Tagged: elves

Santa’s Naughty List: 2018 Christmas Horror Flicks!

Well it’s that time of the year yet again and boy does time sure fly huh?! Yep another damn Christmas is comin’ and of course it’s the prime time to watch a plethora of holiday movies. One genre the “Christmas themed” horror movie, is easily one of my favorites. I’ve gotta say though it’s been a few years since I’ve actually seen anything that truly knocked my socks off ho-ho-holiday horror-wise that is.

2015 brought one of my favorites of all time, “Krampus”, which I’m sure to watch again this year and then just five years earlier another true classic “Rare Exports” dropped. So now it’s nearing the end of 2018, let’s take a quick look at what’s stirring about this year and see if there are any possible gems to watch between now and Christmas time!!

 

All The Creatures Were Stirring

So I watched this one last night, hoping it was going to become another holiday horror classic, sadly this just wasn’t the case. This Christmas anthology has it’s few moments but overall it’s a largely forgettable yuletide dud. It features six short Christmas themed segments, the best being one called “Dash and Away” which is kinda like a holiday themed short with a sort of Tales From The Crypt “Demon Knight” type of thingy going on. The rest features a lackluster take on a modern day Scrooge, a secret Santa office party going for a Saw type vibe, some pissed off killer reindeer which should have been awesome and the plot of others I’ve already forgotten. Also no sight of snow anywhere within these unspooky tales. If you’re really desperate this isn’t the worst thing you could watch but it’s surely no “Gremlins”. If you’re looking for a Christmas anthology check out ‘A Christmas Horror Story’ from 2015, that ones a much more ambitiously bonkers Holiday horror flick.

 

Anna and The Apocalypse

Here’s one lots of people are kinda ranting about lately, it’s a Christmas Zombie musical. I’m planning on checking this one out, but honestly I’m not a big fan of musicals and I’ve been steering clear of zombie movies for a while now as the whole craze at this point is just too played out for me these days. But hey I’m gonna give it a try soon regardless, why not?! here’s the synopsis: “A zombie apocalypse threatens the sleepy little town of Little Haven – at Christmas – forcing Anna and her friends to fight, slash and sing their way to survival, facing the undead in a desperate race to reach their loved ones. But they soon discover that no one is safe in this new world, and with civilization falling apart around them, the only people they can truly rely on are each other.”

 

Mrs. Claus

Yeah well here’s another one that in theory sounds like it might be a pretty sweet holiday horror, but then you watch the trailer and, well….I’ll probably pass. It looks like someone with a low budget was giving it an honest shot but the trailer does little to inspire me to seek this one out for a watch. Here’s the synopsis tho in case you’re feelin’ it with this one: “A group of college students attending a Christmas party at a sorority house that has a sinister past are all stalked by a bloodthirsty killer disguised as Mrs. Claus.’

 

Elves

Nope this isn’t a re-release of the 1989 classic schlock horror movie starring Dan Haggerty. This appears to be some sort of sequel to a movie called “Elf” not the awesome Will Ferrell one either, but another supremely lackluster one from maybe a year ago. Here’s the synopsis: “When a group of friends discover ancient elves locked in a cursed chest, they unknowingly unleash their wrath on the world.” Again, no snow in sight! If you’re going to make a crappy X-mas movie at least get some damn snow! Instead I recommend the Dan Haggerty flick of the same name-that one is awesomely idiotic!

 

Christmas Blood

Here’s yet another “killer in Santa costume” horror flick, this time all the way from Norway. To tell you the truth I’m pretty burned out on the whole “killer santa” thing, there’s great movies out there that were made in the 1980’s that do it best. But if you just can’t seem to get enuff of the genre then maybe Christmas Blood will be a must see for you! Here’s the synopsis: ” A murderer gets caught after terrorizing and killing people during Christmas night for past 13 years in Norway. After being in solitary for almost 6 years, psychopath escapes couple days before Christmas night. Police tracks next target of the psychopath to be in small village in the northernmost part of Norway. Group of friends are having reunion in the same village and unexpectedly end up being in part of Santa’s plan.” Hey at least this one takes place somewhere with snow! That being said if you’re looking for in my opinion the BEST killer Santa movie you must track down “Deadly Games” aka “Dial Code Santa” from 1989. It’s a rare french horror film that’s finally getting some attention here in the states this year, a mix of Rambo, Silent Night Deadly Night & Home alone! 

