Tagged: arnold schwarzenegger

Chuck Norris Brings Us The Expendables 2…..For Kids?!!

What the HELL?! I was pumped about The Expendables 2 – I really enjoyed the first one and I really loved most of all that it was a throwwback to movies like Commando, Cobra and Delta Force of the 80’s. However I felt there was still something missing from the first installment-that’s where the hope for a perfect throwback action film was invested in the sequel. The sequel which now adds Ah-nold and Bruce Willis in larger roles also boasts the addition of Jean Claude Van damme and Chuck Norris to it’s ranks. It all sounded absolutley perfect until today when it was announced that the movie would be getting a PG-13 rating!!! What the hell!?? Who’s responsible for this B.S. move you ask?!

Well none other than Chuck Norris!!! Supposedly he signed on to the movie only if it would be “kid friendly”. He is opposed apparently to any foul language or cursing that could offend children. Well I don’t need to hear everyone cursing every five seconds, that’s not what worries me-it honestly the gore level that concerns me-I mean did you all see the last Rambo movie?! Now that was one crazy comically gory action movie-Sly delivered the goods. The Expendables was pretty damn over the top too-but with this movie Sly promised it’d be the comically violent, over the top, dumb, one liner action flick everyone was hoping for from the start. Unfortunately Norris had to go and get all Walker Texas Ranger on us all with The Expendables 2….hmmm… well now actually that could end up being pretty damn fun. We’ll see I guess but one thing I never thought was that the sequel was going to go soft on us…In the end this could be more what The Expendables 2 end up playing out as!

Mutant Hunt’s Matt Riker Has Got All the Wrong Moves!!

Wow I have just finished watching “Mutant Hunt” a movie I have wanted to see since I was a kid! This movie was worth the wait, if you are a fan of superhumanly bad movies like I am-especially ones that are really trying hard to cool. Well 1987’s Mutant Hunt delivers the suck in a HUGE way! First off I have to mention that when I was a kid I used to see this one at the video store all the time, the cover was always one of my favorites, I’m sure there were a few people fooled into renting this back in the day expecting something as rad as The Terminator, what they got though may be just as enjoyable. Besides what more could you ask for? It’s got hot babes, Matt Riker’s steamy sex appeal, mutant cyborgs, 80’s punks and lots of kung fu!! Aounds like a winner huh?

Look this movie follows a story of an evil mastermind named Z who turns an army of cyborgs against the people of Manhattan, while holding their inventor prisoner. Supposedly he’s given them violent sexual urges, however not one cyborg does anything remotely riske throughout the entire flick! However Matt Riker, ace martial arts master / cyborg hunter surely gets his fair share of action!! Yes Matt Riker is the handsome stud who’s got some of the most awful karate moves I have ever seen! Don’t believe me check this SHIT out as he kicks cyborg ass in his tightie whitey’s!!

In fact pretty much everyone in this movie seems to be mentally challenged when it comes to hand to hand combat-believe me there’s a ton of it in here too thank god! Also it seems that the cyborgs wear black sunglasses because we all know that’s clearly a cyborg fashion trend of the 80’s and have arms that grow and stretch, um stretch very very very slowly that is. There’s a pretty rad cyborg though that’s got most of his face ripped open that’s pretty rad who hangs out for most of the movies final act, this must have been a lot of the movies budget along with the cool cover art. The movie’s cover also suggests the movie was “too gory for the silver screen” but that’s not the case here folks-it was merely too shitty for the silver screen! Clocking in at under 75 minutes this one’s bound to be a crowd pleaser and one that Mystery Science Theater 3000 would have had a blast with…

Chuck Norris Really is Expendable!

So here’s a picture from the next Expendables movie currently filming with none other than Chuck Norris! I was actually doubting that he was going to be in the sequel, well because that’d be too damn awesome! But alas here he is in the flesh at 71 years old! So now I wonder if Chuck will be pulling out any of his classic moves in this flick? Can he still kick ass? Time will tell I suppose but I have to say my childhood self is  getting pretty pumped for  this all star cast-this movie is going to be pure loud dumb awesome nostalgia!! Served just the way I like it….

Top 5 Action Stars for The Expendables 2!

So it’s been confirmed that The Expendables 2 is a go and now what everyone is wondering is who is going to be added to this list of action stars for the second time around? Well all you out there in Hollywood take a seat and listen up-here’s who you gotta put in the next movie! Now I’m only adding people from the 80’s to this list-if you take my advice you’ll definately give the people what they were really hoping for out of the first one-big dumb one liners, lots of real explosions and a lot of fun! I have also just recently heard that Bolo Yeung may possibly be appearing in the sequel-and I have to say if so we’re on the right track here-brilliant!!

1. Chuck Norris – Ok so maybe Chuck is a little old as he just turned 71-but who the hell cares! I am sure he could still throw down a little bit right? Or maybe he could be an evil mastermind or an old wise good guy? I really don’t care just get Walker’s ass in this movie now! Lets not forget how much of a bad ass good ol’ Chuck is!

