September 19, 2013

BIG Action Hero News: The Expendables Recruit……….Kelsey Grammer?!

Hmmmm…this is NOT exciting news no matter what the entertainment news sources are trying to tell you!! Yeah Yahoo News, Ain’t it Cool ect are really trying to get us all pumped up into being stoked on the fact that Kelsey Grammer is playing a bad ass mercenary in the next installment of The Expendables. Seriously this less than mediocre news in the casting of this next film, but wait, Grammer did play the Beast in the worst installment of the X-men films!

Now just too be clear I really did like him as The Beast, I just thought the movie was a crap shoot. If they really wanted a mercenary that’d impress us 80’s action fans they had a hell of a lot more choices than Grammer! Here’s a few for Hollywood to think about off the top of my head- Mr. T, Roddy Piper, Carl Weathers, Jesse Ventura, Michael Dudikoff, Hulk Hogan, Christopher Lambert, Bill Duke…but seriously Kelsey?! Not impressive when guys like these two still exist!!

Now while his role in the film might be the most bad ass shit we’re ever gonna see this kind of news bums me out a bit when I think of all the other possibilities of legit 80’s action stars around his age who could have added to the fun and nostalgia that this series promises. I was hoping for a real genre shifting plot this time around like they had promised but it seems like this one might be more standard Expendables fare. This is also a disappointment when it’s now looking like Jackie, Milla Jovovich and Nicholas Cage WON’T be appearing in this film after all. This was not a good way to try and make it up to us. Sly and the boys you could have done more for the true action fans!!

Jackie who cares if there are too many actors!!!! GET OVER IT DUDE!!

September 18, 2013

Star Trek: Less Action Please!!

I’ve been thinking about for it for quite some time now and I’ve just GOT to say it: Current Star Trek has way too much damn action! After watching the most recent “Star Trek: Into Darkness” I realized that the franchise is going in the wrong direction. No, I won’t deny that JJ nailed it on the first Star Trek he directed, it was fun, action packed and nostalgic. However the lackluster sequel where he tried to recreate the whole Khan storyline was not necessary to us Trekkers! We had two previous installments (Space Seed and The Wrath of Khan) which simply cannot be touched. It was a loud mess of story with a decent villain but who unfortunately just wasn’t seen as the legendary Khan in the eyes of Star Trek fans. I felt it was such a disappointment that I am actually glad that Abrams is leaving the franchise.

Yep, I realized that this current “Star Trek” doesn’t really represent real spirit of Star Trek. It’s so jam packed with wild explosions, glitter and insane action sequences that it is missing what really made Trek so intriguing in the first place. A good solid story. Nope we didn’t get crazy effects heavy action, we got good sci-fi about traveling the universe looking for new alien civilizations, beaming down to unknown planets, exploration and strong bonds that slowly grew within the crew in the process. it wasn’t about being flashy, it was the perfect blend of action, story and adventure. I’d like to see the next movie be a more intelligent plot driven adventure of discovering new worlds and the the unknown threats or challenges that are waiting on the planet’s surface.You know like a star trek should be…

Let’s not try and modernize an old story or try to redesign an old villain with a “cool factor”. Give us a good story without all the pointless hyperactive action- this is Star Trek not The Fast and the Furious! “Into Darkness” really made me miss the spirit of the old shows and movies. I think Abrams did a great job of kick starting a franchise and making it “cool again” for the kids but as we continue this journey let’s remember that all that glitters is not necessarily gold, let’s remember what made Star Trek great in the first place. Star Trek was never broken, its crew just got old and eventually retired, let’s remember even in their younger days they were never concerned about being hip and cool for the kids, they were there to explore the final frontier! Give us some good ol’ fashioned science fiction dammit! You remember episodes like “City on the Edge of Forever”? “Mirror Mirror”? “Arena”? “The Naked Time”?! The Savage Curtain”? Well if not maybe all you Trek fans should go back and revisit the classics, the foundation of it all. Who do you think would be a good choice to helm the next movie?! Do you think Star Trek is on the right path?

September 14, 2013

Step Aside Jason “Saturday The 14th” is Here!

