The legendary horror icon Elvira is back!! However, like many of us, she fears that Halloween might be canceled this year. To make sure that doesn’t happen she’s released a brand new single to try to bring some spooky joy to the holiday. Yes 2020 has been a truly strange year and with coronavirus still being a big problem on planet Earth, Halloween just may indeed end up getting canceled.
BUT Not if Elvira has anything to say about it dammit, and if anyone has the final word on the holiday it’s just got to be HER. I’ve been preparing myself to revisit her classic 1988 comedy ‘Elvira: Mistress of the Dark’ this Halloween and one baffling thing I’ve noticed is something truly bizarre, now at 69 years of age she literally has not aged a day!! Perhaps she really is an immortal undead queen?! Still simply stunning in every way-here’s one thing that doesn’t suck about 2020!
This Halloween I’m gonna make a few obscure retro foreign horror movie recommendations that you may have missed out on from that oh so sweet era of the genre: the 1980’s! I just checked out a rad little Hong Kong Horror movie from 1987 called ‘Vampire’s Breakfast’!!
This forgotten little horror gem is a load of fun with a heapin’ dose of spooky settings, comedy, romance and action in the way that only Hong Kong cinema delivered back in the day. I really enjoyed how for the most part this one plays the horror pretty straight, keeping the all too usual Hong Kong “slapstick potty humor” out of the equation entirely. For me some of the 80’s Hong Kong stuff can be completely ruined by crappy potty humor and comedy that just plain hasn’t aged well (and keep in mind I’m not normally easily offended either). Nope, here we have a cool cast of characters and genuinely nasty “American/European” style vamp on the loose rather than the traditional Chinese hopping kind. We’ve got some funky footage of Hong Kong in the 80’s here and totally sweet fashion of the era in full swing.
The iconic Kent Cheng stars as a newspaper reporter who’s hot on the trail of a serial killer and after poking around a police crime scene begins to suspect that the killer might actually be a living breathing vampire. No one takes him seriously except a boozed up car stereo thief, who he reluctantly teams up with to track down the suspected bloodsucker. Along the way though he interviews one of the killer’s victims who barely escaped with her life, the oh soooo cute Emily Chu looking as stylee as ever.
Of course it’s love at first sight and we’re then treated to a full on 80’s style Hong Kong “John Hughs” cheezy romance, which is a total charm amidst the horror. The thing I really dig about this is movie, are the horror elements, unafraid to get nasty when it needs to as well as some action sequences that can be pretty exciting as well. No kung fu here though, which is kind of nice actually as it plants this one in a more believable horror setting, but that’s not to say the portly Kent Cheng can’t deliver the kicks, check out 1989’s ‘Vampire Buster’ to see his skills.
There’s a lot to love here if you’re looking for something different this Halloween, the vampire here is plenty fierce as well. He’s got a pretty sinister look and raises plenty of Hell on the foggy streets of Hong Kong. There’s also some unexpected moments of gore as well that ramp things up nicely in the finale. I’d say this one definitely deserves more love and most definitely a cleaned up blu ray release with more fleshed out subtitles. A colorful, creepy tale full of endearing characters and a brisk pace make this one standout viewing this Halloween for those who love uncovering hidden gems from horror’s sweet spot era of the 1980’s.
Ok so WTF did I just watch? Well ‘Butt Boy’ is a 2020 horror/thriller/mystery with a truly bizarre plot. It’s a genre melder that’s 110% absurd yet played straight & somehow for the most part actually kinda works. Now that’s not to say I really give this one my stamp of approval, but at the same time I’m not going to NOT recommend it either. I’d say the less you know about the plot the better, as going in completely blind for me at least felt like the best way to view this thing.
I guess if I had to describe it briefly I’d say it’s basic story might have been concocted during a heavy drinking session by a couple adults with a severe case of juvenile humor. Then the next morning they decided to pitch the idea to someone who’s a big fan of ‘Stranger Things’ looking to produce a serious gritty supernatural thriller. I don’t know why someone would spend serious time and money on a movie with a plot this damn ridiculous but hey it’s 2020 and yes anything at this point seems possible. I suppose the allure here is just that, a film with a premise so absurd that’s for the most part pretty well acted, atmospheric, mysterious and taken quite seriously most of the time. If you wanna check this out blindly, STOP reading here! I won’t spoil the whole thing but I will mention the plot synopsis and a few details I took away from my viewing.
