Tagged: jackie chan

WTF New Years Eve Hong Kong 90s Horror Gem: ‘Last Ghost Standing’!

Wild and weird New Years flicks are not easy to come by. But god damn do I have one of the most WTF movies taking place on New Years Eve you will ever see to recommend! ‘Last Ghost Standing’ from 1999 is essentially a night in the life of a young couple on a New Year’s Eve date to a creepy theater that’s showing it’s very final picture before closing forever…

 It doesn’t take long however for things to get downright dirty, spooky and simultaneously zany when evil forces from the netherworld descend from from the depths of hell to kill everyone who has purchased a ticket to the final show at the theater. Basically a mix of ‘Demons’ and ‘Evil Dead 2’ with even more senseless comedy and insane goopy antics. Yes, this one dials the idiotic insanity up to 11 with a barely cohesive story holding this creature together by the withering tendons. I’d make sure you’re a few drinks in or stoned outta your gord before checking this one out on New Year’s Eve. You’ve been warned!

It’s jam packed with awesome cheap-o B-movie fx & gross out moments a’ plenty.  Particularly a scene where a group of wild raver teens are attacked by a disgusting toilet poop monster in the restroom.  Barely any of this late nineties gem makes a lick of sense either, I think it’s all there just to give our eyes a visual feast  & at the same time make you lose a brain cell or two just from watching.

Things get so out of control in the theater that they eventually have to call in a mock Jackie Chan type character with a fake prosthetic nose to come and try to settle the supernatural score with the demons. The funny thing is it would appear that the demonic forces in this movie aren’t fully satisfied with the state of modern cinema at the time and are ready to rip it’s existence entirely from our world.  The essential reason for their attack on the patrons.

If you’re a horror fanatic and looking for something truly bizarre on New Year’s Eve today, this is definitely going to deliver the goods right to your damn doorstep. It’s silly, gross and a lot of frenetic fun & I can certainly guarantee you’ve never seen anything like it before! Happy 2022!!

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Boy Oh Boy… ‘Iron Fist: Season 2’ Is On The Way?!

I’d been curious for a while what was going to happen to everybody’s least favorite Netflix dud superhero series ‘Iron Fist’. Well turns out we’re going to get a sequel to one of the most boring superhero adventures I’ve ever seen! Yeah, Iron Fist season one was truly a challenge to sit through, how the hell they were able to make a superhuman kung fu master with a glowing fist a bore is beyond me. So they’re gonna give this shit another whirl and the fact that they haven’t given up on it all together leads me to believe that they just MUST have some sort of redemption coming for our spoiled lil’ slightly annoying millionaire Danny Rand. Filming is set to begin soon and we’ve even got a new Iron Fist Season 2 promo pic!

I’ll check out the first episode when it hits BUT if things don’t get awesome within the span of that single episode I’m out!! There’s not much revealed thus far except that it’s rumored the incredibly lame “Steel Serpent” will return (whoopdeedoo) and that also the other villain will be a character called Tanya Parker, who’ll become a female assassin character from the pages of Marvel comics. In order for Iron Fist to capture anyone’s attention anymore on Netflix a few things need to happen. 

FIRST, As I mentioned earlier the first episode of season two has got to be fucking amazing. Period. If it starts off with some boring ass plot with Danny “Bland” Rand involved in some corporate BS at Rand Enterprises that no one gives a damn about it’s over. They need to start off with a big bang in episode one doing something we haven’t seen before in any of the Marvel Netflix stuff and they need to do it damn quick! No more boring ass shit like this please:

 

SECOND, the action better be off the rails this time around! I really couldn’t believe just how terrible the martial arts were executed in the first season. For a show who’s main character is a superhuman martial arts prodigy we got some serious boring ass, terribly executed, bland action sequences. This show needs to set the superhuman kung fu dial to eleven and bring us the most insane action sequences we’ve seen on the small screen. They should be taking notes on past movies from the likes of Sammo Hung, Jackie Chan & Tony Jaa, they need to watch ‘The Raid’ the night before filming. Seriously, it’s time to go the distance with Netflix Marvel, they’ve got the budget, so bring in a real kung fu choreographer and amp up the kung fu to crazy new heights. That alone will bring in the fans. A true spectacle is what this show needs badly. Check out this clip and seriously imagine Danny Rand doing some shit like this:

 

THIRD, I have a truly wild ‘n crazy idea Marvel…..PUT IRON FIST IN HIS DAMN COSTUME! Geezus, Marvel has got a lot to learn, when doing a show about a superhero, don’t be afraid to feature said superhero and his villains in their damn costumes from the comic book! What an idea huh?!!! Danny Rand was pretty damn boring in season one, make the dude a bit more compelling in season two and on top of that, I have an idea what might make him even more interesting-his fucking costume!!! The character will become so much more than some boring rich spoiled white dude if you give him his superhero duds. Even just adding the mask to his look generates a ton of excitement, imagine for a moment a new Netflix Batman series, but in it, Batman doesn’t wear a costume, it’s just Bruce Wayne running around town beating up bad guys in a Lexus he calls “The Batmobile”….are people gonna dig that?

