The Last Stand: Zombies Invading Portland Oregon!

This last Friday I was out at a truely epic Bad Movie Night! Tons of fun was had, lots of junk food eaten, beer drank and cool people! Well aside from seeing two super stinkers as we watched the wretched “Hellgate” starring Horseshack from Welcome Back Kotter as the studly hero of this 5th rate horror flick and Jesse The Body Ventura’s super shitty action sci fi terd Abraxas I learned about a cool new web series being filmed right here in Portland Oregon! It turns out a couple of my buddies even star in it!

The Last Stand is a great little series made for lovers of zombies by lovers of zombies. Continue reading →

A Gossipy Bucky Cast In the Cap Film….

It seems the cast of Captain America is really coming together now. So so much so that just yesterday it was annouced that Gossip Girl’s Sebastian Stan will be playing  Cap’s legendary sidekick Bucky. I really wanted to touch on this yesterday but alas I worked all day then headed off to our epic official Bad Movie Night which was a blast! Anyway I guess Stan’s signed on for several movies and personally I think that can only really mean one thing, The Winter Soldier will most likely make an appearance in the upcoming Cap movies. Hey you’ve got to admit that’d make a dynamic movie! Heck Sebastian Stan could eventually become Cap himslef too as Bucky did in the comics.

I really honestly have no opinion on this move to cast him as I have never seen anything that he’s starred in! I know that he was in a supposedly awful movie called The Covenant and that he starred in some movie that Fred “Limp Bizkit” Durst dierected that I can only imagine must suck? I guess it is my responsibility to actually go check him out in some of these movies and decide for myself. Looks wise we seems fine as Bucky.

 I also hear that he’s in Hot Tub Time Machine as well which I also have not seen. Geez what a help I am here on this one huh? Either way I’m sure he’s right on par with Chris Evans as Cap. I at the very least am happy we didn’t have to wait out  the casting of Bucky too!!

Arnold Appears In The Expendables Trailer!

Ok so it really no mystery now that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis are appearing in The Expendables movie. It’s so much NOT a mystery that they both actually appear in the new trailer for the movie released today. I must say I have been excited for this movie now for a while since it’s been billed as an obvious throwback to the action movies of the 80’s. Think Cobra, Commando, Deathwish, Raw Deal and Die Hard. Back in a time where there was no CG, when there were real planes flying on the screen, real explosions and not a bunch of rubbery looking CG  characters on the screen doing back flips and cartwheels as seen in the ultra lame G.I. Joe movie and countless other loads of steaming shit. This is an actual great accomplishment from Sly whether you love the guy or hate him, he seems to know what’s been missing in action movies today. C’mon did you see the last Rambo movie? It was raw and realistic (ok so maybe not that realistic) but you get the idea. Sure Sly looks like he’s had some plastic surgery, been dying his hair and been pumped up on weird ass growth hormones but still the guys is bringing back what has been missing from the modern action movie: unrealistic realism! check it for yourself right here and remember he brought back Dolph Lungren to the big screen and tried to court an unwilling Van Damme to appear in this flick-how cool is that? The Expendables is gonna bring it all back-old school style!

Ok well not too sure about the “Nickleback” sounding song in the trailer but hopefully this will live up to the hype…

The Technicolor Nightmare Pt. 2: SUPER XUXA VS. SATAN!!!

Anyone who braves through JIMMY, THE BOY WONDER (the subject of Technicolor Nightmare 1) can theoretically tolerate a little singing and dancing. But where JIMMY is creepy as hell, XUXA is cuter than a sugar turd on a neon birthday cake.

SUPER XUXA VS. SATAN (A. Penido, 1988)

(Or SUPER XUXA CONTRA O BAIXO ASTRAL)

Xuxa Meneghel is a bonafide Brazilian superstar whose fame derives from a series of strange family films in the eighties. Some of my male friends have characterized her as “hot”. This film is the copycat little sister to LABYRINTH.

Super Xuxa, blonde and billowing with butt cleavage in a mini jumper, slathers joy like hair mayo everywhere she goes. Continue reading →

Late Night Laughs…

Well sometimes nights can get awfully boring for a dork late at night on a Monday in 2010. Sometimes even a little bit depressing and you find yourself grabbing a six pack of beer at 11:00 pm by yourself. Tonight I just decided I needed a drink so I got some Pabst and a lemon. Yeah well you know there’s nothing wrong with putting a lemon in your PBR! Really you can actually trick yourself into thinking you’re drinking some rad mexican beer with a little imagination. Anyway that’s a monday night really, what’s supposed to happen right? Let’s face it blogging is alot better with a few beers.

So I was thinking of things that might turn a dark cold rainy night in Portland Oregon a little bit brighter. I found a few clips that I think are pretty damn funny. First up is just a short clip from Family Guy that I think is one of the most funny moments ever put into any of the episodes. Being a big fan of Popeye too doesn’t hurt. Yeah I’m a fan of the live action movie too with Robin Williams. I don’t care what anyone says that movie is epic as shit! After I saw it as a kid I dressed up like Popeye and ran around the neighborhood with a can of green beans (I couldn’t find any real spinach in our pantry) like a maniac! Anway this clip is classic and certainly clears up any rumours about the mystery man that is Popeye…

Next is a clip from a movie that I think is easily one of the most funny movies of all time, Stir Crazy. Continue reading →

Bad Movie Night! Try It!

