I’d been curious for a while what was going to happen to everybody’s least favorite Netflix dud superhero series ‘Iron Fist’. Well turns out we’re going to get a sequel to one of the most boring superhero adventures I’ve ever seen! Yeah, Iron Fist season one was truly a challenge to sit through, how the hell they were able to make a superhuman kung fu master with a glowing fist a bore is beyond me. So they’re gonna give this shit another whirl and the fact that they haven’t given up on it all together leads me to believe that they just MUST have some sort of redemption coming for our spoiled lil’ slightly annoying millionaire Danny Rand. Filming is set to begin soon and we’ve even got a new Iron Fist Season 2 promo pic!
I’ll check out the first episode when it hits BUT if things don’t get awesome within the span of that single episode I’m out!! There’s not much revealed thus far except that it’s rumored the incredibly lame “Steel Serpent” will return (whoopdeedoo) and that also the other villain will be a character called Tanya Parker, who’ll become a female assassin character from the pages of Marvel comics. In order for Iron Fist to capture anyone’s attention anymore on Netflix a few things need to happen.
FIRST, As I mentioned earlier the first episode of season two has got to be fucking amazing. Period. If it starts off with some boring ass plot with Danny “Bland” Rand involved in some corporate BS at Rand Enterprises that no one gives a damn about it’s over. They need to start off with a big bang in episode one doing something we haven’t seen before in any of the Marvel Netflix stuff and they need to do it damn quick! No more boring ass shit like this please:
SECOND, the action better be off the rails this time around! I really couldn’t believe just how terrible the martial arts were executed in the first season. For a show who’s main character is a superhuman martial arts prodigy we got some serious boring ass, terribly executed, bland action sequences. This show needs to set the superhuman kung fu dial to eleven and bring us the most insane action sequences we’ve seen on the small screen. They should be taking notes on past movies from the likes of Sammo Hung, Jackie Chan & Tony Jaa, they need to watch ‘The Raid’ the night before filming. Seriously, it’s time to go the distance with Netflix Marvel, they’ve got the budget, so bring in a real kung fu choreographer and amp up the kung fu to crazy new heights. That alone will bring in the fans. A true spectacle is what this show needs badly. Check out this clip and seriously imagine Danny Rand doing some shit like this:
THIRD, I have a truly wild ‘n crazy idea Marvel…..PUT IRON FIST IN HIS DAMN COSTUME! Geezus, Marvel has got a lot to learn, when doing a show about a superhero, don’t be afraid to feature said superhero and his villains in their damn costumes from the comic book! What an idea huh?!!! Danny Rand was pretty damn boring in season one, make the dude a bit more compelling in season two and on top of that, I have an idea what might make him even more interesting-his fucking costume!!! The character will become so much more than some boring rich spoiled white dude if you give him his superhero duds. Even just adding the mask to his look generates a ton of excitement, imagine for a moment a new Netflix Batman series, but in it, Batman doesn’t wear a costume, it’s just Bruce Wayne running around town beating up bad guys in a Lexus he calls “The Batmobile”….are people gonna dig that?
LASTLY, tell a better story, the first season was fucking painful. Waaaay to long. Cut his show down to six or eight episodes tops. Give us a short, sweet action packed kung fu adventure. No more board room meetings and plots involving his lames ass corporation. Go to interesting places, leave the city behind even, I’m kinda tired of the setting of all these shows in New York, It’s getting sorta played out at this point. Let’s see some fantastical shit go down, as his character allows for things to go off the rails a bit more than say Jessica Jones, Cage & Daredevil. This shit isn’t rocket science, watch a couple rad kung flicks to see what will make this show work!!!
What do you think would make Iron Fist an interesting show? Am I way off base here or what? At this point I think I’d rather watch this Iron Fist fan film! Way better kung fu action-seriously.
I’ve been soooo pumped for ‘Cult of Chucky’ ever since the stunning after credits scene of the awesome previous installment ‘Curse of Chucky’ back in 2013. So this week I wasted no time when it was released streaming on Netflix tuesday, the question was it worth the wait for all of us Chucky-fans?!
