Category: Horror Whore

A RETURN TO SALEM’S LOT: Is Bill Burr Secretly Michael Moriarty’s SON?!

I have a new favorite vampire flick: Return to Salem’s Lot!  It’s surely no secret that Larry Cohen has made some amazing movies, ‘The Stuff’, ‘Q The Winged Serpent’, ‘God Told Me Too’ & ‘It’s Alive’  are considered among his best. However, recently I viewed his 1990 totally underrated & under-seen gem ‘The Ambulance’. It luckily inspired me to go back to check out some of his movies I might have missed out on and the sequel to ‘Salem’s Lot’ from 1987 is in my opinion is one of the best vampire movies of that decade! What took me so long to finally see it?!  The only thing I can think of is that is that I’d watched the Tobe Hooper ‘Salem’s Lot’ Mini series from ’79 and found it good but also a bit slow moving.  I simply figured for so long long that the sequel was yet just another mediocre TV mini series, well that couldn’t have been further from the truth.

So yet again Larry Cohen is at the top of his game in an incredibly colorful tale of ravenous small town bloodsuckers, jam packed with witty dialog, sweet 1980s special effects and of course some totally memorable heroes to cheer for as well as vampirous villains to hate! Michael Moriarty like in The Stuff, leads the cast, and after watching both of these movies basically back-to-back I came to a startling conclusion. Is it possible Michael Moriarty Is actually Bill Burr’s dad?! 

The similarities are stunning! Am I the only person who’s ever thought of this? They look like father and son to me & even speak and sound like the blood relatives! Throughout the movie I couldn’t help but picture Burr  in the role speaking all of the lines, in fact, even though I’m normally against remakes, if they ever do one I would love to see Burr in the role.

Hey next time YOU watch either The Stuff or Return to Salem’s Lot, make sure to  Keep this in mind and you tell me if I’m crazy. I think the similarities are at the very least quite hilarious.

 OK so now that I got that off my chest, I wanna at least mention how awesome the foul mouthed teen son played by Ricky Addison was, only to be rivaled by the potty mouthed pre-teen kid in the 1989 wildly unseen gem ‘The Laughing Dead’! He’s also got some great Corey Haim/Don Johnson-esque “Miami Vice” style as well, this kid is quite the spectacle I’d say.

But that’s not all, the movie’s secret weapon is the old but surprisingly spry, Jewish, Nazi hunter played by Samuel Fuller. He joins the gang, setting his sights on the wicked undead inhabitants of Salem’s Lot! He’s a cool classic horror hero that quite frankly needs a lot more love and that’s one thing Cohen really excels at is bringing memorable characters to the big screen.

Yes there is plenty to love here for eighties horror fanatics, A wildly unpredictable albeit ridiculous plot, a sweet spooky setting and some awesome vamps! Don’t believe me check this dude out!

The kind of vampires who don’t just sport the fake teeth, nope we get some bonafide monster vamps with animatronic faces to amp up the mayhem. I’m not sure what took me so long to finally check this out but I’m glad I did as it’s now become one of my favorites standing above most vampire movies of the 1980s. But most impressively featuring Bill Burr’s father?! Hey you never know right? I got it on a sweet blu ray via Shout Factory that looks beautifully bloody!

80’s Midwest Horror ‘BACK FROM HELL’ on the Movie Melt Podcast!

Happy Friday the 13th! Lookin’ for something spooky to listen to? Well here’s the latest episode of The Movie Melt Podcast featuring yours truly where we cover 1988’s midwestern forgotten no budget horror flick ‘Back From Hell’! Yep take a listen right HERE for the scoop on all sorts of useless cinematic information to fill your brain with and a shitload of cool movies you should be checking out right now!

This sweet little horror flick follows a renegade priest who teams up with his old highschool buddy, who just so happened to sell his soul to the DEVIL to try and make it big as an actor in Hollywood!! They battle the undead, possessed cops & killer bibles!! Directed by cult Michigan director Matt Jaissle better known for his gross out horror classic ‘The Necro Files’ this episode is a must for fans of backyard film making and just loads of cinematic fun facts and nonsense Check out MOVIE MELT & The Companeros Radio Network!

Check out the trailer for ‘Back From Hell’!

 

 

 

Stan Winston’s Incredible Forgotten Monster Creation in 1998’s ‘CREATURE’!!

