‘Alien: Covenant’ finally dropped at theaters yesterday, and after all the hype the smoke finally cleared as I sat back for a late night viewing of the “prequel” for the legendary horror franchise. Ridley Scott returns again after the lackluster ‘Prometheus’ for purely passable installment that is Alien: Covenant. I wasn’t a huge fan of Prometheus, it’s one of those movies I can’t say I ever care about seeing again and same is the case also with ‘Covenant’. It does though fit quite nicely alongside the current trend of forgettable sequels to once amazing movie franchises of the 80’s that are cranked out these days. It’s like the ‘Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull’ of the Alien series, making the third and fourth installments of the Alien franchise suddenly feel more legit.
This doesn’t mean I hated the movie, it just means that I’m quickly growing tired of the trend of sequels that I once endlessly pined for. It pains me to see Ridley Scott now for a second time bringing us such uninspired pieces of cinema. The movies large cast of characters hasn’t got anyone in it you’re likely to give a damn about and spends it’s time focusing on the android “twin btother” characters played by Michael Fassbender instead. ‘Covenant’ simply feels like Ridley has run out of ideas and decided to start lifting major plot points from ‘Bladerunner’ simultaneously trying to re-create a “best of” compilation of scary scenarios from his first Alien movie.
So while no one from the cast gets much time to develop into much more than alien prey you might think that at the very least we’d get quite possibly the best most bad ass version of the legendary ‘Alien’ creature now that it’s 2017 and they’ve more than got the budget to do so. Quite the contrary, ‘Alien: Covenant’ can’t even get that right for fans. For a movie that’s been boasting impressive practical fx work from day one you’re likely to be disappointed by it’s incredibly cartoony looking aliens littered about the movie frantically. Heck the fx work in this movie makes the two ‘AVP’ flicks suddenly feel kinda legit as well and that’s a damn hard thing to do. Long gone is the suspense & stylized horror of the old movies, instead you’ll be treated to the same old CGI schlock you’re used to from all the huge summer blockbusters. The Alien franchise officially lost it’s heart & soul quite a long time ago and even bringing Scott aboard hasn’t resulted in finding it. Right down to final battle, this movie simply fails, proving that we ALL really miss Sigourney Weaver in a BIG way. Ridley has now truly mastered mediocrity as I honestly may’ve actually enjoyed Prometheus more than this, because at least with that one I wasn’t expecting much there from the start.
At least one thing Ridley got right were the locations & sets he used in filming this movie. It’s visually stunning in that respect. However I’m realizing I was actually quite fine with NOT knowing the backstory of the Alien and honestly liked it when we knew nothing about it’s origins when it was little more than a monstrous stow away. The mystery is gone and instead what we end up with plot wise begins to feel a bit absurd and a tad cliche. This is a classic case of “they just don’t make em’ like they used to”. It’s a bit sad but I realize not everyone can make a ‘Mad Max: Fury Road’ and sometimes attaching the original directors to these sequels clearly doesn’t always equal movie magic. That being said, after seeing this last night my excitement level for the upcoming sequels to Bladerunner & Predator has severely lowered. I’d say if you’re a casual fan of the Alien franchise you’ll likely have a good time at the movies with this one but if you’re looking for the magic of the first two (or heck even the third & fourth) you’re bound to feel a bit empty as you exit the theater. At least now I’ve developed a new urge to revisit the ‘AVP’ movies, I mean damn, I was way too hard on those I think…
‘Bubba Ho-tep’ is easily one of my favorite movies and one of, if not Bruce Campbell’s best performance of his career. It’s also helmed by the legendary ‘Phantasm’ franchise’s creator Don Coscarelli and the two make an incredibly awesome combo together. So now there’s word that Joe Lansdale who wrote Bubba Ho-tep in novella form way back in 1994 has finished writing the prequel ‘Bubba and the Cosmic Blood Suckers’ a book that will be available this coming October from Subterranean Press. This is exciting news for fans of the novella and also for fans of Bruce Campbell & the movie.
For years there’s been talk of Don Coscarelli doing another “Bubba” movie, it even had a working title, ‘Bubba Nosferatu: The Curse of the She-Vampires’. This as awesome as it sounded however never came to be, though Coscarelli was totally down to make it Bruce Campbell refused to do another film unless Joe R. Lansdale wrote it. This led to rumors of Bruce being replaced by Ron Perlman which would have been pretty cool as well. That never came to be either dammit! Well now it seems the right ingredients have arrived as Lansdale’s book could lay the groundwork for us to finally see the sequel/prequel to the 2002 cult hit.
