Tagged: The Hobbit

Coming Soon: An Even Longer R-Rated Cut of The Bloated Hobbit Flick? No Thank You!!

Oh man so today I heard we’re going to get an R-Rated version of the super bloated Peter jackson Hobbit films? This means really that “The Battle of the Five Armies” will have an extended R-Rated cut. This will likely feature a ton more outrageous CG, B.S. subplots and hey maybe if we’re lucky some really intense scenes of highly exaggerated digital computerized blood splatter!!

By now we all know that the three Hobbit movies were pretty much a bunch of steaming dragon shit. A cash grab rather than Jackson actually making a good movie. It also solidified my opinion on Jackson and my excitement for another Peter Jackson movie is at this point nonexistent. To think too that he was once one of my favorite film makers. It’s strange how fame and money can change someone’s film making abilities isn’t it?

Well if this news make you even more depressed about the Hobbit films then I suggest (if you haven’t already) check out Tolkien Editor where you can get the scoop on “The Tolkien Edit” of the flick. This cool blogger goes on to say “So, over the weekend, I decided to condense all three installments (An Unexpected Journey, The Desolation of Smaug and The Battle of the Five Armies) into a single 4-hour feature that more closely resembled Tolkien’s original novel. Well, okay, it’s closer to 4.5 hours, but those are some long-ass credits! This new version was achieved through a series of major and minor cuts”

Sounds like a much needed change to the Hobbit movies. I really wonder if this new edit might actually work as the movie we should have gotten all along? I’m pumped to check this out as I can see a good movie somewhere in Jackson’s fat bloated mess of trilogy. I’ll give it a shot!!

Here’s the edited version of the barrel ride sequence, the bloated beyond belief original theatrical sequence gave me a major headache in the theater and still continues to piss me off to this day…but this here puts a smile on my face-check it..

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Paperless Table Top D&D: The Ipad Takes Over the Dungeon?!

So I arrived at my weekly D&D session this last sunday, ready to play a brand new adventure, stepping down from the throne of being the Dungeonmaster & eager to finally play a game as a PC! As I entered the room I saw the usual suspects getting the table set up for the first night of the new game, however something was different, there were four Ipad/tablet stands set up on the table in from of each seat where there might usually be some folders a stack of papers and some players handbooks, monster manuals etc. At first sight it kinda shocked me but then I quickly realized my group had decided to make the tech savy switch from the middle ages straight into the modern world!

I had sat down with my stack of papers and newly hand drawn pictures of my character, the rest of the group said “Check out this app we are using for d&d now it’s amazing!” they all began to show me their characters, all neatly on their Ipad screens and I’ve gotta say it was quite impressive. No more pencil scribbles, wine stains or candle wax upon a weathered piece of paper. Press the tabs on the screen and it tells you all you need to know, instantly calculates your hit points, heck it even rolls a dice on screen for you when you press a tab! The next question was “are you gonna bring your Ipad and get this App or what?!” I responded that I spend enough time as it is looking at computer screens, smart phones and my Ipad at home that I wasn’t quite ready to integrate it into my world of D&D just yet!

So what’s the damn problem huh?! Should I just drop this old school pen and paper attitude already?! Get with the damn times with my D&D? I mean, does anyone even use pen and paper for table top RPG’s anymore?! Do people even roll real dice? The last game I DM’d I had a giant stack of papers, and a ton of books piled around me! It was a frantic scene of animated movement as I paged through books checking rules while role playing all the NPC’s like a damn madman! So now our new DM is equipped with an Ipad and stated the fact that in this day and age you don’t even need books to play the game anymore. It’s true, but part of that make me a bit sad in a way. There’s something quite charming about the old school pencil and paper game, where you might have to add and subtract on a piece of paper, erase some stuff with a rubbery eraser or write down your new magic item with a page number next to it.

In a way it feels like the only way to play for me, I almost imagine myself transported back to 1970’s when the game had some mystery behind it still and the religious fanatics thought it was causing people to worship Satan. But It clearly ain’t the 70’s and I suppose it’s only a matter of time before I get on the ol’ Ipad bandwagon and bring my trusty hi-tech tablet along to the game of swords & sorcery. Paper books are surely on their way to becoming extinct, all music now is downloaded, comics are headed to digital downloads and let’s face it there a motherfuckin’ “app” for pretty much anything and everything you can imagine these days. For the mean time, I know I’m dying breed of  D&D player, a bit like I’m actually living in the dark ages and for the moment i’m going to relish in it, but man I gotta admit those Ipad apps sure do look slick…now if I really wanted to be shocked I guess I could have walked into this:

 

Aragorn Get’s Life in ‘PRISON’!

The totally awesome and long forgotten “Prison” from 1988 has finally gotten a proper DVD release! This little gem of a movie is a real 80’s treat jam packed with cool effects, gore and some great actors to boot! Viggo “Lord of the Rings” Mortensen stars in this supernatural horror romp as a prisoner ordered to knock down a wall to an execution room where a former convict died for a crime he didn’t commit. Well as you can imagine this releases his angry spirit into a path of pure mayhem throughout the prison walls. Apparently this movie features real ex-cons too adding to it’s “realism”.

