Tagged: vhs

SUBURBAN COMMANDO (1991) is the GREATEST Hulk Hogan Film EVER?!

Greetings to all you lilted Hulkamaniacs!! We’ve got a brand new episode of Universal Dork on YouTube up now & today we’re covering 1991 Sci-Fi action comedy family friendly-ish cult classic starring Hulk Hogan, Christopher Lloyd, The Undertaker and Shelley Duvall: muthafukin’ SUBURBAN COMMANDO!!!

We just knew  that you didn’t get enough of Hulk Hogan’s sexy-ass bod with the last episode of NO HOLDS BARRED (1989) so we decided to go even deeper into Hogan’s Movie career with this awesome under appreciated buddy comedy. You get some slapstick comedy, some intergalactic space battles, mime abuse, a pretty rad looking alien monster for Hogan to fight as well as a debatable brawl with The Undertaker and so much more! Check it out right HERE:

Original Ghostbuster’s Ray Parker Jr Battles Tony Todd in 1987’s ENEMY TERRITORY!

I sat down a few nights ago to give a rewatch to my recently re-acquired VHS “Enemy Territory” a rad movie back from the 1980’s (when you might have been able to really get people pumped about another Ghostbusters flick!). It’s star power being the man who made the Ghostbusters theme song a bonafide hit back in 1984- Ray Parker Jr.!! I just had to take moment on my new U-Dork Youtube channel to give it my full attention and to make the case why this flick needs a hot and fancy blu ray!


It’s a race for survival as Ray Parker Jr. kicks some serious  gang ass while trying to make it from the top floor to “safety” on the streets. It’s a serious ton of 80’s fun, a true lost gem! Seek this one out and check out why I say you gotta take a trip into “enemy territory”!

Terror at the Hong Kong MALL! 1986’s ABRACADABRA & Supernatural Retail Mayhem!

I just busted out another video on the U-Dork YouTube channel, I’m not talking about Disney Star Wars or the latest Ghostbusters movie. Nope I’m going deep into Hong Kong Cinema to cover a really cool, super obscure supernatural adventure that takes place in 1986 in a mall! Abracadabra is a ton of fun and from the director of ‘Wicked City’ so you know it’s going to be blast.

I’d say this movie filled with ghouls, ghosts and a plethora of 80s fashion and nostalgia is ripe for the picking by the boutique blu ray labels for genuine release and a brand new rabid fan following. So we  talk “mall horror” and deep dive into the wild colorful world brought to you by Hong Kong cult director Peter Mak Tai-Kit. Check this one out and sub to the new channel!

 

 

1984’s NINJA BUSTERS: Kung Fu Boneheads Go the DISTANCE!

I love a good 1980s bonehead, but what’s even better are in my opinion are two lovable dipshits sharing the screen equally! Goodie for me that I just checked out the blu ray from Garage House Pictures, who released this one a while back for the very first time to the public. Ninja Busters was shelved for decades NEVER seen before by the public, that was until the 35mm print of this film was discovered and what treat it is to behold in all of it’s idiotic glory!

Yes, Ninja Busters feature two woman crazed “bosom buddies”, Bernie & Chic, who are absolutely desperate to score with the chicks and live a laid back slacker life. However when they discover that their new employer is actually running an illegal arms operation out of their warehouse they get the shit kicked out of them by their bosses henchmen. Soon they’re on the move for work and accidentally stumble upon a martial arts class in session that’s loaded with hot lady students they decide they’ve just got to enlist-but NOT to learn Kung Fu-but to try and get laid-these guys are a class act that’s for sure. These two knuckleheads learn quite quickly that their new sensei ain’t impressed with their shenanigans and neither are the ladies to say the least, they’re soon put on a Kung Fu crash course and surprisingly rise to the occasion with some hard work and training.

Soon their lives begin to change, they’re still a couple of lovable sex starved morons but their dedication to the martial arts starts to pay off with their fighting skills AND their sex lives. But between hanging with their new love interests, slices of pizza and more training they soon find themselves weaved back into the evil illegal web of their former employer, who now wants to shut them up for good, now with an army of ninjas behind him. This flicks a full on delight, it’d make for a perfect opener to a double feature with ‘Miami Connection’, Ninja Busters has that same heart and charm that make both movies so memorable. In fact even if there wasn’t ANY kung fu in the movie at all I’d be totally fine hanging out watching Bernie & Chic just bein’ best friends and striking out with the babes-these guys are comic gold.

