Tagged: film
The Two Most Outrageous Upcoming Action Flicks!!
Well here are a couple action flicks I dare any major studio to try and beat! Sorry Stallone I am sure your upcoming PG-13 Expendables II will be fun but in comparison “The Raid: Redemption” it’s going to most likely end up looking like an episode of GI Joe from the eighties! But so far from what I heard The Raid is being hailed as arguably the best action flick of all time. So far by seeing several clips and hearing the synopsis it’s quite possible this Indonesian film will win the medal!
“Deep in the heart of Jakarta’s slums lies an impenetrable derelict apartment building which became a safe house for the world’s most dangerous killers and gangsters. The rundown apartment block has been considered untouchable to even the bravest of police. Cloaked under the cover of pre-dawn darkness and silence, an elite team is tasked with raiding the building in order to take down the notorious drug lord who runs it. But when a chance encounter with a spotter blows their cover and news of their assault reaches the drug lord, the building’s lights are cut off and all exits are blocked. Stranded on the 6th floor with no way out, the unit must fight their way through the city’s worst criminals to survive their mission.”
The next movie looks like it just has to be seen to be believed. It’s opening this week in Portland Oregon where I live and yeah well it looks like the most ridiculous action movie of all time. “The FP” involves two rival gangs who do battle by way of deadly games of Dance Dance Revolution. Yeah you heard that right somehow you can die by playing this game, I am not sure how but apparently in this movie anything can happen!
Obviously this movie wasn’t meant to be taken seriously-but if it had been it would have been even more brilliant! Listen to some of the dialogue for cryin’ out loud! I am not sure if the idea loses it’s charm quickly in this movie but I am willing to bet you never see anything quite like it ever again! This is the “Rocky” of lame dance games! Check it!
Is There an Alternate Version of “The Thing” 2011 Prequel?
I finally got around to watching “The Thing” 2011 prequel I have been trying to avoid for so long. The original 1982 movie of the same name is probably my favorite monster movie of all time! So giving this new movie a chance after hearing about how shitty it was really was a hard thing to do-but I decided to see for myself if the movie sucked as bad as the reviews suggested. My verdict? Yeah it was pretty damn sucky.
First of all this movie was really not much of a prequel. It was basically a remake that tried to do everything the original did but just ten times less impressive. Sure it linked at the end to the Carpenter version but overall this movie didn’t bring anything new to the table. The story was pretty bland, as were the characters even though the movie was pretty well shot and looked very similar to the original-all except for the special effects.
Now we all know that the 1982 version is really the king of practical monster effects. It still remains to this day as perhaps the most creepy and realistic looking effects on screen. The new version however looked as fake and pathetic as ever. Like something out of DOOM interacting with real people. But was it always meant to be that bad? I guess not. The movie originally boasted that no CGI would be used and from what I have read 80% of it was shot with bad ass practical monster effects. Then when the movie was show to the studio they were told the monsters were too slow and they needed the monsters to be jumping around more ect. So they had to go back and reshoot and mostly cover up the old effects with CGI to give it a more modern look. By modern it ended up getting a more fake video gamey look that the kids love so much today. Anyway I am curious-is there a version out there with the original effects?! How about releasing a special edition original cut version? Well here’s a little video that shows you some of the magic that could have been in the 2011 version…
Sherlock Holmes : The Dufus!
I finally got around to check out the latest Sherlock Holmes movie with Robert Downey Jr. and it was exactly what I thought it was going to be,a dumb fun romp of a movie. No surprises really there I enjoyed it quite a bit like the first installment however this Guy Ritchie Sherlock was COMPLETELY different than any Sherlock that we’ve ever seen or known of. This confused some and made others angry as Holmes was never an all out crazed brawler in the past. This didn’t bother me too much, sure it didn’t really feel like I was watching a real Sherlock adventure but I don’t mind a different take on classic characters every now and then. That’s why I urge any of you people out there looking for a great different Sherlock Holmes movie to check out “Without a Clue” from 1988.
This is definitely a different take on our beloved hero. In this movie Holmes played brilliantly by Michael Caine is actually a boozing unemployed dufus actor who couldn’t find his way out of a public restroom. The brains behind the operation is secretly Watson played by Ben Kingsley, who creates the persona of Sherlock Holmes so he can solve crimes secretly while trying to secure a position at a highly respectable medical practice. This is quite an interesting take on the legend and it’s a helluva good time.
