Comic Cover of the Week: John Byrne’s Super-JOKER!

So sooner or later The Joker was bound to get tired of Gotham and Batman! 1987’s Superman #9 has one hell of an awesome cover by John Byrne and the story is pretty fun as The Joker stops by Metropolis to make people go crazy with his deadly laughing gas! He’s also managed to bring along a robot Superman with a freakin’ nuclear bomb inside, thats when Superman steps onto the scene! He easily foils the Joker’s plan asking point blank why he came to Metropolis, Joker simply laughs and says “Ooh Superman…Why not?”

What I really love here is just seeing seeing The Joker on the cover of a Superman comic, something we rarely, if ever, had seen before this. It’s always great I think when we see a traditional villain of one superhero square off against another. Byrne captures the Joker in his own unique way here on this amazing cover I want on a t-shirt! My only issue is I wish The Joker had been able to give Superman a better run for his money!

 

4th Best Star Wars Movie ‘Ewoks: Battle for Endor’ Now on Disney Plus!

Ohhhhhhh yeah! Ewoks haters take note-The 4th best Star Wars movie, after the Original Trilogy (or if you’re a prequel fan it might be the 7th best Star Wars movie), has arrived on Disney Plus! Yes 1985’s almost forever lost and forgotten ‘Ewoks: Battle for Endor’ is now on the streaming service along with it’s much inferior prequel ‘Caravan of Courage’. Many OT fans have been severely disappointed by the the “Sequel Trilogy” and have only recently found solace in The Mandalorian, but ‘Battle for Endor’ is OG Star Wars all the way. To give it even more street cred than the “Sequel Trilogy” it was actually written by Star Wars creator himself George Lucas. The whole vibe of the movie screams of the Original Trilogy. 

There’s a surprisingly dark little story at the heart of ‘The Battle for Endor’ and whether you like it or not, OT character Wicket is iconic, played by Warwick Davis once again, is back for a feature length adventure. It’s filled with all the cool creatures, special effects, weird settings and even some of the heart of OT Star Wars that was largely missing in the “Sequel Trilogy”. We’re also treated to some very colorful villains and FYI the creatures in which Nick Nolte’s brilliant character Kuiil rides around in the desert (called Blurrgs), make their first appearance in this Ewok Adventure.

Yeah, thanks John Favreau, I know you too are a fan of Battle for Endor! This also features the late great Wilfred Brimley in a surprisingly spry action packed role. So if you’ve been craving 80’s Star Wars and have never seen this sweet little gem of a movie, by all means now’s the time to check it out! I’m personally hoping that maybe this will inspire a Disney Plus Ewoks series, we can see what the hell the older wiser Wicket has been up to and of course get Warwick in the role!

U-Dork on the Movie Melt Podcast: Revisiting 2019’s Weird Ass ‘BUTT BOY’!

I never thought I’d go back and give 2019’s ‘Butt Boy’ a damn re-watch, butt here I am back on the damn ‘Movie Melt‘ podcast where I was invited to give my two cents worth on the weird ass movie I review right HERE! Yeah for some reason ‘Butt Boy’ was nominated to be the feature presentation on the podcast, probably because of it’s totally bizarre premise that really has to be seen to be believed.

That being said, this flick is most definitely not for everyone imo and I’ve stated here before I’m still not quite sure if I liked the damn thing myself. Even so I’ll state again if you don’t know what the hell I’m even talking about with this movie, that I suggest just going into it completely cold and letting things unfold. It’s an interesting experience to say the least. If you’re a fan of the movie we’ve got more info on the film and the director than anywhere else on the net. 

So check out the ‘Butt Boy’ or just listen to Movie Melt where we all discuss movies you should be checking out, do some wild cinematic trivia and of course talk about one of the most perplexing movies of the last decade, Butt Boy in all of it’s glory…

George Lucas’ Sequel Trilogy Finally Revealed!!

It’s no secret, I’ve said it before many times here, the Disney “Sequel Trilogy” sucks!! Of course if you enjoyed it that’s completely fine with me, in fact I wish that I would have loved the damn thing and believe me I reeeeeeally tried too! But the story was a god damn flimsy, generic mess and quite frankly clearly a corporate soul-less cash grab. Most importantly we must note it was at best high budget fan fiction, it wasn’t the vision of the creator George Lucas. The sad thing is that when he sold Star Wars to Disney he also handed them his treatment for episode 7 through 9, that would complete his true vision of the full arc of Star Wars the way it was intended to be all along. But of COURSE, instead of using that, the sell out corporate overlords at Disney decided they needed some sort of carbon copy retelling of the original trilogy disguised as a “sequel”. In true Hollywood fashion, we got served up a supreme shit sandwich of course!

