Holy Hell! I’ve got to make some time here to give some props to Hugh Jackman’s “last” run as Wolverine! I know everyone and their mom, dad & parakeet are talking about how great this movie is and yeah I agree it’s a glorious final chapter. They finally took the gloves off and let Wolverine be Wolverine. I find it funny how damn long it takes Hollywood to figure out what us comic book fanatics knew way back in the year 2000. We want our Wolverine to be a savage lil’ a-hole and you just can’t really do it with a PG-13 rating. So as you know by now obviously Logan is bloody, gritty and tonally different than any of the other movies. It’s a no BS affair, it’s personal and it has real heart. There are no giant CG robots or even a weak ass version of Sabretooth anywhere in sight. Nope Wolverine here is a cussin’, drinkin’, pissed off SOB and it’s great to finally see him the way he was more or less supposed to be all along. Sure he’s older and weaker here but hey I’ll take what I can get dammit!
Patrick Stewart as Charles Xavier is amazing and so is Dafne Keen’s X-23. They both nearly steal the thunder from Logan time and time again throughout the movie. By now you’ve likely heard it ALL and probably seen the movie. It’s great and I’ll see it again, soon. BUT, yes there is a but here and it needs to be addressed (SPOILERS AHEAD). My biggest problem with ‘Logan’ was it’s villain/villains. That’s not to say I didn’t dig Donald Pierce and his Reavers, they were forgettably fine but let’s be honest they could have been AMAZING. When I heard that they were going up against Wolverine in this final flick I was fucking thrilled. The Reavers could have and should have been a seriously scary force to be reckoned with.
Sure Donald Pierce had a dinky lil’ cybernetic hand but he could have been a lot more like his counterpart from the comics with four cybernetic limbs & superhuman strength. They failed to make him a truly deadly opponent and the rest of The Reavers should have been modeled after the legendary comic book team. Imagine the original Reavers with an even deadlier Lady Deathstrike back again looking more like comic book counterpart. It should have been Logan and co taking on serious threats more similar to ‘The Terminator’. That would have been amazing. They missed an opportunity to really bring us the psychotic cyborgs we deserved to see. They gave us a lot of throwaway soldiers for him and x-23 to mow down sure, but none of them served any other purpose than just that.
The real threat here was X-24, a villain that to me felt as about exciting as “Deadpool” from X-men Origins: Wolverine. I was really disappointed to see a Hugh Jackman ‘clone’ as the big bad muscle of the movie. That was a serious mis-step in my opinion. I only say this because we could have gotten any number of amazing Wolverine villains in his place. Imagine for a second that their secret weapon was Omega Red?! Or Cyber? Daken? Razorfist? Heck even a bigger badder version of Sabretooth would have been welcome.
My point being we really didn’t need any of them, we already had Donald Pierce and The Reavers. They could have supplied us with all sorts of frightening cybernetic mayhem. Instead they went the overused “fight your clone / fight yourself” route. Ahhh well what can I say, I am a picky comic book bastard. It just irritates me that they got so close to me having to just shut the fuck up and admit perfection. At least they finally got ol’ Wolvie right. It took them seventeen years to figure it all out and I’m damn glad they did. This is clearly a groundbreaking movie that’ll change the way comic book movies are made from this point on. Don’t get me wrong I give ‘Logan’ a solid A-, but in the future though let’s give the same care to the villains as we do to the heroes cuz a hero’s only as good as his villain! Oh yeah one more thing I highly doubt this is the last time we’ll see Mr. Jackman in the role of Logan, this movie is a box office smash and we all know money talks…why stop now anyway when you finally figured it all out?!!
Remember when Wolverine was truly awesome?! No? Well it’s been a long while since Wolverine was a mysterious, weird looking, bar brawlin’, little runt with indestructible razor sharp claws. Now he’s Old Man Logan because X-23 is the female Wolverine. Now he’s been in a bunch of mainstream movies with a tall, hot, hunky leading man playing him. He’s been way overexposed over the years so Marvel could fully cash in on big time profits. He’s hardly a mysterious character anymore. Wolverine is much like say, the band Metallica in 2016, a watered down, bland, tired version of the badass metal band they were in the 1980’s. Wolverine however didn’t always used to be this way believe it or not way back when he was the epitome of cool. He was so damn awesome back in the 1980’s even the indie comics couldn’t come up with a character who was half as kick ass as ol’ Logan. Yep Marvel had their shit fully together and they knew it. Back in the 1980’s the X-men were something special and over the years they’ve become a gang of predictable, mega mainstream pop culture icons. Well back when Wolverine was a scary dude the X-Men was really the only place you could find this character monthly until 1989 when he finally got his own series. Here’s an example of how awesome the character was in the 80’s. Another amazing cover from the master Barry Windsor Smith….
I’ve been a bit torn lately on the the upcoming third Wolverine movie which is slated to also be Hugh Jackman’s last appearance as the legendary mutant. Why? Well ever since we got word of this final flick being based upon the popular ‘Old Man Logan’ series it’s been a major issue that the story wouldn’t be able to use the key characters from the comics due to issues with studio property rights. I think they should wait another five or so years to do Old Man Logan, when Hugh IS actually older. I’ve also stated before that a totally original story would be pretty awesome for the third movie as they seem to almost always slaughter any story they rip from the comic books. I mean how can you do Old Man Logan without the fucking Incredible Hulk?!! Well now there’s word that this third movie will feature some classic villains which have me back on board for Wolverine 3.
Yeah Old Man Logan is rumored to feature “The Reavers” who just happen to be some of my favorite bad guys from the X-men comic books. A futuristic road trip Mad Max style Wolverine movie with these blood thirsty cyborgs on their trail sounds fantastic to me! My only concern is that they’re also supposedly going to try and bring back Liev Shreiber as Sabretooth….uggh. Continue reading
I checked out ‘X-Men: Apocalypse’ today, a movie I was super excited for as I was a huge fan of ‘Days of Future Past’ and the other Singer X-Men movies. I’m sorry to say that for some reason this latest installment is a big bloated mess that sadly misses the mark by a boatload. I loved that the last movie was set in the 1970’s & was so stoked on the idea of this one taking place in the 1980’s. However, aside from some cool vintage wardrobe and a Ms. Pac-man video game there wasn’t much else in this one that for me really brought me back to that great era of the X-Men comic books.
There was simply just too many damn characters running around, the story was missing heart and the special effects were just too much of a cartoony CG mess to convince me that the Earth was in any serious danger. I had high hopes forthe movies antagonist Apocalypse too and didn’t even mind his look, which most people were in a frenzy about from the start. However, Apocalypse as a villain was just way too hokey to be taken seriously and yeah he really did look a bit ridiculous I must admit.
And Talk about a villain who takes himself way too seriously, jeez, he seemed more like an overdramatic cartoon version of the legendary villain. We’re really not given that much character development here for anyone, everything that happens happens way too coincidentally including the origin of people’s hairstyles! It seems Apocalypse is not only responsible for huge amounts of global chaos but also for Storm’s white hair & ALSO Professor X’s bald ass head!! Continue reading
With all of this talk about the death of Wolverine lately it’s got many people debating the true motivations behind Marvel’s decision to “off” him. Some people think it’s a dick move by Marvel to screw over Fox for having the rights to the character theatrically. Others think more to the obvious, that Wolverine has been turned into a boring, over exploited, cash-cow character by Marvel. As I said yesterday, he was once the most mysterious character perhaps in comic book history. There’s not much left to the imagination anymore regarding Logan, not many interesting stones left unturned in his past. However I’d like to bring to light something that we touched upon a few years back here that’s quite interesting. Logan’s other son “Erista”! Nope we’re not talking about that brat Daken. We’re talking about another kid that “dead beat dad” Logan has running around the Savage Land! Many people forget about a one shot by Mike Mignola called “The Jungle Adventure” from 1989.
This saw Wolverine escaping his troubles in the Savage Land, because back in the 1980’s when Wolverine was interesting he’d do cool shit like this. There he met an amazonian woman named Ghack and they got busy right there in the Jungle, of course this happened when Wolverine was still a rad dude before he started hanging out at the Avengers mansion with Tony Stark drinking cocktails. So Ghack has a child named Erista, son of Wolverine. Of course Wolverine splits and never checks back to see if he got Ghack pregnant, maybe not such a cool move, but well I guess that’s how he rolled back then.
Strangely we have never seen or heard from Erista or Ghack since! Nope just this one issue ever addresses the issue. It’s hard to believe that Marvel hasn’t exploited the living shit outta his long lost son by now! I say with Wolverine soon to kick the bucket we finally get the scoop on this guy! What the hell has he been up to? Is he still roaming around the Savage Land? Perhaps he’s a character we’ve already met-who’s simply unaware that Logan is his father? Shouldn’t he meet his douchey brother Daken one of these days? I think this is a missed opportunity Marvel-you could cash in big time with Erista! At the very least it’s something that legitimately remains one of the last truly mysterious things about Wolverine’s past…
The other day I was re-reading the somewhat forgotten Wolverine graphic novel, ‘The Jungle Adventure’, a great solo Wolverine story by Walt Simonson and Mike Mignola.
In this tale, Wolverine escapes from his recent troubles with the X-Men by hanging out in the Savage Land. Eventually he becomes a pretty prominent member of a native tribe, even fighting Apocalypse in their defense.
But the real gold is that while there, he fucks a very large woman named Ghack who delivers his son, unbeknownst to him. This little guy’s name is Erista and nobody has given a shit about him since 1990!!
Instead we have this Daken dipshit running around the MU with his ‘tribal tats’ and mohawk, crying to everyone within earshot about his daddy issues. I think the time is now for the return of Erista, savage-land warrior with Wolverine’s blood, to surface in the MU, put Daken out of his misery and stake his claim as the original Wolverine offspring.
Oh and anyone else out there wondering about Lynx? She was like a daughter to Wolverine and last we saw her, it was 1993 and she was left to fend for herself in the Candian wilderness. Let’s get her back too so she can show X-23 (or Laura or whatever) who’s boss!