What? You never heard of the 1981 movie “Saturday the 14th”? Well I thought I’d give it a shout out today as it’s indeed Saturday the 14th! This little long forgotten horror comedy, produced by Julie Corman, wife of Roger Corman! it’s a fun little low budget horror spoof starring Richard Benjamin whom most people remember as the main character from Westworld.

This one though is jam packed with a ton ridiculous man in rubber suit monsters, schlocky 80’s effects galore and full on corny humor, it’s the perfect movie to follow up everyone’s Friday The 13th parties! It’s streaming on Netflix too so check it out already!! It’s been many years since I’ve seen it, hmmmm….Saturday The 14th party anyone?! Could be a new trend in the making!

September 12, 2013

The Turkish “Exorcist”: Demonically Terrible FX!!!

Turkey had a reputation of remaking American hit films back in the day and that’s a damn good thing because most often these movies were jam packed with some of the most ridiculous shit you’re likely to see on screen! We had movies like the Turkish Rambo, the Turkish E.T. and the Turkish Star Wars and upon viewing this little 4 min video from FX Hell about the Turkish “Exorcist” or otherwise titled “Seytan” released in 1974 a year after it’s American counterpart hit the screen, well I just couldn’t resist posting it here!!

Yeah that girl in the above photo is the “Linda Blair” character from this one-I gotta admit she’s damn pretty frightening! Check this shit out-this is some funny ass possession going here in this household! Maybe the demon in this case suffered from some brain damage?!

September 11, 2013

Listen Up Hollywood! The Dark Night Returns: Starring Michael Keaton!

So I’m just not that pumped on the whole Ben Affleck Batman scenario. I get that he probably just landed his dream job and that they want Batman and Superman to appear in a movie together but I think we could shoot higher! Let’s think about another more exciting movie sequel, a live action “Dark Knight Returns” starring Michael Keaton once again as Batman!!

I was watching Keaton in a movie recently and it dawned on me that he’s the perfect age to play Batman again, in the role from the legendary Frank Miller story. Seriously. I think this is something that they need to make happen. It would make for quite a treat to all Batman fans and maybe, just maybe we could get Tim Burton to direct. I really don’t trust Burton with anything these days, I suppose he’d need to somehow insert Johnny Depp into the equation, hell maybe he could play Robin?! That’d be if we changed the sex of Robin for the movie but hey it could work if that’s what burton really needed to make himself happy! But if we could get Burton to go back to his roots with this one it’d be quite an experience!

So what about the Joker you ask? Well…no brainer, Jack Nicholson of course as an old Joker would be absolutely fantastic! Because guess what? The Joker didn’t die in the original Burton movie! Nope! Because we’ve seen it happen in the comics many times, we all know he never truly dies nor do any valuable characters. However they better jump on this idea quick as we’ve heard rumors of Nicholson possibly retiring. How great would this be as his last hurrah?! The movie could show a recap of what happened throughout the years between them, with Keaton’s Batman and we could stick to the same visual style of the first movies.

To me that sounds like a good time. Far far better than Ben Affleck jumping into the next Superman flick. I mean the first Superman was sufficient but it really didn’t captivate audiences in the way they’d anticipated. But that means that we would hypothetically need a Superman for this Burton version, so who’d fit the bill? I wouldn’t be opposed to Cavill returning, though this universe may be to Burton-esque for him, I’d be ok more so with Brandon Routh returning to the role as he has that Christopher Reeve vibe and ultimately his Superman would have fit pretty good into the 1989 Batman’s universe quite nicely. So there you have it Hollywood! Make this shit happen! This would truly be an exciting venture I’d pay to see more than once!

What do YOU think?

September 4, 2013

Captain Kirk Vs Miley Cyrus?!!

Whoa what could possibly disgust Captain James T. Kirk so much?

