Category: Epic Battles
Movie Review: ‘Don’t Breathe’ Will Take Your Breath Far Away !
This year has been a good one for hyper crazy thrillers that kick your ass all over the theater- seeing two movies so far that successfully beat the tar out of the audience. The first was the incredible ‘Green Room’ and second being ‘Don’t Breathe’ the new movie from Fede “Evil Dead” Alvarez. Let me tell ya his new movie released this last weekend is a nonstop nail biter! It lives up to the hype. It’s got the grimy goods and then some and you’re not likely to find anyone able to dose off during this crazy ass thriller.
The story is simple, set in the desolate, barren areas of Detroit Michigan, three young burglars plan to rob a down on his luck blind man who’s recently gotten a six figure payment for the death of his daughter. As you might guess things don’t go quite as planned because by now everyone knows blind people are all total badasses. I guess that’s the way it goes down in the movies anyway right? Well this particular blind guy should face off with Daredevil sometime cuz he’d likely give him a serious ass whoopin!
I really don’t want to give away much of the plot as it is full of some interesting twists and turns. What I will say is Alvarez pulls no punches here, much like his ‘Evil Dead’ reboot this one rarely gives you a chance to breathe, only this one to it’s advantage has a much more likable cast. It’s a dark and gritty tale that really excels because of it’s completely convincing actors and incredible set piece. Yeah, the blind man’s old decaying home is a perplexing dark labyrinth of nooks and crannies with plenty of surprises tucked away. You’ll never feel more frustrated about trying find an exit out as this one unfolds. This movie’s got one helluva “final girl” too played by Jane Levy, she’s definitely got the chops!
The “villain” is played with amazing ferocity by Stephen Lang who’s hulking presence gives him an almost superhuman quality. It’s strange too how this movie turns the concept of facing off with a blind person into an incredibly menacing experience. You’d think the opposite but here the fact that he IS blind is one of the most terrifying things about the whole experience. Never has sneaking around been more nerve wracking! This is easily one of the most intense movie theater experiences I’ve had in quite some time.
I highly recommend this one for people who like being on the very edge of their seats with a racing heart for 90 minutes. For those who can’t hack it this one definitely won’t give you the warm fuzzies. The movie isn’t really full of crazy gore or anything like that but it’s a tightly packed mega tense cat and mouse game unlike anything you’ve probably seen before. It’s really one giant epic battle. I’d also like to ad that this ones likely going to go down in history for making you never look at turkey baster the same. That I promise – check this out if you’re feeling like a challenge!
HarmonQuest: Real Life Animated Dungeons & Dragons Sessions?!
This rad series called HamonQuest is fucking awesome. It takes a real life D&D game and puts it into an animated adventure as it’s happening! What a brilliant idea, I wish I would have thought of this. I always imagine what our games of D&D might look like if we could see them on screen with all of the ridiculous scenarios and decision making that ends up going on.
I always as a DM plan for a serious game but then when you get the actual group together and people begin smoking weed, drinking or being caught not paying attention you often times get a totally different storyline than what you may have originally planned for. Ultimate rpg buffoon-ery to the max. That’s fine by me too, I totally dig the unpredictable nature of a D&D session. Well HarmonQuest puts that grand idea into perspective in an incredibly entertaining way. Check this shit out!
Check out the whole series on youtube and get ready to laugh your ass off!
Dreamscape & Elm Street’s Shared Movie Universe?!
Ok so check this out, here’s two of my favorite movie covers /posters for two of the coolest 80’s movies ever! Dreamscape and A Nightmare on Elm Street, now I know that probably everyone is very familiar with the artwork of both of these BUT I found out recently something when I was trying to figure out if these two movies shared the same cover artist. They do not but they share something else quite sinister I found out. It turns out that the artwork of a Nightmare on Elm Street features a familiar face from the Dreamscape movie universe- OR perhaps it’s the other way around?! If you look closely first at the Dreamscape art done by Drew Struzan take note of the snake creature above the title, who makes several appearances in the movie:
Ok now let’s take a look at the equally incredible artwork by Matthew Peak who did the artwork first five Elm Street flicks. Look closely above the blade of the pinky finger on the right, do you see it? It’s the snake creature from Dreamscape…..
Here’s it blown up a bit…
Both of these movies came out in 1984 and as I did more research on it it was indeed added by Matthew Peak as an homage and this could be proof that maybe just maybe Dreamscape and A Nightmare on Elmstreet are shared universes- Now if this took place today I’m certain you’d likely see Dennis Quaid in an Elm Street sequel where enters the dreams of Freddy’s victims and takes on Mr. Krueger himself! Damn what a missed opportunity-how awesome would that have been?!!!
Lucid Dreaming: The Secret to Having Superhuman Powers Every Night!
You wanna have superhuman strength? You wanna fly high above buildings? You wanna have the indestructible claws of Wolverine? Well I’m gonna let you in on a little secret-you CAN have superhuman powers every night with a little commitment and perseverance. Now of course there is a slight catch, you’ve got to get serious about your dreams! But not just any old regular dream, learn to ‘Lucid Dream‘ every night. I’ve spent some of my nights transforming into The Incredible Hulk and smashing up whole cities, I’ve flown high in the sky with birds like Superman and I’ve also popped those adamantium claws Wolverine made famous from my knuckles. It was unbelievable, but it’s all true and I chose to do it all myself while fully conscious!