 

LASTLY, tell a better story, the first season was fucking painful. Waaaay to long. Cut his show down to six or eight episodes tops. Give us a short, sweet action packed kung fu adventure. No more board room meetings and plots involving his lames ass corporation. Go to interesting places, leave the city behind even, I’m kinda tired of the setting of all these shows in New York, It’s getting sorta played out at this point. Let’s see some fantastical shit go down, as his character allows for things to go off the rails a bit more than say Jessica Jones, Cage & Daredevil. This shit isn’t rocket science, watch a couple rad kung flicks to see what will make this show work!!!

 

What do you think would make Iron Fist an interesting show? Am I way off base here or what?  At this point I think I’d rather watch this Iron Fist fan film! Way better kung fu action-seriously.

 

Forgotten Movie Gems: Operation Scorpio’s Kung Fu Comic Book Artist!

Hot Dayum! Here’s a rad ass kung fu movie I recently checked out that deserves some serious love yet remains all but forgotten by most here in the USA. If you dig comic books and kung fu I say you gotta take a moment to check out…

Operation Scorpio, aka The Scorpion King (1991)

 

This unique Hong Kong kung Fu movie from 1991 is barrel of zany fun. It’s jam packed with some truly stunning action and hyper-crazy early 1990’s Kung Fu mayhem!! This one’s got a ton of heart and a cool ass story about a comic book artist, Yu Shu, who’s got a wild ass imagination and spends his time daydreaming of being a real life superhero. It opens with a great sequence that perfectly sets the stage for the frantic charming martial arts extravaganza. His wild imagination gets the best of him when his ‘in class cartooning’ soon gets him expelled from medical school leaving him to help his Uncle’s buddy, Master Yat around his popular noodle restaurant. But Yu soon finds himself  fully wrapped up in the evil web of a criminal prostitution ring, when going out on a limb, he helps a woman escape from their stronghold late one evening while walking about town. Now the duo are on the run and take shelter hiding out in Master Yat’s noodle house, they’ll eventually find a lot more than noodle’s in his bustling restaurant. 

 

 

Shit gets pretty awesome as the movie constantly introduces us to a colorful cast of unique characters and the villain’s seemingly superhuman fighting abilities inspire our main character to take a stab at kung fu himself. He secretly heads off to local martial arts school that’s taught by one of the most bad ass, muscle bound kung fu experts I’ve ever seen in cinema. This dude rivals Bolo Yueng! The movie plays out a bit like a comic book version of “My Bodyguard” & “The Karate Kid” and it’s filled with comedy, romance and downright incredible martial arts sequences. Sonny, (The Scorpion King), the lanky villain of the movie, shows that size clearly doesn’t matter when it comes to superhuman kung fu and proves himself to be quite a cinematic threat to anyone who stands in his way. His “scorpion” style of fighting is a treat to see in action as well and one of the best action scenes is when Yu’s Hulking kung fu teacher decides to try and put an end to his problems himself. This truly epic and a bit of a heartbreaking confrontation is definitely not to be missed..

 

 

We’ve got a ton of cool shit going on in this one & one of the most entertainingly cheezy sequences of the movie involves the rigorous kung fu training endured by Yu as he masters martial arts through a full on noodle making work out. We’ve got some great twists and turns in the plot as well and just about everything in this movie is quirky enough to elevate this one to a level of it’s own in the ranks of late 80’s early 90’s martial arts movies. Cool sets, ultra colorful characters, superhuman kung fu, heart and unique little story drive this movie into territory I wasn’t even aware existed in the genre. Operation Scorpio, aka ‘The Scorpion King’ is a total treat for any comic book fan and it’s no wonder the flick was produced by the legendary Sammo Hung. It stands on it’s own and really deserves a lot more attention and notoriety for it’s pure charm and ultra endearing cheez factor it delivers. Seek this one out, as it really is a forgotten gem… 

 

 

BIG Action Hero News: The Expendables Recruit……….Kelsey Grammer?!

Hmmmm…this is NOT exciting news no matter what the entertainment news sources are trying to tell you!! Yeah Yahoo News, Ain’t it Cool ect are really trying to get us all pumped up into being stoked on the fact that Kelsey Grammer is playing a bad ass mercenary in the next installment of The Expendables. Seriously this less than mediocre news in the casting of this next film, but wait, Grammer did play the Beast in the worst installment of the X-men films!

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Now just too be clear I really did like him as The Beast, I just thought the movie was a crap shoot. If they really wanted a mercenary that’d impress us 80’s action fans they had a hell of a lot more choices than Grammer! Here’s a few for Hollywood to think about off the top of my head- Mr. T, Roddy Piper, Carl Weathers, Jesse Ventura, Michael Dudikoff, Hulk Hogan, Christopher Lambert, Bill Duke…but seriously Kelsey?! Not impressive when guys like these two still exist!!

