Tagged: Hawkeye

VHS VERDICT: 1988’s HAWKEYE – The Unofficial BEVERLY HILLS COP Sequel?!

Have you been waiting for the Beverly Hill’s Cop franchise to finally put out that fourth installment? Well, the wait is (sorta) over if you’ve never seen 1988’s ‘Hawkeye’ aka ‘Karate Cops’! Well I just checked this wildly ridiculous buddy cop flick on VHS and if you’ve ever been looking for more adventures with Eddie Murphy’s ‘Axel Foley’ then the wait is OVER! This movie has got the most convincing Eddie Murphy impersonator I’ve ever seen-he even looks just like him. Yeah Chuck Jeffreys will make you think you’re watching “Axel F” on a forgotten 80’s adventure. Though the movie’s budget is probably one tenth of the popular ‘Beverly Hills Cop’ franchise it actually delivers equal amounts of the real goods, in fact it’s probably better than any of the franchises REAL sequels!

We’ve got pretty much the ultimate buddy cop/martial arts team up here on display-which just wouldn’t be as ridiculously charming without the addition of co-lead George Chung who stars as Hawkeye. Talk about an interesting character, Hawkeye is no typical 80’s Asian stereotype, in fact it’s beaten into the audience’s head that he’s from Texas more than a dozen times. He’s got a hot head, cocky attitude and a huge chip on his shoulder along with his western fashion IE snazzy cowboy boots and giant western belt buckles. He’s quite the hotshot and it’s a boat load of fun to watch him in ass-kickin’ action as he’s ready to take a bite outta crime at the drop of a cowboy hat.

Things wouldn’t be nearly as fun though if Hawkeye didn’t partner up with Chuck Jeffrey’s Eddie Murphy clone Charles Wilson (I started just calling him Axel Farley) to kick all sorts of criminal scumbag butt. Yeah Jeffrey’s has got his Eddie Murphy look, mannerisms and joke’s down, so much so subconsciously I actually began to believe he was indeed Eddie. Well he was apparently so obsessed with impersonating Murphy he did it in 1987’s ‘Paper Dragons’ aka ‘Fight to Win’ check out this VHS cover- I’ve got to see this one! I’m pretty sure he might “do the Murphy” in most of the movies he starred in….

These two make a pretty stupid but entertaining pair too, it’s never a dull moment seeing their witty banter and it’s clear BOTH of them are wildly talented at karate. It’s really jam packed with over the top action sequences and dumb shootouts on the streets & hotels of 1980s Vegas. Basically its a revenge story, when Haweye’s partner is killed in a drug investigation, he’s out for bloody revenge, at first he and Charles (Axel Farley) are like oil and water but after assaulting each other a few minutes after getting paired up they’re suddenly getting along like two peas in a damn pod! These two numbnuts are a wild duo and it seems like George Chung who co-wrote, directed and starred in this got a kick out of having his character Hawkeye get racist stereotypes and insults hurled at him throughout, an interesting angle when you know he was behind a lot of the humor.

Somehow it all works- the cocky asian texan cowboy and the Eddie Murphy rip-off have WAY too much fun together on screen and the villains are also just as ridiculous as the heroes in the best ways possible. My only qualm was that I was hoping for a better karate fueled showdown, when the credits rolled I was a bit surprised it’d ended when it did. It felt to me like a chunk of the finale went missing- but all in all though the movie as whole still was pretty satisfying. I highly recommend this fun but idiotic buddy cop flick-especially if you’re a big Eddie Murphy fanatic! It’s got to be seen to be believed! Here’s the full movie right here:

 

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Comic Cover of the Week: Wisconsin’s Finest AVENGERS!

I’ve been saying it here literally for years, the MCU is missing the boat on one of their most outrageously hilarious superhero teams: The Great Lakes Avengers! Since the Avengers are still all the rage and essentially dismantled at the moment, it’d be the perfect time for the comedic gold of Wisconsin’s very own superhero team to get a series of their own on Disney Plus. The team was created way back in 1989 by none other than comic icon writer and artist John Byrne and their introduction back then meant a lot to me at the time being a Wisconsinite myself. Essentially a band of misfit z-grade superheroes who decide to start an Avengers team of their own to rep the Midwest, only problem is their crime fighting skills aren’t exactly “Avenger’s level”. Nope the team’s got A LOT of work to do-but none of that’s gonna stop em’ from tryin’ dammit!

Even at one point Hawkeye and Mockingbird attempt to train them, which of course proves to be quite challenging in itself. The team went on to later appear alongside Deadpool and also had a great 4-issue miniseries by Dan Slott that’s a must read. They more recently tried to give them their own monthly book, but it really lost the dark comedy angle and edge of their previous appearances and was cancelled. This great cover by John Byrne shows once again how effective simplicity can be as we got our very first look at the mighty Great Lakes Avengers!~

  

It’s The Perfect Time for ‘The Great Lakes AVENGERS’ to Enter the MCU!

True Believers, it’s never been a more perfect time for the ‘Great Lakes Avengers’ to make their grand entrance into the MCU! Ok, I know many of you casual Marvel movie fanatics out there are likely wondering just who and what the hell I’m talking about, but the “GLA” as they’re also referred to have been around since the late 80’s and have on a couple occasions attempted to actually replace The Avengers, most notably when they tragically disassembled in 2004 in the comics. The Milwaukee, Wisconsin based team are most well known as the ultimate gang of blundering misfit superheroes and when the Avengers disbanded they figured they’d simply take the mantle of the team for themselves to reap all the glory for themselves. Of course they quickly found out they weren’t quite qualified when it came down to taking out major threats to the planet. So why introduce these guys now into the MCU huh?

Well at the current moment in the movies The Avengers aren’t really a thing anymore, at least for the moment. With Cap old & retired and Tony Stark dead, it’d be the perfect time to check out the origin story and rise of ‘The Great Lakes Avengers’. In fact with the ‘Disney+’ streaming service there’s the platform needed to tell their ridiculously madcap story. Since 1989 when writer/artist John Byrne introduced the underdog team to the Marvel Universe (West Coast Avengers #46), I’ve been a big fan. In fact I listed them before as one of the obscure Marvel teams I thought would make a great movie or better yet today a comedic Disney+ series after the success of the D-listers The Guardians of the Galaxy. To me the team has so much more potential than GOG, with their origin story alone being a helluva good adventure, if even at times more of a dark comedy.

The name of the team alone would spark immediate interest and originally back in the comic books they’d even been coached by Hawkeye and Mockingbird who desperately tried to whip them into shape. You could even have Jeremy Renner make a cameo in an episode as Hawkeye to do just that. Considering the team’s ranks were filled from a classified ad in the newspaper would open the door to so many great comedic scenarios as well.

Then there’s the team themselves, which consists of Mr. Immortal, a mutant with a super-superhuman healing factor and the ability to survive the most gruesome deaths, Bertha who’s the most popular fashion icon in Milwaukee WI who has the ability to bulk up like the Blob, Dinah-soar the flying female reptilian, Doorman a mutant who can create doorways using alternate universes to pass through solid objects and finally Flatman, the team’s current leader & openly gay two dimensional version of Reed Richards. But wait the team was also home to the now iconic Squirrel Girl and this would be the perfect place for her to make her official MCU debut!

This team and their story would make for the perfect superhero series, there’s so many interesting angles to explore. From forming the team, to training to be the new “Avengers”, to their many failed missions and their attempt to square off against a real superhuman threat. There’s something truly charming about exploring an underdog group of down on their luck superhuman characters. The comedy practically writes itself and they’d be a surefire win in a series of their own as there’s nothing quite like them out there yet. So what do you think? Do you think now’s the time for this weird-o gang of midwest superheroes to enter into the fold?! If I’ve peaked your interest a good launch point of the team is the six issue mini series from Dan Slott from 2005 called “GLA: Misassembled”, I think that would be a perfect blueprint for a Disney+ series….

OMG! Have You Seen the Boring “New” Jeremy Renner Hawkeye Costume?!!

I’ve seen the big hype all over lately about Jeremy Renner’s “new” Hawkeye costume for  the upcoming Civil War movie and you know what….so WHAT of if?! If they really wanted to impress us comic book fans they could have done waaaay better than that! When I first saw the headlines I was actually really really excited! In my mind I was fully ready to see this:

Or This:

but in reality something like this most likely:

But instead it was..yawn..this… 

Ok so now that picture above isn’t really bad at all, it’s just really nothing new. In fact Isn’t that pretty much what he’s been wearing in every other movie? So everyone please calm down about Hawkeye’s new costume, it’s really nothing to get your undies in a bundle over, at least if you’re a long time fan of the comic book character. Peace!!

8 Bit Video Game Madness: Guardians of the Galaxy and More Old School Comic book Video Games!!

Who doesn’t love an old school video game like Mega Man or Castlevania?!! Well this new little video by Cinefix recreates the Guardians of the Galaxy into an awesome old school video game straight out of the 1980’s! If this game would have been available back then I would have played thew shit out of this!

I’m really not much of a new school video gamer, I just don’t have the time to commit to anymore screentime, as in sitting in front of a tv screen, internet, phone but something like this I could really get behind check this out this would have been a classic!

Oh and while I’m in the old school comic book video game mood let’s not forget the awesome Sega Incredible Hulk game from 1994! Hot Damn do I need to play this one ASAP!! Look how awesome it was! In the opening you can see some classic hulk villains here like the Absorbing Man, Tyrannus, The Leader and The Rhino!! 

Hel while we’re at it let’s not forget the classic Spider-man video game from 1991!! This one you can actually play as Haweye, Submariner and The Black Cat!! Daaaamn!!! I need to play this ASAP!!!

I guess we could say this one was slightly better than this one from Atari 2600!

And this one from 1989! But this one is still pretty cool if just for the fact it’s got Cap also!

And we got a great odd guest appearance in the Revenge of Shinobi from 1989-Spidey was a boss!!

Let’s also not forget the 1989 X-men video game Madness in Murderworld!

And yes there was a Howard the Duck video game from 1985….but …well yeah it sucked!!!

 

The Incredible Hulk’s Sexual Frustration!

I had to share this rad little clip from College Humor being a huge Hulk fan i totally dug this one-Great little comedy on Bruce Banner’s frustrating sex life!! Check it out!!!

The Wolverine Sequel: Top 5 Classic Comic Storylines for the Next Movie!

So today we got the news that Hugh Jackman and James Mangold will be back for another solo Wolverine adventure. I say this is good news overall as “The Wolverine” was actually pretty decent until it’s out of place cartoony finale. It was a solid PG-13 attempt at telling a classic yet highly altered Wolverine movie comic book adaptation taken from the legendary Chris Claremont / Frank Miller limited series from 1982. They almost pulled it off too, until in the film’s final act when Mangold suddenly remembered he was making a Hollywood blockbuster and shoved a giant robot version of The Silver Samurai down our throats….uggh…Hollywood can really be the pits sometimes.

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So anyway I’ve put together five classic Wolverine stories from the comic books that should be contenders for the next movie. At this point it’s common knowledge they’ll butcher some part of the story, but hey a guy can dream right? So listen up all you Hollywood numbskulls cause here at Universal Dork you’ll get my guidance toward making a movie that Wolverine flick fans deserve. Before I start the list though let me set up a few rules for the next flick.

First make this damn installment “Rated R”! The fans have spoken, we want some blood and guts in the next film. I wanna see him slice some people’s arms off, cut people in half ect ect. There’s no way a guy with adamantium claws wouldn’t cause a complete bloodbath while in battle. So give us some realism this time. Second let’s keep the story and visuals consistent if it’s gonna be cartoony then keep the whole flick that way, don’t insert some cartoon bullshit into an otherwise serious storyline. Keep with the tone of the movie. Lastly lets keep it character driven, keep it personal and let’s not get too many other characters or mutants in the mix, the last film was good in this way. Wolverine wasn’t saving the world, he was on a personal mission. These stories are where he works best, as a loner, when he’s out in the real world, drinkin’ at the bar and some serious shit goes down. Ok now onto my plot suggestions:

#5. Old Man Logan- This was quite an interesting modern Wolverine storyline and since Jackman is getting a bit older this might be a great one to make into a movie. However there could be some problems as The Hulk and Hawkeye are owned now by Disney. Perhaps they could settle on something that’d make it possible for these characters to cross over? Or Maybe this movie could be filmed in 10 years from now when Jackman is truly age appropriate for the story line. A futuristic Wolverine story with Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye would be pretty awesome and of course seeing Logan take on The Hulk would be quite a treat as well!!

oldmanlogan

#4. Kitty Pryde and Wolverine:  Movie based on the 1984 mini-series could be a great sequel to “The Wolverine” as it takes Logan and Kitty Pryde who would of course be played by Ellen Page, who’s already stated she wants to make a solo film of her character from the movies, on an adventure together. So what better way to do this than add Jackman into the mix and kill two birds with one stone? Continue reading

So Where Are The Great Lakes AVENGERS These Days?!!

I am a mid westerner originally from Wisconsin, born in Milwaukee so naturally I have a HUGE soft spot for our super hero team The Great Lakes Avengers! Well first off they were created by John Byrne one of my all time favorite people ever in the world of comic books way back in 1989. Second they were formed in / and operate out of Milwaukee Wisconsin!

So I was thing today that it’s been a while since we’ve heard a much more than peep out of these guys, aside from their brief appearance in Fear Itself: Home Front #6 -last I heard they were forced to change their name from Avengers & X-men to The Great Lakes Initiative.

Well it seems these guys are always jumping on the bandwagon, so one might naturally assume that due to this sudden popularity of the Avengers that they would surely be changing their name Back to The GLA?!

Well here’s a blog post purely made to generate a little interest from the people of the Mid-west to demand that these guys get some new born respect!! Hell how about another mini series? The Dan Slott one was great and now that the Avengers are all the rage I’m certain these guys could sell a few issues no problem!

So Marvel let’s get on the ball because there are people out there (there are some right?!) who can’t wait to read what Mr. Immortal, Big Bertha, Doorman & Flatman are up to these days? Let’s not forget that Deadpool is a reserve member of the team! In the meantime I am gonna track down all of their appearances I missed out on! Mid-west Represent-LONG LIVE THE GREAT LAKES AVENGERS!

Oh yeah…weirdly discovered a pop punk tune written by Kirby Krackle from Seattle about the team..interesting…I guess they are some sort of geek core band?

New Comic Day Reviews 1/29: Crossed, New Avengers, X-Force…

Here you’ll find reviews for this week’s comic book haul. Not a huge week overall but reviews for The Crossed #3, X-Force #11, Avengers: The Initiative #21 and New Avengers #49. The reviews are spoiler-heavy so don’t click “more” if you want to stay spoiler-free!!

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