First though let me explain, ever since I was in my late teens I began to have lucid dreams and in the past year began to get more serious about it all. This here is the key to all this madness. So to anyone out there who doesn’t know what a lucid dream is let me give you a proper definition,
“A lucid dream is any dream during which the dreamer becomes aware that they are dreaming. During lucid dreaming, the dreamer may be able to exert some degree of control over the dream, dream characters, narrative, and environment.”
Chances are you may have already had dreams like this in the past and didn’t quite realize it was something special or maybe you’ve never even realized this was possible? Remember ‘Dreamscape’ with Dennis Quaid? Or ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors’? Well it’s just like that except it’s easy to kick Freddy’s ass in a real lucid dream. And truth be told anyone can be a lucid dreamer all it takes is a little practice and focus. Also keep in mind a vivid dream is not a lucid dream. But a lucid dream is a vivid dream. Let me be clear here, once you experience your first real lucid dream you’re likely to never really be the same again.
Even more so, recently I’ve begun to focus on lucid dreaming a bit every day of my life. I’ve now begun to be able to control my dreams, create dream characters and really do anything that my mind can dream up quite often. Some of these lucid dreams are just as real as anything you can experience in the waking world, it all really depends on how seriously you want to delve into it. One thing I can guarantee is that it’s most definitely worth the effort. In many ways it might change the way you see life and reality altogether. Continue reading
Comic Book Cover of the Week: Adventure the Dungeons with Peter Hsu!
Back in 1986 a cool little series came out from Aricel / Adventure Comics for those D&D nerds called The Adventurers! It was a great comic book jam packed with swords, sorcery, monsters galore and yeah…ninjas. My brother collected this series and though I was a Marvel & DC kid at the time I’d often sneak his much more daring and graphic indie comics any chance he’d leave the house. It was interesting as a kid learning that there indeed was more out there than the “big two”. This rad cover is from the first issue of The Adventurers by Peter Hsu and make no mistake each issue had incredible painted covers. I’m going to have to dig these out again cuz I’m feeling the need for some serious adventures lately!
Battle of the Insults: Skeletor vs. Donald Trump vs. Cobra Commander!!
When it comes to insulting & ridiculing people no one can do it better than Republican frontrunner Donald Trump and Masters of the Universe’s own ultimate asshole Skeletor!
Both are highly amusing yet incredibly idiotic, pop culture villains who will take any given chance to hurl an insult at their naysayers! So let’s pit these two jackasses against each other in a battle of insults to see just who’s got the most ridiculous cheap shots. Both of these guys have a lot in common in especially in the way they take pride in ridiculing anyone and everyone who gets in their way!
Check this out as first up we have Skeletor!
…..and of course Mr. Big Mouth himself The Donald!!
This is just Part 1 so if you want some more Trump at his finest check out part two!
Oh and I think Cobra Commander could join these two for the fun as well! If only Trump could pick one of these guys as his running mate now that’d be entertainment!!
Kick Don Bluth in the Butt and Kickstart The DRAGON’S LAIR Movie!!!
Yes! It’s such a pleasure to do a blog post that I really am totally hyped about these days! This morning I got wind of the brand spankin’ new Kickstarter page for Dragon’s Lair: The Movie and this is something I’ve always wanted to see since the 1980’s.
First let me state that Don Bluth was responsible for my favorite animated movie of all time, The Secret of Nimh, a movie from 1982 that still easily holds up today against the mass produced CG animated movies which have flooded the market. If you’ve never seen it you’re missing out big time. Anyway a year later in 1983 we got quite a surprise in the Arcades, when Dragon’s Lair was released-it was the first hand drawn animated video on the scene and it was a true wonder to behold. Yes the 1980’s were a wonderful era.
I know many people these days don’t even remember what a video game really arcade is, but back in the 80’s it was the place to be. We’d head off to the mall on a saturday afternoon and spend hours there playing video games and then maybe catch a movie afterwords. Ahh, yes, those were the days. I would spend hours watching my brother play Dragon’s Lair and besides it being a very difficult game it was, for me, just fun to watch the incredibly inventive action sequences & adventure unfold before my very eyes. Dragon’s Lair was total eye candy, I was never very good at it myself but I loved it.
So here we are in 2015 and (the now retired from animation) Don Bluth is being challenged by fans to make Dragon’s Lair into an old school style animated feature film via Kickstarter!! The good news is that Don Has officially accepted the invitation. Bluth started out working as an animator with Disney in 1971 having films like Robin Hood & The Rescuers under his belt, he later left and started his own animation company.
So fans we all need to support this venture, get a full on Don Bluth revival going on here, How amazing would it be to see a classic animated Dragon’s Lair feature movie? Who knows maybe if this happens we could get him to do a ‘Space Ace’ movie!!!