So I really wasn’t expecting much at all when I came across this dvd in a bargain bin, but dammit 1998’s ‘Creature’ somehow delivered exactly what I love! With a run time of almost 3 hours long I really expected to be bored out of my gord, but with a solid cast of great actors like Craig T. Nelson, Giancarlo Esposito & Kim Cattrall it was off to a great start. Taking place on a beautiful breathtaking Caribbean island also sealed part of the deal as well, but really what immediately caught my eye in the opening credits was Stan Winston being credited with the creature fx! Still though a tv mini-series from 1998 would more than likely end up being a snoozer, quite the contrary!

 

We have two shark researchers, Craig T. Nelson and his ex-wife Kim Cattrall, as beautiful ever, along with their teenage son ready to get into some serious trouble in paradise. A rogue great white shark is killing people around the island, but this one’s ready to eat “Jaws” for breakfast. The secret weapon of what might have been a forgettable mini series if of course Stan’s mutant monster shark!

This creature is one of his best creations too and luckily it doesn’t just stay hidden until the very end. We get plenty of monster mayhem to behold and also a great performance from Giancarlo Esposito, of recent Mandalorian fame to up the ante here even more.

Even with its rather hefty run time it never drags, likely due in part to its charming cast of characters, bad Caribbean accents and of course some gooey creature craziness make this an entertaining little adventure. It’s also got decent production value, sweet cinematography, the lush setting of St. Lucia in the 90’s along with some pretty well done action and genuinely thrilling moments of horror. It’s stunning too that somehow one of Stan Winston’s coolest creatures made it into this forgotten gem. All practical fx too! I didn’t see a lick of CGI here.

If you dig his work this is simply a must watch. I did it in two sittings and after the first half I was hungry to finish the second half. This actually already has a blu ray that’s quite easy to get, I also think it’d be pretty sweet if someone trimmed it down with a lean edit to an hour and a half or so. There’s a pretty rad monster “movie” that could be crafted from the miniseries. Still tho at its current length even, it’s a fun, creepy, carribean vacation that monster flick fanatics should embark on!

IRON MAIDEN Returns With Animated Metal Mayhem!

Legendary epic power metal band Iron Maiden has just dropped a brand new god damn song called ‘The Writing on the Wall’ which is accompanied by a brand new fully animated video that channels the cult classic style of the 1980’s movie ‘Heavy Metal’!

This 7 and a 1/2 minute long fully animated music video showcases a post apocalyptic distopian future with warring global factions hellbent on  ending all civilization. It also features plenty of action, cyborgs, monsters and ghostly motorcycle riding wraiths. All with a soundtrack by the epic band. It also features their mascot Eddie in a battle to the death against the evil forces that plague the planet!  At this point we can only speculate and hope that a new album is right around the corner- Maiden fans rejoice! 

V-FORCE Trailer: Low Budget Superheroes vs. Billy Zane in PDX!

Well I just discovered that ‘V-Force: New Dawn of V.I.C.T.O.R.Y.’ a superhero flick that was filming way back in 2017 here in Portland Oregon has finally got a trailer up! Why do I care about some low grade superhero movie that’s been in post production hell for nearly four years? Well, one of it’s scenes was filmed in my shop, Hollywood Babylon, here in Portland Oregon with none other than the legendary Billy Zane. I might add that when they filmed it I was there and ended up spending a little time chatting’ with him about my favorite Zane films like ‘Demon Knight’, ‘Dead Calm’, ‘The Phantom’ & yes of course ‘The Titanic’. You can check out my experience that day right HERE as I blogged that shit up the same day it happened!

However no matter how stoked I was by this whole scenario it turned out the film was put on hiatus due to some sort of loss of funding to pay the crew. Well randomly I decided to do my yearly “V-Force” check up to see if any damn updates were out there on it, because let’s face it, if you filmed most of a movie with the likes of not only Billy Zane but also Don “The Dragon” Wilson, Bruce Dern & Keith David you must at some point be planning to get the funding to release the damn thing. Oh yeah and here’s a picture from that day, with me on the right and of course The Phantom in the center!

Well it seems my “Billy Zane fantasy filming in my vintage shop” just might be seeing the light of day sometime soon? I dunno, because I see there is now an official trailer up and that’s about all, the thing only has a few hundred views and virtually no press out there on it! Well U-Dork is here to give it some internet fire power with this post, so yes folks check out the latest trailer for V-FORCE!! A movie bound for Redbox and just maybe the like of SYFY?! Who the fuck knows, if it ever gets a release I’m going to push for it to be showcased on an episode of the Movie Melt podcast! Oh yeah I also noticed this trailers been up for almost a year now too-WTF?!! Release the shit now!! I want the whole world to see Billy Zane hanging out in my damn shop already!!!

