Tagged: Movies

The Top 5 Holiday Horror Movies for December 2016!

It’s December 2016 is a time for some serious holiday celebration! Sure I’ll be watching a ton of the usual classics like Santa Claus: The Movie, Elf, Rudolph, Gremlins etc etc. However I’m going to be busting out the Christmas horror movies again this of course and hopefully here I’ll be able to give you a few ideas of some movies to check out if you’re feeling like mixing it up a bit this year. We all know about the classics like Black Christmas, Silent Night Deadly Night, last years instant classic Krampus. Well here’s a few you may have never heard of but you should definitely seek out this season!

3615 code Pere Noel / AKA ‘Deadly Games’ (1989)

A true lost & forgotten gem of a movie. If you search the net for Christmas Horror movies, you for some crazy reason won’t find this one on any of the lists. However this french film, which I first saw last year, is easily one of the best Christmas horror movies of all time. It’s a rare one and finding a version of it with subtitles can be pretty difficult, I got a copy off of Ioffer.com.

Searching this one out is totally worth it though as it plays out like the ultimate 80’s Amblin style “Home Alone” hybrid of a film. It screams of the 1980’s and features a super cool kid obsessed with action movies who lives in a gigantic castle style mansion. During a snow storm on Christmas eve, he finds himself home alone with his grandfather where the house becomes under siege by a crazed maniac who is convinced he’s Santa Claus & is hell bent on punishing all those who’ve been naughty. This one deserves a proper release and then it rightly deserves to be a new addition on ALL Christmas horror lists.

 

The Christmas Tale (2005) Continue reading

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The Top 10 “Stranded On An Island” Movies….Part 2!!

So my first entry I did on the top ten “stranded on an island” movies has easily been my most popular post here at Universal Dork, sooooo naturally I am giving a sequel to it right here, today! I simply love the idea of being castaway to a remote island, far away from the bustle of everyday life. There’s something about this idea that has always captivated audiences and it remains to be a situation I often think about every damn time I get on an airplane. So let’s not waste any time and get right to one of the most romantic, exciting and frightening movie topics of all time. It’s time to take a look at the other movies that deserve to be on this epic list!

10. Swept Away, 2002

Yeah this list is going to have some cheezy ass movies on it and this one here is a guilty please to start it off.  It’s also likely the most well known of the bunch. Of course this movie was a box office mega bomb and totally panned by the critics.

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However if you’re looking for a fun time on a stranded island with the legendary icon Madonna then look no further!

9. The Last Flight of Noah’s Ark, 1980

Here’s an interesting Disney movie with Silver Spoons star Ricky Schroder – Bonus right there folks! It seems that Disney was all in on the whole desert island theme as this was just one of quite a few that follow a similar storyline.

While this movie isn’t bound to blow your mind it’s got a pretty cool premise of flipping a B-29 bomber over on it’s back and sailing it to civilization! Continue reading

Best of VHS Box Art: Curtains and the Fear of Baby Dolls!!

Do you remember some of the movies that really scared you as a kid? Well for me ‘Curtains’ from 1983 was one of those that I remember only seeing one scene from on an episode of ‘At The Movies’ with Siskel and Ebert way back when. In fact this particular scene today is still pretty damn creepy, the whole movie however…..um…well let’s just say you can probably skip this one. When I was a little kid I was super frightened of old vintage baby dolls, I mean they’re legitimately creepy right? Well my mom had a few that she kept sitting in her room all on an old rocking chair and I’ll admit I really was scared shitless of em’! My older brother would often play pranks on me with them, putting them in my bed at night or having one jump around the corner at me at any given moment. It was after we saw this clip form the movie Curtains that really inspired him to take it to the next level of freaking me out. Ahhh..the good ol’ days of being a kid.

 

Well it just so happens that they decided to put the creepy ass baby doll (who’s really not in the movie much more than a minute) from the movie on the cover so that I can always be reminded of those freaky ass baby dolls of my youth. I’ll admit also this is a great VHS cover and it’s still likely to give me bad dreams. More recently I decided to face my fears and watch the movie for real and found that the movie itself is merely a third rate 80’s snooze of a slasher flick, however it does have that ONE scene that still to this day terrifies me! Of course Youtube has it all and here’s that exact fucking scene!!! Ahhhhh!!!!!

 

 

 

Stranger Things: Take Me Back to the Good Ol’ Creepy Days of the 80’s!

I’m quite excited about this cool new Netflix original series coming out July 15th! ‘Stranger Things’ has all of the vibes of those amazing Amblin style adventures that I grew up with as a kid. Judging from the trailer we’re getting a bit of an E.T., Poltergeist, Close Encounters and even a bit of a Goonies feel to this series.

