Ok so I don’t normally cover politics much here at Universal Dork and I really don’t plan to in the future! However I heard recently that former 80’s icon wrestler, action hero, Navy Seal and former Governor of Minnesota Jesse “The Body” Ventura is considering a run for President in 2020 with The Green Party. This upcoming election year could get a lot more interesting as Ventura is well known for not holding back his political views….whether you like em’ or not. For me Ventura’s been a big part of my childhood, I mean the guy starred in some totally awesome movies like Predator, The Running Man, Demolition Man & the largely unseen but awesome ‘Tag Team’ with Roddy Piper. Oh yeah and for those bad movie fanatics he also starred in Abraxas!
Anyway, in the last few days he’s been starting to talk once again about running for President in 2020, some months back he was asked at an airport by TMZ about it and had a few brash words for Trump if he runs, but then hasn’t mentioned the possible 2020 run again until now. Politically he’s always been an independent and has devoted a lot time presenting arguments on why The Democrats & Republicans are the true source of many of the country’s problems.
His political leanings are similar to Bernie Sanders in many ways and he’s always claimed if you are given a chance to debate the Democrats and The Republicans you can indeed beat them. He states they keep out all other political parties for a reason, so the two can continue on their two party dictatorship. I’d love to see Ventura enter the race, in this most recent interview he described Donald Trump as a “draft dodging coward” and I’d love to see that presented to Trump face to face in a damn debate!
Ventura’s an interesting guy for sure, many know him for heavily researching conspiracy theories and his most recent book ‘Jesse Ventura’s Marijuana Manifesto‘ favors the 100% legalization of cannabis across the USA. I’ve been intrigued by Jesse since I was a kid watching the WWF and Predator was the first R-rated movie I saw and snuck into in the theater. So yeah I’m ready for “The Body” to enter the 2020 field with The Greens if he’s really serious about it that is. If anything it’d be one helluva spectacle to behold! The Green Party has had zero luck getting the attention needed to be allowed onto the debate stage over the years and the hope would be that Ventura could finally generate enough hype in the media that the people would demand to see him included. If Jesse continues speaking with no filter it just very well could indeed happen. Imagine a third or even 4th voice in the debates-I think more perspectives are desperately needed here in the USA. It’s been a while since we got a third voice on a Presidential debate stage (Ross Perot 1992!) and I think if there was anyone out there who could gather enough controversy to be included on one it’d be Jesse “The Body” Ventura!
Now let’s keep in mind this isn’t the first time he’s mentioned running for prez as the amazing comedian James Adomian clearly shows in this awesome comedy skit about Jesse’s contemplation about the topic!
Dang!! It seems like it’s been forever since I’ve actually been looking forward to a new ‘Terminator’ movie, but with the release of these new photos of Linda Hamilton back as the one and only ‘Sarah Connor’ excitement has finally officially set in! Check these out from the upcoming James Cameron produced, 6th film in the franchise.
At 61 years old Linda Hamilton looks as bad ass as ever and actually looks even more imposing than she did back in 1991. This a huge boost for people who’ve been disgruntled about the movies since Terminator 2 and raises a lot of questions about what exactly this story will indeed really be about. As time travel is a focal point of the franchise it seems like the possibilities are really endless & anyone’s guess.
I’m hoping that Arnold’s role will be that of the T-800’s designer, who made the killing machine in his own image. That’d be awesome to see his character this time around the dude that needs to be saved. So as truly great as Linda looks back in her original role I’m compelled again to ask WHAT ABOUT EDWARD FURLONG?
Was he ever considered for the ‘John Connor’ role in this upcoming movie? I know the guy has seen some tough times over the years, but damn would I love to see him get in shape, clear his mind and make a killer comeback ala Robert Downey Jr!
