If you love puppets as much as I do then this is most definitely for YOU! Have you ever imagined what horror movie would look like if everyone one in it was a puppet? Well imagine no more because someone is indeed wrapping up an ALL puppet horror flick called ‘Frank & Zed’! Holy Moly!!
Yeah this one looks like a total blast and it was recently fully funded off of a Kickstarter. It’s also comes straight outta my base of operations here in Portland, Oregon from mastermind Jesse Blanchard. Damn! It looks like a demented version of the muppet show, but with even better looking puppets. It’s gonna be a full on puppet slaughter by the looks of the footage out there. We’ll see if a puppet themed movie can really dish out the goods check this shit out! I’m stoked to see this thing is a go and is a full on feature film!
Frank & Zed is the 100% puppet horror monster movie that lives up to that premise. Done with the attention to detail and world building of the Dark Crystal and the mad mayhem and glee of Meet the Feebles (the only other two features done with this method).
It stars two classic monsters, Frank & Zed whose powerful master is long defeated. Since his death, they have survived the wrath of the mob by hiding in the ruins of an old castle. But they are soon discovered and their fates, along with those of the village below, will be decided in the prophesied ‘Orgy of Blood.’
Ho ho ho! The Christmas spirit is in the air again and it’s once again time to check out some crazy holiday movies! Last night I watched a pretty ridiculous one to say the least, the final installment of the ‘Silent Night Deadly Night’ franchise, part 5: ‘The Toymaker’ from 1991! Now if you’re in the mood for some totally idiotic yet entertaining holiday movie mayhem I’d say this here is definitely worth a watch this year. As with the 4th installment of the ‘Silent Night Deadly Night’ franchise, this one has got absolutely zilch to do with the original, clearly a sequel only in name and I’m quite fine with that becuz really now, how many damn movies do we need with a killer in a Santa Suit?
So “The Toymaker” goes a way different direction with a totally absurd plot directed by Martin Kitrosser & co-written by horror icon Brian Yuzna (Night of the Living Dead 3, Bride of Re-Aminator, Society), which finds a little kid whose family is “terrorized” by killer presents..ahem “toys” made by a weird ass old dude toymaker named ‘Joe Petto’ played by the one and only Mickey Rooney! How the hell they got Rooney to do this flick is a bit of a wonder. First he’s clearly got the star power here, though in 1991 he must have been in dire need of acting work and even more bizarre is that Rooney wrote a protest letter against the first Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984). Claiming the “scum” who made it should be “run out of town” for having fucked with the sacred holiday. Oddly then six years later he joined the damn franchise!! He must have just loved the damn script so much he couldn’t resist! The world may never know..
Anyway Rooney runs his own creepy toy shop in town called “Petto’s” which is probably the WORST name you could pick for a toy store, oh and he’s got his socially awkward son working the shop too and yeah…..his name is ‘Pino’. I recognized this kid actor Brian Bremer from Pumpkinhead as well as starring in Tobe Hooper’s Spontaneous Combustion & Yuzna’s ‘Society’. So are you catching on here to the brilliance of this story here yet? Well Joe Petto makes toys that kill people and his weirdo son who lives in the dank cellar helps him out and also gets yelled at a lot by Petto after he’s been drinkin’ on the job during shop hours.
The meat of the plot here revolves around Joe Petto’s evil toy’s stalking a single mom and her child for some “unknown reason” right around Christmas. We get some pretty ridiculous bullshit going on here when the toys viciously attack and we even got Screamin’ Mad George (Predator, Nightmare on Elm St. 3) doing his best with the budget on special fx duty. Killer toy army men, toy centipede larva, heck even some killer roller blades! The movie’s filled with crazy ass plot twists too, the kind that are so stupid you can’t help but find idioticlly endearing.
The Toymaker goes for the jugular with a “shocking” finale too, that kinda just has to be seen to be believed as it’s about as stupidly awesome things come. There’s plenty to enjoy here for the holiday as the story somehow operates nicely within the Christmas season. It’s likely the second best installment of the ‘Silent Night’ franchise and the perfect holiday party flick as it’s got a lean, just over 80 minute run time that moves at a nice brisk pace. If you want a full on holiday party flick this one’s got the goods, just make sure you’ve got your sense of humor intact, plenty of weed and boozy egg nog there to wash this one down with…you’ll be needing it!
Stranger Things Season 2 finally dropped this Halloween and damn was it good! So much fun and such a total and complete trip down memory lane. The show plays off of the wonder filled nostalgia of the 80’s and almost perfectly captures the magic of movies like Poltergeist, E.T., The Goonies and The Lost Boys to name a few.
