Category: Horror Whore

VHS Verdict: 1991’s Nordic Creature Feature ‘The Runestone’!!

Here’s another pretty neat little creature feature from 1991 I’ve been wanting to see for a while now, well luckily I scored a cool VHS copy of the movie at thrift shop. As I’ve said before my favorite type of horror flick’s a monster movie and that’s exactly what this here is nothing more nothing less. Though released in ’91 it feels like a full on ’80’s movie, with tons of neon, cheezy dialogue and a big savage man in suit Bigfoot type of creature running around the city offing people. Yeah and it also features one of the bad guy henchmen from ‘Die Hard’, Alexander Godunov, who’s the heroic handsome Nordic godly clockmaker monster hunter.

Anyway we’ve got a bunch of fun plot points as a mystic runestone is found in a coal mine in Pennsylvania and transported to NYC, where we all know, the excitement always seems to happen. Soon the runestone displays it’s magic powers and an archeologist becomes possessed by an evil ancient Norse spirit. Of course the dude transforms into a crazed sasquatch called Fenrir that goes on killing spree throughout New York and ends up frequenting art exhibits where over the top yuppies seem to think he’s someone’s hip new art installment. Of course he gets pissed off and wreaks “havoc” in the art community. The creature actually looks kinda cool (some decent animatronics/make up) all things considered and that’s clearly the main draw here with this one. He’s got a sweet no BS attitude and does his best to fuck shit up as much as he can. Way to rep the monsters in the 90’s dude!

That being said, there’s relatively little gore splattered about and the movie spends probably an extra 20 minutes or so too long trying to create “compelling” character development. Most of the while I just was wondering what the goddamn cranky ass creature was doing? Let’s get back to what he’s up to cuz he’s likely pissed off and freaking people out somewhere in the city! I’d have also loved a bit more of the “Die Hard” dude as well, but sadly he’s not given as much screen time as he deserves until the finale, but damn if the guy doesn’t look like a bad ass when he shows up. I dig the final act as well as the characters face off against the creature briefly entering a different dimension. This one’s often confused with Julian Sands movie ‘Warlock’ from 1989 and feeling surprisingly similar at times it’s understandable why.

 There’s plenty of fun to be had here if you’re not expecting a helluva lot from ‘The Runestone’ and you dig low budget late 80’s early 90’s creature cheez. This one’s a prime example of an old school horror movie that if edited down to about 85 minutes would be a total crowd pleaser/cult fave. There’s a ton of total gems out there from the 80’s & 90’s that tried to fill their run time to a more “respectable length” adding too much filler, this one for example at 105 minutes does indeed have areas that drag somewhat, some day perhaps I’ll try and edit a few of these down. Either way there’s definitely some fun to be had regardless and it’s most definitely worth a watch if you’re down for some early 90’s monster business! 

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‘Arachnophobia 2’ With John Goodman? Count me in!

Well here’s a bit of interesting news, it seems that James Wan (Insidious, The Conjuring) is looking bring back everyone’s favorite spooky spider film ‘Arachnophobia’ with a brand new “sequel”. 1990’s family friendly horror flick is one of my favorite, most underrated little Amblin movies. This is great news and Wan’s already eyeing up John Goodman to return in his role of master exterminator Delbert Mclintock to fight another pack of pesky spiders.

If this movie indeed does happen I hope they amp up the spider mayhem ten fold and again incorporate the use of real spiders on set. The main reason why Arachnophobia was so effective was because the real thing is just so much more creepy than CG arachnids. Let’s hope they don’t rely too much on CGI to create the spiders and hopefully there will be yet another even bigger spider to face off against in the end.

This could really be a ton of fun and even though most sites are calling this a reboot Wan’s already confirmed that this will indeed be a sequel. Maybe we could see Jeff Daniels come back too? Either way I think this could be awesome and since the ‘Roseanne’ canceling/controversy it seems Goodman may indeed have the time to come back and kick some spider butt once again….

VHS Verdict: 1990’s ‘Metamorphosis: The Alien Factor’ is Gooey Monster Movie Mayhem!

Damn! I’ve been scoring some excellent VHS tapes lately and even better is the fact that they’re movies I’ve never heard of before. Being a huge fan of 80’s creature features I was delighted to run across this total gem of a flick. Not to be confused with ‘Metamorphosis’ by George Eastman which also came out in 1990, ‘Metamorphosis: The Alien Factor’ is an inspiring special fx laden monster movie for fans of movies like The 80’s ‘Blob’, ‘The Thing’ & of course ‘The Deadly Spawn’. This movie is actually the unofficial sequel to 1983’s ‘The Deadly Spawn’ being produced by Ted Bohus who was responsible for both movies. Turns out he produced two home run horror movies as Metamorphosis is just as good if not in some ways even better than The Deadly Spawn.

