Tagged: captain america 3

Cinematic Captain America: The Greatest American……..Virgin?!

I’ve been thinking about this since I saw Captain America: The Winter Soldier in theaters, it’s like a big elephant in the room at this point! We just have to address this, the movie Captain America is most definitely still a gosh darn virgin!! Am I wrong?! Nope! Movie Cap was born in 1918 so technically he’s a 96 year old virgin-It’s been three movies that this Cap portrayed by Chris Evans has been in, one being The Avengers and thus far Cap, though quite popular with the ladies since he got his muscles, has gotten ZERO action, aside from a few random smooches! Daaang!

So I think a great plot point of the next Captain America movie must be him finally losing his damn virginity already! I could see this being an incredibly funny moment being discussed by him and his fellow Avengers at a bar over a few beers and I can already imagine a ton of jokes involving Tony Stark, Banner and Thor about this. Now though the bigger question is who’s going to be his first?! Let’s face it Cap is quite the goody two shoes, so he may benefit from a more edgy lady like The Black Widow, or could go old school with Agent Carter (well that might be a bit weird), or maybe he’ll hook up with that SHIELD agent he was talking about?

The Avengers are in serious need of some options for the guy, Black Widow is hot and all but let’s face it she’d tear this momma’s boy’s heart to shreds! Or maybe Cap hasn’t come out of the closet yet?! Maybe he and Bucky will hook up?!! Either way it’s been too many decades for the guy, he’s gotta be feeling some serious sexual frustration at this point with all that super soldier serum pumping him up too, whatever the case he better make sure the big moment is worth the wait….

"Uggh...I can't focus on a word Fury is saying with this raging boner I've had since we made out in that mall earlier!!"

“Uggh…I can’t focus on a word Fury is saying with this raging boner I’ve had since we made out in that mall earlier!!”

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Modok Exposed! Sexy Comic Book Cover of the Week!!

Modok is easily one of my fave Marvel villains of all time and that’s why I had to add this awesome cover for Captain America #313 from 1986 by probably my fave comic book artist of all time Mr. John Byrne! This one always kinda gave me the creeps because it showed Modok who’s easily one of the strangest Marvel villains with his pants down! By that I mean we see the guy without his armor chair which normally covers most of his body. This story was titled “Mission: Murder Modok!” and it featured one of my personal fave super villain teams the “Serpent Society” as they attempted to assasinate him! Seeing Modok on the cover laying on his back like a big cryin’ baby with his little body(he can’t walk because his head is too big) was kinda like when as a kid I’d see my pet hermit crab walking around at night without his shell searching for a larger one. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a hermit crab without it’s shell, but it’s pretty weird, It freaked me the fuck out! This is a cool cover and a rare glimpse of Modok “undressed”!!!

Captain-America-313

 

I really hope that Modok makes it into the Marvel cinematic universe-he’d be such a fun villain to see on the big screen! Hopefully they would go with animatronics and puppetry rather than CG, it’d be quite a site! If hadn’t already noticed someone did indeed put a Modok inspired character into a movie already – the 1996 flick “Head of the Family” !

Total Modok rip-off!!! But you can see how cool of a villain he would be on the big screen!!

Oh yeah and then there’s THIS!