Mcbride were certain that their modern trilogy, which started off as a remake of H20 that erased that iconic 90s showdown, was actually a better idea than Halloween II from 1980 as well, a truly beloved sequel. Obviously a bizarre money grab bringing back Jamie Lee Curtis (to pretend her final showdown in H20 never occurred) and that Halloween 2018 was actually some sort of “new” idea, they seemed successful in somehow fooling the masses into coming along on their imo pathetic trilogy.

Now they are back again-this time to make the “REAL” sequel to the Exorcist-one of the most iconic horror films of all time. Danny Mcbride has apparently penned the true sequel we always deserved! Here’s the new trailer, that erases the events of all of the sequels.

Meanwhile, I’m here to remind everyone that an amazing sequel already exists to the Exorcist, one that was written AND directed by William Peter Blatty who wrote the original story/book to the beloved 1973 film. Everyone who is about to be tricked into this “new legit” timeline from the Pineapple Express bros, I just want to remind you The Exorcist III is the real sequel you need to see/revisit. Don’t let these guys fool you again. Just make sure to completely skip The Exorcist II(1977), it’s one of the worst horror sequels out there, even though it does indeed bring back Linda Blair as Regan. Thankfully Blatty decided to bring the Exorcist back into the spotlight way back in 1990.

The movie, based on his 1983 novel ‘Legion’, is a horror at it’s best and ties to the original film in a very unique and inventive way. In the third installment we follow Lt. William Kinderman, Father Damian Karras as well as Father Dyer, all characters from the first film, who’s in the midst of a murder investigation that oddly resembles a bizarre case of his from fifteen years back. On the trail of a what he believes to be a serial killer, things begin to manifest similarities to the demonic events that occurred almost two decades ago during the original Exorcist. Kinderman begins to suspect there’s more than meets the eye going on as the murders pile up and this time comes face to face with literal demons from the past.

It’s also got a great cast with the likes of George C. Scott, Brad Dourif, Jason miller & Ed Flanders but most of all it’s really it’s own unique legitimate chapter to the Exorcist story. The film is a slow burn but also thick with dread and doesn’t skimp on the scare factor either.

Greene and McBride have stated this is a direct sequel to the first film, of course attempting to capture lightning in a bottle again, this time with two little girls possessed and a poster that attempts to cash in on Blair’s iconic appearance from the original. The trailer also utilizes the classic ‘Tubular Bells’ theme to make the connection to the franchise, but with the overload of factory made demonic possession films we’ve had to endure over the last 20 years this one could easily be lost in the “Blumhouse” if not merely for it’s attached franchise name.

Could this sequel top the third installment? It’s certainly possible, but judging from early reactions I’ve heard it didn’t exactly grip audiences. I’ll give it a shot, but my gut feeling is David Gordon Greene is no William Friedkin and Danny Mcbride is certainly no William Peter Blatty. What this has inspired me to do is pull out the original and follow it up with the third installment to get fully possessed by the brilliance of the real rich lore and again wonder why exactly the Pineapple Express bros think they can yet again craft a better sequel than the series’ creator….. 

Are Real Life Aliens Finally Invading Planet Earth in 2023?!

Yowza!! There’s been a surge of Alien/UFO related stories in the news lately, the big one right now is the whistleblower who claims the US Government is in possession of 13 alien crafts. Not to be an asshole or anything but we have basically known this for years, since Roswell-however people thought it was all “tinfoil hat” talk. It’s all a big conspiracy theory claims the mainstream media. But how long can a secret like this all really be kept from humanity?

I’ve been wondering just when the aliens are finally going to reveal themselves to the citizens of planet Earth and that may have just happened a couple days ago?! Certainly this is quite an interesting story, some think the events are purely coincidence but I’m hoping there’s something more extraordinary at hand here. Check out this news story from yesterday and let me know what YOU think is going on here:

I’m really liking the sound of things, 8-10 feet tall beings?! Sounds right up my alley, though I guess it’s easy to say if they’re not right outside my window in my back yard. Still, I can’t help but wonder why no one in this family grabbed their phone and filmed the gigantic beings?! I mean people film their breakfast, lunch and dinner and post it online so why would no one film the aliens and their vehicle that crashed in the back yard? Seems a bit suspect? I was hoping for a “Signs” moment captured on film here-but still, the story on it’s own is pretty intriguing I must admit. I’m keeping my eyes peeled in the skies and we’ll see just how courageous I am if I encounter some 10 foot tall creatures in the dead of night right? Well then there’s this story if you missed it:

What is with all of this alien/UFO/UAP talk the last few years? A bigger Gov’t agenda or the whole truth finally coming out? There’s been a lot of interesting ideas around as well these days about regular humans can actually contact and communicate with extraterrestrials, one of the most interesting practices is the CE5 protocol which uses meditation to make direct contact. I’ve tried it and though I wasn’t successful it sure was a fun thing to do on a camping trip.