The movie’s plot is quite simple, a scientist is researching some strange mutant creatures from another planet in lab and accidentally stabs one of them in the head with a syringe. The pissed off mutant bites his hand, escapes, the scientist quickly begins to metamorphosize into a slimy mass of grotesque flesh & eventually mutates into a huge creature that kills a security guard. Well it’s not long before the security guard’s two daughters and one of their geeky horny boyfriends are all up on the scene to figure out just what happened to their dear ol’ dad. They sneak into the research facility and crazy monster mayhem ensues. This one’s a ton of fun, sure it’s got some pretty bad acting, unintentionally goofy dialogue and may have about 15 minutes too much of bland character development but the whole thing is littered with crazy creatures and plenty o’ gooey gore.

The monsters are the main attraction here and they’re beautifully created via puppetry, animatronics and even a hefty dose of stop motion animation. It really is a great sequel to The Deadly Spawn and the main monster does indeed share an even enough similarity to the creatures of it’s predecessor. These two movies would make a great double feature especially for those who’re looking for an underrated gem of a monster movie and plenty of gross out schlocky gore.

The last 30 minutes of the movie definitely amps up the monster mayhem to eleven and though some of the first two acts can begin to only slightly drag with perhaps trying a bit too hard at crafting a “compelling” story once the shit truly hits the fan it’s totally worth the wait. Like ‘The Deadly Spawn’ this also one has quite a gigantic closing sequence that firmly cements ‘Metamorphosis: The Alien Factor’ into the list of the the best monster movies of the late 80’s/90s. Check it out!

VHS Verdict: ‘Raiders of Atlantis’ is Pure 80’s Action/Sci-Fi Bliss!

I recently stumbled upon a beautiful big box VHS version of the 1983 gem ‘Raiders of Atlantis’ and it’s easily one of the most entertaining 80’s action/sci-fi genre mash up’s I’ve ever seen. Even more interesting is that we’ve got cult director Ruggero Deodato, most well known for his extreme gore flick ‘Cannibal Holocaust’ at the helm. Well, while ‘Raiders’ doesn’t feature the offensive gross-out gore of ‘Holocaust’ it does have it’s fare share of unexpectedly crazy bloody good moments and then some to spare.

As for the plot, there’s not much to it, basically two hot shot war vets (Mike, who’s a slightly past his prime playboy and his buddy, recently converted to islam, Washington, who desperately wants people to call him Mohammed) and their crew head off by boat to investigate the strange suddenly rising continent of Atlantis that emerges from the depths of the ocean covered in a transparent dome. Well pretty much as soon as our crew of trusty adventurers set foot on Atlantis’ shore they discover a creepy, fully ravaged city with dead people scattered about, leading to a particularly excellently executed chilling scene involving a skipping record. Deodato immediately sets the stage for a full on genre sandwich that’s part action/sci-fi/horror & post apocalyptic adventure.

Of course none of this can really be taken too seriously as the movie opens with Washington & Mike displaying their innate ability to kick major ass and then some within the first few minutes. However the movie shifts gears when it’s revealed that the natives of Atlantis are actually psychotic punk rock post apocalyptic warriors who’re out to kill anyone and everything in sight. Their leader even wears a ridiculous see through plastic skull mask and they all drive around freaky jacked up killer cars and motorcycles like total maniacs. The rest of the movie is really one fucking awesome action sequence after another, ridiculous hi-octane shit that never slows. Continue reading

Hong Kong’s Sam Raimi: Whatever Happened to Riki-Oh’s Lam Nai-Choi?!

One of the most wild & unpredictable filmmakers of all time hands down has got to be Hong Kong’s Lam Ngai Kai aka Lam Nai-choi, Most well known for his mega cult classic ‘RIKI-OH/The Story of Riki’ it’s clear this guy is, in my opinion one of the most underrated directors in the horror genre. Imagine if Sam Raimi made movies as consistently awesome as the Evil Dead trilogy, well that’s a good way to sum up this guy’s catalogue of crazy ass films. I’ve been fully surprised at how many people love ‘Riki-Oh’ yet aren’t familiar with anything else this guy’s done.

It probably doesn’t help that he completely disappeared off the movie map in 1992 for unknown reasons. Perhaps he realized he’d unlikely ever be able to top the craziness of his back catalogue of bizarre flicks. I’d love to know what he’s up to today and what I’d love even more would be his return to filmmaking. There’s however, literally zero info on why he stopped his film career and what the dude’s been up to these days. That being said let’s take a quick look at some of his coolest flicks you may not have even known existed! First if you’ve never seen Riki-Oh from 1991 it’s easily one of the wildest action/horror hybrid movies out there and totally on par with the awesomeness of Evil Dead 2. It features some of the most over the top action/gore of all time:

 

Next is another equally crazy ass flick from 1986 called ‘The Seventh Curse‘ which is like Indiana Jones on acid fighting monsters and exploring some truly epic locations. It features Chow Young Fat in a small role and continues with totally frantic action sequences that never slows it’s pace right to the very end. A true hidden gem of a movie that many 80’s horror fans have completely missed out on over the years. Seek this out asap as it’s more proof this guy’s got chops on par with the likes of early Peter Jackson, Sam Raimi & Don Coscarelli.