I’m always totally down to see a killer new Sasquatch flick, the trouble is there’s been a LOT of pretty crappy ones made over the years with maybe just a few exceptions like Eduardo Sanchez’s ‘Exists’, ‘Abominable’ from 2006 and of course the classic ‘Harry and The Hendersons’. For some reason people have a tuff time bringing a believable Bigfoot to the big screen. Go figure. That leaves me believe people seem to think all they need is a tall dude to don an ape suit and they’ve got a worthy horror on their hands. The best ones though always put most of their money into their ‘Squatch creature fx and bring something truly believable to screen. Let’s face it, so many out there are faking Bigfoot videos on Youtube with rubber ape suits, believing what you’re seeing on screen is real is the first point of brilliance in a movie like this. Luckily “Primal Rage” is directed by fx wizard Patrick Magee (Jurassic Park 3/Progeny/AVP) and he put some serious effort into the crazed creature’s appearance in this movie. The best thing about this one is clearly the beast and that’s a damn good thing in this case.
Primal Rage’s actors aren’t trying to (or maybe even able to) win awards here and it’s got more in common at it’s core with a 70’s or 80’s killer creature flick than it does with something like Jurassic Park. The script is here might be a bit on the flimsy side but that makes way for tons of crazy Bigfoot action to go down. The premise is simple, an ex-con is just released from prison and picked up there by his girlfriend, as they drive through the mountains of Pacific Northwest (en route back home) they get side tracked when a mangled man stumbles into the road and is hit by their car. When they get out to investigate they almost immediately come under attack from large rocks being hurled at them, ex-con guy gets knocked off a cliff into a river and his lover jumps down to save him from drowning. This begins a fight for their lives in the woods are they’re pursued by “Oh-Mah” a pissed off native american mythical cryptid, AKA Sasquatch.
The interesting thing here is that “Oh-Mah” is actually an intelligent, brutal hunter who wears a bark mask and uses a bevy of handcrafted weapons to attack his prey. He also fucks shit up with his bare hands any chance he gets. He’s brutal as hell in this one, firing arrows and ripping people to shreds who’re dumb enough to hanging around in his stompin’ grounds. Bigfoot’s a calculated cold blooded killer here and there’s plenty of people for him to rip into, especially as there’s conveniently a gang of backwoods weirdos ala Deliverance who’re in desperate need of an ass-kickin shooting the shit in the vicinity. Bigfoot pulls no punches either, Magee pulls out some crazy ass sequences of practical gore a’plenty and his Bigfoot, “Oh-Mah” looks fantastic. He’s huge and it’s clear they put plenty of work into his animatronic face to make him a convincing and memorable movie monster.
There’s also a sweet supernatural sub-plot going on with the local Native American sheriff who’s out for Oh-Mah’s hide (this dude should have been the main character) and a crazy wood witch who looks like she stepped right out of Ridley Scott’s “Legend”. Magee does a fine job here creating a ton of cool action sequences and an explosive ‘final boss’ battle. Bigfoot does have a questionable scene where he forces himself upon a female captive that I could have done without, but luckily it’s a brief, more implied scene. Otherwise this one’s a ton of gory fun that’s not to be taken too seriously. It’s a good mix of Predator, Pumpkinhead & Deliverance with some ‘Squatch making it it one of the best of it’s genre. A must see addition to Bigfoot’s horror legacy!
‘Alien: Covenant’ finally dropped at theaters yesterday, and after all the hype the smoke finally cleared as I sat back for a late night viewing of the “prequel” for the legendary horror franchise. Ridley Scott returns again after the lackluster ‘Prometheus’ for purely passable installment that is Alien: Covenant. I wasn’t a huge fan of Prometheus, it’s one of those movies I can’t say I ever care about seeing again and same is the case also with ‘Covenant’. It does though fit quite nicely alongside the current trend of forgettable sequels to once amazing movie franchises of the 80’s that are cranked out these days. It’s like the ‘Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull’ of the Alien series, making the third and fourth installments of the Alien franchise suddenly feel more legit.