VHS: Alive & Runnin’ Wild in Portland Oregon!!

Ok so you probably have all realized how much I love me some damn VHS tapes! Yeah those relics from decades ago still provide me perhaps even more excitement today than they did way back in the 1980’s & 90’s. When I’m out there in the wild at a thrift store and spot a unique horror, sci-fi, action flick or weird 80’s comedy on VHS my heart literally races.

Ahhh the endless quest for the hidden cinematic gem on tape is a great adventure in these crazy times! So I got interviewed at my shop, Hollywood Babylon, here in Portland Oregon about all the crazy ass VHS tapes we sling there for the movie maniacs in the ‘city of roses’. Check this out and if you want follow the shop on Facebook or better yet Instagram, with the handle @hollywoodbabylonpdx

Anthrax’s ‘Among The Living’ Coming to a Comic Shop Near You!!

Anthrax’s 1987’s thrash metal epic ‘Among the Living’ was always one of my favorite albums of the genre! I used to listen to it all the time back then and it was the soundtrack to many skateboarding sessions I’d have with my friends. I even had the Among the Living t-shirt with Judge Dredd on it, who they had written a song about on the album. So now Anthrax & Z2 comics have developed a rad new way to explore the album with an original anthology graphic novel comic book! Come July 6th, each song on the album has been given it’s own unique story from an impressive creative team, with a new NOTMAN design by Greg Nicetero of Walking Dead fame!
The album is infectiously catchy, with choruses that stick in your head for years and iconic metal riffs galore, It’s an album of anthems and most uniquely known for it’s songs bases heavily in pop culture of the time. So I’m stoked to take a journey with this when it comes out and give the album a spin while I jump into these new stories.

With big names like Brian Posehn, Corey Taylor & Rob Zombie involved it’s certain to be worth a walk down metal memory lane. The album which a fan favorite, definitely deserves a new audience and I’m ready to mosh like it’s 1987 one more time!

Hong Kong Horror Gems: 1985’s ‘Those Merry Souls’!

Here’s a sweet little Hong Kong horror/action/comedy hybrid from 1985 that really put a BIG smile on my face, ‘Those Merry Souls’. Yeah this all but forgotten flick has some serious star power, featuring the likes of martial arts legends like the charming Yuen Biao & the late horror icon “Mr. Vampire” himself Lam Ching Ying (RIP) together for one spooky comedic action packed romper. 

Now as you can see the poster here. makes it look maybe like a full on comedy, and in many ways ‘Those Merry Souls’ plays out like one. However it also has a serious supernatural aspect and threat that slowly rears it’s head to the final genuinely creepy action packed finale. This one tells the story of two stuntmen one a wildly talented martial artist and his bumbling whiny cousin who’s obsessed with a beautiful local club singer. Oh yeah and their uncle has recently developed a rare creepy ability to astral project and has been helping people who die find their way to the other side. He helps those merry souls but during his waking life doesn’t remember a lick of it ever happening.

The two bosom buddy stuntmen spend most of their time trying to ridiculously find romance and getting into trouble while doing so, one of the best scenes takes place on a beach where Yuen Biao shines showing his kick ass martial arts skills taking on a gang beach bullies in only his skimpy little swim suit. Biao really should have been an international star, he’s got the skills and a similar raw charisma of Jackie Chan. Things do get a bit dark and scary here though and what starts off like the perfect 80’s Hong Kong buddy comedy morphs into a pretty thrilling little supernatural tale.

This happens when their uncle, while in his astral form is instructed to take the soul of his own nephew when he’s injured doing a wild stunt on a movie set. At the moment of truth though he decides to let him live & spare his soul a mistake that costs him his own life and sets forth an evil entity upon them. In a way it’s a tiny bit Final Destination and when they employ the help of their other uncle, played by Lam Ching Ying, who’s of course got some secret magic skills of his own to ward off evil, things get really interesting.

The film’s finale is joyous as the whole gang along with their girlfriends all face off the evil entity along with their taoist priest uncle in an action packed final showdown. The stakes get high and the action is off the rails bonkers in true Hong Kong fashion as the entity possesses members of the group and soon things erupt into a crazy supernatural kung fu battle.