I’m hoping in my lifetime we’ll make a breakthrough as humans and connect with another species of beings from another world. It’s time for the planet to get a serious wake up call-and I think that the reveal of a new more intelligent life form could possibly put humans on a more interesting path than scrolling on Instagram or Tik Tok for most of out waking hours. Let’s look to the sky and take a break from our phone addiction-we may be missing the bigger picture unfolding right in front of us… 

New Vintage 35mm Practical FX Horror Fantasy: Moon Garden!

I’ve been thinking lately while watching lots of movies from the 1980s about how much I really miss the feel of movies using practical effects, shot on real film, at real locations & on real sets. Let’s face it, even if you just love, say, Marvel movies, you’ve got to be able to admit that they can feel a bit soulless, jam packed with an overabundance of CGI, green screening & basically are void of any real life stunt work. I mean they even CG costumes on people. I’ve been thinking about how interesting it’d be if modern filmmakers would set out to make a fantastical film either in the horror, sci-fi, superhero genre and choose to not use ANY technology past 1990. A real bonafide, old school, hands on MOVIE. 

Well I’ve probably gotten my wish, or at least something very close to it. The upcoming horror fantasy ‘Moon Garden’ appears to be going for the gold here, first being shot on expired 35mm film, which apparently can create some interesting and unexpected results. A bold move I think, secondly utilizing practical effects like puppetry, animatronics and stop motion animation. The trailer looks pretty incredible!

The premise is simple, a little girl has quite a troubling family life. One evening we find her running away from her arguing parents, she trips, falls down hard and as a result descends into a deep, dark coma. She awakens in a strange new place, more akin to a waking nightmare. She begins a journey through a sinister world where bizarre creatures are lurking around every corner.

The little girl goes on an adventure to carefully make her way back to consciousness armed only with a radio. This brought to mind an underrated Australian film from 1988 called ‘Paperhouse’, ‘The City of Lost Children’ and obviously the more popular ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’. All have a surreal, dreamlike quality to them and Moon Garden at first look appears to be in the same realm. This looks like something special and it’s Coming sometime this year- Check this out!

KIDS vs. ALIENS: If “Goosebumps” was Rated R!

I’ve been looking forward to Jason Eisener’s ‘Kid’s vs. Aliens’ since I heard the ‘Hobo With a Shotgun’ director was making a feature length film based on his awesome short horror segment in V/H/S/ 2. Granted it’s been a long time since I’ve seen it, I remember really digging the concept and execution of it.

The simple premise of this movie is so right up my alley it feels like it almost was tailor made just for me. In a nutshell some kids have a Halloween party that goes off the rails when evil aliens descend upon their lakeside household. The alien visitors for the most part resemble our traditional “Greys”, which I find to be one of the most terrifying creatures of the more modern era. I guess though they’d be more in line with what we saw in 2014’s ‘Extraterrestrial’ though (minus the CGI) than say the brilliantly bizarre 1989 Whitley Strieber biopic ‘Communion’. That being said, you’ve gotta admire how ambitious this movie is with all of its practical effects work and not a shred of CGI really anywhere to be found. Add in a lean run time of around 75 minutes (68 of them actual movie time) and you’ve got a nice, fast paced horror adventure at the ready. 

Plus the main kid protagonists of this movie are also quite charming for the most part. None of them get bogged down in modern online politics or social commentary, they’re just kids in danger with wildly filthy mouths being….kids. In essence they’re a fairly solid attempt of mixing the kids in Stand By Me with The Goonies. I’d say for the first 3rd of the movie I was pretty sure this might end up being one of my favorite horror films of 2023. It’s got a lot of heart at its core as well (maybe trying a bit too hard at times) and characters who you can for the most part get behind on this weird little ride.

However with ALL of that going for it, still there’s something here that in my opinion just didn’t quite click the way it should’ve. That’s not to say this isn’t a fun little movie, becuz it is. It just misses the mark at being a modern horror classic, maybe because they’re trying just a bit too hard at mostly everything they attempt to sell the audience. It’s same problems I had at times with 2013’s ‘Knights of Badassdom’ a movie which I do admittedly still enjoy quite a bit.

I guess I would say what it does succeed at being is a pretty excellent R-rated “Goosebumps” movie. In many ways, even the way it’s filmed looks a little bit like a vintage Goosebumps episode for better or for worse at times. I guess my problem was maybe my personal expectations weren’t quite met in the way I’d initially hoped for. Though this movie in many ways borrows heavily from the likes of classics like Fire In The Sky, it really lacks the intensity, atmosphere and mystery that could have pulled from it, even if just a little bit of it. The aliens In my opinion are shown way too much in plain sight. All of the things that make grey aliens so terrifying is completely absent here, they run around roaring like enraged grizzly bears. 

