Tagged: 3

VHS Verdict: 1995’s ‘Children of the Corn 3: Urban Harvest’….is Awesome?!

I’ve been burning through a stack of late 80’s/90’s VHS tapes lately I scored and while there’ve been a lot of stinkers in the lot there’ve been a few I’ve been quite pleasantly surprised about! I found the first five of the ‘Children of the Corn’ movies and I’d never actually watched any of the sequels so I thought what the fuck? Well the second movie was pretty much a total bore and I’d figured they’d likely just get more dull with each installment. Boy was I wrong!

Yep! ‘Children of the Corn Part 3: Urban Harvest’ is now one of my favorite sequel horror flicks! This movie’s a ton of seriously fun horror schlock. It’s premise is awesome too, we’ve got a couple weird-ass ‘Children of the Corn’ who get adopted and move from the bloody cornfields of Nebraska to the urban streets of Chicago. Their new parents are a couple of yuppies who’re stoked to have two new amish kids of their own. But little do they know one of them has some weird ass supernatural abilities and a one track mind for planting a new crop of corn right there in the city. Things quickly get awesome as their sent off on their ‘first day’ of class at a diverse inner city school and have to fend for themselves as everyone makes fun of their weird clothes and equally odd mannerisms.

Well the new setting seems to be a good one for one of the ‘Corn kids’, soon the older of the two is dressing like he’s the coolest new dude on the block and quickly discovering he’s got a fav new interest that quickly replaces corn: girls!! This new style doesn’t sit well with the younger ‘corn obsessed’ brother and soon he goes on a mission to find a vacant lot to plant some new evil corn, hell his yuppie stepdad even tries to get in on the corn action too. He find’s his stepson’s new utterly incredibly delicious crop of corn flourishing in some shitty soil in a vacant lot between two crumbling warehouses and immediately sees dollar signs! Yeah, he eagerly talks to his new kid about selling out his new breed of corn to a big corporation so it can be eaten all over the world. Naturally the evil kid’s elated and then moves on to convince the local gang bangers and school bullies to start listening to his crazy corn sermons! Soon their all hooked on his schtick and it’s up to his older, newly hipper, formerly amish brother to put and end to his evil plan.

This one never lags, it’s pretty much non stop fun and is chock full of stupid dialogue and some seriously awesome old school horror. I was totally surprised to at how bad ass the special effects are here too, come to find out Screaming Mad George (Predator/The Abyss/Curse II: The Bite) is responsible for the onscreen awesomeness. There’s a bunch of super unique kills, living killer corn, evil scarecrows, corn zombies & even an awesome giant monster at the end!! I was certain being it was ’95 we’d likely have some shitty ass CGI in the mix but instead we get George’s incredible practical fx work. Even the giant monster is a blend of animatronics and stop motion animation and the movie never stops charming the pants off of an old school horror hound. I love these surprisingly well done sequels that are many times completely overlooked by most. The ‘Urban Harvest’ is super action packed, fun filled horror flick, the kind most these days continuously try and replicate. I like how this one appears to be totally trying to play it’s ridiculous plot totally straight, It’s a true gem that’s been lost in the corn field for far too long!! Check this shit out!!

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VHS Verdict: Ray Parker Jr. Kicks Ass in “Enemy Territory”!

First off today I’ve gotta say, I’m so tired of the new Ghostbusters movie rumors, the latest being that there’s a new all male version of the franchise that was announced in the last day or two. So we we now have two reboot Ghostbusters flicks coming our way and you know what? Who really gives a shit?! This whole new Ghostbusting movie thing has been going on for far, far too long, with the original cast, then no Bill Murray, on again off again, it’s happening, no it’s not, female cast, male cast, expanded Avengers universe treatment, blah blah blah-enuff already! Now onto something Ghostbusters related that actually kicks ass!!

I sat down a few nights ago to check out my recently acquired VHS “Enemy Territory” a rad movie back from the 1980’s(when you might have been able to really get people pumped about another Ghostbusters flick!) that I’ve never seen before. It’s star power being the man who made the Ghostbusters theme song a bonafide hit back in 1984- Ray Parker Jr.!!