It’s a treat seeing the bumbling Holmes taking orders from Watson, watching Sherlock hog the spotlight with out a clue as to what the hell he is talking about as he fools Scotland Yard into thinking he’s a superhuman crime solving super hero. It’s a perfect anti-buddy comedy as soon Sherlock’s got everyone fooled and is soon chosen to solve the movies mystery on his own as Watson is suddenly “killed” in a plot by the evil Moriaty and suddenly he has to try and play the part of the legend on his own for real.
I love the period of Sherlock Holmes that’s part of the charm for me with these movies but this one is just a splendid 1980’s movie that’s a perfect watch alongside “Murder by Decree” & “Young Sherlock Holmes” which is hands down my favorite Sherlock flick ever. Though the movie back in the 80’s received relatively poor reviews I think it’s charming little adventure. If you get the craving for more mysterious adventure make sure to check out this often overlooked lil’ gem!
Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter Trailer Finally Hits!
Ok so let me first say that I thought Abe Lincoln in reality was pretty much a total dickhead. Yeah normally when you think of him from what we “learned” in school he’s thought of as man who ended slavery. While that’s essentially true what is often not spoken of is the fact that he actually was a racist weenie.
Don’t believe it do a little quick research and you can find out how this jerk really felt about the whole situation here are a few of his words you can easily find in seconds upon searching:
“I will say then that I am not, nor ever have been in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the white and black races [the crowd applauds] – that I am not nor ever have been in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people, and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between the black and white races which I believe will forever forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together there must be the position of superior and inferior and I as much as any other man am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the white race.”
-Abraham Lincoln, 1858
Yeah what a prick huh? Well that kinda sours a movie hitting the theaters soon for me, Abraham Lincoln:Vampire Hunter. I just watched the trailer today and it looks pretty rad! This is obviously a fictionalized Lincoln, kinda like a What If? comic. Like what if Lincoln wasn’t a racist douche and actually fought vampires?!
I love the period of the movie and the fact that Russian director Tim Bekmambetov, who’s most well known for the Night Watch & Day Watch movies that were a good time, though not quite as epic as I had hoped they’d be. Also the movie is produced by Tim Burton, not that that means anything to anyone anymore after movies like Alice in Wonderland and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.So far it looks great and at the very least it’ll be a fun one in the theater…but really do we need more fictionalized versions of Lincoln the liberator? Not really but I’ll for two hours pretend this guy wasn’t a total A-hole…..
The New Spider-Man Trailer-What Do You Think?!
So yeah everyone is obviously talking about the new Amazing Spider-man trailer, by now I have watched it several times and I honestly think it looks alright! Now that’s not to say I am thrilled by this flick, I have to come clean here I am actually pretty damn sick of big budget Hollywood comic book movies. They are downright disposable and really don’t have a lot of staying power. I mean that by saying when seeing them a second time the initial thrill has worn off and these big budget plastic films are kind of a bore actually. They are pumped full of rubbery looking cg and safe predictable story lines.
So yeah the new Spider-man trailer looks slightly better that what I was expecting, if looks leaps better than Raimi’s shlock that’s for sure. I still don’t like the costume, you know the one Peter Parker made from a bunch of deflated basketballs? The Lizard looks ok so far, from what I can tell he’s either largely CG or entirely which doesn’t excite me the least. In fact most of the action sequences I have seen so far look like a video game. Garfield looks pretty good as Parker and it seems the story should at least be good upon first viewing. Oh yeah and kudos to them giving him his self invented web shooters!
I have to say though I would have loved for Marvel to bring a new super hero to life, perhaps Moon Knight, Doctor Strange, The Black Panther or Iron Fist even. Just personally kinda still not over the last three Spidey movies fully. So here we go again already, I will definitely be seeing this in the theaters but honestly I’m not totally stoked on the idea.
I am excited for The Avengers movie, mostly because of Whedon’s involvement, hoping that perhaps he brings us the memorable movie I have always dreamnt of. Lastly I really would like to see some smaller scale superhero movies made, something gritty and more real world feeling. Not real world as in realistic but rather something that doesn’t feel like a bunch of people in front of a green screen the entire movie. Something inventive, with feeling that really transplants you into the pages of a comic book…
Casey Jones / TMNT Movie!