Well it’s that time of the year again where we have our sporadic but traditional BAD MOVIE NIGHT! Myself and fellow blogger Sheaehs are gearing up to show some real stinkers once again this Friday. It definately takes the right person to enjoy Bad Movie Night I will say. First you just have to have a sense of humor, second you gotta have some serious patience and third some wit to throw at the screen. Though it’s not neccessary you might also wanna have a six pack to make the experience more bearable if the movie is just a flat out stinkin’ flaming turd! So far we’ve had some good picks that were pretty damn enjoyable! Some features included: She, The Guyver, Dungeonmaster, My Demon Lover, Mac & Me, The Roger Corman version of the Fantastic Four and The Eliminators just to respectively name a few. 

This time we’re gearing up with two movies that will hopefully have the audience’s brains melting! My selection thus far is Abraxas: Guardian of the Galaxy, starring Jesse The Body Ventura! Now I have never actually seen this movie but have wanted to for years and just recently acquired it on dvd at the local Goodwill. This movie looks pretty damn bad and I might have to do a sneak peak before hand just to make sure it really delivers the suck. This is what the 1990 movie poster looked liked:

Continue reading →

Let’s Get Ready To Rumble! The Greatest Cartoon Brawls Part 6!

So in my opinion The Secret of  Nimh could easily be the best animated movie ever! It really doesn’t get any better- an epic, intellegent story, Don Bluth‘s absolutley stunning animation and some serious ass kicking action to boot!

Seriously rewatch this movie if you haven’t seen it in a while and you WILL not be let down! I wish we could get Bluth back to focus on another amazing movie- let’s not forget he animated Dragon’s Lair and Space Ace too both incredible classic 80’s arcade games! Unfortunately I wasn’t able to find a fight sequence of better quality to put here-but the final battle between the evil rat Jenner & the heroic Justin is one of the best cartoon battles ever!

Bryan Singer Disappointing X-men Fans Once Again…..

I heard today that Bryan Singer is now officially off of the X-men: First Class movie. It seems there were scheduling problems with his other project “Jack The Giant Killer”. He will however stay on as producer for the X-men film which at least means he will have some hand in the movie’s final outcome. I don’t put to much faith in the upcoming X-men related movies anymore after we got the Third film and then the absolutely wretched Wolverine flick. The X-men First Class movie will follow the early days of them X-men most likely with new young hip actors cast in the roles of the X-men. I seriously wonder what team mebers will make up the original team here as for some reason Ice-man was made a teenager in the movie franchise and the Angel didn’t even really “join” until the third film.

Personally I could really care less about the “First Class” movie now. I am honestly more excited about Singer doing Jack the Giant Killer. Continue reading →

Hi I’m Michael Cera & I Only Know How to Play One Character!!

I am not sure if you have all heard the hype on the upcoming “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World”, directed by Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) but just today the official trailer was released. I have been pretty excited about what Mr. Wright was going to do next as his last two films were pretty damn amazing. So I just checked out the trailer for the new flick, which is based on the comic series of the same name (put out by Portland Oregon based indie comic publisher Oni Press) and I must say the  trailer looks like a pretty good time! However one thing kinda urks me a bit, the fact that we have Michael Cera once again as “George Michael” in the movie!

Yeah we’ve the got the kinda shy, kinda awkward, kinda quirky Cera back again as the same damn charcter he’s played in well……EVERYTHING Continue reading →

The Liquorice Jujyfruit?! What gives?!

Ok some people might not think this is worthwhile subject of a blog but you know what I don’t care! First off let me proclaim that I love candy!  I will find any excuse to eat candy-alot of the time I justify eating it when I watch a movie-because everyone eats candy while watching a movie right? RIGHT! So I have had one gripe with one of my favorite candies, JUJYFRUITS! Oh man, I could eat Jujyfruits all day long! But there is just one thing that has bothered me for years that I never really expressed to anyone before-why is the damn purple Jujyfruit licorice flavored?? It states it’s a fruit flavored candy-shouldn’t it be grape?? I know this candy has been around for like 200 years but really-this isn’t Jujyroot candy! Licorice is not a fruit! Now don’t get me wrong I actually LIKE the licorice Jujyfruit alot it’s just a bit odd when you’re eating the lime or orange flavor and then you suddenly got the black licorice flavor screwin’ up the program in your mouth! That’s total tastebud deception!!

They changed a flavor in 1999 when apparently Mint was  included in the mix. Apparently they got alot of complaints about the mint flavor-well DOYE! Yeah, good move taking mint out of the mix- that digusting flavor ruined the whole damn party time and time again! Who thought that was a good “fruit” flavor to add to the mix? Do the people at the Heide candy company even understand what a fruit is??! Anyway the shapes of the Jujyfruits candies are listed on their wikipedia page as- Pineapple, Tomato, Raspberry, Grape Bundle, Asparagus Bundle, Banana, and Pea Pod. What the HELL is that all about?? Who the hell was in charge of this fucked up situation?? Tomato???! Asparagus bundle and………..PEA POD?? WTF? Well it’s clear there’s no rhyme or reason to the operation down at the Heide candy company! I officially give up!!