Overall I’m gonna say it was a pretty compelling sequel, but it for me didn’t quite live up to the full on battle royale I was hoping for between Andy Barclay (yeah the actor kid, Alex Vincent, from the first two movies returns!!) and ol’ Chuck. Once I got past that aspect of the movie, the fact of the matter is that it brings some great new twists and turns to now ongoing epic story of the legendary killer Good Guy doll. I guess in my head I pictured Andy being more of the main focus of this one, finally settling the score once and for all. From the movie’s strong start we get an awesome glimpse into Andy’s world now and how he’s become somewhat of a gun toting, weapon wielding badass (still claiming though he’s all for gun control). I love the opening sequence and it alone has some great surprises that will get your heart a pumpin’.
The majority of the rest of the movie follows ‘Nica’, Charles Lee Ray’s daughter (Fiona Dourif) as she’s imprisoned in a mental institution, brainwashed, believing Chucky isn’t real and in fact she’s the one responsible for the murderous rampage of the last film. Along the way we meet some interesting characters in the psyche ward and of course Jennifer Tilly, who looks totally amazing still somehow by the way, returns to start some major mischief herself! This one’s full of crazy surprises, plot twists and some ultra impressive gory moments. It’s also got it’s fair share of comedy, some of it landing and some it not so much. Chucky looks pretty awesome too and this time around they’ve steered away from using any CG to enhance his movement or face. There are a few dodgy scenes of CG I could have done without and to be quite honest I wasn’t a big fan of the “way too shiny” look of the insane asylum but hey maybe that’s how these places actually look in 2017?
Without spoiling anything I can say there are some great scenes involving Andy and it’s really great have him back for old fans of the franchise, I mean who’d have ever thought we’d see the original actor back again in the role?! I also really love the ending of this movie, at least the new insane development it brings to the table, what the HELL happens next? We’re left with a great cliffhanger, part of me was a bit surprised when the movie ended, it seemed like the finale was really ramping up and then boom it was over, to me a bit too soon. Overall though ‘Cult of Chucky’ shows how a horror franchise can continue on without being given a flimsy forgettable Hollywood remake. It adds a bizarre new chapter to the Child’s Play story with fresh new ideas and surprises a’ plenty-what did you think?!
OH yeah, the Netflix version doesn’t for some reason feature the after credits sequence that’s on the DVD – seek it out if you’re a big fan of the movies, it’s another great scene and return of a classic character from the franchise!!
I highly recommend the brand new Netflix Original movie ‘Little Evil’, especially if you’re already a fan of the modern cult classic ‘Tucker & Dale vs Evil’. It turns out ‘Little Devil’ is the newest & second movie from that very director, Eli Craig. That explains a lot about why the movie’s comedic horror charm is so damn spot on. It’s a great concept that puts a unique spin on The Omen and the “birthing of the antichrist” sub-genre of horror movies. We follow a newly married stepfather (played brilliantly by Adam Scott) as he struggles to bond with his new son Lucas while appearing to be the perfect dad to his new wife (Evangeline Lily).
It doesn’t take long before he notices his new son’s incredibly creepy & bizarre behavior and weird ass style of dressing. Most of the laughs revolve around just how crazy the kid acts while the plot ridiculously thickens as the stepdad slowly begins to accept that his new son is a god damned demon spawn. There are a shitload of memorable scenes here to relish and Craig proves once again he’s one of the best when it comes to horror comedy (damn that goat puppet is awesome!). So many attempt to pull it off usually with mixed results. The movie explores some familiar horror tropes too while adding just the right amount of eye winking to fans of old school horror.
The movie has a ton up and coming comedians & familiar faces (Watch for “Tucker” in an amazing scene) that add to it’s charm, my fave being Clancy Brown as a mysterious priest who you might remember from his role on the incredible cult classic series ‘Carnivale’. The movie’s a helluva good time (no pun intended) and has a ton of heart to it. It’s also got some genuinely creepy moments as well mixed in which is a nice touch, with all the absurdity the movies got going for it already. My only complaint is a minor one, near the final act the movie gets a little bit too cutesy, when I was really hoping they might build upon the terror of the creepy kid that was already brilliantly established. However things go in a bit in way of ‘major Hollywood style feel good comedy’ which I’m not against necessarily but was hoping for something a bit more off beat in the final act. All in all though this one’s a great Netflix original movie that’s filled with something for everyone and a second win (although not quite as good as Tucker & Dale) for director Eli Craig. Check it out!