This doesn’t mean I hated the movie, it just means that I’m quickly growing tired of the trend of sequels that I once endlessly pined for. It pains me to see Ridley Scott now for a second time bringing us such uninspired pieces of cinema. The movies large cast of characters hasn’t got anyone in it you’re likely to give a damn about and spends it’s time focusing on the android “twin btother” characters played by Michael Fassbender instead. ‘Covenant’ simply feels like Ridley has run out of ideas and decided to start lifting major plot points from ‘Bladerunner’ simultaneously trying to re-create a “best of” compilation of scary scenarios from his first Alien movie.
So while no one from the cast gets much time to develop into much more than alien prey you might think that at the very least we’d get quite possibly the best most bad ass version of the legendary ‘Alien’ creature now that it’s 2017 and they’ve more than got the budget to do so. Quite the contrary, ‘Alien: Covenant’ can’t even get that right for fans. For a movie that’s been boasting impressive practical fx work from day one you’re likely to be disappointed by it’s incredibly cartoony looking aliens littered about the movie frantically. Heck the fx work in this movie makes the two ‘AVP’ flicks suddenly feel kinda legit as well and that’s a damn hard thing to do. Long gone is the suspense & stylized horror of the old movies, instead you’ll be treated to the same old CGI schlock you’re used to from all the huge summer blockbusters. The Alien franchise officially lost it’s heart & soul quite a long time ago and even bringing Scott aboard hasn’t resulted in finding it. Right down to final battle, this movie simply fails, proving that we ALL really miss Sigourney Weaver in a BIG way. Ridley has now truly mastered mediocrity as I honestly may’ve actually enjoyed Prometheus more than this, because at least with that one I wasn’t expecting much there from the start.
At least one thing Ridley got right were the locations & sets he used in filming this movie. It’s visually stunning in that respect. However I’m realizing I was actually quite fine with NOT knowing the backstory of the Alien and honestly liked it when we knew nothing about it’s origins when it was little more than a monstrous stow away. The mystery is gone and instead what we end up with plot wise begins to feel a bit absurd and a tad cliche. This is a classic case of “they just don’t make em’ like they used to”. It’s a bit sad but I realize not everyone can make a ‘Mad Max: Fury Road’ and sometimes attaching the original directors to these sequels clearly doesn’t always equal movie magic. That being said, after seeing this last night my excitement level for the upcoming sequels to Bladerunner & Predator has severely lowered. I’d say if you’re a casual fan of the Alien franchise you’ll likely have a good time at the movies with this one but if you’re looking for the magic of the first two (or heck even the third & fourth) you’re bound to feel a bit empty as you exit the theater. At least now I’ve developed a new urge to revisit the ‘AVP’ movies, I mean damn, I was way too hard on those I think…
I’m a big fan of military horror flicks like Predator, Dog Soldiers and Frankenstein’s Army so this new trailer for Tank 432 I thought looked pretty darn interesting. I also really liked director Ben Wheatley’s ‘Kill List’ quite a bit and this one looks just as intriguing.
It looks like neat little claustrophobic horror movie that finds a group of soldiers having survive the night from an evil force and whole up inside of an abandoned tank. It’s already been described as a mix between Dog Soldiers and Jacob’s Ladder and if it delivers on that promise then I’m certain this one is going to a sure fire win. Check out the trailer:
What the hell is up with Hollywood and The Joker?! It seems that they just don’t have any real clue on how to go about bringing The Joker to life on the big screen! This new Suicide Squad movie is giving me bad vibes and Jared Leto’s at it again trying to gain weight for yet another role. Apparently this time we may be getting a “fat” or muscular Joker, in a recent interview in Billboard he went to say this about his upcoming role as The Joker-“I’m trying to gain weight,” Leto told his interviewer, while munching on vegan tacos. “It means I have to eat every couple of hours — and I’m terrible at eating a lot.” Does he even know who The Joker is and what he looks like?
