Category: childhood nostalgia

SUBURBAN COMMANDO (1991) is the GREATEST Hulk Hogan Film EVER?!

Greetings to all you lilted Hulkamaniacs!! We’ve got a brand new episode of Universal Dork on YouTube up now & today we’re covering 1991 Sci-Fi action comedy family friendly-ish cult classic starring Hulk Hogan, Christopher Lloyd, The Undertaker and Shelley Duvall: muthafukin’ SUBURBAN COMMANDO!!!

We just knew  that you didn’t get enough of Hulk Hogan’s sexy-ass bod with the last episode of NO HOLDS BARRED (1989) so we decided to go even deeper into Hogan’s Movie career with this awesome under appreciated buddy comedy. You get some slapstick comedy, some intergalactic space battles, mime abuse, a pretty rad looking alien monster for Hogan to fight as well as a debatable brawl with The Undertaker and so much more! Check it out right HERE:

Comic Cover of the Week: Totally 80s HEAVY Metal Marvel!

The NEW Defenders were a pretty awesome era of the team with a totally sweet line up and one of the team’s best member’s GARGOYLE! I say that here we have one of Marvel’s most METAL covers, 1984’s issue #136. We see a wild sort of thrash metal style satanic themed masterpiece featuring a pentagram glowing while Gargoyle’s brain fries! What a great simple but utterly breathtaking cover by Frank Cirocco that could have been easily used by a band like Slayer in the 80s!!


U-Dork Youtube Channel Drops FIRST Episode: 1989’s ‘NO HOLDS BARRED’ w/ Hulk Hogan!

The day has finally arrived in celebration of 15 damn YEARS of Universal Dork, I’ve decided to create an officical U-Dork YouTube channel! Oh yeeeeah, party time has begun! I’ve teamed up with one of the original blog collaborators, James Hall & our very first episode has officially dropped. Here we cover the 1989 classic wrestling/action/drama hybrid ‘NO HOLDS BARRED’ starring none other than Hulk Hogan!!

We also chat about VHS collecting at the Goodwill Bins and a lot of useless cinematic garbage centered around 80s pro “Wrasslin”. But we also pose the deeper question…. is Hulk Hogan HOT?! Let us know what YOU think and make sure to check this one out and feel free to subscribe because we’re going to be making more videos in the near future!

 

Comic Book Cover of the Week: New Years Brings…JUDGE DEATH!

40 years ago in January this amazing cover hit the stands, Judge Dredd #3 is a heavy hitter and features the always brilliant artwork of Brian “The Killing Joke” Bolland! This guy never disappoints and I’d say he’s EASILY crafted some of the sweetest covers of all time.

Judge Death also is obviously such a cool looking villain and he’s never looked more freakin’ evil than right here. It’s one of my favorites and hopefully someday we get a film that captures the Judge and his nemesis in the vein of these classic adventures. This issue is so cool that you get EVEN more of Judge Death on the back cover as well-here’s to 2024!


 

 

 

 

U-Dork MUST See Holiday Viewing: 1985’s ‘MONSTER’S IN MY ROOM’ w/ Seth Green?!

I just had a revelation: One of my long lost favorite episodes of ‘Tales from the Darkside’ is actually a Christmas themed horror story! Yeah, the legendary 1980s horror tv series created by icon George Romero is easily one of the best of all time, like any anthology series there are some misses among it’s three seasons but when they hit they’re some of the best. Originally planned as a ‘Creepshow’ sequel tv series, but renamed ‘Tales from the Darkside’ due to rights issues. Many of these episodes are just as good or better than what we got in the first two installments of the original two ‘Creepshow’ movies. So now that we’re back in the holiday season I’ve began some deep diving into forgotten xmas themed horror once again! 

I hadn’t seen the 1985 episode ‘Monsters In My Room’ from the second season likely since the 80’s, however I never really forgot it. I just recently got the second season collection of the show on DVD and realized that Seth Green was the star of the episode AND that it also takes place on Christmas! A favorite of mine and a holiday horror treat I could appreciate all over again. The series already has two great Christmas themed episodes-and if you combined all three of these with a holiday wraparound it’s be akin to a real
“Creepshow Holiday anthology” flick-eons better than their 2020 special ‘Shapeshifters Anonymous’. The episodes you need to check out, if you’re looking for real 80’s Xmas horror are ‘The Yattering & Jack’, ‘Seasons of Belief’ & this episode ‘Monsters In My Room’.

We get a super creepy little tale that takes place at Christmas time were Seth Green is terrorized by creatures who live in his room and “come out to play” during the holiday. To make matters worse Seth’s  new stepdad “Biff” is a total dick and is obsessed with “making a man” out of little Seth Green on Christmas Eve. When the monsters materialize in the form of an ogre, a huge saw blade, a tentacled monster beneath his bed and a wild wicked witch he naturally goes to his parents to let them know what he’s seen. But of course NO one believes him-especially not Biff who thinks he’s being a coward.

