Tagged: Reborn

Movie Review: A Seriously Pissed off Bigfoot with a High IQ in ‘Primal Rage’!

I’m always totally down to see a killer new Sasquatch flick, the trouble is there’s been a LOT of pretty crappy ones made over the years with maybe just a few exceptions like Eduardo Sanchez’s ‘Exists’, ‘Abominable’ from 2006 and of course the classic ‘Harry and The Hendersons’. For some reason people have a tuff time bringing a believable Bigfoot to the big screen. Go figure. That leaves me believe people seem to think all they need is a tall dude to don an ape suit and they’ve got a worthy horror on their hands. The best ones though always put most of their money into their ‘Squatch creature fx and bring something truly believable to screen. Let’s face it, so many out there are faking Bigfoot videos on Youtube with rubber ape suits, believing what you’re seeing on screen is real is the first point of brilliance in a movie like this. Luckily “Primal Rage” is directed by fx wizard Patrick Magee (Jurassic Park 3/Progeny/AVP) and he put some serious effort into the crazed creature’s appearance in this movie. The best thing about this one is clearly the beast and that’s a damn good thing in this case.

Primal Rage’s actors aren’t trying to (or maybe even able to) win awards here and it’s got more in common at it’s core with a 70’s or 80’s killer creature flick than it does with something like Jurassic Park. The script is here might be a bit on the flimsy side but that makes way for tons of crazy Bigfoot action to go down. The premise is simple, an ex-con is just released from prison and picked up there by his girlfriend, as they drive through the mountains of Pacific Northwest (en route back home) they get side tracked when a mangled man stumbles into the road and is hit by their car. When they get out to investigate they almost immediately come under attack from large rocks being hurled at them, ex-con guy gets knocked off a cliff into a river and his lover jumps down to save him from drowning. This begins a fight for their lives in the woods are they’re pursued by “Oh-Mah” a pissed off native american mythical cryptid, AKA Sasquatch.

The interesting thing here is that “Oh-Mah” is actually an intelligent, brutal hunter who wears a bark mask and uses a bevy of handcrafted weapons to attack his prey. He also fucks shit up with his bare hands any chance he gets. He’s brutal as hell in this one, firing arrows and ripping people to shreds who’re dumb enough to hanging around in his stompin’ grounds. Bigfoot’s a calculated cold blooded killer here and there’s plenty of people for him to rip into, especially as there’s conveniently a gang of backwoods weirdos ala Deliverance who’re in desperate need of an ass-kickin shooting the shit in the vicinity. Bigfoot pulls no punches either, Magee pulls out some crazy ass sequences of practical gore a’plenty and his Bigfoot, “Oh-Mah” looks fantastic. He’s huge and it’s clear they put plenty of work into his animatronic face to make him a convincing and memorable movie monster.

There’s also a sweet supernatural sub-plot going on with the local Native American sheriff who’s out for Oh-Mah’s hide (this dude should have been the main character) and a crazy wood witch who looks like she stepped right out of Ridley Scott’s “Legend”. Magee does a fine job here creating a ton of cool action sequences and an explosive ‘final boss’ battle. Bigfoot does have a questionable scene where he forces himself upon a female captive that I could have done without, but luckily it’s a brief, more implied scene. Otherwise this one’s a ton of gory fun that’s not to be taken too seriously. It’s a good mix of Predator, Pumpkinhead & Deliverance with some ‘Squatch making it it one of the best of it’s genre. A must see addition to Bigfoot’s horror legacy!

 

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Jeph Loeb’s Wolverine: Makin’ Shit Up As He Goes!

Is it just me or does it kinda seem like Jeph Loeb’s kinda making shit up as he goes on the current Wolverine storyline? After reading issue number 312 I am almost certain of it! I have a theory on how he wrote this stuff and I think it took him about a total of five minutes, which I will explain, so read on!

Now first let me quickly clarify that I kinda enjoyed his absurd “Death of Sabretooth” story arc that he had crafted years ago. I’ve gotta say it, I think Loeb is a hack storyteller. He’s somehow become extremely popular while single handedly changed Logan’s entire history by introducing Romulus, who’s supposed to be his “ultimate” nemesis. Somehow though I just can’t take Romulus seriously, every time he makes an appearance I kinda wanna just burst out into laughter! It’s odd too because I actually am kind of intrigued with the character primarily because of how stupid he is.

Now we have another red head in Wolvie’s life, Remus, Romulus’ twin sister. She happens to have a big crush on Logan and wants him to kill her brother. Uggh…this is truly Loeb working his “storytelling magic” again.

It been seeming to me that Loeb probably is making this shit up as he goes folks. He’s like “Let’s kill off Sabretooth! It will be super bad ass, we’ll have this bad ass sword that Wolvie needs to kill him, then we’ll have this guy Romulus who doesn’t have anything better to do with his time except orchestrate all the events of Wolverine’s life, I mean it too, he has been like secretly involved for like…ever! Yeah, yeah then we’ll have this feral mutant race, evolved from wolves, yeah, Wolverine, Sabretooth, Wild Child, Romulus hell even Sasquatch is gonna be like having this feral gene in his system, and then, then um…Wolverine kills Sabretooth!!It’s gonna be soooo epic! Oh shit Marvel wants Sabretooth now to not be dead? Shit, hmmm well let’s just say Wolverine actually killed a Sabretooth clone! Yeah that’s it…then we’ll backtrack and say Wolverine suspected that the Sabretooth he beheaded back then smelled like a fake! Then Wolverine will find out that Sabretooth is really alive and that there’s like a hundred Sabretooth clones! Shit yeah!

Yeah then Romulus comes back….and um…hmm…shit he’s got a twin sister!! Yeah!! She’s called..um Remus! She’s a red head too cuz Logan loves red heads! She’s like in love with Wolverine too! Then let’s make Romulus dress up like Wolverine from the Weapon X days and put himself in a glass chamber! Yeaaaah! Yeah and then um…now he’s got real claws, made from like new school adamantium, it’s like stronger than the previously strongest unbreakable metal, it’s like even MORE unbreakable! Yes!!! Then let’s say, um Wolverine was actually the mastermind behind the Weapon X program?! Yes!! Yes!! What’s next? Hmmm…I’ll figure that out next month a few minutes before the issue’s deadline!!” I am pretty sure that’s how this all goes down for Loeb.

Seems like he’s having fun putting an ridiculous spin on Wolverine’s previously rad back story…So you know what? I guess I’ll just roll with his laughable story lines an try to have some fun too. At least it’s humorous, something that Wolverines past should never be. What do you think?

Captain America #600 Speculation!

I’ve been getting pretty excited for the big anniversary issue (#600) and have been trying to figure out what this huge reveal/development/twist is going to be that Marvel has been so vocal about the last few weeks.

At this point we’ve pretty much all seen the ads for ‘REBORN’ in the last few weeks’ comics, but it seriously raises some interesting questions that may develop in #600:

CaptainAmerica_600_EptingCover

Who or what is being reborn?

The obvious answer would be the return of Steve Rogers but Brubaker has been building up Bucky for a long time now and the character (as Cap) has only just recently been integrated into the Marvel Universe proper, it would seem illogical to bring Steve back right now. But with the movie in the works, Steve will have to be back by 2010 making it very possible he will return soon.

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