I’ll go on record saying that I enjoyed Nicholson’s pudgy Joker and Heath Ledger’s normal guy Joker with a painted face and yeah I loved Cesar Romero’s look with his mustached Joker (probably the closest looking to the comic book of the mainstream) but none of those Jokers got it “right”. When I see any of them I have to say “he did a good job but he really didn’t scream classic Joker to me”. I have said it before the only one who truly nailed The Joker’s comic book look was Andrew “Boner” Koenig from the brilliant Batman “Dead End” short film.
What’s up with Hollywood? Why would Leto need to put on the pounds to play The Joker? Hearing this news make me pretty disappointed. The Joker is the most iconic comic book villain of all time, so why can’t they give us the classic Joker already? I often wonder why these movies have to tweak a machine that is clearly not broken! Give us a comic book Joker, no face scars, not fat or muscular, just a rail thin freak of man who’s completely bat shit crazy! Maybe Leto should have played the Penguin?! This, Hollywood, is what the Joker looks like…
And if you somehow missed Batman: Dead End check it!
This last weekend I checked out the latest installment of The Expendables, it was just like the first two, a damn good time in the theater. Simple premise and action packed to the brim, like the many action movies of the 1980’s. I remain a bigger fan of the second movie among the three but I’d be down for another chapter, but will anyone else line up for one? I noticed the theater was nearly empty, though I did see the movie in a smaller town up in the north woods of Wisconsin. Still I had this feeling that perhaps the movie was destined to flop. Flop it did, but they are blaming this failure on a leaked version of the movie that hit online some time ago.
Part of me wonders though if the formula is as charming as it once was? Sure part 3 was a fun time, but it was also a bit of a replay of the first two, with the exception of some of the younger Expendables added to the cast. I also seem to think that Mel Gibson, though he did a good job as the villain, may in part be responsible for the film flopping. Every time he appeared on screen all I could do is cringe. It seems that no one is ready for Gibson to step into the spotlight after all of his bullshit over the years, even if he ends up getting his ass kicked by Stallone in the end.
So is this the end of the mighty Expendables? I think it very well could be. I really can’t see being too incredibly excited about the same old same old again in yet another movie. What really needs to happen here if the franchise does by chance continue on is a genre switch. It should be jam packed with action, but we really need to see something interesting happening with the plot if this is going to generate any excitement at all again. This was on the table for the third flick when they were tossing around new plot lines, they had one in particular which raised a lot of eyebrows. It involved the Expendables going up against some sort of creature or mutated super soldier. A sort of Predator-esque style sci-fi monster movie starring our favorite 80’s bad asses. I was thrilled at the possibility!
Stallone has owned the film rights to the novel “Hunter” by James Byron Huggins for about 10 years now and never managed to make a film. I say it’s time to get the team together to fight some creatures which is exactly what “Hunter” is all about. I think it’s time to trim down the fat of the team for the next flick, and what better way than getting rid of some of the Expendables by way of a mutant monster picking them off! Keep the crowd pleasers, like Stallone, Statham, Lungren and Arnold, add a couple new guys like Jackie Chan, Pierce Brosnan, Roddy Piper & Hulk Hogan.
Here’s the official synopsis of “Hunter” can’t you picture this as the 4th installment?
“Nathaniel Hunter (or Barney Ross) could track anyone, or anything, on Earth. Now the military desperately needs him for a mission that his ultra sensitive instincts tell him he should refuse. A beast is loose somewhere north of the Arctic Circle. It has already decimated a secret research facility and annihilated a squad of elite military guards. And the raging creature is headed south toward civilization, ready to wreak bloody devastation. It is a job Hunter cannot turn down, but he soon discovers that his prey is terror incarnate, a half-human abomination created by a renegade agency through a series of outlawed genetic experiments. It has man’s cunning, a predator’s savageness, and a prehistoric power that has transcended the ages. And even if Hunter survives its unrelenting hunger for human blood, he will still have to confront the grim reality that it may have grown immortal.”
Keep the plot simple but give us something different and exciting. It is the perfect recipe for an ensemble action movie. If there is is any hope for the old guys it’s going to come in the shape of something new thats melds a different genre to the formula…..make it happen Stallone!!