This was the second year that I celebrated Christmas with a  “Christmas Horror” night. Yeah I know what you’re thinking, maybe we could have watched Scrooged, Black Christmas, Silent Night Deadly Night or even Gremlins right? WRONG! I wanted something special this year and what’s more amazing than watching a chain smoking “Grizzly Adams” battle evil nazi Elves on christmas eve?!! Yeah this little jem of a movie from 1988 is simply titled “Elves” and it delivered the goods!

The premise is simple, a teenage girl figures out that she is the spawn of  a sinister Nazi experiment which involves human breeding with demonic elves attempting to create a race of superhumans. Her and two of her super skanky friends decide to spend the night in a department store hoping to get laid by a group of teenage douche bags in the sporting goods section.

But instead they discover they are trapped inside with a crazy horny elf and a group of neo Nazi’s hellbent on getting this little horndog laid on Christmas eve to officially start the master race.  Their only hope is Dan Hagerty(hell yeah- TV’s Grizzly Adams!) who plays a down on his luck, chain smokin’,  homeless,  recovering  alcoholic,  ex-con,  ex-cop who is currently trying to hold down a job as the department store’s Santa Claus. Really now does it get any better than that? Continue reading →