Not sure if this is totally old news to all of you TMNT fans out there but it’s news to me, I just recently saw this awesome trailer for the fan made (Polaris & Hilarion Banks) Casey Jones movie! It looks pretty awesome actually and supposedly there is a whole film which I assume is a short film out there online for anyone to view for free. I went to the official website but I couldn’t get it to download. I will check it again later and see if I have better luck the second time. Supposedly it has Robbie Rist the original voice of Michaelangelo from the movies reprising his role and for anyone who doesn’t know he was also Cousin Oliver on the Brady Bunch!
Anyway I haven’t been able to find too much more info about this film but it looks great. I also heard finally that Michael Bay is rebooting the TMNT franchise?! Uggh please nooooo! That hack will yet ruin another one of my childhood favorites with his wretched CG ridden summer slop-buster mentality!
If we get a new Turtles film it had better be dark and gritty like the original series! In the meantime I’ll take this fan made version over any pile of steaming shit Bay tries to serve me!
Friday the 13th Meets The Karate Kid: 1985’s The New Kids!
This last Friday night I had myself a little movie night by myself, real exciting beginning to a weekend huh? Well that’s the life of a dork sometimes I guess. But honestly it could have been a total bust as I have learned many times as I am constantly taking chances on movies trying to find the hidden gems of yesteryear. Usually I end up with some total crap ass movies-the kind that aren’t even good in a bad way, but this time little did I know I was in for a treat!
Well my double feature started out pretty good with 1994’s Brainscan, starring Edward Furlong. This one turned out to be a pretty fun little movie where Furlong orders a new state of the art interactive “video game” from Fangoria magazine and it ends up subliminally turning him into a vicious killer. It also introduces one of the lameest movie monster villains I’ve seen in quite some time, the amazingly not scary at all “Trickster”.
This jerk off is about on par with The Wishmaster if you get my drift. Still it was a decent movie despite some really shitty 1994 CG.
The next movie however was the real deal, Sean “Friday the 13th” Cunningham’s movie “The New Kids” was a real treat all the way back from 1985.
The Krampus hits the Big Screen?!
Its Christmas season once again now and every year I wait for a cool unique new holiday movie to amaze me. Last year it was the awesome Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (which I recently watched and it was even better the second time around) and this year I am hoping to get a chance to see Dick Mass’ “Sint” if it gets a release here. But it seems every year I wait for someone to tell the creepy tale of The Krampus and it never happens!
Believe me an X-mas movie done tastefully about the Krampus would be quite a tale-but first if you don’t know the folklore of ol’ Krampa check out a blog I did a couple years ago to get acquainted with this Christmas creep.
So agreed the Krampus is quite a strange dude huh? A total holiday Hard Ass! But you can agree that a creepy x-mas movie would be awesome huh? My idea for a Krampus themed film would be almost like a “Home Alone” style movie, where the demon goes after the naughty kids on Christmas night until he meets his match with one naughty boy who gives the Krampus a beating that he will never forget Continue reading
Season’s Greetings from Sam!
If you missed the awesome “Trick ‘r Treat” from 2009 I suggest that you go out this Halloween season here, gear up with some sweets and check it out! It is easily one of the best new horror movies released in the past five years and the perfect one to watch on Halloween! The best part of the movie is by far when Brian Cox faces the lil’ Samhain – reminding me of an awesome 80’s lost episode of ‘Tales from the Darkside”. Also if by chance you end up renting the 1986 movie Trick or Treat, well you are also in for a campy treat as well-But this little short animated feature was one of the inspirations for the movie and the first appearance of Sam!
Take me to The Boneyard PLEASE!
Yesterday I purchased a movie off of Amazon.com that I have to say, I’m fucking PUMPED to get in the mail this week! I accidentally ran into this trailer yesterday while checking out a different movie a friend of mine claimed was on par with Troll 2 and the Room…instead however I found the trailer for 1991’s The Boneyard!!
I have got to say it’s very rare for me to hunt down a movie one the web the same evening and order it-but if you take the time to check this out you’ll clearly understand why I did so.
The movie also features Phyllis Diller (apparently this movie is the only one she’s starred in without her wig on) and Norman Fell, yeah Stanley Roper from Three’s Company!! Oh and I forgot to mention a giant monster Poodle! So I am hoping the movie is as cool as the trailer (which pretty much seems like it shows you the whole damn movie)-check this shit out!
Universal Dork 