 

Kai’s got more under his belt too if you want another horror adventure that’s a true spectacle to behold check out ‘The Peacock King‘ from 1988. A totally unique movie that’s also a full on FX extravaganza. This one literally utilizes nearly every 80’s special fx in the book, from stop motion monsters, to animatronic creatures etc. etc. etc. you name it, this movie will take you on tour of the bizarre set to a super fun, dark yet equally light hearted adventure. Check it out: Continue reading

After ‘Cobra Kai’: Five 80’s Movie Franchises That’d Be Awesome TV Show Sequels!!

Hot Damn!! Did you all watch the latest YouTube Red series ‘Cobra Kai’ or what?! Talk about a surprise hit show, it’s still blowing my mind that somehow they completely pulled this show off and then some. Who’d have thought a sequel series to The Karate Kid 34 years later would have turned out to be a bonafide hit show? I’m going on record though to say this series not only exceeded my expectations but is one of my favorite TV shows of all time.

So it got me thinking, what other 80’s movie franchises could they give a similar treatment to after the surprise success of Cobra Kai? Here’s five other 80’s franchises I think if given the care of ‘Cobra Kai’ might work in a similar way as tv series. Obviously the movies have to have had memorable characters that we wonder what are up to today! So here we go…

 

ROMANCING THE STONE (1984)

Like The Karate Kid the original from 1984 is one of my all time favorite movies. It spawned a lackluster sequel called ‘Jewel of the Nile’ and I think is the perfect franchise to revisit if done with respect of the original franchise. The movie captured people’s hearts back in 80’s and struck a chord with people longing for some real romantic adventure in their normal everyday lives. I always wondered if Joan Wilder & Jack Colton lived happily ever after? Well this series could revisit Joan & Jack today who’re obviously much older but also catapult their now normal lives into one last adventure.

Teaming them up with their children, who somehow are pulled into another bizarre treasure hunt that reaches exotic places of the earth that are little traveled or perhaps even completely uncharted. Michael Douglas is in his early 70’s and Cathleen Turner in her 60’s but adding their younger children or single child into the mix could make for a surprisingly fun exotic action adventure. Hey they’re still both younger than Harrison Ford and he’s getting another Indiana Jones movie! Handled the right way I think a Romancing the Stone series would be a blast. Probability of this happening: Highly Unlikely. 

WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT (1988)

I think a Roger Rabbit series could be totally insane & a ton of fun. Imagine Toon Town 30 years later? What hell is going on there? The show could take place in the 1980’s or even in the same time period as the first movie. Because most of the characters are cartoons it’d be easy to bring them back for another adventure and you could even pull a great new cast for this second adventure and really flesh out the Toons.

As far as a storyline it’s interesting to know that there are actually a trilogy of Roger Rabbit books the first one being written in 1981 ‘Who Censored Roger Rabbit’, the second in 1991 ‘Who P-P-Plugged Roger Rabbit’ and in 2013 ‘Who Wacked Roger Rabbit’. So as far as material there’s a lot to pull from. I think this would be a great franchise to revisit in a series and again like it was in 1988 there’s nothing out there today quite like it. Probability of this happening: Unlikely.

 

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (1986)

Ahhh…now here’s a great one that could be taken in so many fun directions. People have wanting a proper sequel to ‘Big Trouble’ for decades and it’s even been given a sequel treatment in comic book form recently. So why the hell not kick start the further adventures of Jack Burton in current times? Bring back Kurt Russell as the character and let him get into more trouble all over again. He certainly doesn’t need to stay in “Little China” this time around but let’s find out just what the hell he’s up to these days.

Let John Carpenter write, direct or do both even but fill it to the brim with more of the amazing monsters, adventure and 80’s fx that made the cult classic so damn beloved. Kurt Russell looks as bad ass as ever too and he really wouldn’t even need to be paired up with a bunch of young hip side kicks for the first season at least. Theres’ so much potential here for a great series and I think fans would eat it up if it was handled with the same respect and care as Cobra Kai. Probability of this happening: Good. As a reboot has been talked about for years with Duane Johnson.

