Disney+: Bring Back Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker For One Last REAL Adventure!!

Bring. Back. Hamill. There I said it, I’ve been thinking about this for a while and now that I’ve accepted the fact that in reality Disney “Star Wars” is really nothing more than big budget fan fiction, my feelings on the sequel trilogy aren’t quite as enraging as they once were. That being said, I was pondering the one major thing most disgruntled fans were livid about in the “Sequel” trilogy and it’s hands down the portrayal & underwhelming demise of Luke Skywalker. I don’t need to explain anything at this point, it’s been talked to death over the last couple years. However I think you could really soften the blow of the “Sequels” if one bold move with a Disney Plus mini series, bring back Luke Skywalker from the Force in the flesh for one final curtain call.  

 

Ok, of course I know it sounds like a total long shot but why let the opportunity pass by without giving Luke a one last real adventure, with Hamill in the damn role?! Lets say, something like a 4 episode series like the proposed Obi Wan show? What if Luke had unfinished business, learned that he could return from The Force or was pushed back out of it against his will? We could finally have one last real adventure with him, R2, 3P0, Chewy, Lando and maybe a sequel character or new ones altogether? Is the Disney Star Wars universe really better without Luke in the flesh? Perhaps the series could go deeper into the lore of The Force entirely, focusing on more of the mystery behind it in a dimension jumping adventure?

Luke being forced to wield a lightsaber once again, perhaps living his older years on the physical plain? Something akin to the ‘Picard’ show but with more action and a more compelling reason for Luke to return? Maybe he gives up his right of entry back once he returns? What if he returned to reunite or help Mara Jade, perhaps she’s out there still and he was unaware of it? The possibilities for an ‘Old Man Luke’ mini series could be very compelling and it’d be a great way to right the wrongs of the sequel trilogy. It’d be a wonderful way to continue the current timeline having Hamill return for what fans were truly hoping for. I think it’d be the most epic tale and it’s a shame that our limited time with the character in the “sequels” was such a disappointment, so there’s still time to correct the Luke Skywalker problem, but it’d be a bold move. As it’s really just all fan fiction without Lucas, I’d see no harm in letting Luke come back for one last REAL adventure-what fan would not have a total blast with this? C’mon Disney make it happen, the Star Wars universe is a more exciting place with Master Luke getting to walk among the living one last time!! Let’s get this idea out there!!! Below is the one scene from The Last Jedi that imo makes the case for more Mark Hamill as Old Man Luke… 

Star of the 4th Best STAR WARS Movie Passes Away: R.I.P. Wilfred Brimley..

It’s come to my attention that Wilfred Brimley has sadly passed away, many knew him as simply the man telling us all to check our blood sugar in those vintage diabetes awareness commercials. However the truth is he starred in the fourth greatest Star Wars movie, ‘Ewoks: The Battle for Endor’. That is not a joke either and many others have also agreed when it actually comes to the Star Wars movies recently after much deliberation. It turns out that in reality, after the original trilogy, 1985’s ‘The Battle for Endor’ is indeed not only better than the Prequel Trilogy but also superior as well to all of the Disney “Star Wars” films.

Wilfred co-starred in the movie along with Warwick Davis (Wicket) for the George Lucas penned epic adventure, which I hope some day gets a blu ray release. Again, I am not kidding, ‘The Battle for Endor’ has aged extremely well, so much so that John Favreau even put a nod to the movie in The Mandalorian. Wilfred starred as Noa Briqualon and aided the Ewoks in an epic battle against evil forces. Wilfred also had an iconic role in 1982’s epic monster movie ‘The Thing’ & also another of my favorite 80’s films ‘Cocoon’. Wilfred had been sick for two months with a kidney ailment and his fight finally ended today. He was an icon in his own right and even appeared in a cool 90’s alien horror movie I just watched for the first time a few nights ago, ‘Progeny’. Rest in peace Wilfred and thanks again for your role in the 4th BEST Star Wars film of all time….. 

Stay At Home: Five RAD Forgotten 80’s Cult Cinema Gems to Revisit NOW!!!

