Tagged: Christmas

Idiotic Christmas Horror: Silent Night Deadly Night 5: The Toymaker!

Ho ho ho! The Christmas spirit is in the air again and it’s once again time to check out some crazy holiday movies! Last night I watched a pretty ridiculous one to say the least, the final installment of the ‘Silent Night Deadly Night’ franchise, part 5: ‘The Toymaker’ from 1991! Now if you’re in the mood for some totally idiotic yet entertaining holiday movie mayhem I’d say this here is definitely worth a watch this year. As with the 4th installment of the ‘Silent Night Deadly Night’ franchise, this one has got absolutely zilch to do with the original, clearly a sequel only in name and I’m quite fine with that becuz really now, how many damn movies do we need with a killer in a Santa Suit?

So “The Toymaker” goes a way different direction with a totally absurd plot directed by Martin Kitrosser & co-written by horror icon Brian Yuzna (Night of the Living Dead 3, Bride of Re-Aminator, Society), which finds a little kid whose family is “terrorized” by killer presents..ahem “toys” made by a weird ass old dude toymaker named ‘Joe Petto’ played by the one and only Mickey Rooney! How the hell they got Rooney to do this flick is a bit of a wonder. First he’s clearly got the star power here, though in 1991 he must have been in dire need of acting work and even more bizarre is that Rooney wrote a protest letter against the first Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984).  Claiming the “scum” who made it should be “run out of town” for having fucked with the sacred holiday. Oddly then six years later he joined the damn franchise!! He must have just loved the damn script so much he couldn’t resist! The world may never know..

Anyway Rooney runs his own creepy toy shop in town called “Petto’s” which is probably the WORST name you could pick for a toy store, oh and he’s got his socially awkward son working the shop too and yeah…..his name is ‘Pino’. I recognized this kid actor Brian Bremer from Pumpkinhead as well as starring in Tobe Hooper’s Spontaneous Combustion & Yuzna’s ‘Society’. So are you catching on here to the brilliance of this story here yet? Well Joe Petto makes toys that kill people and his weirdo son who lives in the dank cellar helps him out and also gets yelled at a lot by Petto after he’s been drinkin’ on the job during shop hours.

The meat of the plot here revolves around Joe Petto’s evil toy’s stalking a single mom and her child for some “unknown reason” right around Christmas. We get some pretty ridiculous bullshit going on here when the toys viciously attack and we even got Screamin’ Mad George (Predator, Nightmare on Elm St. 3) doing his best with the budget on special fx duty. Killer toy army men, toy centipede larva, heck even some killer roller blades! The movie’s filled with crazy ass plot twists too, the kind that are so stupid you can’t help but find idioticlly endearing.

The Toymaker goes for the jugular with a “shocking” finale too, that kinda just has to be seen to be believed as it’s about as stupidly awesome things come. There’s plenty to enjoy here for the holiday as the story somehow operates nicely within the Christmas season. It’s likely the second best installment of the ‘Silent Night’ franchise and the perfect holiday party flick as it’s got a lean, just over 80 minute run time that moves at a nice brisk pace. If you want a full on holiday party flick this one’s got the goods, just make sure you’ve got your sense of humor intact, plenty of weed and boozy egg nog there to wash this one down with…you’ll be needing it!

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Ho-Ho-Holiday Horror Movies You May Have Missed!

It’s December 2016 is a time for some serious holiday celebration! Sure I’ll be watching a ton of the usual classics like Santa Claus: The Movie, Elf, Rudolph, Gremlins etc etc. However I’m going to be busting out the Christmas horror movies again this of course and hopefully here I’ll be able to give you a few ideas of some movies to check out if you’re feeling like mixing it up a bit this year. We all know about the classics like Black Christmas, Silent Night Deadly Night, last years instant classic Krampus. Well here’s a few you may have never heard of but you should definitely seek out this season!

3615 code Pere Noel / AKA ‘Deadly Games’ (1989)

A true lost & forgotten gem of a movie. If you search the net for Christmas Horror movies, you for some crazy reason won’t find this one on any of the lists. However this french film, which I first saw last year, is easily one of the best Christmas horror movies of all time. It’s a rare one and finding a version of it with subtitles can be pretty difficult, I got a copy off of Ioffer.com.

