Tagged: summer

VHS Verdict: ‘Nightmare Beach’ A Slasher Flick That’s More 80’s Than The 80s!

A few nights ago I checked out a pretty sweet little 80’s slasher movie by Harry Kirkpatrick & Italian director Umberto Lenzi who was also responsible for the equally fun schlock-fest ‘Ghosthouse’. ‘Welcome to Spring Break’ AKA ‘Nightmare Beach’ is most definitely worth tracking down if you’re a fan of cheezy 80’s horror and those wacky mega raging hormone teen comedies from that decade. You know, those movies that could simply never be made in 2018, this one is a prime example as it’s jam packed with nudity, crude humor and a psychotic “undead” killer on a murderous rampage. It shares a lot of similarities with movies like ‘The Horror Show’ and ‘Shocker’ as it features a serial killer who’s executed on the electric chair and seemingly re-appears to kill as many people as he can by electrocuting the shit out of them.

Yep we’ve got a full on ridiculous mystery here jam packed with moronic characters galore and then some. As you can imagine the college kids in this one have two things on their feeble minds, partying and sex! Our two main characters are pretty interesting fellows as well, one’s intent on partyin’ ’til he’s brain dead and his straight laced buddy, well I’m not sure why he even went to the damn beach for spring break. The dude turns down every scenario to get have fun, get freakin’ wasted and mingle with the ladies. He’s such a damn wholesome guy that he almost becomes more ridiculous to watch than the full on 80’s party hardy springbreakin’ sex maniancs that are combing every inch of the beach. Yep this movie is indeed more 80’s than the 1980’s. It’s the epitome of everything ridiculous from that time period, while the acting is pretty over the top, it’s still impressively played fairly straight. 

The crazed maniacal killer soon sweeps upon the beach scene riding a motorcycle and dressed head toe in his biker attire never removing his helmet as the ultimate party pooper. There’s some fun kills in this one as well and a bit of a Scooby Doo style mystery at play as well to keep you “guessing” until the very in in the final “epic” confrontation. Throw in John Saxon as a corrupt cop for some street cred, a totally radical 80’s metal soundtrack and you’ve got one helluva idiotic fun as shit slasher flick at play. This 1988 horror movie is a great saturday night party jam to enjoy with a big group of rowdy friends and plenty of booze! 

 

And of course this one has an obscure “killer” 80’s song in it from Kirsten, who plays live in the movie as well-dig IT!!

 

 

 

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Wolverine: Set to Kick the Bucket This Summer! I Say It’s About Time!

So news has dropped that Marvel plans to “kill off” Wolverine this summer in the upcoming “3 Months to Die” starting with Wolverine #8. I’m sure no one will shed a tear as well all know Wolverine won’t be gone for long and that this type of shit goes down every ten years or so to boost sales. This however is something I think that Marvel needs to do desperately. Marvel has gone Wolverine crazy over the years, putting him in almost every comic book imaginable.

He even joined the Avengers, a move that today still doesn’t fly with me. Wolverine will NEVER feel like an Avenger to me. I never would’ve imagined that anyone could make Logan a boring character, but it happened. They’ve been beating a dead horse with him for far too long now. I’m actually pretty tired of seeing him in comic books, I’m totally burnt out. He seems to show up everywhere. If you would tell me that Wolverine actually has fifteen identical twin brothers at this point I’d totally buy it.  I’m really actually glad he’s not able to show up as a team member in the Avengers movies…

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He’s no longer mysterious. In fact he’s so far from mysterious these days that there’s really not much interesting to do with him other than kill off the lil’ runt! Wow, can you imagine a Marvel universe without Wolverine?! It sounds kinda….exciting! I can’t imagine it really, and that’s why it needs to happen.

“If the title sounds ominous, it’s for a good reason,” says Editor in Chief Axel Alonso. “What will be waiting for readers in September, when ‘3 Months to Die’ is over? Let’s just say, it’s going to be the buzz of the comics world.”

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I’m sure Marvel realizes that they really haven’t crafted an exciting Wolverine story in decades. So yeah count me in, I wanna see Wolvie go down and stay down for a long time. I’m really curious who’s going to do him in (I hope it’s not Sabretooth-I’m still sick of that guy too). I wanna miss the guy. I want it to feel special again when he shows up in another title as a guest star. He used to be one of my favorite characters of all time, we all need a break sometimes from the people we love. I’m for the first time in forever excited to read Wolverine!

The Conjuring: A Scary Breath of Fresh Summer Air!

I checked out ‘The Conjuring’ last night, a movie I was looking forward to for quite a while amidst this season of over blown shiny rubbery looking blockbusters. My verdict? It was a helluva lot of fun and was jam packed with scares a plenty and then more scares after that! I’ve gotta say I’m really kinda liking James Wan as of late, the guy who I originally considered a hack, mainly for my loathing of movies like Saw and Death Sentence. I’ve got to admit though the guy, though not pulling out anything ultra original has pretty much mastered the Ghost Story / haunting horror genre. I was a huge fan of Insidious and this latest offering is just as good if not perhaps an even more solid haunt flick.

