So it seems that the ‘Masters of the Universe’ right now are all the rage for ALL the wrong reasons! Yes, Kevin Smith is in the hot seat for his Netflix masters”He-man” series, having watched the first 5 episodes I will admit, I was pretty freakin’ underwhelmed. The animation was indeed pretty great but some of the voice work I wasn’t a fan of and the general storyline feels like Kevin Smith’s failed attempt at recreating the Transformers movie from 1986 while trying to model the series after what’s trending on Twitter. Killing off He-man twice in the first 5 episodes was a bit of a disappointment and having the “new & improved” Teela take over the entire show was all too predictable in this current landscape of the oddly forced “strong female lead” narrative. I mean if we wanted a female He-man we already got one: where the hell is She-Ra dammit? The show is only halfway finished so maybe Kevin Smith will redeem himself with some masterful storytelling, however I don’t have too much faith as the guy hasn’t made a good movie in about 15 years. I mean has anyone actually ever been able to finish ‘Yoga Hosers’? DOUBTFUL!
All this made me want to take a moment to go back to my childhood as I was a huge collector of the Masters of the Universe toy line and a BIG fan of the cartoon. My favorite thing about the toys were most definitely He-man’s cast of colorful villains! So I wanted to take a moment to throw out there my top 5 favorite He-man action figures which were most def always the bad guys!
Of all of them I’ve gotta say that ol’ Trapjaw was easily my favorite as a kid! His movable jaw, his interchangeable weapon arms and just his rad look in general made him my all time favorite Masters of the Universe action figure! This guy was a true bad-ass, I literally carried him around everywhere with me.
I really love this fucked up bad dude, he’s so damn bizarre & cut from a different cloth than the regular Masters of the Universe action figures. I’d spend hours trying to configure him into the weirdest shapes and sizes that I could, big & small! Modulok was one of the coolest, and also a bit frightening! If you bought two Moduloks you could make him even bigger and weirder!
Oooooh yeah this guy was a damn gem, a true freak of nature! When I first saw him in Shopko I was so PUMPED! He was also cut from a different mold with his 2 heads and strange giganto torso along with his spring action arms made him a true freakazoid enemy of He-man!! Two Bad was double the pleasure and two time the EVIL!!
Oh boy, I couldn’t get enough of Whiplash!! the first time I saw him in the package at Toy R’ Us I begged my mom To let me take him home with me. This bad-ass, green reptilian, half breed alligator man was one of my favorites and his rubbery tail could certainly give Prince Adam the ass whoopin’ that he always needed. Easily one of my favorite action figures of all time! I’d take this dude in the tub with me for a swamp alligator style MOTU adventure – He-man was truly put to the test…thos were the days. Get bent Kevin Smith! Ahhh!
Oh I just loved this freaky crab human hybrid baddie SO damn much! As a kid I had hermit crabs and as an adult I still got one! So when I saw this guy At K-mart it was love at first sight! I don’t know why, but as a kid I was obsessed with crabs and crayfish. When Skeletor added Clawful to the mix you wouldn’t hear me complaining. Nope, I dig his fiddler crab style look and his spring action giant claw hand was his greatest selling point!
Damn it how I fucking loved Hordak! I was so happy with his introduction a fresh new bad guy and IMO he was cooler than Skeletor. He was a truly exciting addition to the evil gang and not only a rival to He-man but ALSO to Skeletor. So many good times with this evil asshole, but you know what, the whole damn ‘Evil Horde’ needs to make this list, they were all so bad ass and unique and screw anyone who thinks Grizzlor and Manteena were stupid-they were fucking rad-Kevin Smith you could redeem yourself by bringing in Hordak and his crew to kick Teela and Skeletor’s butts and just bring She-ra back to fight them ALL!
One thing I love are those weird ass toys of the 70’s & 80’s many of them long forgotten by most. Today I was thinking about a strange action figure line called ‘The Supernaturals’. This bizarre gang of monster toys from 1987 had a gimmick, a spooky 3-D hologram sticker attached to their bodies, often times the heads and torso that really created an incredibly creepy unmistakable look for these action figures. These dudes were pretty damn awesome, each one came with a mini comic book that explained origins of the ghosty heroes and villains.
They also had glow in the dark hands and weapons just to make them even spookier when the lights went out as well as spooktacular vehicles they used in battle. I had a few of these as a kid, they were truly bizarre and that’s one of the main reasons why this toy line was so short lived. Luckily someone was kind enough to upload these old commercials of them so they can truly live on forever!!!
Here’s a great old retro commercial from The Masters of the Universe featuring one of my favorite action figures Stinkor!
Yep there was a He-man villain that was a man sized skunk and the action figure did indeed stink! They basically took an older He-man figure, a villain called Mer-man who was a fish man and just repainted it like a damn skunk giving him Mekaneck’s battle armor!
Yeah as awesome as the He-man figures were they often times used the same body parts, swords, armor etc. and just cheaply created new characters.
As kids we didn’t care though we still ate that shit up anyway! So here’s a truly funny commercial that highlights this bizarre bad guy check it out!