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Now while his role in the film might be the most bad ass shit we’re ever gonna see this kind of news bums me out a bit when I think of all the other possibilities of legit 80’s action stars around his age who could have added to the fun and nostalgia that this series promises. I was hoping for a real genre shifting plot this time around like they had promised but it seems like this one might be more standard Expendables fare. This is also a disappointment when it’s now looking like Jackie, Milla Jovovich and Nicholas Cage WON’T be appearing in this film after all. This was not a good way to try and make it up to us. Sly and the boys you could have done more for the true action fans!!

Jackie who cares if there are too many actors!!!! GET OVER IT DUDE!!

‘Red Hill’ Proves ‘The New Blood’ Expendables 3 Director Has Got The Chops!

Stallone has been teasing with directors for the upcoming Expendables 3 for quite some time now. We’ve heard rumors of  John Woo and yeah even Mel Gibson for quite a while now. However in the end Stallone gave us an unknown “new blood” director, Patrick Hughes. You might ask yourself now who the hell is this guy? Well I decided to check it out by watching his one and only feature film he directed last night to see if he was the man for the job for the final film of The Expendables trilogy.

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Red Hill is a 2010, Australian action thriller that Hughes wrote, produced and directed. I’ve gotta say Red Hill was an awesome film and I now understand exactly why Stallone decided to hand the reigns over to him. Sly said he was looking for a “hungry” film maker who reminded him of himself when he started out. I think he got his guy. Red Hill is a simple premise not much different than “The Last Stand” Arnold Schwarzenegger’s last box office bomb. A new cop, True Blood’s Ryan Kwanten settles in a small rural Australian town with his pregnant wife and joins his new police crew in a manhunt for a severely scarred psycho escaped convict headed in their direction. That’s pretty much where the similarities end.

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The movie is heartfelt, action packed and unpredictable. It doesn’t take long for the action to begin and while it’s not quite in the same action genre as something like The Expendables it’s easy to see why Stallone is giving Hughes a chance. Once we finally meet the big bad guy it’s clear he knows his  80’s action villains. “Jimmy Conway” the movies big aboriginal villain is about as menacing as they come, a highly skilled hunter with one side of his face burned like Freddy Kruger. Once he enters town all hell breaks loose and the movies plot begins to twist and turn. Kwanten also shines in his starring role proving he’s a much more skilled actor than what we’re used to seeing on True Blood.

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I’m very surprised this movie doesn’t have more of a following. Perhaps The Expendables 3 will open the door to this rad movie to more people. It surely achieved one thing for me, faith that the third installment of The Expendables will indeed be the best….

The Expendables 3 Plot Ideas With Jackie Chan!

Hearing that Jackie Chan is going to joining third installment of The Expendables is great news for any action fan! He’s the perfect addition to the team assuming he’s a good guy and not a villain which I don’t think would be a wise casting idea. i also see this as a chance at maybe some better comedic moments. The second flick was pretty hit or miss in the comedy department, it tried awfully hard but Arnold was a bit stiff in his delivery although his presence was very well welcomed. I hope he returns for the third movie in an even bigger role and by that time maybe he’ll have his chops back to form. So adding Chan is a big deal and it makes me wonder who else will be entering the fold?

So the news of Chan joining is great but what about all these recent plot rumors? First we heard that the next movie was going to switch genres…we all assumed that didn’t mean it’d be a rom com co starring Julia Roberts. It’s been hinted at that the movie would be taking a more sci-fi theme which I think would be great. It’s even been rumored that Sly may finally use the “Hunter” book storyline that he has the rights to. Which would mean the team would be hunting down a gentically mutated mercenary gone on a sadistic killing spree. To me this would be the plot I’d like to see, done perhaps better than the 1982 Chuck Norris flick of similar plot “Silent Rage”!

It’s also been hinted at by Sly that new blood would be taking over as the third installment would see the old vets retiring and passing the torch to new younger guys who rely on tech like drones and computers to kick the bad guys asses. To me that sounds….lame. Finish the trilogy with a bang. Bring in Segal, Arnold, Mr. T, Ford, Bolo Yeung, The Rock or new guys like Iko Uwais or Tony Jaa. He also said a third possibility would be some females entering the fold. That sounds wonderful bring on Linda Hamilton, Michelle Rodriguez, Brigitte Nielson or yeah Grace Jones!! I have my hopes set high on a sci fi twist, it’d be perfect for the crew….what do you think would be the best for the final chapter?

Would the REAL Karate Kid Please Stand Up?!

Here it is the new trailer to the remake of the Karate Kid, a movie that I refuse to see! Wasn’t The Next Karate Kid with Hilary Swank bad enough? Now we have a remake of probably one of my top 5 favorite movies of all time. Not to mention one of the best 80’s movies ever. Luckily they changed the names of the main characters. I would blow my top if Jaden Smith was Daniel Laruso and Jackie Chan was Mr. Miagi!!

From the preview it appears to follow a very similar story as the original. Continue reading