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It’s been a long time since i have seen this flick but I am sure as hell looking forward to revisiting it! This one was directed by Renny Harlin who is also responsible for movies like ‘Die Hard 2’, ‘Nightmare on Elm St 4: The Dreammaster’, ‘The Adventures of Ford Fairlane’ (uggh remember that one with The Dice Man?) and that terrible prequel from the Exorcist from 2004 just to name a few. But all that aside, check out the trailer and look for it as it was released Feb. 19th on Blu-Ray/DVD via Shout Factory.

Older Movies With Bad CGI! I Call for a Special Effects Do Over!

Ever watch a movie a great movie with terrible CG? Of course you have! I’m not sure about you but they really tend to bother me. Movies that are so good but the CG skills just weren’t up to par and just leave you with an empty feeling inside. There’s tons of movies that fit into this category and as I recently rewatched “The Frighteners”, one of Peter Jackson’s best films, I had an idea. What if Weta were to redo the CG effects in that film? What if they released it as say the ‘Ultimate Edition” or whatever lame new name they could come up with. Imagine how much better that movie would hold up today if the CG was tweaked?

I think a LOT of movies in the 1990’s and even in to the 2000’s sufferered from a case of “not quite ready” CG. Some of those movies were pretty damn good too. Let’s take a movie like “The Mist” which is one of my faves, however the CG in the movie is laughable and when it hit’s the screen I cringe every time. But what if they had a few people touch it up? Or redo it all together? Imagine The Mist with better effects. Would there be an outcry from fans? Would people say “how dare they” like when Lucas added all of his extra bullshit to the original Star Wars trilogy? Or do people hold their terrible CG effects sacred like us old Horror buffs do with the practical old school effects of the 70’s and 80’s? An interesting question I’d like to know the answer to I think.

Hell Lucas could even do over the CG in episodes 1-3! I wouldn’t even make a peep! In fact since he likes adding shit constantly to his old films I say we start a campaign to get him to ad respectable CG to all of those films! Honestly that CG was some of the worst shit I have ever seen. So what do all of you think? Do you stand by the terrible computer generated effects of the earlier years? Do you hold them sacred? Close to your heart? Or would you like to see maybe just how they should have could look today? I mean nothing would have to be re-shot they could simply erase the old. I could be onto something? Or perhaps just crazy…

Saruman Delivers Some Power Metal for X-mas!!

Damn Christopher Lee is a bad ass. He’s played so many great roles in so many great movies and what some people don’t know is that he also makes metal albums! Yeah believe it. He has two out now I believe and his latest efforst is a power metal Christmas album! So everyone out there complaining about lame Christmas songs can shut the fuck up and blast this record as Lee gives us his brilliant take on classic Holiday songs gone metal-check this shit out!

The Hobbit’s Animal Cruelty Allegations-What are the Facts?

This has got to be some of the most unsettling movie news I have heard in a long, long time. Allegations of major animal cruelty have been cast upon Peter Jackson and his crew while filming the first installment of the mega blockbuster ‘The Hobbit’ just over two weeks before the film’s set to debut here in the United States. This is terrible news as this movie has been one of my most anticipated if not most anticipated films for years.

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Peter Jackson has been a favorite of mine since ‘Bad Taste’ and The Lord of the Rings trilogy being one of my top 3 favorite films ever. But The Hobbit is being blamed for twenty seven animal deaths some being horses goats and chickens. Here’s what I has been reported so far via Huffington Post:

“Animal wranglers involved in the making of “The Hobbit” movie trilogy say the production company is responsible for the deaths of up to 27 animals, largely because they were kept at a farm filled with bluffs, sinkholes and other “death traps.”

The American Humane Association however, which is overseeing animal welfare on the films, says no animals were harmed during the actual filming. But it also says the wranglers’ complaints highlight shortcomings in its oversight system, which monitors film sets but not the facilities where the animals are housed and trained.”

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Jackson and the films producers reject these accusations saying that no animals were mistreated during the filming of the Hobbit. This however may be true but where the animals were housed at, a farm nearby, is where these animals died. Apparently the farm was wasn’t fenced properly and the bluff and sinkholes are where many of the animals died. There were also reports of chicken maulings by dogs and many instances were due too poor oversight of the animals. There have also been allegations that the animals feed was causing deaths as well.

Several stars of the film like Elijah Wood claim that this is merely a reaction from angry wranglers who were let go from the film trying sabotage the release. He claims he never witnessed any animals being harmed. However I really doubt Elijah was hanging out at the farm where they were kept too often.

It seems to me that this story has been kept thus far for the most part incredibly quiet, I only heard about it first last night and the story broke almost a week and a half ago. It could be the studio keeping it as hush hush as possible as to not deter people from seeing the movie. Or maybe I am just out of the loop. Personally this is a story I want to follow as it does affect my decision of supporting the movie. This films budget was over $500 million dollars, I can’t believe that Jackson and crew were unable to keep these animals safe, because at the end of the day at least 27 animals died due to being involved with this movie. Protests of the movie’s premiere are already being organized all over the world. What do you think? Could this affect whether you see The Hobbit?