Seems to me like after the “grand finale” series of the recent shared Marvel Netflix universe show, The Defenders, that Marvel’s lost some serious steam or should I say street cred?! Yeah, final verdict here on The Defenders…weak ass shit! Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t as bad as Iron Fist. BUT seeing the character of Iron Fist in the mix with The Defenders wasn’t really so bad in comparison to his other teammates. I realized that all of the shows are a bit stale when you take a step back and look at them. They all drag on too damn long and when they hit that lull they’re incredibly tedious, every now and again they’ve got their shining moments but they’re few & far between. I was initially pumped for a lean 8 episode, no BS Defenders series, however even 8 episodes felt a bit like a chore to sit through at times!
I wasn’t very impressed with The Defenders, as a longtime comic fan I think of all the ways the show should’ve been amazing and all the ways it was a bit of a let down. I’m tiring of the whole “uninteresting drama, for the sake of drama” these shows fill themselves with. I mean, does anyone really give a flying fuck about Foggy & Karen Page while they whine & worry over Matt Murdock’s Daredevil escapades anymore?! Was anyone captivated by Elektra & Matt Murdock’s “passionate” romance in the last season of Daredevil and this new Defenders series?! We certainly don’t feel anything real for Danny Rand & Colleen Wing! What about Luke Cage and Jessica Jones’ supposed “love connection” anyone care about that? The whole “Jessica Jones is an alcoholic thing” is so by the numbers that every time she takes a drink I feel like rolling my eyes. Uggh it’s just all feeling a little plastic, this cookie cutter drama factor they keep trying to push, it’s just not very interesting. It takes up a LOT of the actual run time of these series.
Well how about the action? Aside from that hallway fight early on in the first Daredevil season I’m not feelin’ that these shows are setting any new action trends. The way I see it these shows should have really upped the ante in the way of action, especially when it comes to superhuman kung fu!! I’m thinking they should’ve been taking notes from movies like “Big Trouble in Little China” & mashing it up with say the likes of Tony Jaa’s “The Protector”. Compare The Defenders for a moment to something that is actually awesome like the movies I just mentioned. Take a moment and imagine if they would’ve slapped a blonde wig on Tony and had him do the action sequences for Iron Fist or even Daredevil, the Marvel shows should be striving to top action sequences like this one here:
Instead we get some seriously bland kung fu by people who’re supposedly superhuman heroes and villains. Heck imagine at the very least if Danny Rand was breaking bones left and right and seriously fucking people up with that iron fist? How much would that alone have changed the dynamic of things? The shows so far range from decent to barely passable, but they should be a serious spectacle to behold visually at the very least. Instead these shows are kinda lazy, no one’s willing to push the boundaries to give us something we wanna watch again and again. I enjoyed the first season of of Jessica Jones & Luke Cage….BUT…do I every really wanna revisit them? Honestly no. Do I wanna revisit say “Stranger Things”? Hell yeah!
I watched one of the latest ‘Game of Thrones’ episodes right before I started The Defenders. Not a good idea, The Defenders ended up feeling pretty cheap, the acting, action, even the sets felt very “made for TV”. Marvel’s got to make a few changes to it’s Netflix stuff. We need more inventive story telling, plot twists, better writing in general, far better action, actual interesting villains & more damn costumes!! Yeah put Iron Fist in his damn costume, that would at least make shit more fun. Give us some classic super powered villains rather than a gang of blah “bosses” and a bunch of faceless drone fighters for our heroes to do mediocre made for tv kung fu street fighting with. The time has come to start remembering where the roots of this shit came from, the comic books! Take notes on what made the last Wolverine movie “Logan” so good and give the fans what they really want!! I don’t have time to waste on more mediocre media Marvel, so get your shit together!
Here’s yet another entry for all you folks out there who STILL get dvds in the mail from Netflix! I know there aren’t all that many of us left these days, but I’m the type of guy who still thinks dvds are the bees knees! Yeah!! So what of it?!! Don’t get me wrong, I still stream stuff on the online Neflix site but let’s be honest most of that shit SUCKS – Hence why I’ve been combing the dvd Neflix library for lost gems!