This movie was such a damn pleasure to watch that it had me grinning from ear to ear the moment it started, perfectly bumpin’ with some totally def 80’s hip hop as we meet our movies main characters. We also see a few other cool things, Charles Band (the king of cheezy 80’s horror flicks/ Full Moon) produced this one, and Peter Manoogian who directed such awesome 80’s “so bad it’s amazing” flicks Dungeonmaster, Eliminators & Arena! So this was bound to be a good one, and it was. In 87′ this one flew pretty low under the radar and that’s a shame as this one is a total crowd pleaser for anyone who loves the 1980’s as much as I do.

This one is like a 1980’s version of “The Raid” or the more recent “Dredd” but full of comedy and goofy as characters. It tells the story of a schlubby life insurance agent, a lame white guy played by Gary Frank who heads off into the rough part of town late one night to get an elderly woman to sign off on a policy. He has to head into a super duper dodgy apartment complex, travel all the way to the top floor, the only problem is that the building is “owned” by a crazy ass street gang called “The Vampires” headed by a bad ass to the bone Tony “Candyman” Todd in one of my fav roles of his.

Yeah Gary Frank get’s into an altercation with one of the Vamps on the way up the elevator and soon all muthafukin’ hell breaks loose on this cowardly guy! Well lucky for him telephone repair man, played Ray Parker Jr. is there to save his ass! The movie’s a nonstop great time, filled with great action, over the top villains and even a crippled ally in a wheelchair that’s equipped with welded shotguns!

It’s a race for survival as Ray Parker Jr. kicks some serious  gang ass while trying to make it from the top floor to “safety” on the streets. This one’s not real keen on being PC but it’s a serious ton of 80’s fun, a true lost gem! Seek this one out and watch with friends and plenty o’ booze asap!!

Origin II: Is Wolverine’s Past Worth Telling Anymore?

Well I just finished reading issue number 2 of Origin II, which continues the legendary unknown history of Marvel’s most valuable asset, Wolverine. Continuing the story of James Logan Howlett from the popular Origin series from 2001, Origin II just doesn’t feel like anything particularly special to me. Hell we could have skipped all the hype and just put this story into one of the regular Wolverine books out there today and it would have felt thus far like pretty typical Wolverine fare.

It’s common knowledge that Wolverine is in far too many comics these days. Honestly I’ve been pretty burnt out on the overuse of the character for quite some time now. I really kinda miss the old days where there was The Uncanny X-men and one solo Wolverine comic. Plain and simple. However as we all know everything these days is about making a buck, and not really putting out quality stories. So we get so much Wolverine crammed down our throats that it begins to make us nauseous.

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Well the “long awaited” Origin II tells us more of our favorite berserker’s secretive past in the 19th century. It started out with issue #1 where Wolverine is living with the wolves, because we all know he doesn’t fit in the world of man. So naturally he decides that hanging out in a wolf pack is clearly the answer to all of his problems. As we all know tragedy always follows Logan, and a huge polar bear wandering far from his normal habitat slaughters all of Wolvies “wolf” friends.

So of course he gets his revenge on the polar bear and fights it to the death. He wins, kills said polar bear which takes us to issue #2. Here the story unfolds even more, as we find out that the polar bear was actually owned by a young Dr. Essex (a young Mister Sinister), who at first I thought was Doctor Strange, is determined to capture the killer of his beast. So naturally we get the man for the job, a younger Sabretooth (duh, of course this is a Wolverine comic) to help track down the beast responsible. Hence Wolverine is captured and ends up in a circus freak show. Yeah the misunderstood man beast of course is back in full effect. I guess it’s cool that we get a a pre Mister Sinister meeting Wolverine for the first time?

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Now maybe this story is on it’s way to big, big things? I may have to eat my words. It seems everyone has to put their two cents worth into Logans “mysterious” past these days, I mean let’s not forget about the whole “Romulus” mess that was created. It really feels like people just make all this stuff up as they go. It all feels a little too hokey, predictable and issue #2 features some rather sloppy, rushed looking artwork from Adam Kubert. maybe he put all of his effort into the first issue?

I’m really paying close attention to books lately that deliver on all levels these days with strong inspired ideas and artwork. They’re out there, but at 4 bucks a pop finding them can be tricky and costly. It seems that the panels are getting bigger every month too, so you’re getting far far less real content for your money these days. A comic book these days takes less than ten minutes to read. So what to do with the heroes you love? Where do you turn? Has Wolverine’s charm and appeal run it’s course? Is his secret history really all that alluring anymore? Hell does anyone really care? I’m  really not sure I’ll be shelling out 4 bones for Origin II #3 next month, I think I might try something new instead…

Universal Dork’s Rad New Comic Book Picks!

