Tagged: Movie
‘The Final Girls’ Transports Us Back In Time to a 1980’s Supernatural Slasher Flick! !
Have you seen the full trailer for the upcoming horror comedy “The Final Girls”!! This one’s been on my radar for quite some time now and with Halloween around the corner I’m super pumped on some great new horror flicks! This one will be released October 9th! Tomorrow!!

Here’s the synopsis:

Please Don’t Bring Darth Vader Back from the Dead!!
We’ve all heard the rumor mill this week about all things Star Wars all the damn time 24/7. To be completely honest I’m trying to avoid as much of all that as I possibly can-I would really like to see Episode 7 without knowing the whole damn plot and every one of it’s secrets ahead of time! Remember when you used to see a movie and it was a total surprise? Now days every website is trying cash in on spoilers & rumors on our favorite movies. However when I saw the rumor posted that Hayden Christensen is in training to return as Darth Vader in Episode 8 I couldn’t resist.

I’m really hoping that this is just one big fat lie. Not because I dislike the prequels (which I totally do) but I really think it’s time to let go of good ol’ Lord Vader. Yeah he was an amazing villain, one of the best, most iconic of all time. But let’s face it his story has been told and his demise was perfect, bringing him back from the dead would only diminish how important his role was in the entire saga!!

It’s a “do it merely to cash in” move that puts pleasing the fans above a compelling story. Let’s face it too, Darth Vader IS dead! We even saw George Lucas replace Sebastian Shaw with Hayden Chistensen’s version of “ghost” Anakin back in his “improved” version of Return of the Jedi.

I’m also totally ok with bringing back Actors like Ewan Mcgregor to play Obi-Wan Kenobi in spin-off flicks. So no I’m not just prequel hatin’! Let’s move forward with Star Wars, keep little bits of the old but we really are fully capable of having a new villain again who’s just as potent as Darth Vader! I mean I’d like Hayden to get one more chance to really redeem himself in the role – But what do you think? You want to see Darth Vader back from the dead in the flesh? Could they do it tastefully?
Ahhh the 1980’s When You Could Call Freddy Krueger on the Telephone?! Those Were the Days…
There’s been a lot of talk lately about another rebooted Nightmare on Elm Street flick getting ready to be made, hell we’ve even had Robert Englund telling us he thinks it’s going to be a “Dream Warriors” remake. Well you know how I feel about it, just get Robert Englund back as Freddy dammit! What’s the problem Hollywood are you all braindead?!

Anyway thinking about good ol’ Fred got me thinking about the old 1980’s and how when you got bored on a Saturday night you always had the option of giving the dream demon himself a call on the telephone! Yep that was thing back then call up Freddy and have him tell you some scary ass stories! Of course I never actually called, but I always wanted to!! So I checked on Youtube and sure as shit there were the commercials! 1-900-909-FRED! Yeah he really was always there for us teens back then!!
Oh yeah and in the 1980’s Freddy even appeared on Dramarama records! Whatta guy!

WTF?! Did M. Night Shyamalan Just Make the Best Horror Flick of 2015?!
Well, well, well, I must admit I didn’t see this coming! Yeah I’m a bit perplexed myself at just how much I liked M. Night Shyamalan’s new movie “The Visit”!! I am going to go as far to say it’s quite possibly the best horror movie I’ve seen thus far in 2015. Some major contenders were “It Follows”, “The Babadook” and “We Are Still Here” but I’d certainly put The Visit up against any of those. I alway knew Night had it in him somewhere to make a full on horror movie and this time around he certainly went the distance. This is easily the darkest of any film he’s ever done and it proves that he shines on a smaller stage, with a smaller budget. Night should stay far as far away from the summer blockbuster territory as he possibly can. I also think he’s invented a new style of horror flick “Senior Citizen Terror”!!

The Visit is not only a return to form, but it’s also a transformation for the film maker. It show’s in a way that he’s grown up a bit and has become a bit more of a risk taker. He’s willing to scare the shit out of you this time around, pulling no punches like he did previously. I’ve always suspected if he let loose he’d be able to craft something really genuinely scary. You know how most of his movies reach the final act and they get kinda….family friendly? Well this one goes to some dark places and then some. In fact there are some scenes in this movie that you will NEVER be able to erase from your memory. A bold statement for any horror flick but it seems M. Knight was done fucking around this time. The guy has had a quite a string of clunkers under his belt recently and it goes to prove a point, never underestimate a guy who’s down on his luck with nothing really left to lose.

The Visit really shines in it’s simple plot. Two kids go to visit their grandparents which they’ve never met because of a falling out that their mother had with them when she was much younger. So really it’s a bit of a story of trying to forgive and forget the past and hopefully move on. And really, we all can relate to being a little kid staying with grandparents, no matter how sweet they were they always seem a bit odd especially through the eyes of a child. Of course the plot thickens when Granny and Gramps do start acting a bit odd during the daytime really fucking weird when the sun goes down!