Things take a dark twist though as the “tuff guy sailor” Biff gets wasted one night and enters Seth’s room, singing him old school sailor anthems-one of the things that always seemed to stick with me was his ridiculous drunken singing where he performs: “what do you do with a yellow belly sailor? Shave his belly with a rusty razor” like a total buffoon. I love this episode, I think it’s one of the quintessential of the series, it’s got the holiday vibes all over it and a gang of super cool looking monsters, as well as some really well executed genuinely creepy sequences. Plus little kid Seth Green is awesome here and around this same time appeared in the ‘Amazing Stories’ episode ‘The Sitter’ a total gem of the series and horror themed as well.

So yeah check out THIS episode this year and if you by chance haven’t seen the other two Christmas themed ‘Tales from the Darkside’ episodes you’ve got to watch all three in ONE sitting, like a long lost 80’s Holiday “Creepshow” anthology film-a true trio of Xmas terror! 

Watch the whole thing on Dailymotion!

Comic Cover of the week: Web of Spider-man #8!

Back in the day ‘Web of Spider-Man’ was one of my favorites of the webheads many titles at the time. Particularly because I found that this series had some of his best comic book covers and Of course I was a giant fan of the wildly controversial black Spider-man costume. Looking back at it it’s aged like fine wine And it always looked super bad ass on covers with overly simplistic design proving again that less is sometimes indeed more. Covers like this make me really miss the comic books of the 1980s, artist Geof Isherwood created an iconic cover from an amazing era….

 

Movie Review: Tom Delonge Reveals the “Alien Conspiracy” in MONSTERS OF CALIFORNIA?

I took a chance the other night out of sheer boredom and stopped by the Redbox kiosk at the grocery store to give Blink 182’s Tom Delonge’s first directorial effort a shot-MONSTERS OF CALIFORNIA. I’ve been a bit curious about this for a while now, specifically curious about just what the hell Tom’s agenda is these days as he’s hooked up with Government officials apparently to slowly reveal the “alien agenda” softly to the public. He’s been a BIG alien buff for quite sometime and of course I can totally respect his efforts. But as he’s been hangin’ with the gov’t big wigs I became even more curious just how much he can really be trusted to deliver the truth?

Well here we likely get a glimpse into the thing perhaps he’s trying to reveal in his first “To The Stars Academy” film. I think his heart is sort of in the right place movie wise-trying to put together a of Gov’t conspiracy type of film that appears to be inspired by himself and likely his Blink bandmates. He goes hard with the 90’s/early 2000’s humor which frankly didn’t surprise me one bit some of it lands and well some fall as flat as a Blink B-side. Trying here to not be too PC, we get an onslaught of dick jokes and “I wanna bang your mom and you sister” type of ‘Enema of the State” style stoner humor that sometimes hits but mostly feels a bit generic and safe. Still though he tries his best to create characters and situations that you might feel lifted from an old 80s Spielberg flick as you get three teen dudes who’re obsessed with the paranormal. They spend much of their time trying to prove the existence of ghosts, aliens, the afterlife and yes of course Sasquatch.

Throw in some generic teen “romance and family drama for good measure and you get a sort of “by the books” supernatural adventure that feels oddly familiar. The characters are likable enough, but the only one who really gets any real depth is our lead played by Jack Samson, who in the movie is severely depressed at the disappearance (death?) of his father. His dad was apparently involved in some top secret shit that involved government secrets into the supernatural realm of thing like cryptids and flying saucers. The kid and his friends discover some classified coordinates to paranormal “hot spots” setting out on an adventure to expose the truth and also get to the bottom of the kid’s missing dad. However the Government isn’t too happy with the teens meddling into these top secret affairs and soon it’s a race against time for survival as things quickly spiral out of control.

I think Monsters of California is good watch if you’re looking for something fun at the Safeway Redbox. Tom Delonge tries his best to craft a quirky adventure, some of it works and some of it feels a bit too ham-fisted at times. The special fx are for the most part pretty decent too, aside from the CG ghost the teens encounter, which I think they shouldn’t have shown at all. One of the main problems here is the full reveal of supernatural entities being “real” within the first few minutes sort of spoils the fun. That being said, there’s actually a pretty cool looking Bigfoot that employs some sweet practical fx and a few solid laughs. The movie in general looks pretty great and it’s definitely not a bad effort at all for Delonge. It’s just a bit too timid and doesn’t bring anything new to the table, staying too firmly within boundaries that probably needed to be pushed a bit to make this a memorable cinematic experience. This is first and foremost a comedy but I can’t help but feel as if Delonge is trying to send us some sort of “message” here as to what he’s been privy to with his real life government connections.

