Tagged: christian

It’s October & Universal Dork’s Horror Movie Picks Start Today!

Yay it’s October and we all know what that means- Halloween is on the way! So naturally everybody is going bananas over watching some good Horror movies! So here at Universal Dork I am going to give you a bunch of horror movies this month that you need to check out. Yeah Yeah we all love Child’s Play, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Paranormal Activity ect. ect. but let’s say you’re a bit tired of the normal “classics”. Well fear no more people I’ve got a list of some movies you may want to watch instead to get the adrenaline pumpin! So today’s movie is a real nice simple little horror gem from 2007 that many people have missed out on.

“End of the Line” is a cool ass movie that will make you fear crazy ass religious fanatics more than ol’ Michael Meyers or Freddy!
It follows a group of people who end up stuck in a subway shortly after a religious takeover is launched upon the “sinners” of the world by a creepy Christian Tel-evangelist.

This unique Canadian movie is jam packed with some genuinely frightening moments that will surely make you jump from your seat. I loved the plot of this one as it brings to light just how creepy organized religious people can be. If your looking for something original this Halloween season I recommend this great little indie film to kick off the month!

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Camp Hell…Starring Jesse Eisenberg…Kinda…

I am pretty open to watching nearly any horror movie good or bad and I had relatively low expectations for the newly released on DVD film “Camp Hell”. It had some promising elements in it as it took place at a Christian summer camp and supposedly involved demons showing up to wreck havoc on the kids. However that was not quite the case here with this one which also boasted to be based on true events. But first things first, the movies cover has a gigantic picture of Jesse Eisenberg’s (The Social Network, Zombieland) head on the cover and solely his name above the movie’s title. Meaning this one was jam packed with fan favorite Eisenberg……WRONG!!! That’s actually the most funny thing about this movie-he actually only appears in this movie for roughly two god damn minutes! I mean check out this cover below-you can’t possibly get his head any larger on the damn movie cover!

So if you’re a fan of ol’ Jesse you won’t be getting your fix here! But anyway the movie revolves around a boy who’s wacko Christian extremist parents send him off to a wacko Christian extremist camp where the priests there think comic books, rock music, wackin’ off and making out with girls will send you straight to the hot fire pits of Hell! Continue reading

Jesus Action figure set!

It’s Sunday and once again there seems to be one thing on alot of people’s minds, Jesus! So when I stumbled across this Jesus action figure commercial I had to post it! I am no stranger to Jesus, heck my family used to go to church every sunday until the monsignor stole like $60,000 from the church and was having an affair with one of my wretched teachers! To make matters worse our church’s address number was 666!! That is the truth too check out that link if you think I am shitting you!  So obviously something was going on there. Don’t you think that when they decided to build the church there they might maybe, well…..consider picking a different space?! Anway check out this Jesus action figure commercial and have a great sunday!

He-man was the cause of my satanic bahavior!!

I  have been so perplexed my entire life as to how I became so deep into satanism and why my family stopped going to church when I was a kid! But now I have uncovered the TRUTH! I was possessed by satan through…..He-Man & The Masters of the Universe. Finally is has been exposed all those years of playing with those toys and come to find out they were taking over my mind! Satan was speaking to me through Skeletor,  Man-E-Faces and yes even He-Man himself. Wow this explains EVERYTHING. Check it out and soon you’ll realize that you too have been doing Satan’s dirty work all these years especially if you used to play with or watch He-Man!

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