This has left legions of Star Wars fans wondering just what the real story was from the true vision of the creator and now it’s finally been revealed! ‘Star Wars Theory’ the biggest and best YouTube channel about Star Wars put out a great video yesterday where he combed the epic recently released ‘Star Wars Archives’ book and gathered all of the information of just what George Lucas had intended for the real story! Everything he describes sounds pretty incredible especially compared to what we were slung from JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson’s poorly concocted fiction. Take a listen here to see what George had planned and maybe, just maybe how Jon Favreau and Dave Filoni might be following George’s original ideas in the Mandalorian! One thing is for certain George had a real story planned, I think it’s time Disney revealed his full treatment, so we all know what really happened to our favorite iconic characters……

 

Comic Cover of the Week: The Original 80’s FLAG SMASHER!

So with all of the talking hype around the Falcon and the Winter Soldier series on Disney Plus, I thought it would be a good idea to post the cover from Captain America # 312, from 1985!

Here we get a good look at the original vision of the Flag Smasher, who now I guess represents some sort of terrorist organization instead of a all-out supervillain. This issue was actually a favorite of mine as a kid and of course I always love some Paul Neary artwork! I can’t lie, part of me really wishes that this guy would have been the one appearing on the new show!

 

‘The Maestro: Symphony of Terror’ A Bizarre New Genre of Horror Cinema!

I’ve mentioned S.P. Somtow here recently several times after discovering his long all but lost 1989 horror cult classic flick ‘The Laughing Dead’. If you’re a fan of gory, gooey 80’s horror comedies ala ‘Evil Dead 2′ then I definitely encourage you to track that film down asap. It sits in that sweet spot of the golden era of horror that I love so damn much and it’s desperately in need of a real release here in the good ol’ USA, as back in the late 80s for some reason it was only released overseas. A cool blu ray release would immortalize it as a bonafide lost genre favorite!!

Apparently the director has sadly stated he’s lost track of the film’s original prints over the years and even mentioned if he could find it he’d like to make a new cut of the movie. That doesn’t necessarily mean the print doesn’t exist anymore, but perhaps there just needs to be some sleuthing around perhaps to find them! Ok, so not only was he responsible for ‘The Laughing Dead’ but also much more in the horror genre, he’s also a cult horror novelist. Known primarily for his 1984 book ‘Vampire Junction’, which I’m planning on tracking down soon. Well now it’s come to my attention that he has a new horror movie in the works, “Maestro: Symphony Of Terror” that is currently in production in Thailand.

“The Maestro is a loving tribute to the cult classics of the past, that was conceived by acclaimed filmmaker Paul Spurrier and bestselling author and musician S.P. Somtow, It’s shot with the speed and energy of the classic horror thrillers while maintaining the wild inventiveness, ironic tone and relentless imagery that made those films immortal. It’s a story of a genius provoked and pushed into madness and beyond, The Maestro tells the story of Arun, a composer and conductor who tried to make it in Europe but has ended up teaching high society children in a Thai shopping mall.  For years, he has been composing a magnum opus, The Tongues of Angels, and dreams of premiering it under his own baton.  It is a work of transcendence, of wildness … and a touch of madness.” Here’s a sneak preview recently released:

I’m excited to check this one out it and see just what this bizarre horror flick has to offer! In the meantime let’s track down the original prints of ‘The Laughing Dead’ for a slick blu ray release and let that build the hype machine for ‘Maestro: Symphony of Terror’! 

 

 

There Is NO Way The Falcon Needs a Damn Loan from a Normie Bank!!

So I just watched the first episode of The Falcon & The Winter Soldier, I thought it was good, not like mind blowing or anything yet at least, but pretty decent all around. There is however, one damn big ass elephant in the room though. Sam Wilson is BROKE? WTF? I’m just not buying this one at all folks. Ok so you mean to tell me one of the top tier Avengers, who just helped save the enitre planet, has a multi billion dollar, state of the art, robotic winged flying costume & flying robotic weapon companion, good pal of Tony Stark, heir to the mantle of Captain freakin’ America, who gives speeches at The Smithsonian needs a damn loan from a freakin’ normie ass small town bank?!! And can’t get one approved?

Ummm…This is more unbelievable than any Norse god appearing on Earth or whatever wild time travel shit we all witnessed. Seriously is this just bad writing? C’mon, no way Sam doesn’t have major $$$ from government contracts or being part of the damn Avengers initiative!! He’d at this point have to have some severe high stakes gambling addiction to need to go to a local bank and plead with a lowly wise ass bank teller for some damn chump change. His opening mission alone in the show was probably at least letting him pocket a couple million! The guy is one of the most elite super soldiers on the entire planet-He really needs to plead with some damn asinine bank teller?! Um…Ok..what the holy hell is going on here?!

They’d better have a good explanation here in the “wings” because so far that’s got to be one of the most stupid pills to swallow in the entirety of the MCU!! ‘Nuff SAID!!! 

1978, the Year of The Incredible Hulk’s Elastic RAGE?!!

I’m all about some Hulkin’ out retro style! So I ran across this awesome old 1987 Incredible Hulk “Rage Cage” toy commercial where you literally pump the Hulk up to get his aggression level maxed out so he can break himself out of damn cage. Like even the calmest Hulk would be able to bust those bars, but hey it’s the effort here by the toymaker here that’s so charming. They just don’t make em like this anymore true believers! Check it out!