Hey I’m back & I’m coming at you with 5 badass movie recommendations for everyone who’s staying home as much as possible due to the crazy ongoing crisis in the country. It’s definitely been a strange summer so far and it’s looking more and more likely that many states might go back on lockdown. So with that being said I think it’s a good idea to have some cool shit planned for those days ahead whether or not it ends up happening. I’ve got 5 flicks that you’ve got to check out if you’re a fan of 80’s and early 90’s cult/cinema/horror goodness! You know, movies that took place in far simpler, more totally rad times in general! So let’s get down to business-it’s been too long! 

Miracle Mile (1988)

Damn this movie was a great surprise, especially if you are obsessed with the 1980’s. Right off the bat, It’s got one of the coolest soundtracks around from the masters Tangerine Dream. It’s basically the story of a guy in L.A., in a brand new relationship, who late one evening randomly answers a ringing pay phone. He has a bizarre conversation with a soldier who claims to have secret info of a nuclear missile that’s currently headed there for a collision course with the city! There’s so much tension as he tries to figure out what the hell to do next and if the threat is even real at all. If it is he’d better come up with one helluva plan to get out of dodge, save himself and his new love before the city is turned to a big pile of rubble. It’s filled with thrills ‘a plenty, true heart, action, comedy, romance and a looming sense of impending doom that’s hard to shake! Track this down if you’re looking for a nearly all but forgotten pitch perfect 80’s gem. 

 

Full Eclipse (1993)

Yeah, Mario Van Peebles kicks major ass in this awesome early 90’s horror/action hybrid cult classic. It’s got a full on “Blade” vibe to it too as Mario plays a cop who bites off more than he can chew when he meets an elite group of vigilantes who get jacked up on a weird drug that mutates them into wolf like super humans. He eventually gets tricked into getting a dose of the drug and finds himself conflicted in the ranks of his new gang of “crime fighting” friends. Filled with frenetic action, lots of blood, cool fx and a big hairy ass werewolf, Full Eclipse is 90’s horror action gold. It also showcases Mario’s skills as an action hero that really deserved much more cred back in the day. I love that he basically becomes Wolverine with a gun! You can’t go wrong with this one, it’s kind of like werewolf vigilante version of The Lost Boys meets the X-men!  

 

 

Web of Deception (1989)

This rad little creepy Hong Kong thriller is a ton of fun! It’s got an all female cast of women who get tangled in a true “web of bloody deception” filled with evil double crossing and plenty of murder. A high profile business woman finds herself being blackmailed by a mysterious stranger right before she’s to relocate to Canada for a new job opportunity. Becoming more than obsessed in finding out who the crook is she’s soon stalked inside of her dimly lit mansion by the money hungry perp. Things get fully out of control & over the top as several “friendly” acquaintances find themselves wrapped up in the drama as well and soon no one is to be trusted. This absurd, darkly comedic thriller takes so many unbelievably fun twists and turns that you’ll have to turn your own suspension of disbelief up to 11, all the way to it’s crazy finale. Great sinister atmosphere & awesome evil females really prove that the ladies can be just as terrible as the men. It can be tuff to find, but it’s definitely worth the trouble to track down..

  

The Aftermath (1982)

Have you ever seen ‘Empire of the Dark’? If so you’re likely a big fan of Steve Barkett, the most unlikely of action heroes!! If you’ve never seen “Empire” you’ll likely wanna check ‘The Aftermath’ first, though not as ridiculously over the top as it’s predecessor it’s a great intro to the “younger” more “fit” version of Barkett. The Aftermath was written, directed, produced by & stars Barkett and you can definitely tell it’s the case because he’s always way on top of his damn game. It’s got a sort of ‘Planet of the Apes’ type of thing going on, as he plays an astronaut who returns to Earth after a nuclear holocaust to encounter evil gangs, mutants, beautiful women (of course right?) & main diabolical villain, Sid Haig! Barkett pours his heart and soul into making himself the best at damn near everything he attempts and really goes the distance with his limited budget to recreate a demolished cityscape. It’s a grimy world but Barkett is there to clean it up, save the ladies and take no prisoners. It’s a perfect midnight movie, filled with stupidly awesome action sequences and some sweet gore to boot! Double feature this one with Empire of the Dark from 1990 for the full “Barkett Experience’!!