When it comes to insulting & ridiculing people no one can do it better than Republican frontrunner Donald Trump and Masters of the Universe’s own ultimate asshole Skeletor!
Both are highly amusing yet incredibly idiotic, pop culture villains who will take any given chance to hurl an insult at their naysayers! So let’s pit these two jackasses against each other in a battle of insults to see just who’s got the most ridiculous cheap shots.
Both of these guys have a lot in common in especially in the way they take pride in ridiculing anyone and everyone who gets in their way!
Check this out as first up we have Skeletor!
…..and of course Mr. Big Mouth himself The Donald!!
This is just Part 1 so if you want some more Trump at his finest check out part two!
Oh and I think Cobra Commander could join these two for the fun as well! If only Trump could pick one of these guys as his running mate now that’d be entertainment!!
I’ve raved here before about The Power Lords action figures from the 1980’s, they were probably some of the most bizarre action figures of that decade and that’s exactly why I needed them all!! Finally someone thankfully uploaded one of the vintage TV commercials that got me all revved up as a kid and I’m starting to think I need to hunt all these down again for myself! The Power Lords weren’t very well known and that’s probably because these action figures were creepy as fuck!
As a kid even I was a little off put by them in the best way possible-I mean the hero of the power lords is Adam Power a decent looking gentleman until he turns into a blue skinned, black eyed, veiny super powered weirdo!! Check out these classic adds, I’ve gotta say I love that animated sequence it opens with, if only they had a full on animated show back then!! Damn!
Now THAT’S what I call some cool action figures!! I must admit I had He-man go up against the Power Lords many times and Adam Power always won, then of course they teamed up and took on Skeletor & Griptogg!! Check out this awesome video to get a full on look at how cool the Power Lords mythos really was!!
It’s really no surprise that The Power Lords were created by Wayne Barlowe who gained a cult following for his book “Barlow’s Guide to Extraterrestrials” way back in 1979. It contains his visualizations of different extraterrestrial life forms from various works of science fiction, with information on their planetary location or range, biology, and behaviors, in the style of a real field guide for animals, such as Roger Tory Peterson’s guide to birds of North America. I may have to hunt down this book too while I am at it!! Barlow has also worked on creature designs for movies like Pacific Rim, Blade II, Both Hellboy movies, Avatar & The Hobbit!
Check out this awesome cover way back from 1982, us kids had our wildest fantasies come true with Superman and The Masters of the Universe! As a kid we’d always be pondering important things like “Who’d win in a fight He-Man or Superman?!” Well our wish came true in the form of this comic book! Of course the only reason the two fight is because of Skeletor taking control of Superman’s mind-DUH! It was a damn good fight too! Now if only we could see He-man Fight the Hulk!!
Do any of you remember the He-man & She-ra : The Masters of the Universe Christmas special?! Yes even on Eternia they somehow find a way to celebrate Christmas! This was a great holiday cartoon that many people have forgotten about, however it is now available on dvd, Hulu and on youtube!
Ah the wonders of the modern age…anyway this is a great clip where Skeletor is bringing two captive earth children to Hordak, along the way however Skeletor begins to be taken over by the Christmas spirit-check him out as he inquires about Christmas and we begin to realize Skele ain’t such a bad dude afterall….
But folks that’s not all check out this rad little video that shows Skeletor once again being taken over by the spirit of Christmas-pretty awesome..
Well if any of you are starving for more here is the entire Christmas special in all it’s glory…
Ok so here’s fight number two of the greatest cartoon brawls! This time it’s He-Man and Skeletor facing off from the ultra-legendary episode called “The Arena”. This time however, Skeletor puts up a pretty good fight since for some reason normally in the cartoon he gets his ass totally served to him in about two seconds by He-Man! I am excited about this since for my recent birthday I recieved He-Man: Season One on dvd.
He-man was all the rage for me when I was a kid (In fact the picture above was a table placemat which of course I ate my food on all the time as a kid!). I had all the bad guys and that’s quite alot if you know anything about the He-man toyline! I didn’t bother too much with the good guys though I did have Stratos, Buzz-Off and Ram-Man. I really just learned from the cartoon that all you really needed was He-man to kick the shit out the bad guys-so why waste mom’s hard earned cash right? It was too bad however, in the cartoon the bad guys though somehow just as muscular as He-Man, were always kinda a bunch of royal pussies! Well here’s Skeletor in rare form when for once he wasn’t being a total wuss!
So if this is not proof that Hordak was the coolest thing to happen to Masters of the Universe i don’t know what is!! Really now, in the 80’s was there anything as rad as the Horde Slime Pit? I mean you could only watch Slimer “slime” people on the Ghostbusters and dream you could get slimed one day on Nickelodeon’s “You Can’t Do That On Television”. So when this Slime pit came out i think every kid in America nearly lost their goddamn minds! Hordak i love you but did you really have to bring along She-Ra with you to the Masters of the Universe?
Wow, i just found this commercial for Modulok-probably one of the most BAD ASS He-Man villains of all time! I used to have this guy and he was so much fun to put together and take apart. You could even pretend he man was ripping him to pieces. Plus check it out he even had his own theme song!! Man Hordak sure knew how to pick ’em….