It’s sorta like watching Jack Tripper & Larry from Three’s Company hang out for a full hour and a half but with some sweet brawls and even some breakdancing! This movie’s just all around good vibes with totally over the top characters, idiotically evil villains, hot babes, bad acting and whole lot of 80s fashion and charm to chomp on. The blu ray is out of print but a great lookin’ version of the film is up on YouTube for free to watch. Get some beers, babes and buddies together for a truly charming little action comedy that most definitely deserves a much larger cult fan base!

1993’s Kamen Rider Zo: Kicks MAJOR Monster Butt!!

If you’re like me and are totally obsessed with monsters then I’ve  got a great recommendation for you! 1993’s ‘KAMEN RIDER ZO’  Is a short & sweet, bizarre little super hero adventure that packs a monstrous punch to the gut. Clocking in at around 50 minutes, it wastes no time getting to the action and wild special effects sequences that are jam-packed into this little nasty nugget.

I must admit, I’m a bit of a newbie to this character and the fairly extensive lore behind him. Kamen Rider (aka Masked Rider) was established in the early 1970s and has several different iterations through the years. One thing is certain the character is an iconic Japanese superhero and his costume is obviously top notch-This 1993 film too is the perfect intro to the character and so up my alley with all of the crazy monster villains. A bit for me like ‘Guyver 2’ if it had all the clunky exposition trimmed.

That all being said, I’d heard that this was a great place to start and maybe one of the most inventive visually, as well as over the top, action-packed and violent than any of the other installments. Naturally I was thrilled to find out that the director Keita Amemiya is the same person who did one of my all time favorite Japanese action monster movies: ‘Zeiram’ from 1991 and another fave being 1988’s Cyber Ninja.

Also the effects artist being responsible for the totally bonkers fx of another absolute Hong Kong favorite gem of mine ‘The Peacock King’. With this fast paced little adventure you’re going to get all the frenetic action sequences and all of the cool practical fx mayhem jammed packed into “Terminator” style chase film. A group of creatures are hunting down a little boy and it’s up to Kamen Rider to stop them.

That’s all you really need to know, as the version I watched had pretty subpar subtitles & was a bit difficult to follow plot wise to say the least-but who cares! The flick, which was originally planned as a feature film was massively cut down from it’s original vision. That being said it’s almost ALL eye candy and for me it made the perfect warm up for my movie nite where the main even was the glorious 1995 film ‘Godzilla vs. Destroyah’. More on that first watch for me later.

It features some impressive monsters for tour badass grasshopper themed hero to pummel on, one being a sort of “predator” style creature as well as a totally bonkers spider/human hybrid freak with some dazzling stop-motion & also a grotesque bat-man who takes flight to cause everyone major headaches. It’s drenched in style and oozing with great atmosphere as well as a genuine cyberpunk style with dashes of straight up horror.

The fight scenes are quite cleverly choreographed too and the action sequences filled with fine detail are a marvel to behold. The sets and locations aren’t skimped on either, it’s all so colorful to soak in & the kind of film that when it ends you might feel a bit cheated (in a good way mind you) by its swift runtime and craving more monstrous mayhem in its wake.

Bear in mind too, ‘Kamen Rider: Zo’ is not really a kids film either-though there’s not a ton of “human blood” there’s a good amount of goopy monster carnage to relish in. Oh yeah and Kamen Rider cruises around on a rad motorcycle too, usually before he’s ready to beat on some creeps and the main character who plays the masked rider’s alter ego is quite the well dressed hunk!

I give high praises to this largely forgotten little film that probably should have a proper release here in the USA, I got a sweet dvd copy from Taiwan on eBay but you can also check it out on Youtube:

 

U-Dork Youtube Channel Drops FIRST Episode: 1989’s ‘NO HOLDS BARRED’ w/ Hulk Hogan!

The day has finally arrived in celebration of 15 damn YEARS of Universal Dork, I’ve decided to create an officical U-Dork YouTube channel! Oh yeeeeah, party time has begun! I’ve teamed up with one of the original blog collaborators, James Hall & our very first episode has officially dropped. Here we cover the 1989 classic wrestling/action/drama hybrid ‘NO HOLDS BARRED’ starring none other than Hulk Hogan!!

We also chat about VHS collecting at the Goodwill Bins and a lot of useless cinematic garbage centered around 80s pro “Wrasslin”. But we also pose the deeper question…. is Hulk Hogan HOT?! Let us know what YOU think and make sure to check this one out and feel free to subscribe because we’re going to be making more videos in the near future!

