Ok everyone, let’s finally address the giant elephant in the room, over the years, particularly in the 80’s and 90’s, I’ve noticed something quite curious in the movies I’ve been watching: the appearance of THIS particular green lamp in nearly every Hollywood production. You think I’m kidding? Well from this point on I’m asking you all to keep your eyes peeled for it’s appearance in the movies you watch! You will be astonished how often this thing appears, so much so it’s starting to get a little creepy, once you see it you can’t ignore how often it appears like magic.
So I had to take a short moment here to address just what the hell is up with this odd green lamp? Why is it seemingly everywhere? Just WHAT is this green lamp conspiracy all about? Well let’s take a closer look here, this thing is officially known as “The Banker’s Lamp”. It’s thought to have a psychologically soothing and calming effect on the mind and supposedly increases concentration and brain focus. This lamp also known as Emeralite, is one of the most iconic lamp designs in the entire world. Used initially libraries, banks and business offices to improve work and brain power. It was given the green shade due to the old belief that a green light source was soothing to the mind and therefore improved productivity. So is this the secret power of actors and directors to maximize their brain focus to make the ultimate movie making profits?
When we dig deeper into this lamp’s history we discover that there’ve been conspiracy theories about this mysterious lamp for many decades in Hollywood. Some think that perhaps the ones used in Hollywood productions used ancient magic emeralds that not only enhanced the cast, crew and directors brain power & focus abilities but also mystified audience’s brainwaves through actual theater screens when the lamps appear. There’s also rumors of the lamp being powered exclusively by odd generators on set, ones that only seem to power the banker’s lamp. Some reported that the emerald green shades used on these productions were imported from remote locations on the globe, one report suggested places not located on any known maps. Other reports suggested the actual bulbs being used had been shipped from NASA to production lots in Hollywood.
The most strange report was that every green “banker’s lamp” seen on the silver screen is indeed in actuality the SAME lamp. Meaning this one lamp you see in all of these Hollywood productions is the exact same fixture used for over a century, that’s being passed around in a fortified protective titanium case and it for some reason renowned among Hollywood elites as priceless. Often times green prop lamps would be set around the original. Likely all far fetched rumors? Who knows…but whatever the case, please take note of all of this next time you see it pass in and out of frame in a movie, you’ll notice it sneak by in the background and never be able to un-see the emerald green shine…here it appears in Se7en, and so many more than this..
Here’s a very shortlist of just a few of the movies it appears in if you keep your eyes on the prize, but soon you’ll find it’s nearly everywhere on the big screen:
- The silence of the lambs (1991)
- Frasier (TV, 1993-2004)
- Patch adams (1998)
- Whiplash (2014)
- Wonder woman (2017)
- Oldboy (2003)
- Seven (1995)
- A nightmare on Elm street (1984)
- Batman begins (2005)
- Hot fuzz (2007)
- James bond: Casino royale (2006) & quantum of solace (2008)
- Goonies (1985)
- The place beyond the pines (2012)
- Jaws (1975)
- Legally blonde (2001)
- 10 things i hate about you (1999)
- The conjuring (2013)
- Band of Brothers (TV mini series, 2001)
- The bourne identity (2002)
- Bronson (2008)
- The adventures of Tintin (2011)
- Sinister (2012)
- The knick (TV, 2014-2015)
- Road to perdition (2002)
- Layer cake (2004)
- There will be blood (2007)
- 30 Rock (TV, 2006-2013)
- Breaking bad (TV, 2008-2013)
- Law abiding citizen (2009)
- Boiler room (2000)
- Seinfeld (TV, 1989-1998)
- Pushing daisies (TV, 2007-2009)
- White collar (TV, 2009-2014)
- Brooklyn nine-nine (TV, 2013-)
- Supernatural (TV, 2005-)
- Dr. Who (TV, 2005-)
- Friends (TV, 1994-2004)
- JFK (1991)
- Network (1976)
- House MD (TV, 2004-2012)
- Boardwalk empire (TV, 2010-2014)
- State of play (2009)
- Arrested development (TV, 2003-)
- Sleepy hollow (TV, 2013-2017)
- Twin peaks (TV, 1990-1991)
- Sherlock (TV, 2010-)
- Stand by me (1986)
- Back to school (1986)
- Ellery Queen (TV, 1975-1976)
- Poirot (TV, 1989-2013)
- Broadcast News (1987)
- Dick Tracy (1990)
- The Thomas Crown Affair (1968)
- Trading places (1983)
- Clue (1985)
- Star Trek: First contact (1996)
- It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (TV, 2005-Present)
- Narcos (TV, 2015-2017)
- Gosnell (2018)
- Star chamber (1983)
- Death of a nation (2018)
- Friday the 13th: the final chapter (1984)
- Goodfellas (1990)
- Gilmore girls (TV, 2000-2007)
- The verdict (1982)
- The firm (1993)
- 3 Men and a baby (1987)
Saturday night I had the pleasure of watching NUKIE a little known shiny turd of a film from 1988! It was jam packed with crap! It followed the story of an annoying pair of aliens who crash land on earth, one in Africa and one in America. It’s supposed to be like some sort of hybrid of E.T. and Close Encounters except just really ultra suck-tas-tic in about every way imaginable!
This movie tries pretty hard to be cutesy and have a lot to say but in reality it’s just an excuse to use and animatronic alien head for two hours! Yeah that’s pretty much all this one has got ‘going’ for it and once the semi decent Nukie puppet alien face charm wears off you’ll be wondering how the hell this pile of dung ever got funded! This movie is full of weird stereotypes as well.
Nukie our main alien character runs around the African fields with his runny nose and befriends a pair of local tribal boys. There he does weird dances for them, asks random giraffes if he’s in America, irritates locals, transforms into blue glowing orbs and hijacks a helicopter with a monkey in a diaper. Yes this movie also features a weird ass super fucking annoying talking chimp who of course wears human clothes.
When he first appeared on screen and started mouthing off his incredibly irritating dialogue I had to restrain myself from getting off the couch and throwing my friend’s television out the damn second story window! From what my Nukie-fried brain can remember there wasn’t a single reason why this chimp could or should have the ability to speak english. Perhaps just being in the presence of Nukie gave him the superhuman ability to become one of the most annoying talking animals I have ever seen on screen. Later that night I had repeated dreams about washing that chimps mouth out with a bar of poison soap! Yep he makes the movie worthwhile alone!
That’s not all though, Nukie’s twin buddy Niko hangs out at this super boring NASA base, and every time they cut to the NASA scenes the movie suddenly sounds like the opening narration to an episiode of Dragnet! Yeah and boy do they love to show the same view of the NASA building over and over and over. There though Nukie’s buddy is experimented on by super lame scientists that hang out around a super computer that essentially does nothing but spit out useless information and weird ass dance music.
The rest of the movie is kind of a blur, but Nukie and Niko finally meet up and escape and guess what? They actually take the talking chimp along with them! I mean these two aliens have got to be suffering from severe nuclear brain damage to do a thing like that? If only we could get a sequel that followed these three idiots around for another 2 hours! Beware of this films it sucks bad and MUST be watched!!!