 

Def by Temptation (1990)

Here’s probably the best Troma release outside of the ‘Toxic Avenger’, a great horror flick that simply deserves more love. One of the few early all black cast/directed horror movies make this a pretty unique viewing experience. The simple tale of an evil succubus who hangs out at a local big city bar to pick up skeezy womanizers and feed on their sinning souls! With a bit of a “Fright Night” vibe going on & a cast of interesting characters (plus a cameo from Samuel L. Jackson!) Def By Temptation def has a lot going for it. The ultra charismatic Kadeem Hardison leads this movie along with James Bond III (who’s sadly the weak link here) as two friends who become involved in the twisted web of the demonic woman, both falling hard for her one night while out at the bar. Add the awesome Bill Nun to the action and you’ve got a pretty well rounded cast of characters looking to get to the bottom of the mysteriously evil barfly. There’s some great 80’s fx here, comedy, gore and plenty of sexy exploits to behold. Much of the movie has a sort of dreamlike feel to it as well and the whole thing just looks fucking great. Super sleazy totally fun horror romp that many fans missed the first time around!  

VHS Verdict: BLACK SAMURAI is Over the Top 70’s Pulp at it’s Best!

Well I was able to check out the 1977’s ‘Black Samurai’ for the first time and I’m not quite sure why I put it off for so damn long, I think it might have something to do with the shoddy looking cover art on the VHS copy I had. Being a HUGE fan of ‘Enter the Dragon’ and having such an amazing time seeing ‘Black Belt Jones’ on the big screen here in Portland Oregon for the legendary Hollywood Theater’s Kung Fu Theater a few years back with a packed crowd I should have certainly done it sooner. Yep Jim Kelly is once again a total bad ass in some of the most outrageous scenarios of his whole career! The proof is in the poster alone…

So I really wouldn’t say he screams of a “Samurai” per say here in any real way even though there’s a brief scene of him messing around with a samurai sword. Here’s really more of a 007 James Bond type of guy here, an Agent of D.R.A.G.O.N. to be exact, who’s using his crazy kung fu skills to annihilate any asshole who he can get his damn hands on! And boy do throw some real wild ones his way for a total ass whooping. The whole plot revolves around Kelly hunting down a satanic black magic cult who’s kidnapped his lover, lead by the most geeky unthreatening, snake obsessed, white guy, villain boss I’ve surely laid my eyes upon. Kelly’s challenged by all sorts of his evil minions, tuff guy street thugs, tribal type warriors, insane little people with whips and most bizarre, the cult leader’s evil giant pet vulture! Yes he has a hand to hand battle with a damn vulture and also flies around in a jet pack, has a couple rad car chases and hangs at a mariachi party all while looking the most stylin’ and ripped as Bruce Lee while doing it all.

That’s not to say the sleazy cult director, Al Adamson makes it at all flow smoothly as there’s some seriously ridiculous yet fully satisfying martial arts battles here to gloriously behold. Jim Kelly still has the kick ass moves, but the crazy choppy editing and some of the perplexing overdubbed dialogue thrown into scenes has just got to be heard and seen to be believed! This certainly has got me on a Jim Kelly kick lately because this one was so satisfying, after this pandemic cools down I’m sure this one needs another play with a group of friends. It’s a full on train wreck of fun that plays out just like a grimy pulpy comic book adventure.

Jim Kelly’s one of the coolest 70’s action heroes and here in Black Samurai he proves once again exactly why he can’t be messed with especially if you decide that kidnapping his girlfriend is somehow a good move (it’s NOT). It’s well paced, throws everything but the kitchen sink at you and to be quite honest most of it sticks to the wall. From his rad track suits to his flashy sports cars, Kelly displays a suave, cocky swagger that never gets old. Let Black Samurai take you back to the 1970’s for on hell of an over the top adventure! Check this trailer out if you’ve never seen it before if you’re in doubt!

   Here’s a great interview with Jim Kelly:

 

WTF?! Arnold Schwarzenegger as ROBOCOP?!!

The world is a crazy place right now, so you might want to take a moment to disconnect from the madness just for a minute to see Arnold Schwarzenegger in the role of ROBOCOP!!! Ok that is all for today!! You may now go back to the regular scheduled programming!

VHS Box Art: Demon Cop, Psycho Cop & Maniac Cop-ALL too Relevant.