It’s tough sometimes finding cool new comic books to check out! Sometimes (more often lately it seems) the two big cheezes, Marvel & DC just don’t float my boat! It’s a shame because I’m a superhero guy at heart and not getting that fix can certainly be depressing. So these days with somewhat limited resources I’ve been picking up a few cool new and ongoing titles that thus far seem real promising! So here’s a few that I’ve been diggin’ lately:

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Manifest Destiny (Image/Skybound): The third issue of this series just dropped this week and so far it’s a ton of fun! It’s a period piece retelling the expedition of Lewis & Clark with a even more adventure and yeah some creepy run ins with native monsters! They inject some great horror into this historical journey and have created some memorable characters to boot. The artwork too is pretty damn impressive as well and thus far I’m fully on board, I think this could quite possibly fill the void in my life that The Walking Dead has left with it’s recent more & more tired storytelling. Check it out!

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Curse (Boom! Studios): Just picked up the first issue of this cool (so far) horror comic! It’s being called a werewolf story, but I’m still guessing it could be based on the Wendigo mythology. We’ll see I guess. Either way it’s got some fantastic gritty artwork and an intriguing story about a down on his luck single father who decides to try to collect reward money by hunting down a killer in the woods to pay for his dying sons doctor bills. What he encounters is even more than he originally bargained for! So far this four issue limited series looks totally promising!

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B.P.R.D. Hell on Earth (Dark Horse): This comic book is probably my favorite these days and has really compelled me to go back and collect all the trades to read from start to finish. The recent story line is as always jam packed with monsters and as always incredibly unique art. Issue #115 find the BPRD teaming up with Russian Special Science Services (the Russian version of BPRD) as they travel on foot through a desolated Manhattan landscape looking for survivors of a recent Monster attack on the city and the cause of it all. This current arc is awesome and we’ve now finally got Liz Sherman back ready to kick monster ass with her recently renewed fire power! I only hope that Abe Sapien makes his way back to the team! If you don’t read this series you’re missing out!

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Guerrillas (Oni Press): This series isn’t new, but it’s new to me and I love it so far! Written and fantastically drawn by Brahm Revel this kick ass little adventure set in the Vietnam War follows Private John Francis Clayton on his first tour of duty. Unsure of himself and deathly afraid of combat finds himself alone in the jungles after his platoon is slaughtered by the enemy. It’s not long though until he runs into a strange platoon of chain smoking chimps armed for combat dressed in full on army fatigues. Sounds almost like a comedy? Not chance this one is played out serious and the story becomes more intriguing with every turn of the page. Thus far there’s two trades out and they’re a hell of a lot of fun. Right now Mr. Revel is working on Marvel Knights: X-men which so far is great. However he told me himself that we can expect the next chapter of Guerrillas to unfold in 2014! So check it out before the third act hits!

Star Trek: Less Action Please!!

I’ve been thinking about for it for quite some time now and I’ve just GOT to say it: Current Star Trek has way too much damn action! After watching the most recent “Star Trek: Into Darkness” I realized that the franchise is going in the wrong direction. No, I won’t deny that JJ nailed it on the first Star Trek he directed, it was fun, action packed and nostalgic. However the lackluster sequel where he tried to recreate the whole Khan storyline was not necessary to us Trekkers! We had two previous installments (Space Seed and The Wrath of Khan) which simply cannot be touched. It was a loud mess of story with a decent villain but who unfortunately just wasn’t seen as the legendary Khan in the eyes of Star Trek fans. I felt it was such a disappointment that I am actually glad that Abrams is leaving the franchise.

