Tagged: church

VHS Verdict: ‘The Unholy’ Brings Those Pesky 80’s Demons to Church!

Here we have a rather rare VHS I ran across recently while doing some major thrift store shopping up in the north woods of Wisconsin! The Unholy is a pretty neat-o piece of 1980’s demon church cheeze! This is the kind of movie I really enjoy stumbling across.

The Unholy was released in 1988 and tells the story of a Father Michael (Ben Cross) who’s appointed to a church in New Orleans where two priests where murdered two years before. The movie’s pretty dang fun over all, giving you a ton weird ass 80’s goth night club types who perform violent looking mock rituals while the priest investigates the scenes in the New Orleans cult underground. If you’re intrigued by the over the top fashion and nightlife of the 1980’s you’ll dig this.

Of course Father Michael’s going to be ‘tempted’ by some rather ‘unholy’ racy, 80’s style, sexy situations by this demonic force running amuck. Yep this powerful sexy demon goes by the name “Desederious” and spends most of the time trying to seduce Father to the side of the Devil. Too bad Father Michael, despite being a priest doesn’t believe in demons or the Devil!

Ok now this is some scary shit.

Well it doesn’t take long before his mind is changed once weird shit begins occurring around the church! This one does drag a bit during the middle with a bit too much jibber jabber going on that quite honestly I could give two shits about. I mean c’mon let’s get on with this shit and have a demon battle already! Well thankfully the third act of this movie is pretty satisfying as a fan of 80’s monster movies this one gets pretty good once Desederious shows her true form and Father Michael loses his sex drive pretty damn quickly!

Yep we get some pretty fun little pesky mini demon minions running around and Desederious looks pretty ridiculously awesome in her true demon form running around on all fours. I mean if I saw that fucking weird ass thing appear in a dark alley I’d most definitely run for the hills while peeing my pants!

‘The Unholy’ has a pretty decent cast, we even see Ned Beatty show up here, we get some fun as hell classic special effects and sweet 80’s fashion. if you can get through about 25 minutes of rather boring dialogue in the middle the third and final act will surely deliver the goods!! Seek this one out if you can and if you’re a true fan of C-movie 80’s horror!

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Camp Hell…Starring Jesse Eisenberg…Kinda…

I am pretty open to watching nearly any horror movie good or bad and I had relatively low expectations for the newly released on DVD film “Camp Hell”. It had some promising elements in it as it took place at a Christian summer camp and supposedly involved demons showing up to wreck havoc on the kids. However that was not quite the case here with this one which also boasted to be based on true events. But first things first, the movies cover has a gigantic picture of Jesse Eisenberg’s (The Social Network, Zombieland) head on the cover and solely his name above the movie’s title. Meaning this one was jam packed with fan favorite Eisenberg……WRONG!!! That’s actually the most funny thing about this movie-he actually only appears in this movie for roughly two god damn minutes! I mean check out this cover below-you can’t possibly get his head any larger on the damn movie cover!

So if you’re a fan of ol’ Jesse you won’t be getting your fix here! But anyway the movie revolves around a boy who’s wacko Christian extremist parents send him off to a wacko Christian extremist camp where the priests there think comic books, rock music, wackin’ off and making out with girls will send you straight to the hot fire pits of Hell! Continue reading