 

THE GATE (1987)

Ok so I know this will NEVER happen but a seed has to be planted somewhere right? Cuz you just never really know? However I had to add this one because it’s a truly great 80’s franchise I hold dear to my heart. The Gate from 1987 is one of the best 80’s horror flicks ever and I think if some place like Shudder was looking for a horror series to kickstart The Gate would be the perfect choice. It’s got a cult following and it’s two main stars Stephen Dorff and Louis Tripp (Who also starred as the lead character in The Gate 2) are both only in their 40’s at this point.

What if The Gate was opened once again by one of these guys in modern times, Maybe Louis Tripp’s kids find one of his old demonic metal records and set things into motion? I’d imagine it’d be amazing to see one of them have to make the call to the other to save suburbia from complete evil again. Maybe Stephen Dorff has a family of his own? Maybe Louis Tripp, the heavy metal obsessed kid from the first two movies is in a once popular but now failing metal band of his own? Whatever the case I always thought it’d be cool to see these two guys later in life as Dorff still stars in plenty of movies and we’d have to get Louis Tripp out of acting retirement! Probability of this happening: Between slim and none but now with this post slightly better!!

 

THE GOONIES (1985)

Ah…ok so now we get to an 80’s movie that I think has got a decent chance of being revived as a tv series! How awesome would it be to have a Goonies TV show in the works? I mean who the fuck doesn’t wanna know what the damn Goonies are up to now that they’re all grown up?!! Imagine them all now settled down in their normal boring every day lives, some may have families and some may be in completely different places but one thing remains true Goonies never say die! Through some strange turn of events the grown up Goonies become involved with their most incredible adventure yet. Something none of them ever imagined would happen ever again. The cast is still relatively young and the possibilities are endless.

There’s a so much heartfelt drama and adventure that could be explored between these characters as they’re now all grown up and longing for the nostalgia of their childhood, well what happens when that nostalgia gets dropped directly onto their laps? It’d be time to see if The Goonies still have what it takes decades later. You could incorporate their kids into the mix as well if they wanted to pass the torch but I think ‘season one’ would be great to get the old gang back together for a more adult, but still fully comedic adventure of a lifetime. This show could work on so many levels and a tv series is fully the way to go with it. That would all be true if it had a truly great story and writers behind it as it could also easily turn out to be a full on disaster. So many great characters and I think it’d finally give Corey Feldman the adult role of redemption he’s been looking for all these years. Probability of this happening: Likely!!!

‘The Predator’ Trailer Drops & Boy Does It Look Kinda, Sorta OK-ish!

Well, well, well, finally the day has arrived! The first look at the upcoming mega event blockbuster sequel to 1987’s Predator in the way of Shane Black’s ‘The Predator’. Slated for release in September 2018, I’ve had my eyes peeled for any info on this one, written by Fred (Monster Squad/Night of the Creeps) Dekker & Shane Black & directed by Black who also starred in the original 1987 creature feature masterpiece. Black has been boasting that this sequel is going to reignite The Predator franchise in a big way, being an event style movie that ramps up the vibes akin to to the original!

Well it’s been a long wait and we finally get a look at the movie via the first official trailer today. What we’ve known so far is that this one takes place mainly in the suburbs, features an autistic child who can communicate with the alien hunters, pits the Predator up against a team of “deadly” assassins & will feature Jake Busey as the son of Predator 2’s crazy cop played by his dad Gary. We also have been told sadly that Arnold Schwarzenegger won’t be reprising his role as Dutch. However still, many have speculated he may have indeed been included in the recent reshoots. From what we’ve been told they reshot the last third of the movie recently after early test screenings revealed lackluster responses from audiences. I hope that’s the case, as Arnold is like the Predator’s Luke Skywalker & this is likely the last chance we’ll have to include him as the iconic Dutch character, I mean let’s face it Arnie IS getting old and recently even had open heart surgery. Regardless, here it is finally, the trailer for the sequel Predator fanatics have all been patiently waiting for:

So…….what did you think? I guess I was hoping for so much more from this first trailer. I mean, it seemed ok for the most part, however nothing really got my blood a pumpin’. Let me remind everyone ‘AVP: Requiem’ took place largely in suburbia so it feels already a bit familiar already in maybe not the greatest way, as the AVP movies weren’t exactly cinematic gold. Perhaps we’ll all be surprised by the actual movie when it’s released, but in my opinion, at this point though I’d say the previous movie ‘Predators’ from 2010 had a much more interesting sounding premise and trailer. I’ve got a bad feeling about this installment as it doesn’t seem so far like it’s going to peak a helluva lot of interest from movie goers from this first trailer. At least if “Dutch” or even Danny Glover at this point was hinted at returning it might have garnered some interest from long time fans but as far as first trailers go this one feels a bit dead on arrival. I’m not sure ‘The Predator’ has got an intriguing enough story going for it to really fill seats in the theater. I hope I’m wrong, but god dammit if Hollywood is notorious for striking out when trying prey upon our nostalgia….