Movie Review: ‘Don’t Kill It’ – Dolph Lundgren The Demon Hunter!
I finally got a chance last night to check out the latest Mike Mendez (Big Ass Spider, The Gravedancers, The Convent) horror movie starring none other than one of my fave 80’s action icons Mr. Dolph Lundgren! What we’ve got here is a pretty sweet lil’ horror / action hybrid that’s likely to please any fan of good ol’ Dolph. It puts Jebidiah Woodley (Lundgren) front and center as grizzled demon hunter who strolls into a small town where a recent string of murders has got the folks in a panic. It should be noted that this adventure takes place during Christmas time! You gotta appreciate that! I’m always looking for movies to watch during the holiday season especially horror! Ok so he tries to convince the local cops that something supernatural is afoot but of course they all just think he’s some crazy ass dude and end up locking him away for a night in jail. They soon figure out though Jebidiah ain’t all that crazy after all as they come face to face with a creepy possessed killer while he’s locked up. Lundgren is quickly freed and leads the police on a bit of a wild goose chase to find the pesky demonic killer.
It’s a nice simple plot, short and sweet. The movie’s barely 80 minutes long but packs a fair amount of excitingly gruesome scenes into it’s short run time. ‘Don’t kill It’ is a damn good time, it’s an old fashioned 80’s style movie that borrows a bit from the Denzel Washington/John Goodman horror thriller ‘Fallen’. Heck this one could almost be considered some sort of sequel despite the tonal differences of the two. Lundgren totally shines here and is utilized in exactly the way I hoped he’d be, more like an Ash type anti-hero who cracks his fair share of one liners while thoroughly kicking evil ass. He’s easily the best thing about this one and I’m already hoping that we see him return for a sequel that brings him into the fold of even more insane mayhem. The only real problem is that the movie maybe peaks a little to soon as it’s shining moment takes place about one third of the way through. A town hall meeting gone incredibly wrong becomes an insanely grotesque show of over the top action, comedy & gore. Continue reading
Wrapping The Oscars Up With One Movie: Creed!!
I’m going to voice my opinion here quick on The Oscars this year, there’s been a lot of complaints and controversy about it this time because of it’s lack of racial diversity in it’s list of nominees. Here though at Universal Dork the awards are a simple process. I’ve seen a LOT of movies this year and there were some damn good ones, but when we think of the Oscars there’s certainly a “type” of movie that’s normally the winner. For instance I’d probably include ‘Krampus’ or ‘What We Do In Shadows’ on a list if I were in charge of shit. Well we all know that THOSE types of movies aren’t Oscar material so looking on to the big major heartfelt/drama flicks of 2015 one movie comes to mind that just feels right to me, without even having to consider race and really solves all the problems people are having this year with the Oscars. That movie is ‘Creed’.
Yep I honestly don’t think there’s any movie in 2015 that fits the bill of deserving best picture. This movie was the only flick that actually caused me to well up in tears more than once. Yeah and it’s a Rocky movie! I’d go on to say that this one is just as powerful as the first. It brings the movie full circle but isn’t a carbon copy of the original, it delivers quite an interesting story and continues the saga of the Rocky franchise in a truly realistic and heart wrenching/warming tale.
Heck, director Ryan Coogler should most definitely be up for best director too, seriously, they need to give this film a ton more love for everything he put into it. Writer, director, screen play, he made it happen and did a brilliant job. So I’m baffled Coogler & the movie weren’t even nominated. Both should be on the nominations list and it should win best picture. Period.
Next I think it’s main star Michael B. Jordan should undeniably be up for best actor this year. It’s a crime he didn’t make the list. He’s come a long long way as an actor and in the case of Creed he’s the perfect actor to play Apollo Creed’s son. He’s so convincing in the role I think any other actor may have made this movie feel like an inside joke. Jordan takes the franchise and runs with it in his own direction and gives us all a completely new breed of underdog to root for. So yeah everyone bitching about the “Oscars so white” should be demanding Jordan’s presence instead of whining about Ice Cube Jr. in the bland retelling of N.W.A.’s “real story” in ‘Straight Outta Compton’. Performances don’t come much better than Jordan’s. So yeah the Oscar’s fucked up big time.
Lastly if Stallone at least doesn’t take home the “Best Supporting Actor” award home with him for his portrayal of Rocky Balboa in Creed then we’ll have another crime on our hands! At least he got a nomination, the fact that he didn’t win best actor for Rocky back in 1977 is ridiculous. Hell, Sly should have won best actor for First Blood and his role of Balboa in 2006. Let’s face it ‘Rocky Balboa’ was a fantastic movie as well, but somehow Stallone topped his performance there in last year’s Creed. He goes well beyond the distance here giving his best performance perhaps of his career. Stallone brings the legacy of Rocky Balboa here to new heights and it’s clear his heart was in it 110%. Sly’s is an incredible actor, director and writer. It’s a shame he’s not given more real cred by so called film critics. Perhaps this year at least he’ll get what he deserves finally, an Oscar. You messed up big time this year Hollywood….
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Trailer…not so Amazing…
The Amazing Spider-man 2 trailer dropped today and I swear I’m trying to have an open mind about it! But True Believers, let’s be honest, if you are an actual real comic book fan of Spider-man then I know you agree this movie’s shaping up nicely to be a giant flaming Electro-cuted sticky Green Rhino-cerous TURD!!
I’m not gonna spend too much time on this depressing topic, because it’s really not surprising at all. Thus far it looks more like a pilot to a video game than to an actual movie. This trailer sports some downright uninspired CGI and some simply wretched versions of the some of Spidey’s most famous villains!
First we’ve got a CG version of Jamie Foxx as Electro flying around like the tooth fairy sporting his new bad ass American Apparel hoodie…
Next we’ve got Paul Giamatti as ‘The Rhino” driving around a tank with horns looking like a reject out of a Michael Bay Transformers flick.
Lastly what angers me most is this new “Green Goblin” or as I like to call him: lame James Franco Goblin version 2.0. Seriously we get another shot of having an awesome Green Goblin, one of the most amazingly rad looking comic book villains of all time and you give us THIS stupid shit AGAIN?!!
Wow we’ve reached new lows here with Spider-man. I guess at the very least Spider-man looks like Spider-man, I mean they cant fuck that up right? Add on a story that looks like it was Sam Raimi’s rejected first draft for Spider-man 3 and we’ve got a total clusterfuck for true Spider-man fans. What a shame. Oh yeah in case you all think I’m just a big whiny baby here’s what the villains of Spider-man 2 should have looked like..
Finally people quit telling me that they couldn’t make these costumes work because they would not translate to film well. This is a movie of a comic book, we don’t need it to look real world style. It’s based on a fucking comic book. What’d be so wrong with keeping it that way?