Detective Fox, a ruff and tumble guy loves his work and also is a bonafide alcoholic. After finally deciding to check himself into AA, he meets mild mannered Chip, who becomes his sponsor. However there’s been someone out there on a child abduction spree and Detective Fox begins to suspect Chip could somehow be responsible. More so he begin’s to think Chip has something sinister helping him cover his tracks and his suspicions lead him down a dark hole of terror no one could ever imagine or believe possible.
So that’s it in a nutshell, the flick from the get go starts off pretty odd and will likely leave you doing some serious head scratching as things quickly unfold. And yeah soon you’ll probably begin to think of the stupid ways this film could all go and likely you’re dumbest scenario will probably be correct! That all being said ‘Butt Boy’ somehow manages to be pretty entertaining and even somewhat…engaging? Forget the absurd plot, the real interesting thing here is the execution of of the whole damn thing. Sure there’s humor, but there’s also a degree of tension that at times actually make this feel like a pretty decent thriller. The supernatural aspect of it all never gets any explanation and at times it make it feel a bit like some dumb dream you might have had as a teenager. ‘Butt Boy’ is worth a viewing if you’re up for something different and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen before, does that make this one good? I honestly don’t know still what to make of it all, butt I guess I’m going to have to keep pondering it for maybe I’ve just somehow missed some powerful deeper meaning……
Ok it’s really no secret that the Presidential debates the other night was a complete and total shit show! I’d go as far to say that it may have been the worst “debate” I’ve ever seen. Anyway apparently I’m not the only person who thought that, in this crazy election year we’ve got the legendary crazy nerd pop star Weird Al Yankovic weighing in with another bonafide cult hit! Check this out as Al gives you his thoughts on these two candidates!!
Warning do NOT watch ‘Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure’ or ‘Bogus Journey’ before viewing ‘Bill & Ted Face the Music’!! I made the mistake of watching them both in a span of a less than a week and witnessing the comedic genius of these retro gems before viewing the latest installment. Both the previous films have just aged so damn well, I was laughing out loud as it’d been so long since I revisited them and they truly hold up. This along with the hype from critics boldly claiming it was just as good as the first two had me excellently PUMPED for the long awaited sequel! Well, I’m sad to say I was most supremely let down by ‘Bill & Ted Face the Music’.
So that’s not to say you shouldn’t check it out, if you’re a fan it’s your obligation dude to see what became of the legendary duo. What I’ll tell you is, the legendary duo isn’t very excellent these days. The two are down on their luck, apparently still trying to write the song that unites the human race. They have their two daughters, who are basically younger versions of them and their struggling with their marriages to the Princesses. Enter two more “excellent adventures” to steal the hit song from their future selves and their daughters to round up legendary musicians to be their back up band ala the first film.
Sounds like a blast huh? Not so fast! It’s not exactly that simple to be truly excellent in 2020 dude! Alex Winter was pretty on point as Bill to be fair, and carries the whole movie almost entirely on his shoulders. The strangest, most perplexing thing about this damn movie is Keanu Reeves as Ted. It feels like he’s trying to do a bad, unpracticed impression of the iconic character, his delivery is flat, uninspiring and just plain not convincing. This is highly problematic for a Bill & Ted flick! I’m certain Keanu was excited to revisit the role and with the original writers on board along with the director of ‘Galaxy Quest’ this should have been an easy slam dunk! I guess Keanu just couldn’t channel the magic, in fact his daughter in the movie is more convincing as Ted than he is.