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Based this time on the “true” story of  Ed & Lorraine Warren who were demonologists back in the late 1960’s and 70’s and their most bizarre case which involved the haunting of The Perron Family in their new home in Harrisville, Rhode Island. From the get go you can tell it’s going to be one heck of a creepy ride as the films opening sequences, which involve once again a creepy ass doll (I love creepy dolls!!) foreshadow what’s yet to come later. This is a great back to basics summer horror/suspense film which doesn’t rely on explicit gore, green screens or video gamey CG to get the crowd’s blood pumping. It relies on what you don’t see(yet many times what you do!) to craft it’s chills. It had me squirming in my seat and at times wanting to cover my eyes. It’s well acted, well shot and the special effects are perfectly executed in a way that makes you feel as if you’re right there in the creepy house with the rest of the family.

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It’d have been a damn near perfect viewing experience had it not been for the guy in front of us who for some reason felt like he had to narrate the scares for the whole theater, somehow feeling as if perhaps everyone in the theater had actually paid to come listen to him attempt to be a stand up comedian while a tense horror flick played alongside him. Uggh…perhaps I’ll see it again with out the annoying live commentary, however seeing it for the first time won’t ever be as good as the scares run rampant in this one and you never know exactly when the shit is yet again going to hit the fan. It certainly will make you think twice about playing hide and seek! Now however, what I really wonder is how much of this story was actually true? This film delved pretty heavily into the Catholic church and the power of religion to ward off evil spirits so hopefully the real story bares some real resemblance to what we saw onscreen and Wan wasn’t trying to convert it’s audience.

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I really recommend this one if you’re looking for something different this summer. It may not be the most original idea to hit the screen but it’s easily one of the best movies out in theaters thus far this summer. Take a chance and test your nerves and if you got a loud mouth who can’t refrain from thinking he’s part of the MST3K crew make sure to creep up slowly behind his seat and scare the bejeezus out of him, then quietly tell him to shut the fuck up!

And here are a couple clips of the real Ed and Lorraine Warren!

All Hollywood Blockbustered Out?!

We keep hearing about how worried Hollywood is that the huge blockbusters are going to flop since the mega poop bomb “The Lone Ranger” dropped into theaters. What’s the deal I wonder? Is all this worry for nothing? Is Pacific Rim going to be the the next big thing or the next big monster turd?! I can only really speak for myself and that’s that I’m kinda all blockbustered out already. For me Iron Man 3 was the cream of the crop and after seeing a few more big glossed over CG stuffed over hyped films I’m currently not feeling that there’s anymore room in my stomach for more fluff!

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Could it be that I’m not the only one? Because I feel as if maybe, just maybe people might be looking for a bit more from their summer movies? Even a movie like Pacific Rim, done by my man Del Toro for some reason hasn’t really gotten me fully amped up and at this point I’m not really sure I’ll even see it at the big theater. That movie should technically should have me salivating at the mouth but for some reason it hasn’t quite ignited the spark, even with all the hype. Now maybe what I’m really saying is that a lot of these blockbusters simply have no soul and are purely there to feed the cash cow. However, early reviews of Pacific Rim seem to be pointing to the opposite of my assumptions.

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Perhaps I shouldn’t second guess Guillermo? From what I have heard in the last couple days it’s got more than a bunch of big shiny CG (though it’s got it’s fair share of that) it’s got heart. So perhaps I’ll jump back in the blockbuster game again or hell maybe I’ll see The Conjuring instead? It’s gotten some great reviews thus far from a ton of horror sites..It might be a breath of fresh air to see a great little horror flick in the midst of rubbery cg monsters and explosions….then again? Hmmm….

 

WTF Comic Book Moments!!

I just recently saw this cover and I just had to share this here! It seems like Superman, Batman & Robin may be overstepping their boundaries maybe just a little bit here on this one don’t you think?! Hopefully the police didn’t get involved because seriously folks Batman looks WAY too stoked on the idea of stripping down!!

My Time has Come-Iron Maiden Here I Come!

There comes a time in your life when you really just have to suck it up and fucking rock. That time has finally come for me as I am preparing to see one of the best bands in the whole damn world for the first and possibly last time, IRON MAIDEN. Sure the tickets were quite pricey and having grown up attending punk rock shows I really haven’t been to that many arena shows in my time. I mean I saw some pretty amazing bands back in the day for six bucks or less, bands that went on to sell millions of albums even. Even living here in Portland Oregon it seems most bands are just too damn afraid to turn up their amps and many times I end up at the same old timid artsy shows-never getting 1/10th of the rock needed to survive the real world properly. But now the time has finally come to admit to myself, it’s time to man up, rock for real and see one of the best concerts of a lifetime.

I have wanted to see Maiden live for years, but some how always seemed to put it off because of pricey tickets Continue reading