Bruce played an elderly Elvis in Bubba Ho-tep & could easily now step into the role of the younger middle aged character seamlessly for the prequel. I’m thinking that the possibility of seeing this one materialize on the big screen is pretty damn strong. Check out the synopsis here, this book sounds pretty fucking awesome and a movie version of this helmed once again by Don Coscarelli would be the icing on the cake:
“Part of a secret government organization designed to protect civilians, Elvis Presley and a handful of hardcore warriors set out to save the world from an invasion of hive-minded, shape-shifting vampire-like creatures from a dark dimension who have taken up residence in a New Orleans junkyard.
Besides Elvis, among these righteous warriors is a hammer-wielding descendent of John Henry of railroad fame, a Blind Man who sees more than those with sight, Jack, a strategic wizard, and Elvis’s right hand man and journal writer, Johnny, all thrown in with Raven (real name Jenny) a female recruit who is also a budding pop star, and like Elvis, high on the charisma chart.
Their leader is none other than Colonel Parker, Elvis’s cutthroat manager, and a warrior himself, directly in contact with President Nixon, or possibly one of his doubles.
It’s an unnerving peek into a secret world, and a possible delusion. It’s what happened before Elvis, aka Sebastian Haff, found himself in an East Texas rest home, mounted on a walker, fighting an Egyptian mummy and worrying about a growth on his pecker.
Strange monsters, wild fights, sex with a beautiful ghost, a drug-induced trip into another dimension, and all manner of mayhem ensue, along with a Mississippi riverboat ride on a giant paddle wheel, and of course, there will be 3D glasses, fried peanut butter and ’nanna sandwiches, and a few hard working zombies.
Bring the kids, but plug their ears and blindfold them. This is one wild and nasty ride to the dark side, but with laughter.”
Let’s get on Bruce Campbell & Don Coscarelli’s ass about making this a movie ASAP!
Damn was I disappointed with ‘The Thing’ remake/prequel from 2011! They had all of the ingredients together for a cool ass little prequel set to be a neat little companion piece to the original John Carpenter classic remake. His 1982 movie is the holy grail of monster movie for me and still stands the test of time today. StudioADI had crafted the special effects for the 2011 movie boasting practical effects on par with the 1982 classic. However what we ended up with was a piece o’ shit CG wankfest that was panned by critics and fans alike.
The sad thing is the practical effects they created/filmed were erased and they actually replaced what was really on film with CGI. God damn does that make me furious! Someone tried to take matters into their own hands back in 2015 by releasing a petition trying to get the working print of the film released with all the original fx work. Sadly the petition didn’t gather enough attention. Anyway today studioADI released a new video showing the practical effects that were filmed & designed for the movie!! Check this shit out:
Here’s another great video that gives you the full scoop on what went wrong with ‘The Thing’ 2011:
I had to take a quick moment here to mention a cool little indie flick back from 2010 that really slipped almost completely under the radar for most everyone. “The Myth of the American Sleepover” was directed by David Robert Mitchell who’s much more well known for his colossal hit horror flick from last year “It Follows”. Easily one of the best horror major movies of the last five years it got me wondering if the director maybe had anything else under his belt? One quick search on Netflix brought me to his first feature film.
Clearly Mitchell has got some serious talent and his first film is equally impressive but in very different and oddly familiar ways. Yeah The Myth of the American Sleepover actually kinda feels like It Follows minus the dismal horror. It’s a great coming of age flick with a full heart but equally oddly awkward teenage characters. It’s really a story about four teenagers again in Detroit looking for romance and action on the last weekend of summer.
You’re not going to find any cookie cutter characters here either, these kids act just like real teens and much like in It Follows the time period in the whole thing takes place is nearly impossible to peg down. Something i really dig. The movie brought back the feel of many of my own personal experiences as a teenager, I could almost picture myself running around town the same night as the kids in the movie. Another aspect the movie shared with It Follows was the odd almost dreamlike quality to it all. It’s hard to explain but this one has that same trance like feel which made It Follows such a gem.It also shares a couple of the same actors. And lastly the director must love the big indoor school swimming pools at night setting because I think these teens were at the same one in the finale of It Follows….hmm….
“Myth” feels like it’s somehow set in the same universe as it’s creepy younger brother. If you’re a fan of stuff like Freaks and Geeks, Richard Linklater flicks and are looking for something a little different most definitely check out The Myth of the American Sleepover. I’m really curious what David Robert Mitchell has up his sleeve next!
I’ve bitched and moaned here about my complete and utter disappointment for the 2011 version of ‘The Thing’, the prequel to Carpenter’s classic 1982 monster movie! To refresh your memory we were originally promised a movie that would not only be a prequel but also give us the same style of mind blowing practical creature effects the awed us way back in ’82. Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’ in my opinion is maybe the best creature feature of all time.