Good news folks, I found another gem in their vast sea of aging dvds, this time we’re looking at a movie from Hong Kong from way back in 1987: EVIL CAT. I’m not quite sure how I stumbled upon this cool ass little Chinese horror movie but I’m glad I did cuz it was a ton o’ fun! This crazy ass little movie is jam packed with quirk, 80’s electricity and frantic action sequences, basically everything I dig about the 80’s. Director Dennis Yu brings the fun and amps up some seriously ridiculous shit as we follow the exploits of an evil cat spirit (who’da thunk huh?) that’s released from it’s ancient sealed tomb by a construction crew & unleashed upon Hong Kong in the late 80’s.
The movie moves at brisk pace too, the evil cat spirit moves from body to body kinda like that Denzel Washington movie ‘Fallen’ if it was more of a spastic colorful horror romp. It’s actually pretty damn funny when the spirit possesses people, they start acting like wild feral cats growling and scratching like maniacs. It’s pretty cool to see these actors go for it and go pretty far over the top with their possessions.
The evil cat spirit however has problems of it’s own though as we learn over centuries one family has been hunting it and keeping it in check over generations. In the 1980’s there’s an old badass dude from that bloodline who’s dying from cancer who pulls out the old magic bow & arrows from storage to put a stop to the feline madness himself. There’s some sweet plot twists here, crazy characters & some surprising gore that pops in out of nowhere from time to time. The movie never really drags and wears it’s 80’s influences firmly on it’s sleeve. You get a pretty damn fine representation of what Hong Kong was like in the 1980’s, filled with neon and great 80’s fashion. It’s clear if you’re looking for more great crazy cinema from that era, there’s a treasure trove of movies waiting to be discovered from Hong Kong studios.
Evil Cat is definitely worth tracking down and the finale is pretty cool especially when the evil cat possesses a woman who’s nearly as unstoppable as the Terminator! The actual cat spirit is portrayed several times as cool hand drawn animation & then as basically a female cat “creature” pulled from the broadway musical “Cats”.
So while there were several aspects of the movie that could have been done better it was still an incredibly inspired 80’s effort to witness for the first time with no expectations. Also if you’re a fan of kung fu there’s some cool crazy showdowns and plenty of humor thrown into the mix. Some if it being likely being due to some shoddy subtitles and translations that just add more charm to the viewing experience. Track down EVIL CAT or if you still have a Netflix dvd account then throw it into you’re queue!!
People seem to tell themselves that they love the Netflix streaming stuff, but I’m here to say if you’re a movie maniac like myself, then you’re missing out a bit if you’ve stopped with the dvd mailing package that everyone used to have. Yep, I still get those red and white envelopes in the mail and continue to comb the Netflix dvd library for some lost gems. When I say these are “lost gems” I’m saying it with love for flicks with that 70’s and 80’s charm that I simply adore so damn much. This is a fun one to add to your Queue..
So I recently checked out a movie from 1989 called ‘Night Visitor’ which is part raunchy teen comedy mixed with a bit of “suspenseful” horror cheez. I’d always remembered the vhs cover artwork for this movie and was pleasantly surprised at how well it delivered the goods albeit, it’s ridiculous manner. I guess one of the draws for the movie was Shannon Tweed’s inclusion as the ultra sexy single next door neighbor lady. She’s pretty well known for her “erotic” thrillers of the 80’s and 90’s and also as Gene Simmons of Kiss’ longtime lover. Of course in the 80’s where there’s a sexy neighbor there’s sure to be some horny teenager spying ala “Rear Window” style on her. That’s the main premise of this one. Teen prankster/known bull shit artist, Billy, is ecstatic to find out Tweed has moved in as his new neighbor and he can’t stop spyin’ on her through his bedroom window. Yeah he’s got a reputation and he’s got troubles at school particularly with history teacher who’s fed up with his cocky demeanor & lames excuses for being continuously late to class.