This show couldn’t possibly get any better at delivering the ever so sweet 1980’s cinematic magic could it? Well I say it could do the job way better, after watching the second season it was apparent once again that this show could really up it’s game by ditching a lot of the shoddy CGI effects it uses for it’s monsters.
The show sure looks and feels like an 80’s Amblin flick, that is until they introduce us to the other worldly monsters. Then it quickly becomes very apparent it’s 2017 and that some questionable CG has entered my 80’s fantasy! So for season 3 of the show, I think they could do better, to really recreate that magic of old, it’s time for the show to incorporate practical creature effects! Puppetry, makeup, animatronics!
Imagine the creatures on the show if they had the feel of E.T., The Gremlins or Pumpkinhead?! The CG takes me out of the moment, the realism fades quickly and I imagine how much more effective the experience would really be if it just gave this tweak to say 75% of it’s fx work. That alone would give us the ultimate nostalgia trip, let’s face it, fans would go nuts for this and especially those who are real fans of the genre the show’s replicating. So help me spread this idea #strangerthings80sfx & Let’s demand that 80’s special effects magic be utilized for the next season!!! They’ve come a long way with practical fx work and blending with CG or using CG to eliminate wires & puppeteers would take the show to a whole next level of 1980’s love….
Let’s face it folks, we all love a good Rock n’ Roll horror flick, especially during the halloween season! There are a lot of good ones out there and many of them feature small cameos from rock stars BUT there’s actually not that many that actually feature them in lead or substantial roles in these “terrifying” movies. I here at Universal Dork tho, have decided to give you the top 10 rock and roll horror movies that actually star real rock stars!! So let’s not waste anytime messin’ around and get to it! Less talk more ROCK!! Here are some odd movies that famous rockers decided to risk their careers on!!!
10. Nick Knight / AKA Midnight Cop (1989)
Hey you remember ‘Jesse’s Girl’ right? Yep, easily one o’ the best pop songs of the 80’s in my opinion! Well 80’s icon Rick Springfield also had an acting career as well and when he wasn’t appearing on General Hospital he made some cheezy ass movies, one being this horror flick called ‘Nick Knight’ aka ‘Midnight Cop’! Yep Springfield stars as the hunky vampire detective on the dangerous case of his undead life, this movie was later remade into the first couple episodes of the tv series ‘Forever Knight’! Dig this stunning vampiric Rick-o-riffic movie montage!
9. Halloween Resurrection (2002)
Here’s one of the worst movies of the ‘Halloween’ franchise, it took the finale of H20 and made it into some stupid sort of ridiculous “Scooby Doo” style plot twist. However this one makes the list because we get some “rockstar action” with Busta Rhymes, one of the main characters in it who goes toe to toe with Michael Myers in the finale and fuckin’ wins! I dig that at least!
8. Monster Dog (1984)
Here’s an totally odd little Italian flick called ‘Monster Dog’ from 1984 that stars superstar rocker Alice Cooper in the lead role!! The movie honestly ain’t that good but it’s a must watch for anyone looking to see Alice in more than a freaky cameo. Monster Dog is a subpar 80’s werewolf film, it starts off pretty cool but quickly begins to feel a lot longer than it’s short 84 minute run time. It’s got a couple decent werewolf scenes, cool poster art and a totally sweet ass Cooper track called ‘Identity Crisis’ that makes this one at least worth a view! Fuck yeah!
7. Slaughterhouse Rock (1988)
Another odd 80’s movie with totally classic box art and co stars pop star Toni Basil who dominated the charts in 1982 with her mega hit song ‘Hey Mickey’. This one’s worth a watch for that alone and has a cool soundtrack “featuring” Devo. This follows some teenagers trying to remove a curse, travel to Alcatraz and get some help from a cute 80’s ghost played by Basil. The trailer below actually makes the movie look pretty rad, but it’s one of those “best of” moments trailers, so if you check it out you’ll likely be a bit disappointed with how bland the movie quickly becomes. Still worth a watch for the pure cheez factor it all and a cool dance scene by Basil!
Yowza!! In cased you missed it yesterday or perhaps didn’t even know this was a real thing, there’s an amaaaaazzing fan flick that recently dropped that’s quite honestly on par with and maybe even better than some of the sequels of the original franchise of the 80’s.
Jason Voorhees fans all over are praising this 53 minute fan film and some even saying their considering it cannon. Funded through Kickstarter, Director Vincente Disanti has done a spectacular job showing Hollywood how to approach the franchise in the future, watch as well for a classic character from the past to really turn the whole thing upside down!