Yeah effects wizards at ADI (Amalgamated Dynamics Inc.) spent a ton of time and effort creating some truly astonishing practical creature FX for the movie only to have nearly ALL of them omitted from the final theatrical version of the film. Instead they gave us fans exactly what we DID NOT want, a bunch of slick, fake looking CGI in it’s place. This was a nightmare come true for all fans of the original. Well now it seems that that someone has decided to create a petition directed straight at the CEO of Universal Pictures Ronald Meyer. The petition is asking for what the fans wanted all along, the release of the work print of the 2011 film with all of the original practical monster effects that ADI worked so hard to bring us fans of the original!
This is a superb idea and something i have wondered about for so long. What would that film have looked like in it’s original form? Well now it’s time to demand that we see the film we were promised! If you’ve seen some of the Youtube videos of these FX then you know how incredible this movie just may have been!
So all of you Thing fans out there please take a minute to sign this petition and lets get the version of the prequel we all had been hoping for once and for all you can sign the Change.org petition right HERE! What are you waiting for?!
I am a big fan of much of Jim Carrey’s 90’s comedic roles, I love the Ace Ventura franchise, Liar Liar was brilliant and of course Dumb and Dumber is one of my favorite comedies of all time. I was thrilled to hear that a real sequel was finally going to happen for Dumb and Dumber, let’s try and forget that there was a low profile prequel back in 2003 called “Dumb and Dumberer” (great title though) which did not star Jim Carrey or Jeff Daniels and it was pretty terrible. So now we’ve got a reunion of sorts nearly 20 years later with the new movie. It’s always a tough call on whether or not they can recreate the magic of previous works, whether it be a band reforming or team of actors and directors targeting our nostalgia. So did Carrey, Daniels and The Farrelly brothers give us a worthy sequel? I’d have to say they gave it a decent shot, and there were some genuinely funny moments but in the end I think the movie tried a bit too hard with a much too complicated, almost carbon copy of the first, weak ass plot. This like the first in many ways, takes our two favorite aging numbskulls on yet another road trip. It places them in a completely ridiculous story that seems almost as unnecessary and dumb as the leads. I like stupid, but I love it more when Harry and Lloyd are placed in a more believable world and they interact with people who aren’t necessarily in on the joke as well. Just seeing what the two of them are up to these days would have been good enough for me without involving a ridiculous murder plot with characters that are equally as stupid, but not nearly as funny as and Harry & Lloyd. That being said there’s no shortage of the crude humor of the first and in many ways it goes even further down the truly “dumb” route. Exactly what you might expect from these two morons who appear to have aged quite a bit but remain the same mentally as they were 20 years ago. Now don’t get me wrong I totally think Carrey & Daniels still have the chemistry and had the plot and writing been more solid the movie would have been a real winner. It’s great seeing Carrey back at what really made him shine, ridiculously stupid characters, because no one can do it quite like him. The two of them are clearly having a great time onscreen together. That being said I feel perhaps the real problem here is maybe the Farrelly Brothers, I mean think about it, what was their last genuinely funny movie? I’d say they have three, Dumb & Dumber, Kingpin and There’s Something About Mary- were all excellent and those were also their first three movies. I hope that this spawns a third film for the real Harry and Lloyd, I’d honestly like to see these two get another shot with different directors and writers, because even though this one missed the mark their still two of my favorite movie idiots of all time. I’d say this one is worth a view but don’t expect the riot of the first flick!
I just checked out the long awaited trailer for a movie I’ve been pumped about for quite some time time now, Harbinger Down! If you follow my blog at all you’ve probably heard me complaining a lot about CGI and how there aren’t nearly enough movies these days that utilize rad practical monster effects like they used to back in the 1980’s. Well Alec Gillis at Studio ADI announced a while back that he planned on making a full on monster movie utilizing all practical effects only using CG to eliminate things like rods or wires.
You see a while back they made a prequel to the classic John Carpenter Monster flick “The Thing” and Gillis and his crew were hired to do the special effects, they were told to use all practical monster effects to keep the same vibe as the 1982 classic. They went hard to work and filmed much of the movie with the effects but at the last minute the studio changed their mind, and CG’d over all of there work, claiming that people these days like their movies to look more like modern video games. The movie was bashed by fans of the original and did little at the box office. So here is Alec Gillis’ response to what happened to them, a movie that bears some resemblance to the premise of The Thing, as if him and his crew is giving the fans the movie that they were hoping for in The Thing prequel. So take a look at the trailer, this one is on the top of my list!!