Times are crazy, amidst the pandemic something even more sinister has certainly arisen, a true tragedy involving once again United States law enforcement. It seems the cops are being exposed again as true corrupt enemies of the people and more importantly the poor and African Americans seem to be those most hurt by them. Here are a few old VHS covers featuring horrific COPS that today certainly seem once again relevant. The cops must now learn, that their actions are under the microscope of the citizens of America. The police will be policed…Derek Chauvin remains far worse than any horror film villain could ever be.

 

 


Will JESSE “The Body” VENTURA Body Slam Joe Biden & Suplex Trump in 2020?!

It’s an election year and things are sorta’ heating up here now that we have come down to just TWO candidates for the 2020 race. However it’s clear that once again we have two questionable people to choose from, the ridiculously terrible and uninspiring Republican President Donald Trump and now also the ridiculously terrible and uninspiring Democrat former Vice President Joe Biden!! Yes folks AND both of these guys have also been accused of being sexual Predators too! At this point it almost feels like a requirement here in the USA to be some sort of creep to run for public office, but hey that’s what we’re dealing with here in the good ol’ USA in the midst of the #metoo movement, go figure huh?

Well I posted a few weeks back, that former pro wrestling legend, mayor, governor, navy seal, 80’s action star Jesse Ventura was mulling the idea of jumping into the race with the Green Party for a Presidential run. Unfortunately it quickly was revealed that he’d decided against doing it. He’d have been a great addition to the race to get a second shot at defeating a Predator again or in this case two potential Predators! In the past couple days though I’ve seen the talk of his presidential run start coming back into the 2020 narrative yet again.

It seems his wife at the moment has potentially serious medical problems and they’re waiting for test results to see if she’ll be ok. The word is that if she ends up alright Jesse Ventura may still jump into the 2020 race. Anyway there’s a movement that just started called #draftjesse and there’s also a website: peopleforjesse.com where you can send him a message if you wanna see him run in 2020! Also a very strange tidbit of bizarre foreshadowing, as we know Matt Groening’s ‘The Simpsons’ & ‘Futurama’ have both oddly predicted things that in the future indeed came true- so check this out, as we see in an episode of Futurama, a President Jesse Ventura head in a jar in the background with other former Presidents! Seriously weird, maybe Matt Groening who’s been called a possible real life “time traveler” knows something we all don’t…..YET. Check it out.

In the meantime check out this video on why the Democrats and Republicans should fear him if he gets in the race! One thing is definitely certain at this point we deserve more options in 2020!!!

Bonkers Brazillian Supernatural Slasher Trailer: ‘SKULL: The MASK’!

I’ve been looking around for interesting movies during the lockdown and this one definitely looks like it’s got potential if you’re into crazy gooey practical fx and supernatural slashers. ‘Skull: The Mask’ comes from Brazil and the trailer looks pretty damn promising!

We follow the story of an ancient relic in the from of a creepy ass mask that turns it’s wearer into a rampaging maniac that looks like he just had a successful audition for GWAR!

“In the year 1944, an artifact is used in a military experiment. The artifact is the Mask of Anhangá, the executioner of Tahawantinsupay, a Pre-Columbian God. The experience fails. Nowadays, the Mask arrives at Sao Paulo. The Mask possesses a body and starts to commit visceral sacrifices on vengeance for the incarnation of its God, initiating a blood bath. The policewoman Beatriz Obdias is in charge of the crimes, challenging her beliefs”

Check this one out Horror hounds it looks like a ton of fun!

Movie Review: Old Dudes STILL Kick Ass in VFW!!!

I just checked out VFW, the latest from director Joe Begos (Almost Human, The Mind’s Eye) who returns with, in my opinion his best film yet! This sweet little gritty love letter to John Carpenter, which calls back to his classic ‘Assault on Precinct 13’ in big way, is also a blood soaked love letter to some older actors/action stars of yesteryear. We’ve got icons Fred Williamson, William Sadler, Stephen Lang, Martin Kove & even George Wendt from ‘Cheers’ to make this bar room brawl even more authentic!