I’ve really been missing those classic hand drawn animated feature films, they had so much damn character, I think the world just might be a little better place if we could get this one made, check out the Kickstarter Page right HERE-let’s head into the Dragon’s Lair again!!
Pulse Pounders: Lost Sequels To Charles Band’s Classic Horror Flicks!
I know there’s a select group of people who probably actually care about the films of Charles Band, but to me he’s a legendary dude in the scheme of cheezy horror flicks of the 80’s! So I’m thrilled myself, just to find out about this lost movie called “Pulse Pounders” which was filmed way back in 1987 and has never really seen the light of day! This flick is an anthology, consisting of three tales of “terror” one being an adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s The Evil Clergyman starring Jeffrey Combs, the next being a sequel to the movie “Trancers” and the last being a sequel to one of my favorite ridiculously awesome movies of the 80’s The Dungeonmaster which stars Richard Moll & W.A.S.P…….yeah the metal band!
Now the first two segments were actually already released, the Lovecraft tale was released on dvd in 2012 (I have not seen it yet) and the Trancers one was released in 2013. However the segment I’m most excited for has yet to see the light of day, perhaps saving the best for last?
Anyway if you have not seen The Dungeonmaster I highly recommend hunting that down and watching it with plenty of booze and a good group of friends. It’s the perfect party flick. Don’t believe me check this out:
So the movie is planned to be released in it’s entirety on the Full Moon Streaming site, as far as I know it hasn’t been featured there yet but this news which may be old news to some of you has got me quite excited! It’s a rare treat when you find out that a movie that’s been shelved for over two decades gets a real release. In this case a movie I never even knew existed. Supposedly the company set to release the movie folded back in the late 80’s. So hopefully this will be worth the wait!
Terminator: Genisys is Just Plain F#@kin’ Stupid A$$ Sh#t!
Oh man, oh man, I had my serious, serious doubts about Terminator: Genisys for quite sometime but some how magically at the last moment, while I watched the previews last night before the movie started, I wiped the slate completely clean and got myself fuckin’ pumped up for a new Terminator flick with Arnold back in the saddle! I mean that’s like a wet dream come true on paper for a nerdy nostalgic dude who grew up on shit like Predator, Commando & Running Man back in the ‘o so sweet 80’s!!!
But even I will be the first to admit that having a near seventy year old Arnold back as the T-800 was worrying the shit out of me. I mean how could they possibly think that would work in 2015?! To me it just seemed ridiculously stupid and nostalgia for nostalgia’s sake. But to be honest Arnold was the ONLY thing about the movie that kept me from dozing off into a deep slumber at the 10 o’clock showing last night! I’m gonna be honest with all you Terminator fans out there this movie is just one huge ass annoying stupid mess that just never needed to be made. Ever.
Hell the last Terminator movie shouldn’t have been made, but somehow we still get this thrown on our lap. I’ve no doubt this flick is gonna be a HUGE box office bomb. It seems Arnold just can’t seem to pull in the crowds like he used to. Arnold however is seriously NOT the problem here. What we got is a giant stupid-ass time travel cluster fuck of a flick that’s a complete waste of time that doesn’t make a lick of sense. You don’t even want to attempt try and figure out this dumb ass fucking stupid turd of a flick.
Yeah folks, it seems they just ran out of anything resembling good ideas here, and it took three shitty Terminator movies to come to this realization. Add in the fact that we’ve got way too many different actors playing John Connor at this point who’re dancing around a lone outdated T-800 who just keeps making random appearances in these movies and a Kyle Reese who’s nothing close to being as awesome as Michael Beihn’s classic character was. Nope we’ve got a generic soulless version of Reese and John Connor here AGAIN, with Sarah Connor not being too much better, thrown into a confusing, overblown plot that tries it’s damnedest to shoe horn Arnold back into flick by any means necessary. None of these actors have any chemistry together.
I think it’d be fun to actually sit down and make a list of reasons why this movie’s plot is the most lazy pile of horse shit Hollywood has come up with in decades. You can defuse most of it’s major ideas in just a few seconds after they’re introduced. I actually think Arnold really could have been the aging T-800 cyborg with finesse instead of a lame inside joke the entire movie. It could have somehow all made sense if someone just took a second look at the wretched script. I always imagined an older Arnold playing the man who designed the T-800 in his own image somehow being incorporated into an intelligent science fiction flick with all the incredible action elements & charm of the first two movies.
It also leads me to the age old question how the hell is Kyle Reese John Connor’s father in the first place? Spoiler ALERT: Why the hell doesn’t this movie’s Kyle Reese question how the hell this is even possible when he finds out?! Seriously If I was Kyle in this movie I would have said “I call major BULLSHIT everyone, give me a damn DNA test and prove it or I’m outta here”!!!
Lastly without spoiling too much, the major antagonist in this movie was clearly a terrible attempt at a twist, and made it clear they’ve officially run out of anything remotely interesting regarding the franchise. How many times are people being sent back in time here before they just throw up their hands and give this shit up? So final words skip this flick, it will make you angry & confused. But it’s just barely worth checking out if you want to see Arnold one last time giving it his all, as it turns out he’s the only thing remotely interesting in the entire movie….
Universal Dork 