Camp Hell…Starring Jesse Eisenberg…Kinda…

I am pretty open to watching nearly any horror movie good or bad and I had relatively low expectations for the newly released on DVD film “Camp Hell”. It had some promising elements in it as it took place at a Christian summer camp and supposedly involved demons showing up to wreck havoc on the kids. However that was not quite the case here with this one which also boasted to be based on true events. But first things first, the movies cover has a gigantic picture of Jesse Eisenberg’s (The Social Network, Zombieland) head on the cover and solely his name above the movie’s title. Meaning this one was jam packed with fan favorite Eisenberg……WRONG!!! That’s actually the most funny thing about this movie-he actually only appears in this movie for roughly two god damn minutes! I mean check out this cover below-you can’t possibly get his head any larger on the damn movie cover!

So if you’re a fan of ol’ Jesse you won’t be getting your fix here! But anyway the movie revolves around a boy who’s wacko Christian extremist parents send him off to a wacko Christian extremist camp where the priests there think comic books, rock music, wackin’ off and making out with girls will send you straight to the hot fire pits of Hell! Basically things that make life rad are off limits at this summer camp-making it Camp Hell literally! Though the movies name was probably inspired more from the fact that the kids there sometimes go crazy and start seeing “demons” wandering around in the forest.

To be honest I actually kinda enjoyed this movie, as it’s premise is actually pretty intriguing as I have definitely met people who probably have their kids enrolled in weird ass camps like this. But to be honest this movie isn’t much of a horror flick, it’s more so a drama with supernatural events lightly sprinkled on throughout.

The main character, Tommy (Will Denton) NOT Jesse Eisenberg, heads off to this camp where he meets a girl, sneaks off with her into the woods where they make out and he ends up with a premature mess in his pants. This event send the camp’s leader freaky Father Fineas, played by Bruce Davison (X-men), into a frenzy as he tells Tommy his actions have let the devil into his heart. What follows through the rest of the movie however are a lot dead end plot lines that never get resolved and a thoroughly lackluster ending. People, be warned, you’re not going to get any Jesse Eisenberg in this movie and you’re definitely not going to see a bunch of rad demonic monsters terrorizing the deprived sex starved campers. What you will get is good look at some fucked up religious fanatics and their influence on the youth of today. Oh and the music score to this movie was soooo bad combining strange “cool” jazz and a bunch of weird Christian god worship pop songs! I couldn’t help but think though that perhaps the director included these for sheer effect to enhance the experience of this weird ass religious summer retreat…..

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