The aliens also look a bit too much like men in rubber suits, which I usually don’t mind, but easily hiding them a bit more might have benefited this greatly. More of the monsters isn’t always better. Overall though I do appreciate the almost entirely practical nature of this film’s special effects. It’s refreshing to see filmmakers getting a bit more old school these days!

Though the characters for the most part are fun wonky children, they do try a bit too hard to sell us that on all levels. Much of the character development feels a bit forced. The kids and their antagonist teen enemies end up being somewhat over the top caricatures and don’t always feel like “real’ people. The kids are NERDS, the older teen sister-hero is a NERD and the teens are really reeeeally meanies who don’t like NERDS. By the middle of the movie I found myself wishing their personas had been toned down. They started to feel like they were written by the “modern day Kevin Smith” or something. Ok, well maybe not that bad. Instead of growing to like them more as the movie progressed, I found myself becoming slightly annoyed with everyone’s behaviors and actions even if they were good in nature. 

Looking at it now though with zero expectations, it’s still one I do plan on revisiting again. It’s got plenty of action and really does try to feature a cast of heartwarming lead characters and pathetically almost unbelievably evil teen villains to you are basically told to hate anytime they appear. It also takes place on Halloween and makes it prime viewing for the holiday. There’s a lot of good here so don’t get me wrong, I just feel like someone needs to put together an amazing home invasion Grey alien horror film and do it the right way. In the perfect world I was hoping this would be a mix of 1989’s Communion and maybe like Evil Dead. (here’s a still photo  from Communion).

Instead it leans hard into the campy territory and doesn’t skimp on some impressive Gore FX either. Perhaps it’s really my own expectations that took this down a few pegs for myself, with all the crappy stuff out there streaming I do think there’s a lot of fun to be had. Check this one out, it’s worth a rental, but don’t go in expecting it to be quite as cool as his segment was in V/H/S 2. Still thank you Jason for adding an entertaining alien invasion flick to the cinematic horror library!

 

 

 

‘Evil Dead Rise’ Trailer Feels Like a ‘Conjuring’ Spin-off?!

There’s a lot of hype lately around the return of the “EVIL DEAD” franchise with Evil Dead Rise and personally I’m just not feeling the heat so far. Sure it’s kinda neat to see the classic Necronomicon book again onscreen, but at least in the trailer, that’s about the only thing that’s feeling “Evil Dead” about the whole affair in my opinion.

When I saw the poster, the first thing that came to mind wasn’t the classic franchise, it really looked eerily similar to the 2022 horror film “SMILE’. For a moment I thought it WAS perhaps a SMILE spin-off being announced.

In fact if you took out the Necronomicon from the trailer I’d have honestly thought this film was a James Wan produced spin-off sequel set in his “Conjuring” universe. Or like a sequel to ‘The Exorcism of Emily Rose’ or something. And don’t get me wrong, I like James Wan’s movies but Evil Dead Rises doesn’t do anything at least in the trailer to separate itself from the current horror trends-and why would it? It looks like another Blumhouse film (maybe it is?) and to me seems almost like a pointless franchise reboot that’ll probably be forgotten fast in a sea of 2023 similarly stylized corporate Hollywood horror films. Where’s the flavor of the original films?

I often wonder if Hollywood is even capable of making a movie that looks and feels like something like the original Evil Dead films? Everything looks too slick, I think someone needs to step in and dial things back, legions of fans would truly flip out if they could replicate the real atmosphere of the the originals, this ain’t it. That’s not to say I won’t eat my words, perhaps Evil Dead Rise will be the BEST of all Evil Dead films?

I think fans deserve something different if you’re really going for an honest attempt to revitalize Evil Dead. I’d rather have a movie sequel to ‘Ash vs Evil Dead’ Season 3 personally. I’d much rather have a sequel in tone to Evil Dead 2 or Army of Darkness, that feels really like part of the old franchise. It could even be more in tone with the 1981 OG film, set in the 80s with more of a classic look?

Or follow Pablo and Kelly from Ash vs Evil Dead if we really want to steer clear of Ash. I think there’s likely a much better way to transition Evil Dead back onto the big screen and so far this seems like a mis-step.

I’m going to see it and I hope I’m proved wrong but it all just looks and feels too familiar to the modern horror films of the last few years. I like modern horror, but if you’re going to try to bust out a classic franchise again you’ve got to capture what made it so special to begin with…