The story kicks off on a special birthday night for VFW bar owner “Fred” and his tight knit gang of bad ass war veterans. The evening quickly turns into wild all-out battle for their lives when a teen punk rock girl crashes their party with a sack full of ‘hype’. This new drug basically turns people into demented maniacs, with a hunger for more hype at any cost. The evil punk drug dealer, desperate to get his valuable stash back, sends his gang of gnarly addicts on a rampage to get it back. When these mutant punks on a rampage storm the bar looking for the teen, the old vets along with a younger soldier get to relive the gory glory years of war one more time. They unleash their pent of rage and fury using every weapon they can get their hands on to protect the girl and try annihilate the horde of drug addled maniacs. However these messed up punks have hype running through their veins and want more, risking anything to their grimy paws on it.

If you’re a fan of old school action flicks from the 70’s & 80’s you’re going to really get a kick out of VFW. The gore is pretty over the top, done in a such a cartoony way that people literally explode on screen. As a fan of practical fx Begos always delivers the goods with some wild splatter, he also keeps the vibe placed firmly in the golden days of the action era, with not a cell phone in sight. It also feels like an 80’s flick, with stunning neon lit sets within the walls of the cool old dank dive bar.

The real highlight of this is the cast of old codgers who do the majority of the ass kickin’. It’s absolutely delightful to see the likes of Fred Williamson & The Karate Kid’s Martin “Sensei” Kove in full on action mode as well as Stephen Lang, William Sadler and the younger soldier played by Tom Williamson. They’re all great here and give this film the cred it deserves proving age is just a number when it comes to cinematic butt kicking. I really enjoyed VFW, it’s the perfect modern midnite movie and gets so much praise for bringing in some old icons into the mix of onscreen mayhem. Check this out if you’re a fan of 70’s/80’s cult action horror flicks- And here’s to hoping VFW gets a sequel bringing even more of the bar’s patrons into the fold, hand picking some more old nearly forgotten bad asses to do some damage one last time! 

Totally Crazy 80’s Indonesian Horror Mayhem: Mystics in Bali!

Mystics in Bali’ from 1981 is truly one one wild and crazy Indonesian horror flick and just what I was craving during lockdown! My first viewing of this gem would have admittedly been better had I not known a damn thing about the plot, so if you’re reading this and are interested, I’d suggest checking it out blindly to get maximum enjoyment! So you’ve been warned…

Anyway I’m kinda new to the whole Indonesian cult cinema scene, but I can say so far everything I’ve checked out has been pretty top notch. Mystics in Bali is 100% weird and wild. It follows an American named Cathy who travels to Bali to do extensive research for her book on the mystic ways of the mysterious black magic cult of the Leyak. She meets the handsome Mahendra a local man with knowledge of the dark local magic who also happens to have connections to a woodland witch. He takes her out to the forest to her lair and the bizarre woman vows to expose the secrets of the dark arts and their rituals to Cathy. Excited to get this exclusive info for her book she continues to meet the witch, who in turn tricks her into becoming her evil minion, transforming her into a Penanggalan, a horrific flying head with internal organs hanging from her neck!! GAAAHHHH!

Things go from bad to worse, as Mahendra has fallen in love with Cathy by this point and has no other choice than to ask his uncle Machessea practitioner of magic himself, to help him stop the witch and save Cathy from the curse of the sinister Leyak. This leads to a pretty epic battle towards the end making the whole thing a such a bizarre slice of foreign 80’s horror, it’s most definitely essential viewing for genre fans! There’s a pretty intriguing story here to fuel the horror as well along with the sets and general locale of the film make this a special treat by just that alone. There’s also some low budget but fully ambitious special effects at play here that really amp up the general madness of this movie. Also prevalent are a few relatively shocking moments here that are unlike anything I’ve personally ever seen before in a horror flick.

Some “must see” sequences that will stick with fans of the genre and leave you scratching your head in disbelief! The creature Cathy becomes is clearly the main attraction here and surely is one of the freakiest movie monsters I’ve seen in some time. The final showdown is a pretty great time as well, sure it’s a clunky battle, but it’s a ton of fun to behold. It’s no wonder that this movie was done by the same director, H. Tjut Djalil who also brought us the mega bonkers ‘Lady terminator’ which is def worth tracking down! I’ve also heard that his movie ‘Dangerous Seductress’ is quite a wild gem as well. So..Mystics in Bali is a true oddball, one of a kind horror flick and leads me further down the path of an era of movies other countries were producing during the 80’s that rival some of the best the USA had to offer-Check it out!