Searching this one out is totally worth it though as it plays out like the ultimate 80’s Amblin style “Home Alone” hybrid of a film. It screams of the 1980’s and features a super cool kid obsessed with action movies who lives in a gigantic castle style mansion. During a snow storm on Christmas eve, he finds himself home alone with his grandfather where the house becomes under siege by a crazed maniac who is convinced he’s Santa Claus & is hell bent on punishing all those who’ve been naughty. This one deserves a proper release and then it rightly deserves to be a new addition on ALL Christmas horror lists.

 

The Christmas Tale (2005) Continue reading

Superheroic Thanksgiving!

We never really think that things like Thanksgiving and Comic books go together, but hey comic book characters have gotta take some time off to spend some time breaking bread together right? Well here’s a few cool images of some of the icons spending turkey day together-check it out!

 

 

 

 

Freaky Friday Night at The Movies: 3615 code Pere Noel & Howl!!

I’ve been doing little movie nights at my shop Hollywood Babylon here in Portland, Oregon quite regularly now and I thought it’d be cool to start doing reviews of the flicks that we watch. I’ve gotta say investing in a projector is really one of the best things you can do if you’re a movie buff! The shop transforms into a mini theater and we can get as rowdy as we want! Often we try to pair an old and new movie together in hopes of ultimate cinematic bliss which is a hard task when you’re often trying to view something that’s new to everyone there. So last night seemed promising as we started off with a rare french flick from 1989 called:

                                            “3615 CODE PERE NOEL” aka DEADLY GAMES, GAME OVER

What a treat this one was, I had meant to get this one this year for Christmas but it’s a hard one to track down at least with English subtitles or in real physical form. I don’t do the whole online downloading very often so I went to Ioffer.com which is your best bet for finding really rare movies “on DVD” unfortunately it didn’t arrive quite in time for Christmas this year.

3615 code Pere Noel or as it’s also known as “Deadly Games” is a total gem of a basically lost and forgotten 1980’s french holiday horror movie. The movies plot is simple and awesome. There’s a poor weird bearded guy who’s wandering the streets looking for children to “play” with during Christmas time and he lands himself a job at big time department store as their Santa Claus. Bad move because this dude is bat shit crazy and it’s not long before some little kid sitting on his lap tells him him she “doesn’t like his face”.

This sends him into an abusive rage which ends up getting the weird dude fired and sets him on course to our protagonist’s giant castle mansion. Yep the hero of this film is one cool ass nine year old kid who lives in a crazy mansion that’d make Ricky Schroder from Silver Spoons jealous! Continue reading

Merry Christmas With Tales From The Dark Side, The Twilight Zone, Sherlock Holmes and More!

It’s Christmas eve! We’re all set tonight for Christmas to get cozy and wait for Santa to come squeeze down our chimney, but what to watch tonight while we wait? Do we choose the usual classics?

If you’re like me you might be looking at adding a few different selections to the agenda tonight here’s some suggestions!!

Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Missing Christmas Pudding

The Twilight Zone: Night of the Meek (This isn’t the full episode)

That Tales From The Dark Side Christmas Episode: Seasons of Belief!! Continue reading

A Rollins & Danzig Anti-Christmas!

So what happens when Danzig & Rollins celebrate Christmas together? Check out this cool little cartoon from a few years back that shows best these buddies hanging out in their apartment celebrating Anti-Christmas together, because well we all know Glenn worships the devil right?!

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Based off the comic book series by Tom Neely this one gives us a glimpse of these punk rock legends lives together around the holiday season!! Oh and let’s not forget their next door neighbors Hall & Oates!

 

The Krampus Movie of the 1950’s?!

So I’ve already raved about how much I loved Krampus by Michael Dougherty and I’ve bee so surprised that no one has come out with a Christmas movie about Krampus before the craze hit recently. However yesterday I saw an odd trailer for a movie supposedly from 1958 called Krampus- check this out:

So the question is, is this trailer legit? It seems a lot of websites out there claim this to be a lost trailer of movie which only print was destroyed years ago. After a little digging however it seems that this faux trailer was actually produced by Midnight Crew Studios. I had a feeling, but damn if that trailer wasn’t convincing upon the first watch!

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Lastly there’s some cool new Krampus holiday figurines that have just been released from James Sizemore’s (The Demon’s Rook) company Wonder Goblin, they’re pretty awesome and can be purchased through the website for that Krampus fanatic in everyone’s life this year!

Krampus