 

Movie Review: J.R. Bookwalter Returns with Gooey Horror Social Satire ‘SIDE EFFECTS MAY VARY’!

Lately I’ve been checking out a bunch of J.R. Bookwalter’s movies that I somehow missed out on over the years, films like ‘Ozone‘ and ‘Robot Ninja” (which I can’t wait to review) as well as recently hooking myself up for a rewatch with the blue ray of his bonafide cult jam- ‘The Dead Next Door‘!  But most interesting is that he’s just released a brand new film after a 20 plus year hiatus. His latest ‘Side Effects May Vary‘ is currently on tour. Yes the director himself has gone on the road to exclusively show this bizarre new film in select indie theaters only, well before it streams anywhere or has any other physical release other than an exclusive VHS (I need one of these!).

However I was able to check this nasty little nugget out early and soak up all the gory goo drenched shenanigans that ensue in this weird little adventure. Basically what we’ve got here going on is a fairly simple story, flashback a couple of years to the height of the latest pandemic when everyone was getting the covid vaccine like it’s a god damn McDonald’s hamburger! We have our main character a mild-mannered middle-aged man named GLENN ROLLINS (um yeah I love that obviously) who just doesn’t wanna get the jab despite pressure from his wife as well as currently being sick as a dog at home. Meanwhile we get a glimpse into what’s going on with the newest safest, state of the art Covid-19 vaccine that’s getting ready to hit the market. It’s set to safely treat the entire population of the planet. So deep inside a secret pharmaceutical research center that’s tucked away in the countryside, we witness a test subject get injected with an unknown substance that immediately causes some, shall we say, interesting reactions to say the least. It seems this new vax does indeed have some intriguing side effects and our main dude Glenn finally gives in to the mounting pressure. Essentially to satisfy his wife by “doing the right thing”, he reluctantly agrees to the latest, safest and MOST utterly effective, state of the art, yet totally experimental covid vaccine at a doctors appointment. This thing is supposedly gonna save the world from the sickness- so what’s the goddamn fuss about already – right?


Initially the thing makes him feel like a million bucks, but soon his normal boring life begins to drastically change – first off his wife immediately finds him more attractive (woohoo!) and feels the urge to get frisky with her hubby. There’s surprisingly plenty of gratuitous nudity here in Bookwalter’s latest (remember what that was back in the 1980s?!) to behold and that’s the first sign that I was seeing something that felt ripped from the “golden era of horror” but also cleverly grounded in modern times. Yeah, let’s be honest here you just don’t really see good nudity like this anymore in current films. There I said it! It was kind of a breath of fresh air as an avid 80s horror fanatic, especially seeing Brinke Stevens playing the nosey neighbor next door watching some genuinely shocking events go down eagerly with her binoculars. Yeah the scream queen who’d spent plenty of time in her “birthday suit” was now on the opposite end of the spectrum in a completely charming little role in this film.

Including her here was a treat  – 1988’s ‘Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama’ is a fave of mine & that reminds me I NEED to see the sequel! Ok though, from this point on things do get pretty perverse, but in that old school low budget, practical effects heavy way that I’ve really missed so damn much over the years. It’s really all quite charming. Not just all the fx work on display-but the general vibe of it. This one might even make a good double feature with something like ‘Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama’. It has that same sort of playfulness and disgusting charm.

Ok, well sadly for Glenn, he does develop a few “side effects” that sort of put the kibosh on his passionate sexy time session, at least for the moment. Confused and most likely humiliated by his sexual performance or lack there of, he races out into the city while his side effects do indeed “vary” in to the next level. This leaves him to encounter a zany cast of colorful characters along the way. He’s also develops a new hobby: SPOILERS: killing people! It’s quite obvious this safe and effective vaccine might’ve caused him a few more problems than the initial covid infection-but hey at least he’s not worried about relapsing with latest current strain I suppose?

Luckily the cops are on the case. One of his pals Jack, a former police officer, teams up with his old boss from the force. They quickly go on the move to find this heavily vaccinated freak of nature as he ventures deep into the night. So yeah, there’s lots to enjoy here not only as a horror film but also equally a social satire that puts a lot of our human behavior during the covid-19 pandemic under the lens of the microscope. The societal pressures to conform, big pharma propaganda, public paranoia, conspiracy theories & general trust in our Gov’t institutions are all addressed. But not in any sort of weird polarizing way. Instead Bookwalter lets the audience forget about the real world stresses of it all & just shows the whole damn thing play out in an entirely entertaining, absurd fashion. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a courageous effort of dark satirical commentary but it’s also really just a wild little old school splatter flick at heart. The kind of movie Romero might’ve even crafted if he’d still been alive today.

It also pleasantly breaks the usual tropes in sweet yet subtle manner, one of my favorites being the ex-cop character Jack and his boss Chief Tom Danvers. Their rather unique past on the force together, erupting with emotions tied to an intense night off the job at a holiday party is an interesting character study.  I love the way their interactions were handled in response to this unforgettable event at least for one of them. That being said as much as I enjoyed the film-the way it was shot looked maybe a little too crisp. Bare in mind I just recently watched Ozone & Robot Ninja, two bonafide 80’s & 90’s horror classics IMO. So coming into this one the look of it all was a bit shocking coming directly off his older work.

I love the grimy look of ‘shot on video’ stuff and the beauty of shooting a movie like ‘Robot Ninja’ on film. I know, it’s 2024, so to actually shoot on film is expensive and probably pretty annoying BUT Bookwalter fans I know personally really do crave the look of his earlier work. A small criticism, but if ‘Side Effects May Vary’ had been shot in a similar manner I think it’ve been that much more impactful to longtime fans of his productions.

At the end of the day though it’s most definitely a gory little horror character study for the modern times that really pushes the envelope, takes risks and dresses it all up in a bloody, slimy mess of old school oozing practical FX very reminiscent of Bookwalter’s cult classics. An absurd cautionary tale for the polarized pandemic era that we’re hopefully on the other side of-if you dig his earlier flicks check this out with a live audience – likely coming to the big screen in a city near YOU!


 

 

The MOVIE MELT Podcast Heads to 80s Hong Kong for the Ultimate Vengeance of ‘PROFILE IN ANGER’!

Check out the latest episode of MOVIE MELT where we travel again to Hong Kong this time in 1984 as we cover the over the top action revenge film PROFILE IN ANGER. This nasty little film packs a powerhouse punch & most definitely deserves a larger cult following and a whole lotta love from action movie fanatics who might have let this one slip under the radar. Hong Kong took action to the next level in ways that would make Sly & Arnold shiver inter boots! Things go completely off the rails in it’s explosive final act as we follow this twisting tale of bloody revenge in the way that only Hong Kong can deliver!

Being a huge fan of Hong Kong cult cinema, I think PROFILE IN ANGER is definitely a hidden gem that’s largely forgotten even by connoisseurs of the genre so here you’ll get the full scoop on all the juicy details that went into making this weird little flick. The episode’s also filled with more useless cinematic mayhem than your brain can humanly comprehend as well as another installment of “battle of the bands”! We also talk about some of the coolest damn movies that we think you might be missing out on again in the latest installment of  Movie Melt!

VHS VERDICT: 1989’s ‘KILLER’ is one HELL of a Wild Low Budget Thrill ride!!

I love it when I see a movie from the 80s that somehow fell through the cracks for me, especially one that delivers the gory goods as hard as 1989’s ‘KILLER!‘ from Tony Elwood!  I got a chance to check out the Electro Video/Lunchmeat VHS facilitated and boy was it a wild damn ride. Essentially more of a thriller than a “slasher” with a very slight “supernatural” edge, ‘Killer!’ is leaps and bounds better than so many similar genre movies with 50 times the budget. That’s what makes this film so damn charming and deserving of a much broader audience with fans of horror cult cinema. ‘Killer’ certainly doesn’t reinvent the wheel but everything it does, it does so well while retaining that 1980s nostalgia of regional films like J.R. Bookwalter’s ‘The Dead Next Door’ or Leif Jonker’s ‘Darkness: The Vampire Version’.

We get the simple story of a killer (Duke Ernsberger) on the loose in a small rural North Carolina community who’s completely deranged and determined to mutilate anyone who stands in his way of his vicious killing spree. Most of the success of it and how it plays out weighs heavily on the shoulders of the villain played quite convincingly by Ernsberger. He brings an intense, disturbing, believable ferocity to the screen that you normally don’t see in films with a budget this minuscule ($8,000). This guy slashes, shoots, rips and beats people down in grim and intense ways and gives no fucks doing so. The practical effects on display here are wickedly bloody & actually pretty believable which really adds to the movie’s punch as it moves at a brisk tense pace and by the third act erupts into total high stakes mayhem.

