Category: TV Shows

U-Dork MUST See Holiday Viewing: 1985’s ‘MONSTER’S IN MY ROOM’ w/ Seth Green?!

I just had a revelation: One of my long lost favorite episodes of ‘Tales from the Darkside’ is actually a Christmas themed horror story! Yeah, the legendary 1980s horror tv series created by icon George Romero is easily one of the best of all time, like any anthology series there are some misses among it’s three seasons but when they hit they’re some of the best. Originally planned as a ‘Creepshow’ sequel tv series, but renamed ‘Tales from the Darkside’ due to rights issues. Many of these episodes are just as good or better than what we got in the first two installments of the original two ‘Creepshow’ movies. So now that we’re back in the holiday season I’ve began some deep diving into forgotten xmas themed horror once again! 

I hadn’t seen the 1985 episode ‘Monsters In My Room’ from the second season likely since the 80’s, however I never really forgot it. I just recently got the second season collection of the show on DVD and realized that Seth Green was the star of the episode AND that it also takes place on Christmas! A favorite of mine and a holiday horror treat I could appreciate all over again. The series already has two great Christmas themed episodes-and if you combined all three of these with a holiday wraparound it’s be akin to a real
“Creepshow Holiday anthology” flick-eons better than their 2020 special ‘Shapeshifters Anonymous’. The episodes you need to check out, if you’re looking for real 80’s Xmas horror are ‘The Yattering & Jack’, ‘Seasons of Belief’ & this episode ‘Monsters In My Room’.

We get a super creepy little tale that takes place at Christmas time were Seth Green is terrorized by creatures who live in his room and “come out to play” during the holiday. To make matters worse Seth’s  new stepdad “Biff” is a total dick and is obsessed with “making a man” out of little Seth Green on Christmas Eve. When the monsters materialize in the form of an ogre, a huge saw blade, a tentacled monster beneath his bed and a wild wicked witch he naturally goes to his parents to let them know what he’s seen. But of course NO one believes him-especially not Biff who thinks he’s being a coward.

Things take a dark twist though as the “tuff guy sailor” Biff gets wasted one night and enters Seth’s room, singing him old school sailor anthems-one of the things that always seemed to stick with me was his ridiculous drunken singing where he performs: “what do you do with a yellow belly sailor? Shave his belly with a rusty razor” like a total buffoon. I love this episode, I think it’s one of the quintessential of the series, it’s got the holiday vibes all over it and a gang of super cool looking monsters, as well as some really well executed genuinely creepy sequences. Plus little kid Seth Green is awesome here and around this same time appeared in the ‘Amazing Stories’ episode ‘The Sitter’ a total gem of the series and horror themed as well.

So yeah check out THIS episode this year and if you by chance haven’t seen the other two Christmas themed ‘Tales from the Darkside’ episodes you’ve got to watch all three in ONE sitting, like a long lost 80’s Holiday “Creepshow” anthology film-a true trio of Xmas terror! 

Watch the whole thing on Dailymotion!

Afraid of CGI Grey Aliens? If So ‘NO ONE WILL SAVE YOU’ Delivers the GOODS!

HULU finally brings me a grey alien home invasion horror film I’ve asking for-‘No One Will Save You’ delivers a simple premise with some fairly well executed drama but also manages to take the terrifying silent “greys” of movies like ‘Communion’ & ‘Fire in the Sky’ and turns them into loud rubbery CGI lunatics. Yeah these modern UFO films or all films in general now tbh) just can’t resist going digital and at times these creatures end up feeling more “Roger Rabbit” than ‘Close Encounters of the Third Kind’. I’ve been saying it for years someone should make a home invasion film with “the greys”, I’d always found them quite terrifying and it’d be really a unique premise to see them pursue a human in a secluded home.

Well this movie grants me my wish but makes a mistake, one that just can’t be avoided today it seems-heavy reliance on shoddy looking CGI fx. Last year we saw a practical effects alien attack film in ‘Kids vs Aliens’, which used practical fx but dropped the ball in the approach, like this, showing the aliens far too much in plain sight. Maybe I’m the only one here, but to me being chased down by CGI creatures just doesn’t strike terror in my heart. I need to feel that there is a real threat there onscreen WITH the actual actors-it really needs to feel convincing. The aliens in ‘Fire in the Sky’ are pure perfection, I can only imagine them invading a home, but for some reason Hollywood just doesn’t have either the skill or patience to film real monster effects anymore. That all being said ‘No One Will Save You’ is still somewhat entertaining and filled with a few twists and turns. There’s several styles of aliens too that enter the mix-two of them particularly look awkwardly cartoonish and some of the chase/fight sequences get a bit too ridiculous and cartoonishly rambunctious at times. But, there is a neat little story here at play despite all of my visual gripes that make this worth a look.