 

Pooka

I’m actually kinda excited to check out Pooka which is part of Hulu’s anthology series “Into the Dark”, It’s been referred to as Twilight Zone-ish type of horror outing and the whole concept sounds pretty interesting, I’m gonna check this one out for sure this Christmas, here’s the sysnopsis: “A struggling actor gets a holiday season job as a Christmas character in a plush suit to promote the hottest toy of the year, Pooka; he slowly develops two personalities – one when he’s in the suit and one that’s outside it.” It’s concept certainly beats another new “killer in a Santa costume” flick.

So that seems about it this year, are there any missing that I need to see or mention? Let me know! 

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Wilderness Movie Terror Takes a New Direction With Paul Bunyon!?

Step aside Bigfoot you ain’t the only one in the forest with huge feet anymore! You heard that right, Paul Bunyon has gone evil in the new flick “Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyon”! As bad as this one looks I’m gonna go ahead and say it’s looking more and more like my kind of flick! This ridiculous plot of an evil Paul Bunyon attacking people on a rehabilitation trip in the wilderness sounds like a heck of a lot of  fun. From the trailer it Bunyon looks pretty cool too, with a quick shot of Babe the Blue Ox too it seems the giant is on a rampage of revenge!

axe giant

Maybe what intrigues me most is the fact that Dan “Grizzly Adams” Haggerty is also starring in this one and nobody knows the wood like ol’ Grizzly! Let’s hope he’s got more than a little cameo, I really enjoyed his performance from the late 1980’s schlock Christmas horror flick Elves and hope we get to see him go one on one against Bunyon. A guy can dream at least right?

haggerty

Anyway check this out if you’re a fan of American folklore icons gone wrong! DVD/VOD on June 18th!

Holiday Horror is Back!!

I was deloighted to see the trailer and some clips today from an upcoming Holiday Horror movie entitled “Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale”. I have gotta say watching Christmas horror films are truely an amazing way to warm up to the holidays with your friends and some good christmas season ale. So it’s always a pleasure to welcome a new holiday horror movie into the Christmas season and this one looks like truely amazing stocking stuffer! Set to be released on Decemeber 3rd this movie’s got quite an awesome premise and just by the preview alone you can tell it’s gonna be ALOT of fun.

This Finnish movie, directed by Jalmari Helander is destined to be a holiday cult classic-check out the official synopsis: Continue reading

Grizzly Adams vs. The Christmas Nazi Elves!!

This was the second year that I celebrated Christmas with a  “Christmas Horror” night. Yeah I know what you’re thinking, maybe we could have watched Scrooged, Black Christmas, Silent Night Deadly Night or even Gremlins right? WRONG! I wanted something special this year and what’s more amazing than watching a chain smoking “Grizzly Adams” battle evil nazi Elves on christmas eve?!! Yeah this little jem of a movie from 1988 is simply titled “Elves” and it delivered the goods!

The premise is simple, a teenage girl figures out that she is the spawn of  a sinister Nazi experiment which involves human breeding with demonic elves attempting to create a race of superhumans. Her and two of her super skanky friends decide to spend the night in a department store hoping to get laid by a group of teenage douche bags in the sporting goods section.

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But instead they discover they are trapped inside with a crazy horny elf and a group of neo Nazi’s hellbent on getting this little horndog laid on Christmas eve to officially start the master race.  Their only hope is Dan Hagerty(hell yeah- TV’s Grizzly Adams!) who plays a down on his luck, chain smokin’,  homeless,  recovering  alcoholic,  ex-con,  ex-cop who is currently trying to hold down a job as the department store’s Santa Claus. Really now does it get any better than that? Continue reading