It’s December 2016 is a time for some serious holiday celebration! Sure I’ll be watching a ton of the usual classics like Santa Claus: The Movie, Elf, Rudolph, Gremlins etc etc. However I’m going to be busting out the Christmas horror movies again this of course and hopefully here I’ll be able to give you a few ideas of some movies to check out if you’re feeling like mixing it up a bit this year. We all know about the classics like Black Christmas, Silent Night Deadly Night, last years instant classic Krampus. Well here’s a few you may have never heard of but you should definitely seek out this season!
3615 code Pere Noel / AKA ‘Deadly Games’ (1989)
A true lost & forgotten gem of a movie. If you search the net for Christmas Horror movies, you for some crazy reason won’t find this one on any of the lists. However this french film, which I first saw last year, is easily one of the best Christmas horror movies of all time. It’s a rare one and finding a version of it with subtitles can be pretty difficult, I got a copy off of Ioffer.com.
Searching this one out is totally worth it though as it plays out like the ultimate 80’s Amblin style “Home Alone” hybrid of a film. It screams of the 1980’s and features a super cool kid obsessed with action movies who lives in a gigantic castle style mansion. During a snow storm on Christmas eve, he finds himself home alone with his grandfather where the house becomes under siege by a crazed maniac who is convinced he’s Santa Claus & is hell bent on punishing all those who’ve been naughty. This one deserves a proper release and then it rightly deserves to be a new addition on ALL Christmas horror lists.
The Christmas Tale (2005) Continue reading
So today we got the news that Hugh Jackman and James Mangold will be back for another solo Wolverine adventure. I say this is good news overall as “The Wolverine” was actually pretty decent until it’s out of place cartoony finale. It was a solid PG-13 attempt at telling a classic yet highly altered Wolverine movie comic book adaptation taken from the legendary Chris Claremont / Frank Miller limited series from 1982. They almost pulled it off too, until in the film’s final act when Mangold suddenly remembered he was making a Hollywood blockbuster and shoved a giant robot version of The Silver Samurai down our throats….uggh…Hollywood can really be the pits sometimes.
So anyway I’ve put together five classic Wolverine stories from the comic books that should be contenders for the next movie. At this point it’s common knowledge they’ll butcher some part of the story, but hey a guy can dream right? So listen up all you Hollywood numbskulls cause here at Universal Dork you’ll get my guidance toward making a movie that Wolverine flick fans deserve. Before I start the list though let me set up a few rules for the next flick.
First make this damn installment “Rated R”! The fans have spoken, we want some blood and guts in the next film. I wanna see him slice some people’s arms off, cut people in half ect ect. There’s no way a guy with adamantium claws wouldn’t cause a complete bloodbath while in battle. So give us some realism this time. Second let’s keep the story and visuals consistent if it’s gonna be cartoony then keep the whole flick that way, don’t insert some cartoon bullshit into an otherwise serious storyline. Keep with the tone of the movie. Lastly lets keep it character driven, keep it personal and let’s not get too many other characters or mutants in the mix, the last film was good in this way. Wolverine wasn’t saving the world, he was on a personal mission. These stories are where he works best, as a loner, when he’s out in the real world, drinkin’ at the bar and some serious shit goes down. Ok now onto my plot suggestions:
#5. Old Man Logan- This was quite an interesting modern Wolverine storyline and since Jackman is getting a bit older this might be a great one to make into a movie. However there could be some problems as The Hulk and Hawkeye are owned now by Disney. Perhaps they could settle on something that’d make it possible for these characters to cross over? Or Maybe this movie could be filmed in 10 years from now when Jackman is truly age appropriate for the story line. A futuristic Wolverine story with Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye would be pretty awesome and of course seeing Logan take on The Hulk would be quite a treat as well!!
#4. Kitty Pryde and Wolverine: Movie based on the 1984 mini-series could be a great sequel to “The Wolverine” as it takes Logan and Kitty Pryde who would of course be played by Ellen Page, who’s already stated she wants to make a solo film of her character from the movies, on an adventure together. So what better way to do this than add Jackman into the mix and kill two birds with one stone? Continue reading
It’s been confirmed today that Thanos will be the official villain for both The Avengers 2 and The Guardians of the Galaxy. Seriously both movies?! That’s a double dose of one of my least favorite Avengers villains ever! Uggh….I know everyone loves the Infinity Gauntlet but well to me I have always thought Thanos was a rather lackluster villain. He’s like DC’s Darseid only not as cool. I really was hoping that we’d get something different from the second Avengers movie, maybe even save this Thanos thing for the third movie as it seems inevitable that they’d have to make that storyline go somewhere.
I guess the whole cosmic Avengers and X-men stories for some reason have been my least favorite. But hey people fucking love shit when it’s in space, Jason, Hellraiser and god damn Leprechaun all made it into space right? Personally I always liked a more personal earthly threat, though I loved The Avengers I thought it’s villain/villains were a bit flawed and to be quite honest rather dull. The next installment I think needs an awesome cast of villains to deliver on levels and not only challenge the Avengers but really hurt them on more than just a physical level. I just don’t think Thanos is the man for the job. If it were up to me we’d see something like this for the third film:
1. Baron Zemo & The Masters of Evil:
To me having Zemo and The Masters of Evil would be the most perfect story for the next film. Not only do things get heated with these guys and The Avengers they downright dirty! If you don’t believe me just read The Avengers: Under Seige storyline, in my opinion the best Avengers story ever. With the Masters you also get a boatload of major villains that would be amazing to see on the big screen!
2. Doctor Doom:
This guy is easily one of the greatest villains ever!! Seriously everyone hates this guy, from Spidey, to Cap, to the Fantastic Four to yeah The Avengers! Seriously Marvel don’t waste your time saving him for yet another crappy ass Fantastic Four flick. Do him right-save him for the third film at least. Just let him be the ultimate Marvel villain he’s destined to be…Put him up against The Avengers!!
3. The Leader and his Gamma Crew:
So for The Avengers we got Thor’s ultimate villain Loki in the spotlight and personally he didn’t cut the cake for me! So why not bring a major Hulk villain to the table? We already got a glimpse of Samuel Sterns in the Norton Hulk film, so why not bring him into The Avengers 3? He could bring along a team of gamma freaks to take on the team also. The return of a further mutated Abomination (looking more like the comic book version), the evil gamma zombie Half-life, The Harpy, even the Bi-beast could be part of his crew….and of course his rubbery pink henchmen would have to be in it as well!
He was rumored as a possible villain in one of the upcoming movies already, but this freak would be the perfect villain for an Avengers movie. Imagine how horrific this guy would look on the big screen! Plus he rules over A.I.M. and they’d be the perfect threat against Shield & the team. So let’s get this weirdo on the big screen because he’s sure to put some real fear into movie goers hearts!
Now this guy could be quite possibly the coolest most ruthless Avenger’s villain of them all! Leave it to Hank Pym to fuck shit up for the team because in the third movie (assuming he appears in the second film) he could introduces his greatest creation Ultron to the world! Yeah and then shortly after Ultron goes berserk and decides that the world must be rid of humans and become completely cybertronic! A simple concept that potentially threatens the entire planet. imagine all of awesome robotic creatures the Avengers could face off against! Plus they’d have to include Jocasta to The Avengers roster-the hottest robot of all time!!
This is by far the best season to watch horror movies! So what are you gonna do with yourself before halloween? Spend your money sitting at a bar? Go to bed early? Watch reruns of Small Wonder ’til 2am? Smash some neighborhood pumpkins? No way! It’s Horror Movie Night time!! Pick out a few movies make some good food, grab some beer, invite some friends over and watch a few awesome movies in honor of this splendid holiday! But the real question is what to watch right? Well ponder this no longer because here are five movies that will be sure to please the even the most finnicky of your friends!
1. Trick ‘r Treat.
You read of the review months ago right here and luckily this one got released before halloween. This is probably your best bet for Horror Night since it obviously takes place on halloween and is one of the coolest halloween themed movies I have ever seen. It has a cool old school 80’s vibe, no CG and has four awesome interwoven tales of the macabre! Produced by X-men’s own Bryan singer to boot!