There’s a GREAT setting for all of this to take place, a beautiful little home tucked away in the countryside and it really doesn’t take long for the Aliens to arrive and get “nasty”. Kaitlyn Dever does a good job in the lead with almost no spoken dialogue and does her best trying to look scared shitless by CGI creatures. It’s definitely not the best alien invasion film I’ve seen before and works better honestly as drama than a “horror” film. There’s some decent attempts at deep character development/motivation as a young woman lives in seclusion by choice and we go on a journey to put together exactly why she’s struggling so much with every day life. The film by the end takes some turns I didn’t see really see coming-mostly in the film’s last final couple minutes. It’s got a message that’s worth some discussion and likely could be interpreted in several ways.

It’s pretty decent streaming content but nothing that’s anywhere near as effective or memorable as Communion, Fire in the Sky or even Dark Skies from 2013. I was pretty excited for my grey alien fix but I feel film now just isn’t capable of going the distance-I’m not even sure many of these modern directors could execute a film like E.T. these days without relying largely on digital fx. I think they could have given us some terrifying creatures using animatronics, like a lanky marionette and used CG to remove wires, strings and puppeteers. Also keeping a creature like a grey in the shadows is when they feel most terrifying-instead this film has them running and jumping all over the place in plain sight. Their design is far too digital to showcase so prominently. Instead the less is more approach makes them much more mysterious and terrifying. This pic from Fire in the Sky is a good example:

The craft of executing a real shot on real film feels like a true thing of the past. This one’s worth a watch, I don’t expect too much anyways from an original film for HULU. I say check it out if you’re looking for some classic alien action and if you’re REAAAALLLY scared of CGI monsters this movie will NOT disappoint.

 

The Most EPIC Saturday Morning Cartoon Intros of ALL Time!

There have been some real excellent classic cartoon intros, especially from the 80s, some of these are quite leap in quality above what we actually see in the cartoon animation. I recently took another good look at what I consider the BEST animated intro of all time-The Thundercats from 1985! I had all the action figures, was a HUGE fan but even as a kid back then I was able to recognize just how special that classic opening was-It blew my damn MIND and STILL does to this today…

It’s likely got a high frame per second rate, attention to shadows/detail and those rad neon colorful light fx that were just too time consuming when animating an entire series! Here’s a reminder of what I’m talking about-clearly this trailer reminds me of something that could’ve appeared in ‘Heavy Metal’. Here’s a new 8k restoration:

But lets not forget the sibling Thundercats cartoon shows from the same animators the Silverhawks opening was pretty much JUST as epic! Check this out once again to be reminded of how amazing the opening from this show was too! 

See a similarity? Then there’s The Tigersharks which again is from the same team-this one is almost as great as the aforementioned ‘toons! Tigersharks was one a LOT of people have also forgotten all about-here it is, the intro also made by the same peeps behind Thundercats & Silverhawks:

And let’s NOT forget the epic opening to the Galaxy Rangers from 1986-plus again another totally killer theme song!

As a bonus I added the 1988 X-men pilot, largely forgotten by fans of the 1990s series. This 80s version though is totally top notch too, in fact the full pilot episode’s animation is pretty consistently incredible-all of the into footage is from the ACTUAL episode:

Honorable mention the largely forgotten Mighty Orbots intro!

Also season 2 of The Transformers was pretty epic as well and a step above most of their other intros..

One thing I believe these all have in common are that they were animated by a Japanese production team-I’ll update this one with more info on that-but for now I simply ask, do you think there’s a BETTER animated opening intro sequence than any of these from cartoons largely made for American audiences?! I challenge you!

Recommended EASTER Viewing: He-man vs The Evil EASTER BUNNY?!

Hey are you looking for something a bit out of the ordinary to watch today for Easter?! Well hopefully you haven’t forgotten that one time when He-man took on the “evil Easter bunny”…………how can anyone ever forget the truly sinister Plundor?!

Yes, Plundor has just GOT to be the strangest villain that He-man has ever squared off against. He’s also in pretty good shape, he must work out a-LOT! He’s also the perfect villain for today-EASTER Sunday. Yeah back in the 1980s Plundor made his appearance in the 19th episode of He-man and the Masters of the Universe, ‘The Quest for He-man’.