2. Michael Dudikoff – Ok did all you guys forget about American Ninja? Avenging Force? Dudikoff was the master action star of the 80’s who’s often forgotten! This guys kicked so much serious ass in the 80’s he deserves another shot in the big leagues-he’s only 56 yeah only 56-that’s almost 10 years younger than Sly!

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Don’t Remake-Give These Top 10 Movies a Sequel!!

I am so SICK of bad remakes of movies that I grew up loving! It is though now kinda fun to see just how low they will go and what they’ll try and remake next. It seems though perhaps Hollywood is finally catching on now that most of these remakes are box office bombs! They maybe seeing that the real interest still lays within sequels to our beloved movies! We’ve already gotten a few, love em’ or hate em’ you gotta admit they were fun to wonder & wait for!

Let’s see, we’ve already gotten recent sequels to Rocky, Rambo (Great job on both Stallone!), Indiana Jones, Terminator(more or less though they should have gotten Edward Furlong or Nick Stahl in the lead) The Lost Boys (Hey I kinda liked the third one!) & Tron. We all know these movies are best served with their original directors too! Now there’s news today on a new sequel for Poltergeist with the surviving actors reprising their roles! How cool would that be?! Well it got me thinkin’…what are the top 10 movies that deserve a sequel? Well look no further this is my wish list! Continue reading →

The Terminator Finally Returns!

So it seems that the news is out on Arnold returning to acting today! I say It’s about time! Enough with the politics already!! Let’s take a quick moment to think about what Ah-nold should do next! We have to figure he’s now 63 years old so his roles may not be quite what they used to be-although if he’s going to do a follow up to one of his action movies NOW is the time before he gets way way too damn old to do any of them.

I say give him a few months to get into shape and put him in the next Expendables movie-he could be a villain or even face off against Stallone! That seems pretty likely actually. Although I could also see him turning up on the Predator hunting planet as an older Dutch and helping Adrien Brody kick some alien be-hind!

But my hopes really are that he will reprise the role of Conan in a movie he had been rumored for years to be possibly making: King Conan. He would be perfect in this role as the aged King set off on one last adventure. Personally that’s the role I am hoping for and I know people are already buzzing about it too. What I’m not hoping for is for him to now only take serious roles because he thinks he’s too old. Whatever the case I’m stoked to hear he’s back and cross my fingers for at least one more “Classic Arnold” role…..

Barbarians! Barbarians! Barbarians!

I was just reminded of a wretchedly epic movie from the 80’s this week called “The Barbarians” from fellow part-time dork Eljamez. I haven’t seen this movie since I was a kid and to be honest don’t remember much of it at all. I can remember seeing the vhs cover to this movie at the video store when I was a kid and then finally seeing it over at a friend’s house as we were all about Conan The Barbarian.

 At the time we probably thought this movie was the raddest shit EVER. Today however I’d probably enjoy it in a much different light as you will be able to tell by the preview, it ain’t exactly an academy award nominee! However you will notice Optimus Prime is narrating! RAD!

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Arnold Appears In The Expendables Trailer!

Ok so it really no mystery now that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis are appearing in The Expendables movie. It’s so much NOT a mystery that they both actually appear in the new trailer for the movie released today. I must say I have been excited for this movie now for a while since it’s been billed as an obvious throwback to the action movies of the 80’s. Think Cobra, Commando, Deathwish, Raw Deal and Die Hard. Back in a time where there was no CG, when there were real planes flying on the screen, real explosions and not a bunch of rubbery looking CG  characters on the screen doing back flips and cartwheels as seen in the ultra lame G.I. Joe movie and countless other loads of steaming shit. This is an actual great accomplishment from Sly whether you love the guy or hate him, he seems to know what’s been missing in action movies today. C’mon did you see the last Rambo movie? It was raw and realistic (ok so maybe not that realistic) but you get the idea. Sure Sly looks like he’s had some plastic surgery, been dying his hair and been pumped up on weird ass growth hormones but still the guys is bringing back what has been missing from the modern action movie: unrealistic realism! check it for yourself right here and remember he brought back Dolph Lungren to the big screen and tried to court an unwilling Van Damme to appear in this flick-how cool is that? The Expendables is gonna bring it all back-old school style!

Ok well not too sure about the “Nickleback” sounding song in the trailer but hopefully this will live up to the hype…

No Arnold In Predators…..

Well the news has now officially come out that Arnold Schwarzengger will not be appearing afterall in the upcoming Predators film. It’s too bad after all the hype that was made about him reprising his role as Dutch that it seems that he was just too busy once again being Governor of California. Dammit Arnold you need to get your priorities straight! We’re talking about the Predator here!

For some reason you were able to make a cameo in “Around the World in 80 Days” though!!! What’s up with that?? Why the hell did you do that? How about this, just resign as governor already and start making some damn movies again! I thought you were supposed to make King Conan too? Now instead we’ve got a remake with some dude with dreadlocks that weighs like a 160 pounds!

Well at the very least we get to see him in The Expendables. However it’s been seen that Arnie has really let himself go in his older age, I guess unlike Sly Stallone not everyone is getting plastic surgery and taking growth hormones. I have also heard that Arnold may run for the Senate this year?! Bad bad move Arnold you need to postpone your politcal career and get in on these cameos dammit….