I also noticed how silent my viewing was in terms of laughs, I chuckled a few times and my friend barely made a damn sound, as we both laughed our way recently through the first two. There were also too many subplots and a flimsy script left for a pretty disjointed rushed adventure. William Sadler however returning as ‘Death’ was the film’s highlight IMO and probably the funniest part of the whole movie. I think Bill & Ted really needed to ham this thing way up, I was certain seeing the older versions of them being as ridiculous as the first two movies would be a real treat of comedic gold. Instead this one felt like some sort of depressing Bill & Ted “drama” that worked hard to undo the major plot points of the first two films. I guess lightning rarely strikes the same place three times. That all being said I’m happy they did it, or at least tried because they certainly didn’t need to but clearly wanted to give it one more spin. I’m still a bit bummed the day after seeing it that my old pals Bill & Ted aren’t quite the same guys I knew and loved, but at least the film tried it’s best to be optimistic in these strange, troubling & uncertain times….
It’s an election year and things are sorta’ heating up here now that we have come down to just TWO candidates for the 2020 race. However it’s clear that once again we have two questionable people to choose from, the ridiculously terrible and uninspiring Republican President Donald Trump and now also the ridiculously terrible and uninspiring Democrat former Vice President Joe Biden!! Yes folks AND both of these guys have also been accused of being sexual Predators too! At this point it almost feels like a requirement here in the USA to be some sort of creep to run for public office, but hey that’s what we’re dealing with here in the good ol’ USA in the midst of the #metoo movement, go figure huh?
Well I posted a few weeks back, that former pro wrestling legend, mayor, governor, navy seal, 80’s action star Jesse Ventura was mulling the idea of jumping into the race with the Green Party for a Presidential run. Unfortunately it quickly was revealed that he’d decided against doing it. He’d have been a great addition to the race to get a second shot at defeating a Predator again or in this case two potential Predators! In the past couple days though I’ve seen the talk of his presidential run start coming back into the 2020 narrative yet again.
It seems his wife at the moment has potentially serious medical problems and they’re waiting for test results to see if she’ll be ok. The word is that if she ends up alright Jesse Ventura may still jump into the 2020 race. Anyway there’s a movement that just started called #draftjesse and there’s also a website: peopleforjesse.com where you can send him a message if you wanna see him run in 2020! Also a very strange tidbit of bizarre foreshadowing, as we know Matt Groening’s ‘The Simpsons’ & ‘Futurama’ have both oddly predicted things that in the future indeed came true- so check this out, as we see in an episode of Futurama, a President Jesse Ventura head in a jar in the background with other former Presidents! Seriously weird, maybe Matt Groening who’s been called a possible real life “time traveler” knows something we all don’t…..YET. Check it out.
In the meantime check out this video on why the Democrats and Republicans should fear him if he gets in the race! One thing is definitely certain at this point we deserve more options in 2020!!!
I’ve been looking around for interesting movies during the lockdown and this one definitely looks like it’s got potential if you’re into crazy gooey practical fx and supernatural slashers. ‘Skull: The Mask’ comes from Brazil and the trailer looks pretty damn promising!
We follow the story of an ancient relic in the from of a creepy ass mask that turns it’s wearer into a rampaging maniac that looks like he just had a successful audition for GWAR!
“In the year 1944, an artifact is used in a military experiment. The artifact is the Mask of Anhangá, the executioner of Tahawantinsupay, a Pre-Columbian God. The experience fails. Nowadays, the Mask arrives at Sao Paulo. The Mask possesses a body and starts to commit visceral sacrifices on vengeance for the incarnation of its God, initiating a blood bath. The policewoman Beatriz Obdias is in charge of the crimes, challenging her beliefs”
Check this one out Horror hounds it looks like a ton of fun!
I just checked out VFW, the latest from director Joe Begos (Almost Human, The Mind’s Eye) who returns with, in my opinion his best film yet! This sweet little gritty love letter to John Carpenter, which calls back to his classic ‘Assault on Precinct 13’ in big way, is also a blood soaked love letter to some older actors/action stars of yesteryear. We’ve got icons Fred Williamson, William Sadler, Stephen Lang, Martin Kove & even George Wendt from ‘Cheers’ to make this bar room brawl even more authentic!