The wicked rabbit spent his time exploiting natural resources destroying the planet of Trannis. He ruined the forests, rivers and oceans ALL for-profit! He polluted the planet with filth, with his giant factory and that attracted the likes of He-man, Orko & Ram-man to go head on against Plundor to clean up his act!

The character never got his own classic action figure in the 1980s but in 2013 he was immortalized in the He-man and the Masters of the Universe Classics line action figures! He finally got his dues better late than never for such a weird-ass character. I remember him from the show in the 1980s and was always intrigued by how ridiculous he looked-one of those strange “cartoon only” characters. Well today is the perfect day to honor He-man’s most oddball nemesis! Today is YOUR day Plundor-make Easter an EVIL one! Here’s the whole episode:

 

G.I. JOE Action Stars Cereal Transformed You Into a Bonafide 80s Badass!

‘G.I. Joe Action Stars’ cereal was quite a way to start your day off in 1985! Yes, if you ever dreamed of being like Duke, Sgt. Slaughter or heck even Rambo all you apparently had to do back then was grab a box of this likely highly unhealthy but flashy sugary meal to pump you UP from your local grocery store. I mean c’mon look at this damn box-it’s the food of true action heroes……obviously!

I’m not gonna lie, I want to order that G.I. Joe tee from the back of the damn box! And even better, it appears once you’re done stuffing your face with the yummy action star shaped “Cheerios” you can actually transform the cereal box into some sort of Cobra radio relay station?!! Break out the action figures ASAP!

Talk about getting your money’s worth! Also the commercial for this wicked cereal is the ultimate selling point, putting any kid who eats it on rip roarin’ adventure with the Joe’s!! Sign me up!

Interesting fun factoid, the character featured here named “Starbuster” only appeared in cartoon form in this one and only epic commercial!

The Final Season of Cobra Kai Needs THE NEXT KARATE KID!

It’s official Cobra Kai is coming to end with season 6 this year & I really think that it’s a great idea to stop while the iron is still HOT. They likely could have just left the end of Season 5 as is and it would have been actually quite satisfying. They’ve pretty much went everywhere they could with the series covering almost all the characters in the “Miyagi-verse”. However there’s one big corner left to explore still: The NEXT KARATE KID. The highly underrated gem of the franchise!

It’s the perfect time to bring Julie Pierce (Hilary Swank) into the mix for the final curtain call. For many years I avoided The Next Karate Kid, I felt like it was an illegitimate spin-off of the “real deal” even though Part 3 was an uneven, laughable, tonally off chapter. It’d surely seem like the time is now bring Swank into the mix, the last season could use the female energy and give the show a fresh twist. The Next Karate Kid is also the last resource to draw from the “Miyagi-verse” and though it’s villains don’t seem to make sense in Cobra Kai it’d be really interesting to see Daniel and Julie finally meet in person and discuss the legend of Miyagi. Perhaps Julie could shed new light on his wisdom or even secrets of his past that Daniel(and the fans) might not be aware of?

As I’ve said before, Swank would be a welcome addition to the series, she’s most definitely a high caliber actor and the series would be more than lucky to be graced with her talent. It’s really the last link waiting to be covered from the  4 movies. But what are the odds it happens? Well at the moment, Hilary is pregnant and is expecting very soon, so I wonder just how available she could even be? It’s definitely possible I suppose for her to jump on board in a couple months.

So far however she’s stated she’s never been approached to be on Cobra Kai, which honestly I find to be quite odd especially since she’s stated that she’s open to reprising her role. In my opinion though, this last season really needs The Next Karate Kid connection. It would be a real treat to see her and Daniel fight with their Miyagi-Do karate expertise side by side. She could be a big part of the big final tournament and quite honestly the last missing link to the Miyagi lore.

I’m hoping they don’t drop the ball here, The Next Karate Kid is a solid entry in the franchise. It wasn’t a reboot/carbon copy of the first film with a girl in the Danielson role, it had it’s own unique story to tell, charming characters and has actually in my opinion aged quite nicely. Over the last few years it’s really become a favorite of mine, giving us a sweet glimpse into Mr. Miyagi’s life outside of Daniel. Also what if there are some great never before seen outtakes or deleted scenes from The Next Karate Kid that could be over into the show?

If you’re A “Danielson only” Karate Kid purist you should really give The Next Karate Kid another shot, if you’re like me and miss Mr. Miyagi, the brilliance of Pat Morita, that movie really delivers a high powered crane kick to the ass! Fingers crossed Hilary RETURNS in a BIG way for the final season of Cobra Kai!!!

