Tagged: naked

VHS Verdict: Maria Ford is an ANGEL OF DESTRUCTION!

Jennifer Lawrence for some reason appears to think she’s the world’s first female action star but there’s a treasure trove of lady badasses in cinema throughout the years to behold. Specifically Maria Ford in 1994’s highly underrated & essentially forgotten ass kicker ‘Angel of Destruction’. Ford goes full Jean Claude Van Damme here and it’s a riot as she beats the holy hell out of a plethora of low IQ (no offense if you have a low IQ, I certainly have one) meatheads (If you’re a meathead though too bad) hellbent on either killing her, mansplaining her or trying to pathetically get in her drawers.

Last time I saw Maria Ford was in ‘The Unnamable 2’ a sweet “better than the original” horror sequel from 1992, where she spends most of her time completely nude. Well she continues the tradition here, as she’s in her birthday suit quite a bit and even manages to beat down a gang of home invaders while donning only her g-string. Angel of Destruction is a fast paced, fairly idiotic actioner that’s a great schlocky time from ‘New Horizons Home Video’. Maria stars as a “tuff as nails cop” who’s sister is murdered by a deranged military vet-turned serial killer, obsessed with killing mob bosses, rockstars & random women, whom he role plays with as his “brides on a wedding night” and then murders them for his twisted kicks. When Maria’s sister becomes his next victim she jumps on the killer’s trail in a whirlwind of rage and teams up with her hunky detective boyfriend to kick and blast their way to ultimate justice.


The weirdo serial killer next targets an “on the rise” female pop singer, who’s hoping her latest music video (in which she performs entirely topless?!) will make her the next Samantha Fox and put her on MTV map to super-stardom. Guess that’s an interesting strategy?

Ford takes the job as the singers personal bodyguard to protect her and her voluptuous lady lover from the skeezy serial killer AND her disgusting Harvey Weinstien-esque manager. There’s some wildly entertaining fight sequences filled with broken tables, broken bottles, busted up chairs, roundhouse kicks, bar room brawls with big dumb bone-heads to get fully immersed in.

I really dig Maria’s performance here too, she’s easily the brightest bulb in a cast made up almost entirely of morons. The plot’s a lot of legit dumb fun and of course Ford is hott as hell and fully able to be quite convincing when giving a mad beatdown to dudes three times her bodyweight. There’s a cool showdown too and Maria gets to go the distance against the big baddie for the most part all by her lonesome.

I’m very curious if she delved into anymore cool sexy full on action flicks?! If so I’m game for more sweet 90s cheez! Someone wise up and give ‘Angel of Destruction’ a fancy blu ray already-Maria is a cult ballbuster here just waiting for a bigger audience

 

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Comic Cover of the Week: Banner’s Haunting Hulking 1980’s Fever Dream!

One of the most unique comic book covers the Jade Giant ever received has got to be from The Incredible Hulk #294, way back in April of 1983. I love the covers from this period, as you never quite knew what to expect, sometimes covers would be hand painted, or sometimes even photographs. It was all quite unpredictable in the best way possible. Today the slick artwork done completely via computer can be initially quite stunning but can also have a sterile feel to it and the weird glossy “paper(?)” they’re printed on doesn’t help give them any extra charm. Issue #294 though is what comic book covers are all about, painted brilliantly by Ken Steacy. This issue also features the wild moment, of Bruce transforming into The Incredible Hulk COMPLETELY naked while lathering up in the shower! Check that out right HERE! This is all just a couple more reasons why I miss the 1980’s so damn much…

Odd Moments in Comic Book History: Incredible Naked Angry Showering HULK!!

I love those weird ass moments in comic book history that catch you by surprise (especially as a kid) and kinda make you chuckle! Today I wanted to add an odd moment from The Incredible Hulk #294, this was back when the Banner could “control” the Hulk and he dressed like banner and even combed his hair the same way. The most nerdy version of the green goliath off all time for sure. I love it. Well this Banner Hulk didn’t last long soon he would lose total control again only to be banished to a different dimension by Doctor Strange. But I digress, well in this issue they are doing some gamma tests on an injured dog and at first the testing appears to have some nice results. After Banner decides to take a nice hot shower, only problem is he’s been having some intense nightmares lately. The over tired Banner starts having a waking nightmare and well, in mid shower transforms into a very naked but squeaky clean Hulk!! Good thing for well placed shower steam! Right after this happens he squares off against Boomerang, a truly classic story line well worth revisiting and of course wonderfully drawn by perhaps the best Hulk artist of all time Sal Buscema!!

Sorry Ladies & Gay men all over the planet you’ll have to keep on wondering about the Hulk’s other incredible big green asset!

Comic Book Cover of the Week: She-Hulk’s Racey 80’s Centerfold!

This particular cover for Fantastic Four # 275 has always been a total favorite of mine! In fact when the Thing left the Fantastic Four back in the early 1980’s I was at first super pissed! But then he got his solo book which ended up being one of my favorite titles as a kid and I was totally thrilled when the FF got their replacement for The Thing- The Sensational She-Hulk!! The Hulk was my all time favorite superhero so of course I was always totally crazy (and a bit crushed out on) about She-Hulk! So apparently was John Byrne-as he gave her a shot as a member of the team and eventually gave her a solo comic series and a graphic novel of her own! This Byrne cover shows an enraged She-Hulk as she get ready to confront a sleazy magazine publisher who took candid photos of her sunbathing topless!! Bad bad move my friend!!

Modok Exposed! Sexy Comic Book Cover of the Week!!

Modok is easily one of my fave Marvel villains of all time and that’s why I had to add this awesome cover for Captain America #313 from 1986 by probably my fave comic book artist of all time Mr. John Byrne! This one always kinda gave me the creeps because it showed Modok who’s easily one of the strangest Marvel villains with his pants down! By that I mean we see the guy without his armor chair which normally covers most of his body. This story was titled “Mission: Murder Modok!” and it featured one of my personal fave super villain teams the “Serpent Society” as they attempted to assasinate him! Seeing Modok on the cover laying on his back like a big cryin’ baby with his little body(he can’t walk because his head is too big) was kinda like when as a kid I’d see my pet hermit crab walking around at night without his shell searching for a larger one. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a hermit crab without it’s shell, but it’s pretty weird, It freaked me the fuck out! This is a cool cover and a rare glimpse of Modok “undressed”!!!

Captain-America-313

 

I really hope that Modok makes it into the Marvel cinematic universe-he’d be such a fun villain to see on the big screen! Hopefully they would go with animatronics and puppetry rather than CG, it’d be quite a site! If hadn’t already noticed someone did indeed put a Modok inspired character into a movie already – the 1996 flick “Head of the Family” !

Total Modok rip-off!!! But you can see how cool of a villain he would be on the big screen!!

Oh yeah and then there’s THIS!

 

 

WTF Comic Book Moments!!

I just recently saw this cover and I just had to share this here! It seems like Superman, Batman & Robin may be overstepping their boundaries maybe just a little bit here on this one don’t you think?! Hopefully the police didn’t get involved because seriously folks Batman looks WAY too stoked on the idea of stripping down!!