Well watch what happens when the USS Enterprise goes face to face with Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke?! These two are more of a threat to the Enterprise than Khan or any Klingon- Check it out! I haven’t laughed this hard in quite a while….This whole Miley Cyrus twerking thing doesn’t say much for the intellegence of our race here on earth. We all know she’s trying to make her lame music somewhere by rubbing her scuzzy ass rear end all over Alan Thicke’s mentally challenged son! Talk about serious growing pains! Jeez people are more concerned about these talentless pop star nimrods behavior than a possibility of the United States starting war with Syria! I guess it’s no use as we can’t change the behavior of our lame ass Gov’t or these idiotic pop star douche bags who somehow get force fed to us daily by the media-so if you can’t beat em’ join em’ I guess, or at least give them major shit!

August 23, 2013

Ben Affleck is the New BATMAN?!

Yep-seems that we have a new Batman again, not the perfect choice of Joseph Gordon Levitt but Ben Affleck as USA Today has just reported! Not sure what to think about this, I suppose Affleck has gotten to be better through the years. Somehow though I just can’t erase that wretched Daredevil flick from 2003 from my mind! I can’t say I’m thrilled but everyone deserves a chance at redemption right?! Ok Ben, don’t fuck this one up!!!

Ok, though let’s NOT forget this bullshit though ok?

August 17, 2013

Andre the Giant &The Lost Princess Bride Scene!!

Ha ha well ok you got me, it’s not a lost Princess Bride scene but it does feature the late, great wrestling superstar Andre the Giant going crazy for giant Honeycomb cereal as his persona from the movie!

I remember when this cereal came out-it was all the rage, anything made bigger back then was always better! I think this commercial is from around the time he appeared in The Princess Bride! A nice little reminder of how bad ass the 80’s were!

August 16, 2013

Wolverine’s Secret Obesession with…Gerber Baby Products?!

Check this out, this was from the “1993 Marvel Annual Financial Report” that they sent out specifically to people who bought stock in Marvel. For some reason, Marvel seems to be connected to Gerber Baby products-we see this first with this image from Wolverine’s shrouded mysterious past-little did we know he was so fucking pumped up about Gerber stuff! Maybe he just heard the news about Daken? Or maybe he just loves babies?! Check it out!!

Also it seems Wolverine ain’t the only one mesmerized by Gerber stuff! Iron Man Flips out when he get’s a glimpse of the Gerber Baby!!

You can actually buy a copy of the Marvel Financial Report on Amazon, check it here!

August 11, 2013

The Conspiracy: Creepy Creepy Rich People Attack!

I’ve been reading a lot of info lately on Bohemian Grove, the two week long retreat in Monte Rio California set up exclusively for the richest most powerful men in the world. It’s guests include people like George Bush, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Richard Nixon and many more politicians and corporate icons. What do they do there?

Apparently they discuss business and political deals, talk about the “Little Men” which are people like me and most likely you and the rest of the general populace, drink, run around naked, do drugs and enjoy some strange rituals like the “Cremation of Care”. Sounds crazy huh? Well it’s true and it’s been going on for a long time. It’s gathered so much attention through the years that Occupy San Francisco has been showing up to protest their secret meetings.

Love him or hate him, In 2000 Alex Jones infiltrated the compound and exposed first hand the “Cremation” ritual with a camera he smuggled in. It was a bit of “big news” that year, and even if you think Jones is full of shit, no one can deny that his video is pretty damn captivating. Check out what happens when Jones confronts David Gergen political advisor to four Presidents Clinton, Nixon, Ford and Reagan. It’s a pretty chilling reaction, but it’s toward the end of his interview just as Gergen starts to get a little too comfy…

So Bohemian Grove sounds like something right out of a crazy horror movie huh? Well there’s a cool looking flick coming out soon called “The Conspiracy” that looks truly creepy. What if some people like Alex Jones while infiltrating a place like Bohemian Grove were discovered by it’s guests? Well it seems this movie, a mockumentary, gives us a chilling possibility of what that might look like. The clip on Dread Central kinda freaked me out, check it out as this movies already got stellar reviews. Now I’m not a huge Conspiracy theorist, but I must say a lot of this stuff really intrigues me and I do believe there’s some truth to much of these ideas. The funny thing is people are becoming much more interested about what these high powered fat cats are doing behind closed doors. People want to know what they’ve got planned for the masses as even of late the protests at the Bilderberg meetings. So this flick is going to be right up my alley let’s just hope it’s not too close to the truth!!!