I’ve been soooo pumped for ‘Cult of Chucky’ ever since the stunning after credits scene of the awesome previous installment ‘Curse of Chucky’ back in 2013. So this week I wasted no time when it was released streaming on Netflix tuesday, the question was it worth the wait for all of us Chucky-fans?!
Overall I’m gonna say it was a pretty compelling sequel, but it for me didn’t quite live up to the full on battle royale I was hoping for between Andy Barclay (yeah the actor kid, Alex Vincent, from the first two movies returns!!) and ol’ Chuck. Once I got past that aspect of the movie, the fact of the matter is that it brings some great new twists and turns to now ongoing epic story of the legendary killer Good Guy doll. I guess in my head I pictured Andy being more of the main focus of this one, finally settling the score once and for all. From the movie’s strong start we get an awesome glimpse into Andy’s world now and how he’s become somewhat of a gun toting, weapon wielding badass (still claiming though he’s all for gun control). I love the opening sequence and it alone has some great surprises that will get your heart a pumpin’.
The majority of the rest of the movie follows ‘Nica’, Charles Lee Ray’s daughter (Fiona Dourif) as she’s imprisoned in a mental institution, brainwashed, believing Chucky isn’t real and in fact she’s the one responsible for the murderous rampage of the last film. Along the way we meet some interesting characters in the psyche ward and of course Jennifer Tilly, who looks totally amazing still somehow by the way, returns to start some major mischief herself! This one’s full of crazy surprises, plot twists and some ultra impressive gory moments. It’s also got it’s fair share of comedy, some of it landing and some it not so much. Chucky looks pretty awesome too and this time around they’ve steered away from using any CG to enhance his movement or face. There are a few dodgy scenes of CG I could have done without and to be quite honest I wasn’t a big fan of the “way too shiny” look of the insane asylum but hey maybe that’s how these places actually look in 2017?
Without spoiling anything I can say there are some great scenes involving Andy and it’s really great have him back for old fans of the franchise, I mean who’d have ever thought we’d see the original actor back again in the role?! I also really love the ending of this movie, at least the new insane development it brings to the table, what the HELL happens next? We’re left with a great cliffhanger, part of me was a bit surprised when the movie ended, it seemed like the finale was really ramping up and then boom it was over, to me a bit too soon. Overall though ‘Cult of Chucky’ shows how a horror franchise can continue on without being given a flimsy forgettable Hollywood remake. It adds a bizarre new chapter to the Child’s Play story with fresh new ideas and surprises a’ plenty-what did you think?!
OH yeah, the Netflix version doesn’t for some reason feature the after credits sequence that’s on the DVD – seek it out if you’re a big fan of the movies, it’s another great scene and return of a classic character from the franchise!!
Well the big Terminator news this week is that Linda Hamilton will be returning to franchise to kick some butt in the next film produced by James Cameron & directed by Tim Miller (Deadpool). This seems like great news for old fans as it also appears Arnold will return as well. I’m not quite sure if Arnold will be “The Terminator” this time around, I’m hoping they’ll cast him finally as the dude who the T-800’s human image was based upon. Whatever the case it seems that Hamilton & Arnold aren’t going to be cast in the leads either as Cameron is looking for an 18 year old woman to lead the reunited cast. This all sounds fine and dandy, BUT it’s clear there’s one thing missing….Edward Furlong dammit!!
Yeah, so I know he’s a bit of a hot mess it seems these days and his star power has severely faded into obscurity. However I think it’s come time for Furlong to get his shit together and get back in the game. I mean let’s really complete the reunion! I have a hunch fans would LOVE to see him back in the role of John Connor and this movie role might be the one thing that can get him to turn things around. But it seems that over the years he’s had some serious drug problems and domestic abuse issues which could get in the way of any future Terminator related roles. The same type of thing happened apparently with Nick Stahl who appeared as Connor in Terminator 3.
I’m not sure how people would feel about it or if perhaps Cameron doesn’t want to let the guy have a chance because of his severely troubled history. I for one think it could be a good thing, if indeed Ed could prove he was ready to start making some positive life choices. It would certainly add that additional hype and seriously up the nostalgia factor for franchise fans. I mean he’s only 40 years old, though he’s got a lot of cleaning up and exercising to do, the last I saw him he looked quite overweight. But still with the others joining the cast it would just feel right to get him on board…What do you think? Is is too late for Edward Furlong?