The story kicks off on a special birthday night for VFW bar owner “Fred” and his tight knit gang of bad ass war veterans. The evening quickly turns into wild all-out battle for their lives when a teen punk rock girl crashes their party with a sack full of ‘hype’. This new drug basically turns people into demented maniacs, with a hunger for more hype at any cost. The evil punk drug dealer, desperate to get his valuable stash back, sends his gang of gnarly addicts on a rampage to get it back. When these mutant punks on a rampage storm the bar looking for the teen, the old vets along with a younger soldier get to relive the gory glory years of war one more time. They unleash their pent of rage and fury using every weapon they can get their hands on to protect the girl and try annihilate the horde of drug addled maniacs. However these messed up punks have hype running through their veins and want more, risking anything to their grimy paws on it.
If you’re a fan of old school action flicks from the 70’s & 80’s you’re going to really get a kick out of VFW. The gore is pretty over the top, done in a such a cartoony way that people literally explode on screen. As a fan of practical fx Begos always delivers the goods with some wild splatter, he also keeps the vibe placed firmly in the golden days of the action era, with not a cell phone in sight. It also feels like an 80’s flick, with stunning neon lit sets within the walls of the cool old dank dive bar.
The real highlight of this is the cast of old codgers who do the majority of the ass kickin’. It’s absolutely delightful to see the likes of Fred Williamson & The Karate Kid’s Martin “Sensei” Kove in full on action mode as well as Stephen Lang, William Sadler and the younger soldier played by Tom Williamson. They’re all great here and give this film the cred it deserves proving age is just a number when it comes to cinematic butt kicking. I really enjoyed VFW, it’s the perfect modern midnite movie and gets so much praise for bringing in some old icons into the mix of onscreen mayhem. Check this out if you’re a fan of 70’s/80’s cult action horror flicks- And here’s to hoping VFW gets a sequel bringing even more of the bar’s patrons into the fold, hand picking some more old nearly forgotten bad asses to do some damage one last time!
Well it seems this last week brought some new speculation for the 2020 Presidential race! Yes folks, Jesse “The Body” Ventura announced that he’s “testing the waters” with the Green Party for a possible run for President this year. Sounds exciting huh? Well to be fair this is probably the closest the former wrestler/Governor/mayor/Navy Seal/action star has ever come to actually committing to doing it. Over the years he’s teased the idea over and over saying he’ll “maybe” do it. Of course he’s back again saying “maybe”, which seems almost like it’s his campaign slogan at this point?!
Anyway if he does do it, it’d surely be quite a spectacle to behold and he really might shake things up a bit, who knows maybe he could even win? No matter where you stand politically I think we can all agree we need more choices in our elections, as Jesse says “in the USA we have one more choice than a dictatorship” regarding the two party system. For the moment I’m intrigued and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to share this amazing video put out around the time of the 2016 election. James Adomian is a master impersonator, know mostly for his impression of Bernie Sanders. Here he captures the spirit of Jesse once again saying a strong hard “MAYBE” for 2020!!!
I headed out to the local video store the other night (yeah in Portland we still got an amazing one called Movie Madness) to rent some movies, just like we used to do back in the good ol’ days. Let’s face it folks, sometimes it’s nice to take a break from the bland streaming services like Netflix and physically roam around a video store in hopes of stumbling across something entertaining. I decided this time I’d check out some new stuff I haven’t seen streaming out there.
First up was ‘Gags The Clown’ a movie I’d wanted to check out for quite some time now, being a Wisconsin native for much of my life & knowing this horror flick takes place in Green Bay (a place I’d personally hung out so many times in my teens & twenties) made this a no brainer rental. The cover art alone is pretty awesome and would look lovely gracing an old VHS.
Anyway I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not a giant fan of “found footage” horror movies and it’s been pretty played out these days in my opinion at least. But in this case I was lured in mainly because I’m just downright intrigued by movies made in ‘The Dairy state’. So the idea of ‘Gags’ was inspired by the whole creepy clown roaming the streets in real life viral video phenomenon a few years or so back. The interesting thing here is that creator of ‘Gags’ actually took advantage of this using his character to supposedly fool local Green Bay residents and the local news to report on it, eventually gathering up some worldwide interest in the creepy clown. A pretty brilliant marketing move to say the least. Continue reading