This movie has got some great acting as well and the movie’s real stars are definitely the young boy played by Ed Oxenbould and his grandmother played by Deanna Dunagan. The Visit surprisingly also is one of the few modern horror flicks that really puts children in serious fucking danger, which is something you rarely see in this day and age. So kudos to Shyamalan for having the guts to go the distance here. It’s really best if you know as little as possible about this one as it’s packed with surprises and yes….a damn good twist!

Last my only real complaint at all is the found footage route Night decided to go with this. I’ll admit I wasn’t thrilled about the idea going into it all. Seeming at first a little late to the party perhaps, he really does utilize this medium quite well to tell the story. He does it so well with no creepy score that this feels pretty damn realistic when all is said and done. He also blends some great comedy throughout somehow that works leap and bounds better than any movie he’s tried to pull this in before. So final thought, I’d say it’s safe to say M. Night Shyamalan is back. Scarier, bolder and riskier than ever before and I hope this time he’s realized he’s at his best when trying to scare the shit out of us.
This Christmas Will Be a Full On Battle of the Krampuses!!
Finally we’ve gotten the official trailer for Michael Dougherty’s upcoming Christmas horror flick simple titled “Krampus” and it looks amazing!!! I’m so stoked for this film this Christmas I’d put it directly behind ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ as the movie I’ve been most excited for in 2015. Dougherty’s the guy responsible for the incredible 2007 Halloween themed movie ‘Trick R Treat’. If you’ve seen that then you know he’s got the skills to give us an incredible holiday horror movie!

Yep I’ve waited it seems my whole life for a proper Krampus horror movie, let’s face it, it’s completely absurd that it’s somehow taken this long to get one. If you’ve yet to see this trailer check it out right now:
But wait! Dougherty’s ‘Krampus’ flick has an opponent this year in the form another movie which features Krampus as one of it’s main antagonists, ‘A Christmas Horror Story’ is also slated for release this year! Not only does this movie feature Krampus, but also features William Shatner and a horde of evil zombie elves who attack Santa Claus! This one also seems to feature, by a split second in the trailer a battle between Santa and muthfukin’ Krampus!! Ahhhh!
This year we’ve got some good ones to look forward to that’s for sure. So I’m a bit torn thus far on which one will be the “definitive” Krampus flick. My gut tells me Dougherty’s is going to be the clear victor as I’m digging the look so far of Krampus in his movie as huge hulking frightening monster while in ‘A Christmas Horror Story’ he looks totally fierce but more of a man beast bodybuilder dude. I’ve also heard Kevin Smith had a Krampus movie in the works (but maybe he decided to jump ship as the competition got fierce) and also that Jim Henson studios were developing one called “Happy Krampus”. My guess is we won’t be seeing these until next year. So what do you think? Which of the two Krampus movies do YOU think will emerge victorious in this year’s battle of the Krampuses?!!
Get Gay and Have a Laugh With ‘The Benefits of Gusbandry’!
This last Friday I attended the Portland Film Festival late night short film block and saw a ton of great lil’ flicks! One of my favorites of the batch was “The Benefits of Gusbandry” which made it’s premiere that very night. This short film is actually part of a much bigger series that launched today online several places. What you might ask exactly is gusbandry? Short and simple, combine two words “gay + husband” and voila and you got a gusband, but in this unique case it’s much more than that. I don’t wanna give away too much of first episode’s plot, so I’ll leave it at that for the moment.

The first episode though was shot right here in Portland, Oregon, directed and written by fellow Portlander Alicia Rose. She’s been responsible for some of the coolest music videos of the last decade for the likes of Bob Mould, MC Frontalot & The Corin Tucker Band to name a few. This project however will have a longer life of its own as we’ll get eight episodes – one each month and hopefully more to follow in a second season. You’ll not only get an awesome tour of typical Portland life in the series but it seems you’ll get it jam packed with some great offbeat comedy with a heart of gold. Check this cool new debut episode which is sure to teach us a few valuable lessons about getting older and trying to find your “Mr. Right” in a these confusing modern times…
OMG! Have You Seen the Boring “New” Jeremy Renner Hawkeye Costume?!!
I’ve seen the big hype all over lately about Jeremy Renner’s “new” Hawkeye costume for the upcoming Civil War movie and you know what….so WHAT of if?! If they really wanted to impress us comic book fans they could have done waaaay better than that! When I first saw the headlines I was actually really really excited! In my mind I was fully ready to see this:

Or This:

but in reality something like this most likely:

But instead it was..yawn..this…

Ok so now that picture above isn’t really bad at all, it’s just really nothing new. In fact Isn’t that pretty much what he’s been wearing in every other movie? So everyone please calm down about Hawkeye’s new costume, it’s really nothing to get your undies in a bundle over, at least if you’re a long time fan of the comic book character. Peace!!
Coming Soon: An Even Longer R-Rated Cut of The Bloated Hobbit Flick? No Thank You!!
Oh man so today I heard we’re going to get an R-Rated version of the super bloated Peter jackson Hobbit films? This means really that “The Battle of the Five Armies” will have an extended R-Rated cut. This will likely feature a ton more outrageous CG, B.S. subplots and hey maybe if we’re lucky some really intense scenes of highly exaggerated digital computerized blood splatter!!