Stephen King Presents: William Hurt vs Pissed Off Toy Soldiers!

I just checked out a crazy fun episode of the 2006 Stephen King series ‘Nightmares and Dreamscapes”.The very first episode “Battleground” is a blast, LITERALLY!  It seems this series went under the radar of most horror fans, probably because the rest of the episodes are pretty mediocre  adaptations of some of Stephen King’s short stories of the same name. 

Battleground starring William Hurt though is quite the exception to say the least. Directed by Brian Henson (son of Jim Henson) it of course features some pretty SPECIAL fx work. The premise of the story makes perfect sense to for Henson to be at the helm here and this almost demented “Small Soldiers” style story is a sweet little bloody brawl that’s enthralling to watch unfold.

William Hurt (R.I.P. who doesn’t speak a word in the entire episode) plays a cunning hitman who’s hired to take out the brainy CEO of a prominent toy corporation. It seems like a slam, dunk easy job and he heads home to his lavish high rise apartment after doing the dirty little deed. However it doesn’t take long for strange things to begin happening when he receives a mysterious package delivered to him. 

Come to find out it’s filled with a shit load of toy soldiers as well as toy army tanks, planes, helicopters and jeeps. He doesn’t think much of it until he is viciously attacked as the toys aggressively come to life with one goal: to destroy this giant assassin!

What transpires is a pretty intense and bloody battle between a full grown assassin and a vicious toy battalion in Hurt’s fancy highrise and it’s one helluva spectacle. It even harkens back to such classics as the Trilogy of Terror’s Zuni fetish warrior doll and the classic King horror anthology, Cat’s Eye! 

 Brian Henson also does sn excellent job here directing, creating truly tense thrills and some really inventive special effects using very minimal CGI and mostly real human beings to create some truly stunning action sequences with the toys. There’s a great little special effects featurette on the DVD that shows how he brought this gruesome little minature war to life.

Hurt also does a really great job as the silent assassin, who relies on all of his expertise to try and survive the encounter. You really get a sense that he has finally met his match, wasting no time trying to figure out why or how this is happening and just simply focuses on how to exterminate the enemy. I highly recommend checking this wildly unique little episode down as it certainly packs a wallop!  Thankfully someone has posted it right on YouTube:

 

 

 

‘Perversions of Science’ the Forgotten Tales from the Crypt Sequel Series?!

Tales from the Crypt is easily hands down one of the greatest horror television shows of all time and what a great time of the year to revisit your favorite episodes! Well this year I put together a cool VHS horror anthology that’s all Halloween themed, in fact this is my sequel, as I made the 1st installment last year. To put this thing together I did a lot of research on Halloween themed horror short films from the eighties and nineties, Halloween themed horror TV episodes (no sitcoms) and of course installments of movie horror anthologies that all revolve around the Season of the Witch.

Finding the goods is actually a lot harder than you might think, but my Halloween research led me to a 1997 series called ‘Perversions of Science’ that has a pretty sweet Halloween episode directed by horror icon Tobe Hooper! But just what the fuck is ‘Perversions of Science’ anyway?

 Well news to me, it’s the “sequel series” to Tales from the Crypt and involves the same creative team, with music by Danny Elfman. Instead of the Crypt Keeper this time we get a futuristic sexy sultry computer generated robot woman as our host. Where the hell has this been my entire life and why am I just finding it about it all right now?!

Well from what I understand it definitely wasn’t the most popular series of its time and only ran for ONE season. Though many of the episodes have strong horror elements, it’s primarily a science fiction based show. I don’t claim to be any expert on this as I’ve only seen one episode, but the one I did see was definitely good enough to make me hella curious on hunting down the rest. But since it’s so close to Halloween I might as well talk a little bit about the Halloween themed episode of that’s leading me down this Perversion rabbit hole.

The episode ‘Panic’ takes place on Halloween night at a costume party, where two real life aliens from another planet are disguising themselves and eagerly awaiting orders from their leader to launch an attack on the human race. However unbeknownst to them a “war of the worlds” type radio broadcast is on the airwaves that evening and they mistake it as a real world news event. This leads the evil aliens played by Jason Lee & Jamie Kennedy (oh soooooo damn 90s!!!) into a bizarre series of earthly events on All Hallow’s Eve.

There’s some pretty cool practical effects here that definitely harken back to the good old days of Tales from the Crypt but of course there’s also some rather dodgy nineties cgi as well. That all being said I’d love to get my hands on a nice clean copy of the show as it looks like it’s got a lot of potential.