We even get to see Lam Ching Ying and Yuen Biao go at it full force, which is treat to behold. Bottom line here, ‘Those Merry Souls’ is a damn good time balancing out the comedy, kung fu & supernatural elements in all the right ways, something I’ve noticed many Hong Kong films of this era seem to fail at in my opinion more often than succeeding. If you’re looking to get in 80’s Hong Kong Horror I highly recommend ‘Those Merry Souls’ as the perfect party movie to share with a hungry gang of movie maniacs!

And for fans of Yuen and LamChing Ying check this out too..

The Crazy Killer Muppet: Benny Loves You!

I just checked out this wild little trailer for what looks like promising horror comedy-Benny Loves You! What if your childhood stuffed animal had a mind of it’s own and didn’t handle being rejected well when you finally outgrew him? Well Benny is here to show you just that as he goes on a rampage when he’s thrown away by his longtime now grown up friend.



“After the accidental death of his parents, Jack’s comfortable lifestyle comes to an end and he must sell his family home. Desperate to improve his life, Jack throws out his childhood belongings including his beloved plush, Benny. It’s a move that has disastrous consequences when Benny springs to life with deadly intentions!”

It definitely looks like something else is going here as well in this one as we see a killer doll and what looks like a toy robot battling Benny. This looks like a super fun little crazy ride, I’ll definitely be checking this one out soon. Benny Loves You was written and directed by Karl Holt who also stars in the film. This one’s out on VOD beginning May 11th.

 

Willy’s Wonderland: Nic Cage vs Evil Chuck E. Cheese = Cinematic Food Poisoning!

So I was at 7 Eleven the other day and thought it was the time to finally check out the most recent effort from Nic Cage, Willy’s Wonderland. Yes it was RedBox time yeeehaw!! I’d been looking forward to this movie for a while now, I mean Nic Cage spends the night at a haunted Chuck E. Cheese style pizza place funland and battles the animatronic cartoon band? SIGN ME THE HELL UP!



Well this little horror flick most definitely did NOT bring anything remotely wonderful to the damn party! Just like the 2019 ‘Banana Splits’ movie, 2021’s Willy’s Wonderland makes another attempt at a live action “Five Nights at Freddy’s” and somehow manages again to deliver a shit sandwich. I mean how can Nic Cage battling killer cartoon robots be so fucking boring? It’s almost like you have to be working hard to make this concept suck so bad. Plot? Barely any, but basically Nic Cage is a “cool guy” who drives around a lame sports car really fast (you know cuz that’s what bad asses do) & gets a flat tire. He then has to get it fixed (tuff guys can’t change tires), but the city has no ATM so he makes a deal to work off the car repair by working a graveyard shift cleaning ‘Willy’s Wonderland’ which is basically a low rent version of the much sweeter ‘Showbiz Pizza’.

Ok so Nic Cage’s character also apparently doesn’t speak, I’m not sure why, maybe tuff guys don’t like to talk or more likely Cage didn’t want to waste his time memorizing lines for a movie he knew was giant steaming turd. Everything about this movie basically sucks. Willy’s Wonderland (the actual place) should have been the major draw of the creepy fun, but here this funland restaurant looks like it was cobbled together in 15 minutes with bad props found in some dipshit’s garage. It’s a boring, ugly, sterile set piece that should have been a uniquely awesome creepy place for a horror adventure to take place. The acting also sucks and not in a good way. It tries way too hard to be edgy & make Cage’s character some sort of cool ass modern horror icon but instead just makes him look like some mega lame ass middle aged numbskull. If you like seeing Cage beat up furry robots over and over and over and defeating with no effort while drinking generic energy drinks this one is for you. Zero tension and zero shits given for any of the annoying characters easily make this one of the worst & most disappointing movies I’ve seen in quite some time. 

Like I said, the battles are super duper boring and while the cartoon robot monsters don’t look particularly bad, any chance of them being a threat is ruined early on by showing how weak they are when Nic Cage easily “beats them up” early on. They at least try to weave in some lame recycled plot they stole from ‘Child’s Play’, but by the time that arrives in the movie it’s just too late to give a damn. Then they decide to try even harder to make Cage’s character memorable by having him do a lame “sexy” dance sequence while he plays pinball but it’s just so pathetic that it almost tarnishes his brilliant more recent performance in ‘Mandy’. I know Nic takes pretty much any role he’s offered these days, but I personally thought he was on some sort of sweet comeback? Nope Cage still makes plenty of horse shit and Willie’s Wonderland is a prime example of just that! Please, for the love of God, no more ‘Five Nights at Freddy’s’ themed “horror” flicks! Let this put the nail in that coffin!