By now we all know that the three Hobbit movies were pretty much a bunch of steaming dragon shit. A cash grab rather than Jackson actually making a good movie. It also solidified my opinion on Jackson and my excitement for another Peter Jackson movie is at this point nonexistent. To think too that he was once one of my favorite film makers. It’s strange how fame and money can change someone’s film making abilities isn’t it?

Well if this news make you even more depressed about the Hobbit films then I suggest (if you haven’t already) check out Tolkien Editor where you can get the scoop on “The Tolkien Edit” of the flick. This cool blogger goes on to say “So, over the weekend, I decided to condense all three installments (An Unexpected Journey, The Desolation of Smaug and The Battle of the Five Armies) into a single 4-hour feature that more closely resembled Tolkien’s original novel. Well, okay, it’s closer to 4.5 hours, but those are some long-ass credits! This new version was achieved through a series of major and minor cuts”

Sounds like a much needed change to the Hobbit movies. I really wonder if this new edit might actually work as the movie we should have gotten all along? I’m pumped to check this out as I can see a good movie somewhere in Jackson’s fat bloated mess of trilogy. I’ll give it a shot!!
Here’s the edited version of the barrel ride sequence, the bloated beyond belief original theatrical sequence gave me a major headache in the theater and still continues to piss me off to this day…but this here puts a smile on my face-check it..
Calling ALL Fans of John Carpenter’s ‘THE THING’!! Sign This Petition!!
I’ve bitched and moaned here about my complete and utter disappointment for the 2011 version of ‘The Thing’, the prequel to Carpenter’s classic 1982 monster movie! To refresh your memory we were originally promised a movie that would not only be a prequel but also give us the same style of mind blowing practical creature effects the awed us way back in ’82. Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’ in my opinion is maybe the best creature feature of all time.

Yeah effects wizards at ADI (Amalgamated Dynamics Inc.) spent a ton of time and effort creating some truly astonishing practical creature FX for the movie only to have nearly ALL of them omitted from the final theatrical version of the film. Instead they gave us fans exactly what we DID NOT want, a bunch of slick, fake looking CGI in it’s place. This was a nightmare come true for all fans of the original. Well now it seems that that someone has decided to create a petition directed straight at the CEO of Universal Pictures Ronald Meyer. The petition is asking for what the fans wanted all along, the release of the work print of the 2011 film with all of the original practical monster effects that ADI worked so hard to bring us fans of the original!

This is a superb idea and something i have wondered about for so long. What would that film have looked like in it’s original form? Well now it’s time to demand that we see the film we were promised! If you’ve seen some of the Youtube videos of these FX then you know how incredible this movie just may have been!
So all of you Thing fans out there please take a minute to sign this petition and lets get the version of the prequel we all had been hoping for once and for all you can sign the Change.org petition right HERE! What are you waiting for?!
Green Room : Oregon Punk Rockers Battle Patrick Stewart’s Neo Nazi Skinhead Gang!
I’m totally excited to see ‘Green Room‘, the follow up to Jeremy Saulnier’s awesome revenge flick Blue Ruin due out later this year. The movie was filmed right here (where I live) in Portland Oregon and the surrounding wilderness. It features Anton Yelchin (Star Trek’s Chekov) as a member of a Punk rock band that strays into a secluded part of the Pacific Northwest to play a underground venue. If you’ve seen Blue Ruin already you know Sauliner’s got the chops to give a mean, gritty adventure that’s not your average cookie cutter Hollywood flick.

So far the reviews for this movie hail it as a throwback to the 80’s as the young punk band “The Ain’t Rights” show up at the punk rock gig at an odd venue out in the boonies only to find they’re playing on a bill that caters to a local neo Nazi scene in rural Oregon.
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They decide against all better judgement to rip into a cover of the Dead Kennedys’ classic “Nazi Punks Fuck Off” and from that point on all hell breaks loose as they witness a act of violence and are targeted by the racist punk horde.
The night becomes a fight for their life against the neo Nazi skinhead gang lead by none other than Patrick Stewart (Now that I’ve gotta see). This sounds like a awesome unique premise for a rural survival flick that’s bound to be quite a tense thriller! Sign me up, as long as the Nazi punks get exactly what they deserve in the end, fingers crossed!