Ok well still not satisfied? Let’s check out this one, where for some reason The Hulk & Spider-man are endowed with the elastic super power of Reed Richards?!! Ok well whatever-this commercial is what it’s all about when it comes to simpler times! Check THIS shit out!!

 

Comic Cover of the Week: Banner’s Haunting Hulking 1980’s Fever Dream!

One of the most unique comic book covers the Jade Giant ever received has got to be from The Incredible Hulk #294, way back in April of 1983. I love the covers from this period, as you never quite knew what to expect, sometimes covers would be hand painted, or sometimes even photographs. It was all quite unpredictable in the best way possible. Today the slick artwork done completely via computer can be initially quite stunning but can also have a sterile feel to it and the weird glossy “paper(?)” they’re printed on doesn’t help give them any extra charm. Issue #294 though is what comic book covers are all about, painted brilliantly by Ken Steacy. This issue also features the wild moment, of Bruce transforming into The Incredible Hulk COMPLETELY naked while lathering up in the shower! Check that out right HERE! This is all just a couple more reasons why I miss the 1980’s so damn much…

Spielberg’s Awesome WTF Sequel Treatment – ‘E.T. 2: NOCTURNAL FEARS’!

I’ve joked with friends for many years about Steven Spielberg’s classic film E.T. having a sequel made, that was only released for audiences overseas. I mean of course I’d want a sequel to the movie, but not some pile of shit that’s made today where they fuck everything up with bad “special” overblown fx, a cut and paste recycled plot and a cast of terrible new characters “who are passed the torch” from the beloved but neglected older now sidelined classic ones. Well come to find out that Spielberg was indeed planning a sequel to E.T. back in 1982! He even wrote a story treatment for it that he actually turned in and while it’s not at all what you’d expect, it’s something just weird enough to have been the WTF cult classic E.T. deserved!

While The A.V. Club recently stated we should “be glad the cancelled sequel never got made” I say we should be downright enraged the cancelled sequel never saw the light of the silver screen. Officially titled ‘E.T. 2: Nocturnal Fears’ you can tell this thing would have been right up my damn alley. Yep, think of more of an alien abduction horror tinged adventure for Elliot & fam this time. In Steven’s sweet nine page treatment, he amps up the Amblin “kids in danger” factor to eleven. Elliot, Michael and Gerty are sorely missing life without E.T. by their side, they still long to reunite with him again someday often gazing into the night skies. Well just as their world seems to turn mundane, they once again discover an alien craft at night in the woods nearby. Baffled, they assume it must be E.T’s return to them. However, what’s on board this time around are not so friendly, something far more terrifying: white skinned humanoid extraterrestrial carnivores, sporting huge red eyes and razor sharp fangs.

It’s not by coincidence either they land in the woods nearby, as they’re in search of their old pal E.T. & a few steps behind him in pursuit. It turns out they’re at odd’s with E.T.’s race and have come to Earth for any information on his whereabouts. Oh yeah the creatures also mutilate cattle and raise hell in the suburbs. Elliot, Gerty and Mike are pursued relentlessly by them in a game of cat and mouse and are eventually captured, where they’re tortured for info on their pal E.T.’s whereabouts. Elliot is so traumatized by their wicked methods of interrogation that at one point his blood curdling scream sends a emotional signal deep through the outer reaches of space to his old alien friend. Of course E.T. wastes no time and immediately rushes back on a mission to save his human companions from the clutches of his evil alien rivals. It’s also revealed E.T.’s real name is ‘Zrek’! Yowza COUNT ME SO IN!

The A.V. Club obviously doesn’t know a cult classic 80’s sequel if it punched them in their freakin’ face! Apparently Spielberg decided to back off the sequel because he thought it’d ruin the innocence of the original movie. Deeming it too dark and simply based too much in horror. Take a look at the concept designs for Rick Baker’s evil aliens, for the unmade ‘Night Skies’ that were also rumored to be considered for ‘Nocturnal Fears’:

So this is clearly to me at least an awesome sequel, and in an alternate reality would’ve been a classic, though likely a box office bomb. Spielberg could have had Tobe Hooper direct this thing too! Part of me wishes they’d pull this treatment out of the old dusty file cabinets and just give us THIS sequel today! Keep the same basic story, but have the original cast reunite, older now with their families deal with this identical situation and reunite with E.T. , I mean Zrek, sorry! As much as I’d love this I can only assume some greedy Hollywood execs would step in to trash the story, killing off Elliot, Gerty & Mike in the opening scene or something lame and then throw in a bunch of shitty CGI aliens and have E.T. die before he can see his old friends. There’d also probably be a new “E.T.” in his place that was more in line with current online trends somehow. So for now ‘E.T. 2: Nocturnal Fears’ will just have to get a special place in my mind as the ‘what if’ sequel that should have been. Check out this extensive look at Steven Spielbergs story treatment in this Youtube video, beware though this Youtube channel also seems to think the script sucks(WTF?), clearly this person doesn’t know a sweet sequel when he sees it – c’mon people!!: 

Oh and if you’re still craving an E.T. sequel here’s that weird Xfinity commercial they decided to make instead of a real sequel: