Tagged: comedy

Movie Melt: ‘DADDY CAN’T DANCE’ is ‘The ROOM’ Meets ‘BREAKIN’!

So Daddy Can’t Dance?! Dont be so sure of that!! On this episode of the Movie Mellt podcast we cover the extremely cringe inducing but incredibly entertaining vanity project ‘Daddy Can’t Dance’ from 2006!

 Believe me when I say you kinda just have to see it to believe it when I’m talkin’ ’bout ‘Daddy Can’t Dance’. Originally titled ‘White Men Can’t Dance’, this one features a former 80’s breakdancer, now middle aged, out of touch, out of shape, office man who decides to give it one more shot!  He heads back on the cardboard dance floor when he enters a highly competitive, high stakes breakdancing competition to save the life of his dying daughter! Sheesh, this one’s heeeeeavy!!

 Yep! Daddy jumps back on the B-boy scene and tries his best to get into shape and learn some new fresh moves that will put him on the map and land him hopefully the mantle as number one king breakdance champ!  The odds are certainly stacked against him as he not only attempts to get his groove back but also thinks that he’s the funniest man to walk the planet as he gets himself into a series of highly uncomfortable situations, using his fully out of touch humor that he still thinks is everone is hip to!

 If you’re a fan of ‘The Room’, Tommy Wiseau and ‘Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo’ then feast your eyes upon ‘Daddy Can’t Dance’ ASAP! On this episode we cover this cinematic oddity as well chat about tons of movie mayhem and  also have a “battle of the movie band’s” competition! So If you’re into cinematic oddities, check out the LATEST episode of MOVIE MELT right HERE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The SHE-HULK Series’ “Roger Rabbit” Style CGI!

Yowza!! So the day has finally come, yes, we finally get the official full length ‘She-Hulk: Attorney-at-Law’ trailer that dropped TODAY!  Awwwww yeah!

As a giant fan of the character, who’s been one of my favorites since the 1980s (especially the ’89 John Byrne series) I’ve got a little bit to say about this! How can it possibly be that Marvel’s CGI seems to be getting WORSE rather than better?!

  I’ve been very apprehensive about how they were going to create ol’ Shulkie and bring her to the “live action” MCU & my literal worst nightmare just came true upon viewing this damn trailer! Arrrrrrgh! She-Hulk definitely has a retrovibe here, but not in a good way but a retro nineties level CGI vibe! 

 First and foremost let me say that I was actually impressed with the with the “story” and style of the trailer & with the direction that it seems to be headed. It’s exactly what I was hoping for in a She-Hulk series! That’s why this is particularly frustrating.

I can definitely feel the spirit of John Byrne’s iconic run right here materializing on screen in this trailer. Nice work, unfortunately She-Hulk looks more like Shrek, when I saw just how bizarre the CGI on She-Hulk AND The Incredible Hulk actually are so far here. At this point I just kind of wish they would have gotten a real living breathing female body builder to portray the character. This is what I like to call a sort of “Roger Rabbit” style live action CGI attempt, only unlike Roger rabbit we’re supposed to believe SHE is an actual real life character. Hmmm..this is indeed perplexing for a couple reasons..

I’m just NOT buying it true believers!  Somebody better jump in quick and “Sonic the Heddgehog” this shit. She-Hulk deserves way better than this, there’s simply no excuse for the sub par level of FX in a show by produced by a multi-billion dollar corporation. Disney/Marvel get your shit together fast, cuz this is embarrassing!

SHE-HULK #1 Misses the Charm of the 1980s!

It’s been quite a while since I visited my local comic book shop (Cosmic Monkey in PDX!!) but but the new ‘She-Hulk’ series I’d heard about gave me enough ammo to figure it would be worth finally stopping in for a visit again. I was pretty pumped to hear that She-Hulk was supposedly going back to her “roots” finally, something that’s been presented as more of a return to form to the original John Byrne series of the 1980s. Count me in!

 First I must admit, the cover(s) art for this debut issue is awesome and truly does remind me of the classic She-Hulk I grew to love back in the late eighties. I’m actually quite surprised that Marvel Comics seemingly decided to go back to the “sexy, flirtatious” version of Jennifer Walters. Especially since more recently this version of the character was to an extent considered is somewhat offensive to many.

People claimed that she was only used as a sex symbol by male writers & never truly fleshed out as a character, something that I actually highly disagree with.

 Nonetheless I was excited to see exactly what they were going to bring to the table in 2022. Unfortunately my hopes for this debut issue were squashed pretty quickly by what I consider to be weak and somewhat uninspiring storytelling.

 Most of the issue revolves around a rather pointless fight with her classic nemesis Titania, that I assume they were trying Inject some sort of witty comedy into. The rest of the issue spends a few pages getting into Jennifer Walters more personal problems as she moves back into her former apartment. That’s really about it in a nutshell. I didn’t really find much of anything to be memorable here, the dialogue was pretty flimsy and the artwork at some points was impressive and at others felt a bit rushed. 

 I guess a part of me had built up this return to form as possibly being a consisely comedic version of the character and her absurdly over the top adventures of years ago. Instead what I ultimately ended up with was yet another safely generic Marvel Comics relaunch. I guess in a way it was kind of what I was expecting and it’s certainly not the spark that’s gonna get me going back to drop another $4 to $5 on a comic book that literally takes just over 5 minutes to read in it’s entirety. I’m somewhat astounded that as comic prices dramatically increased the panels grew exponentially in size and now only take a matter of minutes to read. I would have hoped that the opposite would have occurred,  If you’re gonna charge 5 bucks for a comic book you’d better be bringing more bang for your buck!

 I can’t say I’ll be going back for more She-Hulk anytime soon, yet it has inspired me to dig out my old late eighties back issues. Who knows maybe I’m being too damn hard on things and perhaps my memory of the “golden era” of She-Hulk is something that won’t hold up in 2022. If this is any indication though of what the live action MCU series is going to be like I guess I’m gonna be pretty disappointed. There’s so much fun to be had with She-Hulk, a more of a classic “Sex in the City” style approach to the series with some clever writing is what I was hoping more for. I’ll save my true anticipation for the series launch on Disney Plus this year with my fingers firmly crossed....

The Craziest Movie Subtitles of ALL Time!

So for New Years this year I rewatched 1999’s ‘The Last Ghost Standing’. A totally bonkers Hong-Kong horror movie that takes place on New Year’s Eve. If you ever get the chance to check it out I highly recommend it, especially if you like movies like Evil Dead 2, it will not disappoint! Once again I had to freeze frame it and officially document this bizarre subtitle!!  This easily makes the list of the craziest subtitles of all time..

The Craziest Movie Subtitles of ALL Time!

I’ve been watching a lot of Hong-Kong movies lately from the 80s and good lord let me tell you, there are some amazing unbelievable subtitles to behold! So every now and again I’ll pause the screen to take a snapshot to capture some of these in ALL their insane glory! These first two exhibits come from an amazing action movie from 1989 called ‘Pedicab Driver’ starring Sammo Hung! If you’re a fan of wild, over the fucking top martial arts then check this out ASAP and keep an eye open for these unforgettable words of wisdom within the text of their glorious subtitles!

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

WTF??????

WTF New Years Eve Hong Kong 90s Horror Gem: ‘Last Ghost Standing’!

Wild and weird New Years flicks are not easy to come by. But god damn do I have one of the most WTF movies taking place on New Years Eve you will ever see to recommend! ‘Last Ghost Standing’ from 1999 is essentially a night in the life of a young couple on a New Year’s Eve date to a creepy theater that’s showing it’s very final picture before closing forever…

 It doesn’t take long however for things to get downright dirty, spooky and simultaneously zany when evil forces from the netherworld descend from from the depths of hell to kill everyone who has purchased a ticket to the final show at the theater. Basically a mix of ‘Demons’ and ‘Evil Dead 2’ with even more senseless comedy and insane goopy antics. Yes, this one dials the idiotic insanity up to 11 with a barely cohesive story holding this creature together by the withering tendons. I’d make sure you’re a few drinks in or stoned outta your gord before checking this one out on New Year’s Eve. You’ve been warned!

It’s jam packed with awesome cheap-o B-movie fx & gross out moments a’ plenty.  Particularly a scene where a group of wild raver teens are attacked by a disgusting toilet poop monster in the restroom.  Barely any of this late nineties gem makes a lick of sense either, I think it’s all there just to give our eyes a visual feast  & at the same time make you lose a brain cell or two just from watching.

Things get so out of control in the theater that they eventually have to call in a mock Jackie Chan type character with a fake prosthetic nose to come and try to settle the supernatural score with the demons. The funny thing is it would appear that the demonic forces in this movie aren’t fully satisfied with the state of modern cinema at the time and are ready to rip it’s existence entirely from our world.  The essential reason for their attack on the patrons.

If you’re a horror fanatic and looking for something truly bizarre on New Year’s Eve today, this is definitely going to deliver the goods right to your damn doorstep. It’s silly, gross and a lot of frenetic fun & I can certainly guarantee you’ve never seen anything like it before! Happy 2022!!

Movie Review: The Gooey Gory Greedy Horror of ‘BLACK FRIDAY’!

A good Thanksgiving horror movie has always been quite hard to come by, sure there are few out there but aside of something like 1987’s ‘Blood Rage’ the pickens are slim. Well I decided to take a chance yesterday on a brand new one called ‘Black Friday’ and was quite surprised how much I enjoyed this comedically gory and ultra gooey little horror flick. To be honest I really wasn’t expecting a whole lot even though it co-stars Bruce Campbell as the manager of a lame ass modern toy mart on Thanksgiving evening. I wasn’t particularly 100% sold on the trailer but I really wanted to see something different this year that brought some possible holiday horror cheer.

I’d at first thought this might be just another trashy low level zombie movie but right from the get go it’s clear this one’s got something more sinister going on which was immediately a relief. We start off with the discovery of a strange small glowing pulsating blob like creature discovered inside of the store by a late night maintenance man. My assumption: it must be some sort of alien, whatever it is, I’m in!

We quickly turn to our rather diverse cast of characters (whom I think are all pretty interesting) as they ready themselves for Black Friday of course!  As the ravenous line of impatient shoppers grows outside of the toy mart we can see a few of them are definitely not looking too fucking healthy & the employees on the inside are gonna encounter something a lot more challenging than the average filthy greedy shoppers this year.

The plot here is about as simple as it gets, gang of ridiculous employees has to survive the night against a horde of monsters. But that’s not to say this movie doesn’t have a bit more going for it. I guess the best way to describe this one would be almost like if you took ‘The Breakfast Club’, mashed it up with ‘Evil Dead 2’ and set it inside a modern  department store. There’s a lot of great character development too that adds some sweet charm & heart to the experience as well as upping the stakes for survival. Plus like I said, we get the treat of Bruce Campbell arriving to add that extra bit of b-movie legitimacy to it all.

One of the best aspects here are the monsters and the slimey, gorey effects on display. From what I could tell, almost entirely done via practical effects. It’s also got a nice lean run time of around 80 minutes, with a brisk pace, plenty of action, funny characters, gore and some pretty well done comedy. Also it’s really anyone’s guess who’s gonna survive this thing.

Yet, that’s not to say this is a perfect film, the actual toy store that it takes place in is a pretty ugly generic looking set piece. Even less fun to look at than a freakin’ Walmart. A more interesting environment could have really added a lot, a uniquely spooky looking toy store to add that extra layer of creepiness to the atmosphere. And although some of the effects towards the final standoff were pretty cool in regards to the creature, the general execution of it all felt quite clunky and a bit lazy. It could have really wowed in those final moments but fell a bit short of the mark for what  had been executed quite well before, for me personally.  However these are small qualms in the larger scheme of a relatively high grade creature feature. For me my favorite genre of horror.

Doubling as a Thanksgiving horror movie as well as a Christmas one ‘Black Friday’definitely delivers on many of its promises and if you’re looking for something that might be a nice double feature with say ‘Gremlins’ or ‘Krampus’ then I think there’s a decent amount here to fully enjoy. Definitely check it out if you’re feeling frisky this holiday season for surprisingly fun holiday themed horror flick jam packed with monster mayhem..

Movie Review: GOTCHA! When those 80’s Paintball Skills Pay Off Yet AGAIN!

It’s funny how many movies in the 1980’s focus for some reason on the game of paintball for inspiration. I mean, I lived the 80’s and yes indeed paintballin’ was all the rage, so I guess it’s no wonder that movies like ‘The Zero Boys’, ‘Masterblaster’ & even the 1989 Mexican Gem ‘Trampa Infernal’ all begin with their main characters playing paintball & eventually using said paintball skills in a real life adventure.

For you young folks paintball is a game usually played out in the woods where two teams compete with each other with loaded guns filled with paint ball pellets. In the 80’s apparently it readied you for crazy real life adventure. This is of course just how 1985’s sweet sexy action comedy begins!


Yep, Anthony Edwards stars as a college freshman named Jonathon, a down on his luck virgin but luckily, you guessed it, an expert paintballer. He spends much of his time playing paintball on the college campus during the day while also asking out any beautiful babe who crosses his path. He soon convinces his parents to pay for a European vacation, in hopes he can finally lose his damn virginity overseas. So in Paris, he meets a slightly older, more experienced woman named Sasha Banicek (Linda Fiorentino), a sexy mysterious Czech who invites him to accompany her to West Berlin. of course Jonathon is totally enamored & will do just about anything for her affection. Sasha however, is secretly desperate to get a roll of film to the CIA & slips Jonathan the package without telling him what’s inside. Oblivious of what he’s carrying, Jonathan must elude the sinister Soviet forces trailing him at all costs & lucky for him he’s already a well versed expert in the paintball game of “Gotcha”!

Ok so this one’s pretty much exactly the kind of 80’s flick I’m down to watch any damn day of the week! It’s a cool little comedic thriller that really could have only existed in the 1980’s. It’s got some college humor that might not exactly fly today, but it’s also got some great characters at it’s core that make up for any of those shortcomings. There’s plenty of romance to go around as well, as our hero who’s a failed Romeo finally lives up to the challenge and adventure thrown his way for the woman who he claims he “loves” after knowing her for only a few days. Hey we’ve all been there at least one though right? There’s also some decent action scenes and the setting of Paris to Berlin only add to the mystique of the whole debacle. It’s a near perfect 80’s coming of age adventure that also manages to take some unique twists and turns along the way, that keep you guessing to the very end. If you’re feeling like taking a time machine to simpler, more charming times, I highly recommend Gotcha! Oh yeah it’s theme song is worth the price of admission alone, it’s so damn catchy it’ll swirl in your mind for days after, check this one out for some sweet retro vibes from my personal favorite era of cinema.

Hong Kong Horror Gems: 1985’s ‘Those Merry Souls’!

Here’s a sweet little Hong Kong horror/action/comedy hybrid from 1985 that really put a BIG smile on my face, ‘Those Merry Souls’. Yeah this all but forgotten flick has some serious star power, featuring the likes of martial arts legends like the charming Yuen Biao & the late horror icon “Mr. Vampire” himself Lam Ching Ying (RIP) together for one spooky comedic action packed romper. 

Now as you can see the poster here. makes it look maybe like a full on comedy, and in many ways ‘Those Merry Souls’ plays out like one. However it also has a serious supernatural aspect and threat that slowly rears it’s head to the final genuinely creepy action packed finale. This one tells the story of two stuntmen one a wildly talented martial artist and his bumbling whiny cousin who’s obsessed with a beautiful local club singer. Oh yeah and their uncle has recently developed a rare creepy ability to astral project and has been helping people who die find their way to the other side. He helps those merry souls but during his waking life doesn’t remember a lick of it ever happening.

The two bosom buddy stuntmen spend most of their time trying to ridiculously find romance and getting into trouble while doing so, one of the best scenes takes place on a beach where Yuen Biao shines showing his kick ass martial arts skills taking on a gang beach bullies in only his skimpy little swim suit. Biao really should have been an international star, he’s got the skills and a similar raw charisma of Jackie Chan. Things do get a bit dark and scary here though and what starts off like the perfect 80’s Hong Kong buddy comedy morphs into a pretty thrilling little supernatural tale.

This happens when their uncle, while in his astral form is instructed to take the soul of his own nephew when he’s injured doing a wild stunt on a movie set. At the moment of truth though he decides to let him live & spare his soul a mistake that costs him his own life and sets forth an evil entity upon them. In a way it’s a tiny bit Final Destination and when they employ the help of their other uncle, played by Lam Ching Ying, who’s of course got some secret magic skills of his own to ward off evil, things get really interesting.

The film’s finale is joyous as the whole gang along with their girlfriends all face off the evil entity along with their taoist priest uncle in an action packed final showdown. The stakes get high and the action is off the rails bonkers in true Hong Kong fashion as the entity possesses members of the group and soon things erupt into a crazy supernatural kung fu battle.

We even get to see Lam Ching Ying and Yuen Biao go at it full force, which is treat to behold. Bottom line here, ‘Those Merry Souls’ is a damn good time balancing out the comedy, kung fu & supernatural elements in all the right ways, something I’ve noticed many Hong Kong films of this era seem to fail at in my opinion more often than succeeding. If you’re looking to get in 80’s Hong Kong Horror I highly recommend ‘Those Merry Souls’ as the perfect party movie to share with a hungry gang of movie maniacs!

And for fans of Yuen and LamChing Ying check this out too..

U-Dork on the Movie Melt Podcast: Revisiting 2019’s Weird Ass ‘BUTT BOY’!

I never thought I’d go back and give 2019’s ‘Butt Boy’ a damn re-watch, butt here I am back on the damn ‘Movie Melt‘ podcast where I was invited to give my two cents worth on the weird ass movie I review right HERE! Yeah for some reason ‘Butt Boy’ was nominated to be the feature presentation on the podcast, probably because of it’s totally bizarre premise that really has to be seen to be believed.

That being said, this flick is most definitely not for everyone imo and I’ve stated here before I’m still not quite sure if I liked the damn thing myself. Even so I’ll state again if you don’t know what the hell I’m even talking about with this movie, that I suggest just going into it completely cold and letting things unfold. It’s an interesting experience to say the least. If you’re a fan of the movie we’ve got more info on the film and the director than anywhere else on the net. 

So check out the ‘Butt Boy’ or just listen to Movie Melt where we all discuss movies you should be checking out, do some wild cinematic trivia and of course talk about one of the most perplexing movies of the last decade, Butt Boy in all of it’s glory…