The kind of movies where the heroes were kids in danger, the adults just wouldn’t believe a word they’d say, kids would cruise around unsupervised on BMX bikes trying to solve crazy mysteries. There’s something special about those movies that many directors over the recent years have tried to capture in movies like JJ Abram’s ‘Super 8’, Krampus and recently ‘The Midnight Special’. Add one of my biggest 80’s crushes, Winona Ryder to the mix and it so far looks like a surefire hit.

I just heard about this today as it kinda just came out of nowhere it seems but it’s one series I’ll be checking out the day it drops see the trailer for yourself and lets cross our fingers that this one captures the mystery of those old Stephen  King classics!

 

Best Of VHS Box Art: Dreamscape & Elm Street’s Shared Movie Universe?!

Ok so check this out, here’s two of my favorite movie covers /posters for two of the coolest 80’s movies ever! Dreamscape and A Nightmare on Elm Street, now I know that probably everyone is very familiar with the artwork of both of these BUT I found out recently something when I was trying to figure out if these two movies shared the same cover artist. They do not but they share something else quite sinister I found out. It turns out that the artwork of a Nightmare on Elm Street features a familiar face from the Dreamscape movie universe- OR perhaps it’s the other way around?! If you look closely first at the Dreamscape art done by Drew Struzan take note of the snake creature above the title, who makes several appearances in the movie:

 

Ok now let’s take a look at the equally incredible artwork by Matthew Peak who did the artwork first five Elm Street flicks. Look closely above the blade of the pinky finger on the right, do you see it? It’s the snake creature from Dreamscape…..

 

Here’s it blown up a bit…

 

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Both of these movies came out in  1984 and as I did more research on it it was indeed added by Matthew Peak as an homage and this could be proof that maybe just maybe Dreamscape and A Nightmare on Elmstreet are shared universes- Now if this took place today I’m certain you’d likely see Dennis Quaid in an Elm Street sequel where enters the dreams of Freddy’s victims and takes on Mr. Krueger himself! Damn what a missed opportunity-how awesome would that have been?!!!   

Best of VHS Box Art: Mutant Hunt!!

Hey here we are again for the second installment of The Best of the Box where I’m listing some of the best VHS box cover art of all time! Well this time I’m showcasing Mutant Hunt, which is a pretty fucking hilariously awful movie from 1987. However they really did the right thing when hired the artist for this one. As a kid I’d alway dug this one, but it wasn’t until more recently that I actually saw the movie. Cyborgs were the shit in the 1980’s and with the success of The Terminator it seemed that everyone and their uncle was trying to cash in on  the man machine phenomena! Track this one down and watch with a rowdy group you really can’t judge a book by it’s cover in this case! 

 

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice – A Boring, Emo Version of The Super Friends…

Well a couple nights ago I decided to check out Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and went in with a totally open mind. I had to briefly put my thoughts out there on this one and so sorry to say I just wasn’t feeling it. At all. It started out ok but with every minute it just became more of a disjointed, confusing mess. Some movies are messy and fun, but Dawn of Justice was just a flat out bore. Ben Affleck was a sufficient Bruce Wayne and Cavill of course was decent as Supes again but wow, this movie’s story felt like it was written by an eight year old and pace was that of a stoned three legged tortoise. Filled with plot holes galore, bad “gritty” grey filtering, fake ass CG, terrible dialogue, over stylized “emotional” imagery and one absolutely absurd ass villain. 

Yep this movie does have the worst Lex Luthor ever. Jesse Eisenberg was just absolutely terrible as one of the most iconic comic book villains of all time. This whiny, “I’m so totally crazy”, bratty, twenty something, Jolly Rancher eating Luthor was about as menacing as The Purple Pie Man from Strawberry Shortcake. His whole ridiculous, overplayed act took a huge dump on the legendary villain. Snyder’s clearly trying to make Luthor more relatable and cool to Millenials when he should have based the villain on an asshole like Donald Trump. I don’t care how much money this movie makes, it just totally sucks. It’s one giant, bloated set up for a slew of DC movies that are desperately trying to mimic Marvel’s recipe for success.

Unlike most of the Marvel this movies this has zero heart and it’s just no fun at all. It felt like a script lifted from an old Super Friends cartoon from the 1970’s but with Zack Snyder adding a mega douchey, “super gritty”, emo, “hip” spin on it. It also felt like it suffered from a serious case of bad editing? I guess Wonder Woman was pretty cool(she actually was the best thing about this mess), although kinda just crammed into the movie for the hell of it and Doomsday…ughh….why? Way to ruin that character too. Don’t get me started.

Ok so the movie was one time viewing for me, not in a good way, like you don’t need to see it again because of a crazy plot twist but in a way that I’d never waste two plus hours of my life again with something so damn uninspiring ever again. I’m also pretty sure I don’t really need to see another Zack Snyder movie for as long as I live….I’m officially over it.