But there’s never been physical version of this thing ever released to my knowledge besides it’s original airing, no DVD’s VHS or blu rays out there that I’ve been able to track down and not streaming anywhere.

With directors like Tobe Hooper, William Shatner (?) and stars like Jeffrey Combs, Ron Perlman, Sean Astin, Will Wheaton this 10 episode series is on my ASAP must see list!!  Have you seen this forgotten television series? Let me know! Ps here are my VHS tapes I made:

3 MUST See 80s Halloween GEMS from ‘Tales From The Darkside’!

Ok it’s ON!! Halloween time viewing is in FULL effect here at U-Dork so naturally we’ve gotta get our groove on with some often forgotten gems of Halloween that are an absolute essential watch- Especially if you’re a big fan of eighties horror! One of my favorite shows of that era, the brilliant horror anthology TV series Tales from the Darkside!

This 4 season series contains 3 of my all time favorite Halloween horror stories &  they’re so well done that if you put all of them together in a film anthology with a wrap-around plot line it’d make for probably one the best Halloween themed movies of the 1980s! So find these streaming this year or go do yourself a favor and buy the whole collection on dvd. Make sure though to bookmark these 3 this year and watch them all in a row.

First up ‘The Cutty Black Sow’ from Season 4 (1988).

This is easily gotta be one of the most terrifying episodes of of the series & also one of the strangest titles to boot. During Halloween a family is hit with the tragic death of a beloved grandmother. Just before she passes though she relays a cryptic warning to one of the children to beware of ‘the cutty black sow’ on All Hallows Eve, an evil demonic creature that seeks harm to the family and steal souls. This episode is filled with the sense of dread as a thick impending doom oozes through Halloween night air & the children wonder if their great grandmother’s warning is indeed one to be taken seriously. A creepy taut Halloween gem with a horrifying ending!

Second is ‘Halloween Candy’ from Season 2, (1985)

 Again one of the best episodes of the series hands down and directed by make up wizard/horror icon Tom Savini! This tale features a grumpy old man who absolutely loathes the Halloween season and more-so those pesky trick or treaters. However this Halloween he gets WAY more than he bargained for when an evil troll comes to his door asking for Halloween candy! This little monster is an absolute delight to behold, It’s clear that Savini has his FX work cut out for him as it’s one of the coolest little troll/goblin like creatures to hit the big or small screen. It’s also an incredibly creepy Halloween themed slice of horror, with a bit of a moral lesson at it’s core. It’s best not to be an asshole on All Hallows Eve especially if you live alone on a dark street & a weird trick-or-treater shows up in the dead of night. Filled with tense atmosphere and crafted by an icon, it’s no wonder this episode is a such TREAT!

Lastly is the very 1st episode of the entire series ‘Trick-or-Treat’ (1984) and in my opinion probably the best of the entire series altogether.

Co-written by George Romero and directed by well known actor Bob Balaban who also directed the 1989 cult horror film ‘Parents’, they give us a truly wicked Halloween adventure! A greedy old scrooge like miser basically runs a small town where everyone seems to be suffering and in debt to him. Every Halloween he opens the doors to his house of horrors where he geefully sits at a control booth, triggering terrifying sounds, traps & puppeteering animatronic creatures rigged to scare small children. This isn’t done to entertain the kids, it’s however a challenge to the smalltown children to search for the debts of their parents. If they find them, their families are forgiven of their monetary burdens. The old codger takes way too much sadistic pleasure in terrorizing the kids which makes this episode truly grim and unforgettable. He loves Halloween but for all the wrong reasons. Luckily in a turn of events he himself is faced with true terror and all bets are off this Halloween! Filled with incredible iconic horror imagery, thrills, heart and some amazing practical effects work this is the absolute standout must see episode of the series! It would also be the perfect finale for a Halloween horror anthology-This year don’t sleep on these episodes they’re essential viewing every damn year for one of the greatest holidays of all time!!

 

 

Comic Cover of the Week: Frank Miller, Daredevil & THE HULK!

I’m done waiting around for Daredevil to appear in the latest She-Hulk Disney Plus series! IMO the show is a complete annoying, trainwreck and I really don’t care to see whatever pathetic version of Daredevil they end up bringing to the screen. I say this as a huge fan of The Sensational She-Hulk series by John Byrne too. So here’s a classic cover with Daredevil in his prime facing a real Hulk from issue #160 from 1980! I love the simplicity here and how we really only need to see The Incredible Hulk’s giant green hand to witness the fear in Daredevil’s face.  The man without fear? I’m not so sure! Excellent work Frank Miller!!