It’s really anyones guess, but the movie clearly has a strong narrative and I do wonder if what we’re shown here is at least a vague idea of what he thinks is really going on with all of these UFO or now “UAP” sightings. Personally I believe Tom might’ve been purposely given dis-information from the Government about the alien phenomenon to spread to the public-time will tell I suppose. However maybe he does really know something we don’t and I guess ‘Monsters of California’ likely gives us a glimpse of what Delonge thinks is happening. I’d say this is worth a watch if you’re hanging around a Redbox, but don’t go too far out of your way to watch it-as it’s a fairly familiar, slightly generic foray into the mind of Tom Delonge and the alien conspiracy….

Comic Cover of the Week: Moonstone Messes Up The Jade Giant!

Moonstone’s one of my favorite female baddie’s and has been one of the coolest of  The Incredible Hulk’s rogue gallery since way in 1978, when she first appeared in this totally rad issue! This particular comic was one of my favorites as a kid-and the fact that she could go toe to toe with the Jade Giant solidified her in my book as one of the most power female villains in Marvel comics! I always wanted to see her take on She-Hulk because as a kid it was rare to see female villains that could mess of the  Hulk. This is such a great cover too, showcasing why Herb Trimpe and Bob Mcleod could get the job done for a smashing cover that is reminiscent of the powerful “Sal Buscema punch”-such a classic cover, it really makes me miss a good old fashioned  Hulk adventure!! 

The BOY’S NIGHT OUT Trailer & STRANGE TAPES Strange Show!!

We’re getting ready to release THE BOY’S NIGHT OUT soon, a 1989 no budget- supernatural horror- slasher film I made way back when with my friends that I recently finally edited into a more “cohesive story” with all of the raw footage-It only took 34 years!! Filmed back in my native state of Wisconsin, the movie was shot in and around The Fox Valley and features cheese-head horror the way it was meant to be-80s style!!

It will be a co-release of my new VHS label ‘Hollywood Babylon Home Video’ and the super cool ‘Black VVideo‘, who has several awesome releases under her belt already. She appeared on The ‘Strange Tapes Strange Show’ just a few days ago to chat about The Boy’s Night Out and more releases COMING SOON! Check this shit out:

Here’s what the hell this little flick is all about:‘ The Boys Night Out’ follows a gang of mischievous highschool bullies whose plans to “eliminate” two nerds during the final weekend of summer takes a dark unexpected turn when the deeds turn deadly. One is brought to a secluded rock quarry where a chemical spill has poisoned the pond waters and the other is left for dead in a local “haunted forest” were ghostly whispers of evil have been rumoured for decades.

Can these misguided teenage miscreants survive to see their junior year of high school begin on Monday? Or will they fall prey to the vengeful supernatural forces they’ve somehow awoken? It’s anyone’s guess in this coming of age tale of betrayal, murder, retribution and most of all horror- Straight out of the late ’80s from “America’s Dairyland”. The lost SOV film from the Fox Valley gets it most frightening revival, rescued from out of VHS obscurity! Here without further ado is the brand spankin’ new official trailer!

There you have it-a time Midwestern time capsule, that is not only a shot on video horror relic but also a look into life way back in 1989 Wisconsin! More details coming soon, but in the meantime get your VCR out of the attic-because The Boy’s Night Out is headed your way on VHS!!!

 

MOVIE MELT Podcast: Sensei Kreese is the Real HERO and also the ‘JUDGE & JURY’!!

First & foremost, I am one of the BIGGEST ‘Karate Kid’ fans on the PLANET! Hence that means I’m a HUGE damn fan of Martin Kove AKA Sensei Kreese-so imagine discovering that Kove starred in a weird action/horror hybrid flick called ‘JUDGE & JURY’ from 1996 was quite exciting for my lizard brain! Better yet Martin Kove isn’t the villain, nope he’s the god-damn hero finally and it’s a also plays on the horror trope of “evil death row inmate who can’t be killed in the electric chair and comes back for vengeance with supernatural powers” -YES! Look at this crap-tastic VHS cover too- is it really any wonder why it’s not a well know film?!

This falls into the whole “Shocker/Horror Show/Prison” genre but with almost a “Lifetime channel” film vibe mixed with huge explosions, car chases and supernatural shenanigans a’plenty. Well now all of you Cobra Kai fanatics can get the full scoop on this odd little forgotten 90’s gem that IMO deserves a lot more love and attention (not to mention a sweet long overdue blu ray) on the newest episode of MOVIE MELT! We cover all the details of this bizarre film, talk plenty about Martin Kove’s career & also for some reason get stuck in a wild hamster wheel of discussing the hottest, sexiest primate on the damn planet: SHABANI!! Have you heard about this handsome model-esque real life gorilla model? HOTT as HELL!

Ok well there’s also a “battle of the bands” and soooo much more ridiculous cinematic brain numbing nonsense you likely need to fill your head with- we discuss RIGHT HERE! Check this shit out….And Martin Kove if you’re listening (I know you often read the blog still) pleeeez call the Movie Melt hotline to let us know what you think about our intense feels about JUDGE & JURY!! Even if you’re not Mr. Kove call us at this number (724) 246-4669 we promise no one will answer!!! Listen to MOVIE MELT RIGHT HERE!