Somehow this weird little indie film reaches rises to genuinely terrifying levels of horror in its third act when “SPOILERS”: the killer reveals himself as not only a cannibal but delivers one of the most terrifying monologs I’ve maybe ever heard from a horror movie antagonist. The scene is more disturbing than any of the gory deaths that precede it, with only dialogue. It’s incredible how well cleverly constructed writing like this can massively change the vibe of a horror film, transforming into an entirely different beast altogether. The killer plays ‘Russian roulette’ in front of his (soon to be dinner) victim he’s held captive, revealing that no matter how many times he pulls the trigger it will NEVER fire the bullet into his skull. But you might expect this to be some crazy parlor trick, he uses the same gun to suddenly deliver a stunning shot at his captives hopeful rescuers who’re making an attempt to foil his horrific plans.

In the film’s finale it’s anyones guess who’s gonna live or die. As terrifying as this man is, it’s amusing actually how susceptible to pain he is as he wines and squeal while taking a damn beating. Not quite the Michael Meyers type, which is refreshing but leaves the viewer pondering if he’s indeed being guided by evil supernatural forces or merely a delusional defeatable human on a lucky rampage. I give high praises to KILLER and was pretty blown away with it’s effective horror, mystery and action on display. It’s gotten a blu ray release from Terror Vision-so if this sounds like fun to you check it OUT!

 

J.R. Bookwalter Returns With Slimy Pandemic Fueled Horror: SIDE EFFECTS MAY VARY!

After recently reviewing J.R. Bookwalter’s awesome 90s horror/mutant action hybrid film ‘OZONE‘ I was quite excited to dig into more of his filmography! Already being a big fan of ‘THE DEAD NEXT DOOR‘  and recently purchasing (gonna check it soon!) ‘ROBOT NINJA‘ I was super curious just what this guy has been up to these days, if anything at all? Well I was quite happy to find out that he’s indeed been quite busy working hard a brand new film that he’s currently taking on the road for a tour of some incredible independent theaters across the country. J.R. however has not made a new movie in over 20 years, so obviously this new feature horror film called ‘SIDE EFFECTS MAY VARY‘ he’s recently completed called has really peaked my interest. I’m hoping for some old school horror and I think I’m going to get just that!

 Judging from the trailer that just recently dropped it looks to be more of everything that I’ve originally loved from his blood soaked, fx driven earlier films. This appears to be not only a gruesome practical effects extravaganza but also like George Romero’s great films a social commentary on our current state of recent affairs across the globe. It takes place during a pandemic and it looks like our main character here has just received some sort of vaccination that to his surprise, doesn’t quite do what it claimed to & gives him some pretty gory side effects to deal with. Having just gone through the pandemic (some still claim is raging on) one thing is clear- we had a major debate going on around the world about just how safe and effective the covid 19 vaccine actually was.

I’d say there’s definitely a solid debate to be had about it all now that the smoke’s more or less cleared-as some people reported some intense side effects, which makes this one’s plot quite intriguing and for some people maybe even quite triggering. That I suppose remains to be seen, whatever the case I think the topic is prime for a horror flick!

One thing was certain at least in the real world, people were polarized on the topic and quickly turned on each other. We witnessed some unnerving behavior and many now even distrust the Government and big pharma even more than pre-pandemic. Trump’s ‘Operation Warp Speed’ teamed with massive pharma companies and immediately a debate raged about the safety of what some deemed a rushed experimental medical intervention. Whatever you might think we can all agree, it was a real shit show to say the least, kinda like this image below…

The world was turned upside down for several years by the pandemic AND the extreme polarization of people in fear of the virus and others of the vaccine. Here Bookwalter seems to be putting all of this behavior under a microscope in a slightly grotesque but comical way for an examination, delivering a completely over the top looking body altering horror film. Sign me up!

I’m totally curious to check this out and see exactly what his take on the whole situation is here, as he’s mentioned before that he’s quite distrusting of the Government in general and after everything we’ve been through-can you really blame him?! Oh yeah on a different note it also stars scream queen Brinke Stevens pictured below.

First and foremost though he’s stated that people should really just have fun with this film, as it’s ultimately really all about the gruesome spectacle of it all. I’m not sure if it brings to the table any political sentiments, I’ve heard it shows some of the absurdism from both sides of the isle as well as the media. So without further ado, if you’re a fan of this his past work and might not have been aware that he’s just recently completed a brand new flick, check out this wildly gory trailer. Hopefully ‘Side Effects May Vary’ is coming to town here in Portland! I say bring it on-stir the pot and let’s see what you got!

Also here’s a really cool interview he just did on Cereal at Midnight that goes deep into his past and covers why he’s come back to deliver the gory goods yet another time: