Tagged: satan
Comic Cover of the Week: Totally 80s HEAVY Metal Marvel!
The NEW Defenders were a pretty awesome era of the team with a totally sweet line up and one of the team’s best member’s GARGOYLE! I say that here we have one of Marvel’s most METAL covers, 1984’s issue #136. We see a wild sort of thrash metal style satanic themed masterpiece featuring a pentagram glowing while Gargoyle’s brain fries! What a great simple but utterly breathtaking cover by Frank Cirocco that could have been easily used by a band like Slayer in the 80s!!
Monster Puppets, Magic & Mystery: ONYX The FORTUITOUS & The TALISMAN of SOULS
I went into ‘ONYX The FORTUITOUS & The TALISMAN of SOULS’ not knowing much of what to expect except that it apparently had Barbara Crampton and Jeffrey Combs in it, which I assumed would likely be small cameos. However this new horror comedy was a breath of fresh air and though it did only feature Crampton in a cameo, Combs was a major player here as the movie’s sinister villain. Better yet the film’s jam packed with some really sharp comedy, mainly from the film’s writer, director, editor and star of the film Andrew Bowser who plays the severely socially awkward character Marcus (but he prefers to be called Onyx the Fortuitous). Marcus lives with his mom, works at a fast-food burger joint and gets zero respect from anyone.
He’s quite a strange character who’s brand of humor is likely to divide audiences-luckily I thought he was pretty entertaining but I can see how he could be a bit too much for certain people to endure. Almost like fast talking “Napoleon Dynamite” whose mannerisms sorta have to be seen to be fully embraced. Apparently Andrew Bowser has been doing the character on Youtube for a while now and this is his feature film debut.
Anyway Marcus’ life has reached an all time low when it’s apparent he’s got no real friends or meaningful relationships that is until he wins a contest to a weekend stay at a creepy mansion hosted by his favorite online Satanic occult personality “Bartok the Great” and his sexy assistant Farrah. There he meets a cast off oddball characters who’ve also won this odd vacation opportunity. However they get much more than they bargained for when they realize all is not as it seems and there’s a much more sinister plan afoot that catapults them into bizarre mystery leaving them trapped inside the stronghold. The best thing about this weird little horror comedy are the uniquely ridiculous characters we follow. As Marcus, who convinces the rest of the crew to call him “Onyx” isn’t strange enough he’s joined by a solid supporting cast.
Jeffrey Combs delivers the goods here too, he’s not phoning it in and we all know when he’s on top of his game he’s a cinematic genius to behold. The film’s cast really pushes this one along at a brisk pace with plenty of heart and intrigue-but there’s more for old school horror fans. The special fx here also take center stage with some truly impressive creatures that are brought to life via some incredible puppetry and animatronics. This one would make even Jim Henson’s Creature Shop a bit jealous I think. Minimal CGI here is greatly appreciated and it shows just how special a production can feel when filled with creations that are actually on set.
That all being said I wish that they’d have gotten a bit more screen time, most of the stunning puppetry is contained to one key sequence. The trailer does make it look a little more fully loaded with monsters, still maybe less is more in this case and the movie might’ve benefitted more from the way it’s characters, at the end of the day, shine more than any crazy gore or bloodthirsty creatures. This one’s comedy which I think is pretty razor sharp for the most parts (aside from maybe getting a little too cutesy at the finale) is really the main attraction. But that doesn’t mean the film doesn’t look great-it’s got the spooky atmosphere nailed down but could’ve utilized the set pieces a bit more to really push the adventure to the next level. All in all though this one was a real delight and a bonafide vanity project from Andrew Bowser that’s bound to end up a modern day cult classic.
It’s got the FX, the humor, colorful characters, mystery, totally excellent puppet monsters and just the right amount of heart to give it some emotional weight. Check this one out if you’re looking for something a bit different-hopefully you’ll find Andrew’s character “Onyx” as hilarious as I did-that being said-you’ve been WARNED!!
RACE WITH THE DEVIL: The Perfect 1970s Satanic Road Trip!
You just gotta love a solid road trip flick and one of the best ones around is easily RACE WITH THE DEVIL. The 1975 horror action thriller hybrid that pits an RV against a wicked satanic cult! I’d say as far as 70s action horror films go this one is a huge home run, with a excellent cast of characters played by Peter Fonda, Warren Oates, Loretta Swit (Hot Lips from M.A.S.H.) and Lara Parker. Road trip flicks just simply don’t get any better than this!
One thing I’ve always been a big fan of is a damn good road trip film and one with a giant ass RV is even better. Now add in an evil Satanic cult for the icing on the cake as well as some grade A car chases and we’ve got a bonafide cult (no pun intended) classic. Roger (Peter Fonda), along with his good buddy Frank (Warren Oates) are two hot shot motocross dudes who’re pumped to head out onto the open road with their wives Lara Parker (Alice) & Loretta Swit (Kelly) in their huge RV for some relaxation, drinkin’ and of course some motorbikin’!
Headed from San Antonio to the boonies of Texas, they stop off for the evening at a remote campsite. All seems fine when Roger & Frank decide to get wasted and hang outside under the moonlight to shoot the shit. All is not quiet though. They spot a Satanic cult across the river and witness a murderous ritual. They’re caught watching the Satanists devious ritual triggering a vicious game of cat and mouse on the highways and small towns of Texas. Roger, Frank, Alice and Kelly are on the run from a wicked cult who’s membership extends farther than they could ever imagine.
‘Race with the Devil’, directed by Jack Starrett, mostly know as a TV director, really hits all the right beats here. A sweet cast of likable characters are the perfect crew to root for making this easily one of the best road trip horror thrillers out there. Obviously the RV makes for the perfect cozy setting for a rad road adventure, and this thing is seriously decked out.
There’s so much to enjoy here as well for horror fans, the cult is creepy and relentless in a time where people couldn’t just pull out their phones for GPS or call the cops at any moment. In the 70s you had to have your wits and genuine ingenuity to escape an evil cult in hot pursuit. There’s not a dull moment here either, ‘Race with the Devil’ moves at a brisk pace and keeps you on the very edge of your seat until it’s final moments. It features cool locales, campsites, dive bars, trailer parks all host the intrigue, dread and even a few laughs along the way.
As soon as you settle back down to safety, something rears it’s head to remind you nothing can be trusted on the backwoods roads and our gang is in it for the long haul. It’s low on blood & gore but bursting with thrills, chills and some fucking great action sequences, proving you don’t always need a high body count to deliver a well crafted horror film. The 1970s were an awesome era for film, the fashion and the gritty realism make a movie like ‘Race with the Devil’ even more potent now in a sea of cheap looking modern bloated CG conveyer belt film making. It doesn’t get much better than THIS. There’s also a cool double feature blu ray from Shout Factory of it.
Blu Review: 80s Linnea Quigley + Evil Priests Conspire in Heartland of Darkness!
I checked out the new blu ray from Visual Vengeance, the lost 80s horror thriller Heartland of Darkness. Apparently this little “smalltownsploitation” movie was never released before this and for die hards of the genre it even features Linnea Quigley too. The movie actually shot in 1989 was recently given some finishing touches and for the most part this is a pretty charming little horror tinged thriller with strong characters, plenty of intrigue, sassy dialogue and decent amount of satanic panic.
Originally titled ‘Blood Church’ we get the story of big trouble in a small town, mainly with a wicked Catholic priest in disguise who’s secretly the head of satanic cult who’s on a killing spree (or maybe that’s just a now considered standard priest?). Too bad for him and his gang because big city journalist Paul Henson and his teen daughter move to town on a mission to start a local no B.S. newspaper. Soon he’s joined by a sexy big city reporter small town transplant who’s decided to join the paper and put the kibosh on the Cult’s wicked murderous rampage. This starts a series of bizarre events within the hierarchy of the town folk, with a massive conspiracy in play. Oh and it also inspires Linnea to of course get a bit frisky in a graveyard again!
I enjoyed the heck out of Heartland of Darkness, it’s got a cool cast of likable characters, a satanic cult, conspiracy, mystery, Linnea Quigley (looking cuter than ever) getting naked twice, a bit of romance as well as some decent gore and a bit of action to boot. It never really drags but at around an hour and forty minutes I think it could have benefited with a tighter edit. I also think Linnea could have had a bigger better role in the story but it’s pretty cool at least to just see her onscreen here in a lost 80s role.
What’s also interesting is a few sequences where you can tell it got a few “modern” edits. There’s some lightning that appears to be digitally inserted and even a scene where it’s seems clear an out of place looking digital “explosion” must have been inserted, perhaps to make better sense of the uncompleted film? Or maybe it was just the directors dream to have it in there? I’d likely have to take a deep dive into the extensive plethora of bonus features provided here, one being a new interview with Linnea as well as the original 1990 work print of the film at that time titled “Fallen Angels”.
It also comes with stickers, liner notes and some other surprising physical goodies inside the blu. This was a real treat to watch for the first time, that being said, will I watch it again? Probably not. There’s nothing particularly memorable here that’s going to separate it from the gems of 1989 and make you salivate for a rewatch. However horror collectors and Linnea completists are going to wanna take note and grab a copy. There was clearly a LOT of love from Visual Vengeance here to make this release something truly special. It’s pretty fun package all in all. Visual Vengeance is putting out some really sweet releases. Check it out!
Movie Reviews: Shatner Kills Demons with a Bazooka?! Killer Clowns from Wisconsin?!
I headed out to the local video store the other night (yeah in Portland we still got an amazing one called Movie Madness) to rent some movies, just like we used to do back in the good ol’ days. Let’s face it folks, sometimes it’s nice to take a break from the bland streaming services like Netflix and physically roam around a video store in hopes of stumbling across something entertaining. I decided this time I’d check out some new stuff I haven’t seen streaming out there.
First up was ‘Gags The Clown’ a movie I’d wanted to check out for quite some time now, being a Wisconsin native for much of my life & knowing this horror flick takes place in Green Bay (a place I’d personally hung out so many times in my teens & twenties) made this a no brainer rental. The cover art alone is pretty awesome and would look lovely gracing an old VHS.
Anyway I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not a giant fan of “found footage” horror movies and it’s been pretty played out these days in my opinion at least. But in this case I was lured in mainly because I’m just downright intrigued by movies made in ‘The Dairy state’. So the idea of ‘Gags’ was inspired by the whole creepy clown roaming the streets in real life viral video phenomenon a few years or so back. The interesting thing here is that creator of ‘Gags’ actually took advantage of this using his character to supposedly fool local Green Bay residents and the local news to report on it, eventually gathering up some worldwide interest in the creepy clown. A pretty brilliant marketing move to say the least. Continue reading
VHS Verdict: A Wild Ride On The ‘Night Train to Terror’!
I recently checked out a pretty sweet little horror anthology from 1985 called ‘Night Train to Terror’ on VHS and it did indeed deliver the goods, especially in that oh so ridiculously sweet 80’s way. It’s not always easy to find a decent horror anthology but this one had a certain charm about it especially with it’s rather ambitious special fx & visuals that really made it such a damn good time.
The movie certainly kicks off with a total bang as we’re thrust into a full blown dance party on a train, with crazy 80’s fashion, a super cheezed out band rockin’ performing a totally “rad” third rate pop song. Now that’s a train I want to reserve a seat on! Anyway, soon we realize that God and Satan are also on a train that’s flying through outer space and trying to determine who will live on the party train as it’s going to crash. This is where we see the frightening tales of evil materialize on screen as it sets the stage for the stories involving some of the more questionable passengers.
So what we’ve got here are a few cool tales of terror, what’s really interesting is these stories here are all apparently edited versions of different horror films: Death Wish Club, Cataclysm and an unfinished movie project with Richard Moll (of Night Court fame) called Scream Your Head Off. Yeah and if you’re for some reason a big Richard Moll fan you’ll be pleased to know he stars in two of the segments! Also while we’re on the hot topic of Richard Moll flicks, you’ve got to check out ‘The Dungeonmaster’ from 1984, which is easily one of the most ridiculously fun horror/Sci fi flicks of the 80s. So back to the Night Train, it would seem one reason why these segments work so well is that they’ve likely trimmed out all of the excess fat from these movies and got to get straight to the damn point. So many obscure 80’s horror flicks would be bonafide cult classics if they’d trim 20 or so minutes from their run times. That’s a fact!
Yep, Night Train has got a lot to offer in it’s spooky entries, but don’t expect shit to make a heckuva lot of sense. The stories are actually kinda confusing, probably because they’ve been majorly butchered to pieces. That being said, there’s some cool shit going on, there’s one about a dude who drugs women, then kills them only to collect their organs. There’s a ton of nudity and some gore and of course Richard Moll shows up. The next segment’s about a freaky ass death club, whose members are obsessed with near death experiences, not the “out of body” stuff but like putting themselves into elaborate death traps to see if they can survive it. This one’s also pretty damn confusing, but there’s some cool ass traps and a rad killer insect that they let out of a bottle to fly around them at a dinner table..oh yeah and then some killer big hungry monster bugs! Lastly the third one was fucking fantastic, It had some weird ass Nazi guy who never ages, you guessed it…more Richard Moll, monsters a plenty and a totally excellent stop-motion animation creature sequence. This one’s story is super confusing as well, or maybe i’m just stupid, but it doesn’t really matter because it’s all 80’s gory goodness. I’d say just drink some booze and smoke a joint before watching, as it’s not there to wow anyone with a well crafted story that’s for sure!
So check this one out if you’re in the mood for a sweet 1980’s horror party flick, it delivers on all levels and you really don’t have to pay much attention to what’s going on, just sit back and enjoy the goofy ambition of it all…
Netflix’s DVD B-Movie Mayhem: Amok Train!
Unlike a most people I’ve STILL got the dvd mailers from Netflix coming my way. Let’s face the facts folks most movies online on Netflix watch instantly kinda suck, it’s crazy how many movies I’ve started and never finished on that damn website! So I’ve been combing the DVD version of the site trying to find cool old b-movie movies they’ve got in their ample reserve. Surprisingly I’ve found some decent lil’ gems there, most of said movies have terrible reviews and super duper low star ratings. I’m going to chronicle those here, the first one I’m recommending is a movie from 1989 called “Amok Train” or as it’s also known “Beyond the Door III”. Keep in mind this movie actually has nothing to do with either of the two previous ‘Beyond The Doors’ but even the Amok Train’s title screen calls it ‘Beyond the Door III’ in the actual movie.
Directed by Jeff Kwitny, who only directed four movies, one was the 1988 ski horror flick “Iced” that I now need to see as well. I wasn’t expecting a god damn thing from “Amok Train” to be honest but this movie actually delivered all the glorious 80’s cheez I personally crave on all levels! From it’s start I could tell just from the odd setting alone, as it was shot in Serbia and actually features some stunning locations that it had some promise going forward. The plot follows some American college students who head off on a class trip to Yugoslavia and witness some crazy ass pagan rituals, after traveling on a creepy ferry, which were surprisingly effectively pulled off. After most of the students survive the deadly encounter from the crazed locals they frantically run off into the woods and come across a moving train that’s barreling through the countryside. Of course they are able to just barely hop aboard (most of them at least) to their “safety” and of course that’s where the rest of the flick’s craziness mostly ensues.
I totally dig the setting of “the trapped on a train with evil forces” aspect of this one. The movie moves along at relatively fast pace as well. It’s got it’s fair share of impressive but ridiculous special effects, as well as some of the most idiotic “train out of control” sequences I’ve ever seen out on film. These scenes though, for me at least, enhance this C-level cinematic experience to higher levels of fun as the train seems to have an evil mind of it’s own. It switches course to evil paths on randomly appearing moving “possessed” train tracks. There’s some pretty cool yet cheezed out shit going on here, like the fact the train’s engine suddenly begins feeding on people rather than coal and the train is on a tight schedule to get one of the “virgin” college students on a perverted play date with the devil himself.
There’s also this cool 80’s badass soldier lady that joins the gang on the train who talks a lot of tuff guy shit and a killer scarf..yeah a killer scarf! The cast who’s got a It’s got some good gore also and stars Bo Svenson for anyone who gives a shit. For a flick I had zero expectations for it made for quite a fun evening of tokin’ and boozin’ it up a bit. If you dig obscure horror stuff that’s not on anyone’s radar then seek this out especially if you’re like me and still get pumped when you see that red and white Netflix dvd envelope in your mailbox!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qFodAK-5mo
Camp Hell…Starring Jesse Eisenberg…Kinda…
I am pretty open to watching nearly any horror movie good or bad and I had relatively low expectations for the newly released on DVD film “Camp Hell”. It had some promising elements in it as it took place at a Christian summer camp and supposedly involved demons showing up to wreck havoc on the kids. However that was not quite the case here with this one which also boasted to be based on true events. But first things first, the movies cover has a gigantic picture of Jesse Eisenberg’s (The Social Network, Zombieland) head on the cover and solely his name above the movie’s title. Meaning this one was jam packed with fan favorite Eisenberg……WRONG!!! That’s actually the most funny thing about this movie-he actually only appears in this movie for roughly two god damn minutes! I mean check out this cover below-you can’t possibly get his head any larger on the damn movie cover!
So if you’re a fan of ol’ Jesse you won’t be getting your fix here! But anyway the movie revolves around a boy who’s wacko Christian extremist parents send him off to a wacko Christian extremist camp where the priests there think comic books, rock music, wackin’ off and making out with girls will send you straight to the hot fire pits of Hell! Continue reading
The Technicolor Nightmare Pt. 2: SUPER XUXA VS. SATAN!!!
Anyone who braves through JIMMY, THE BOY WONDER (the subject of Technicolor Nightmare 1) can theoretically tolerate a little singing and dancing. But where JIMMY is creepy as hell, XUXA is cuter than a sugar turd on a neon birthday cake.
SUPER XUXA VS. SATAN (A. Penido, 1988)
(Or SUPER XUXA CONTRA O BAIXO ASTRAL)
Xuxa Meneghel is a bonafide Brazilian superstar whose fame derives from a series of strange family films in the eighties. Some of my male friends have characterized her as “hot”. This film is the copycat little sister to LABYRINTH.
Super Xuxa, blonde and billowing with butt cleavage in a mini jumper, slathers joy like hair mayo everywhere she goes. Continue reading
Jesus Action figure set!
It’s Sunday and once again there seems to be one thing on alot of people’s minds, Jesus! So when I stumbled across this Jesus action figure commercial I had to post it! I am no stranger to Jesus, heck my family used to go to church every sunday until the monsignor stole like $60,000 from the church and was having an affair with one of my wretched teachers! To make matters worse our church’s address number was 666!! That is the truth too check out that link if you think I am shitting you! So obviously something was going on there. Don’t you think that when they decided to build the church there they might maybe, well…..consider picking a different space?! Anway check out this Jesus action figure commercial and have a great sunday!