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Yep, I realized that this current “Star Trek” doesn’t really represent real spirit of Star Trek. It’s so jam packed with wild explosions, glitter and insane action sequences that it is missing what really made Trek so intriguing in the first place. A good solid story. Nope we didn’t get crazy effects heavy action, we got good sci-fi about traveling the universe looking for new alien civilizations, beaming down to unknown planets, exploration and strong bonds that slowly grew within the crew in the process. it wasn’t about being flashy, it was the perfect blend of action, story and adventure. I’d like to see the next movie be a more intelligent plot driven adventure of discovering new worlds and the the unknown threats or challenges that are waiting on the planet’s surface.You know like a star trek should be…

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Let’s not try and modernize an old story or try to redesign an old villain with a “cool factor”. Give us a good story without all the pointless hyperactive action- this is Star Trek not The Fast and the Furious! “Into Darkness” really made me miss the spirit of the old shows and movies. I think Abrams did a great job of kick starting a franchise and making it “cool again” for the kids but as we continue this journey let’s remember that all that glitters is not necessarily gold, let’s remember what made Star Trek great in the first place. Star Trek was never broken, its crew just got old and eventually retired, let’s remember even in their younger days they were never concerned about being hip and cool for the kids, they were there to explore the final frontier! Give us some good ol’ fashioned science fiction dammit! You remember episodes like “City on the Edge of Forever”? “Mirror Mirror”? “Arena”? “The Naked Time”?! The Savage Curtain”? Well if not maybe all you Trek fans should go back and revisit the classics, the foundation of it all.  Who do you think would be a good choice to helm the next movie?! Do you think Star Trek is on the right path?

Planet Hulk Movie is a No Go! Where to go with The Movie Hulk?

I’ve just read via Ain’t it Cool News that supposedly there are NO plans to bring the Planet Hulk story to the big screen. As much as I enjoyed Planet Hulk, the idea of this being a big Hollywood blockbuster movie really didn’t excite me all that much. First I had wondered how they would pull this off with Ruffalo, as Marvel has recently stated they were concerned that Planet Hulk was missing one key ingredient for big screen success….Bruce Banner!

Yeah as cool as it may have been for this Hulk story to be told if, I remember correctly Banner only appeared in Planet Hulk for a brief moment in a small side story which perhaps showed up in an annual of some sorts during that time. I do wonder why Marvel would have to have a Banner-less Planet Hulk? They’ve changed a lot in the movies from their comic origins so why couldn’t Banner co-exist with The Hulk in the big screen version? Perhaps they just don’t want to waste the time of having to make Hulk a menace to the world on screen? He seems to be working out nicely right now in the books as an Avenger and an agent of SHIELD.

So for a second though let’s imagine Marvel did indeed want to make Planet Hulk a reality, following the comic book storyline strictly. What we would have on our hands would be an entirely CG, animated movie. We all know that the big Hollywood studios rarely use live sets anymore especially for an alien world, we all know that they refuse to use any practical effects or make up to bring The Hulk to life, we all know in big Hollywood movies that aliens are 99.9% of the time entirely CG creations and since we have him teaming up with aliens in the movie there would be no use for any real on screen actors. We would have some big name actors voicing. This really leaves nothing for Ruffalo in that storyline. So to me it would be like a PIXAR flick. That could be cool, but it’s not what Avengers and Hulk fans want at the end of the day. So where does this leave the poor Hulk?

Perhaps he’s better as a team player? Perhaps the Hulk doesn’t work the way he did back in the 70’s when Bixby and Ferrigno brought him to life on TV weekly. If they do bring another Hulk movie it’s going to need a lot of Ruffalo/Banner and smaller doses of the Hulk. I personally would love a simpler classic Hulk approach to a movie. Give me The Leader as the Mastermind, throw in some henchmen like the U-foes, Half-life or the Bi-Beast and give us She-Hulk plus Doc Samson and let’s get down to business of some good smashing the old school way! What do you think should happen with the Hulk on the big screen? Should he just stay a team player? Should he have another shot at a solo film? What story would you like to see brought to life?

Did ‘INDESTRUCTIBLE HULK #1’ Satisfy My Gamma Cravings?

There’s a lot of hype surrounding Marvel NOW! titles that we are finally seeing hit the shelves. Being a big fan of The Incredible Hulk
I was curious about this new title, as honestly it’s been quite a while since I have read a new Hulk comic I really dug. So here we have it today, hot off the presses, Indestructible Hulk #1!

So first I have to admit, I am not a fan of Leinil Yu’s art. So naturally knowing he was illustrating the book wasn’t exactly an exciting thing for me. However, it’s The Hulk we speak of here so I decided to let go of any preconceived notions I may have had about disliking the art. I have to say though, I wasn’t ecstatic about what I saw, I will admit the artwork was at the very least sufficient. What I really mean is that I can live with it. So onto the story Continue reading