Things turn into risky biz as it seems Tweed’s just fine with his new hobby as she flirts nightly with Billy through her bedroom window letting him in on her sessions of passion. Of course though if things just seem too good to be true they likely are for a horny teen in the 1980’s – Things take a dark and “dangerous” turn when one night he witnesses her get killed by a creepy robed slasher dude in a demonic mask! In the midst of the mayhem he learns the slasher’s actually his naggin’ pain in the ass history teacher, played by Allen Garfield, who here, oddly creepily resembles the crazy conspiracy theorist Alex Jones! Of course Billy’s shocked (and a bit bummed out) by this cuz his new perverted pastime comes to a sudden halt and even worse that no one believes his crazy ass story.
It seems to take some plot points from the far superior ‘Fright Night’ but Night Visitor still manages to provide some cheezball 80’s fun as we follow Billy’s elaborate plan to foil his deranged teacher’s path of destruction. It’s a decent yet ridiculous little horror movie that also features Elliot Gould in the “Peter Vincent” sorta role to team up with the teen hero. Night Visitor is definitely worth a watch if you’re down for some good C-level horror/thriller/erotic action with those 80’s genre tropes mashed up for good measure. It’s a fun “nobody believes me/everyone thinks I’m crazy when I’m not” flick. I oddly never seem to tire of that narrative and also really dig the whole “student vs his crazy teacher” plot line this one’s got going. Of course too I won’t lie, also back in the day I really didn’t mind when Shannon Tweed showed up in a movie and I still don’t! Check this out for some rather ridiculous fun and if you’re at all curious what it’d be like if Alex Jones taught at your high school, worshipped Satan and was hellbent on killin’ your ass!!
***This one was also known as ‘Never Cry Devil’
Unlike a most people I’ve STILL got the dvd mailers from Netflix coming my way. Let’s face the facts folks most movies online on Netflix watch instantly kinda suck, it’s crazy how many movies I’ve started and never finished on that damn website! So I’ve been combing the DVD version of the site trying to find cool old b-movie movies they’ve got in their ample reserve. Surprisingly I’ve found some decent lil’ gems there, most of said movies have terrible reviews and super duper low star ratings. I’m going to chronicle those here, the first one I’m recommending is a movie from 1989 called “Amok Train” or as it’s also known “Beyond the Door III”. Keep in mind this movie actually has nothing to do with either of the two previous ‘Beyond The Doors’ but even the Amok Train’s title screen calls it ‘Beyond the Door III’ in the actual movie.
Directed by Jeff Kwitny, who only directed four movies, one was the 1988 ski horror flick “Iced” that I now need to see as well. I wasn’t expecting a god damn thing from “Amok Train” to be honest but this movie actually delivered all the glorious 80’s cheez I personally crave on all levels! From it’s start I could tell just from the odd setting alone, as it was shot in Serbia and actually features some stunning locations that it had some promise going forward. The plot follows some American college students who head off on a class trip to Yugoslavia and witness some crazy ass pagan rituals, after traveling on a creepy ferry, which were surprisingly effectively pulled off. After most of the students survive the deadly encounter from the crazed locals they frantically run off into the woods and come across a moving train that’s barreling through the countryside. Of course they are able to just barely hop aboard (most of them at least) to their “safety” and of course that’s where the rest of the flick’s craziness mostly ensues.
I totally dig the setting of “the trapped on a train with evil forces” aspect of this one. The movie moves along at relatively fast pace as well. It’s got it’s fair share of impressive but ridiculous special effects, as well as some of the most idiotic “train out of control” sequences I’ve ever seen out on film. These scenes though, for me at least, enhance this C-level cinematic experience to higher levels of fun as the train seems to have an evil mind of it’s own. It switches course to evil paths on randomly appearing moving “possessed” train tracks. There’s some pretty cool yet cheezed out shit going on here, like the fact the train’s engine suddenly begins feeding on people rather than coal and the train is on a tight schedule to get one of the “virgin” college students on a perverted play date with the devil himself.
There’s also this cool 80’s badass soldier lady that joins the gang on the train who talks a lot of tuff guy shit and a killer scarf..yeah a killer scarf! The cast who’s got a It’s got some good gore also and stars Bo Svenson for anyone who gives a shit. For a flick I had zero expectations for it made for quite a fun evening of tokin’ and boozin’ it up a bit. If you dig obscure horror stuff that’s not on anyone’s radar then seek this out especially if you’re like me and still get pumped when you see that red and white Netflix dvd envelope in your mailbox!!