Category: childhood nostalgia
The Expendables 3 Wish List!
So everyone is making their “Expendables 3” wish list in hopes that the third installment will be even bigger, louder and more ridiculous than the first two. So naturally Universal Dork has got to chime in with a little wish list as well! There are already rumors about Nicholas Cage (whoopdeedoo…) joining the cast and Harrison Ford & Clint Eastwood being approached. Now that’s all fine and dandy, but for some reason Ford and Eastwood just don’t strike me as the type of actors to jump into a huge ensemble cast. Sure Danny Trejo, Carl Weathers and Kurt Russel would all be great and I know they top the majority of of the lists out there so I am am choosing a few that may have been forgotten but would be equally as awesome as any mentioned. So here’s seven actors I think should get back into the gym and start training for numereo tres!
1. Jesse Ventura: Jesse “The Body” Ventura is one of my favorite people in the world. I loved the guy as a kid and today I love him for his political views. It’s been rumored that he may run for president in 2016 and if so he’ll definitely get my vote, so in the meantime I think Jesse needs to get his ass back into making movies, at least for this one.
He starred alongside Arnold in Predator where his iconic line “I ain’t got time to bleed” was immortalized and again in The Running Man. He later appeared in Demolition Man with Sly so why the hell not get Ventura back to kick some ass in the next installment-he could make a great villain and when he’s finally killed in the finale Arnold could tell him “You’ve got time…….to bleed!”. Hell I should write Arnold’s future one liners!
2. Bolo Yeung: This guy was rumored to be in the second film as a major villain, when I heard that I thought it was a genius idea but somehow it remained purely a rumor. Well if there has ever been an iconic action villain it’s him!
Know for his gigantic pecs and his killer moves Bolo has faced off against the likes of Bruce Lee and Van Damme for cryin’ out loud! This time let’s have him and Van Damme on the same team! Bolo still has the moves & it’s time to give him one last hurrah as the series best villain yet!
3. Grace Jones: Yeah the film needs some female presence and Grace Jones is one of the wildest women on the planet!
She’s like seven feet tall, starred with Arnie in Conan the Destroyer, 007: A View to a Kill and could easily play a part of the Good Guys or villains in the flick. Yeah she’s that much of a bad ass-she could go toe to toe with Sly and it’d be believable. It’s time for the film to feature some ladies and she’d be perfect!
4. Mr T: Seriously Mr. T!! He made my list for the second film but from what I’ve heard T won’t do any violent movies anymore. But he does kick ass for…Snickers?
Well it’s time for him to get back on board with what he does best-kicking peoples asses to the moon and back! Part of The A-Team, Clubber Lang in Rocky III, Partners to Hulk Hogan in the WWF, Mr. T needs to get his head out of his ass and fast because his resume has got The Expendables 3 written all over it. Imagine the fans reaction to Mr. T? It’d be insane…
5. Iko Uwais: Yeah I see the problem we’ve got too many old ass dudes running around doing the ass kicking. I get that. That’s why you grab the best up and coming action stars before they hit it huge here in the USA! If you don’t know who this guy is then you are in for a treat because The Raid: Redemption makes The Expendables look like Kindergarten Cop!
Seriously Iko kicks soooo much butt it’s almost incomprehensible! Even his first movie Merantu was awesome. This Indonesian action star is a master of Silat, a truly incredible form of martial arts. He’d round out some of the old blood in the next movie quite nicely and when in action would raise the bar on the movie’s hand to hand combat sequences.
6. Roddy Piper: Roddy is a no brainer for the third film! He needs to be in the third film. He’s loud, cocky and rowdy! He also starred in “They Live” and “Hell Comes to Frogtown” to name a few.
He’d be perfect as hero or villain and he adds the perfect nostalgia of the 1980’s to the next installment. Plus let’s not forget he also tangled with Mr.T back in the WWF. Hint Hint….Rematch anyone?
7. Ice-T: Yes! Ice was a great action star in the early 1990’s. “New Jack City”, “Ricochet”, Trespass and my personal favorite “Surviving The Game” where he kicked so much ass in that movie alone he deserves to star in the third installment.
Ice has been out of the game for a while, taking more timid roles in recent years. Well Ice it’s time to get back on the saddle again. He’d most likely make a better villain than part of the team but one thing is certain it’s time for Ice to get back on the big screen. So let’s hope he gets on board…
Comic Book Cover of the Week! Don’t Leave Your Kids With Wolverine!
Ahhhh the X-men of the 1980’s…..it just doesn’t get any better than that. Which brings me to my pick for comic book cover of the week X-men #195 drawn by Bill Seinkeiwicz. Just knowing Bill did this cover is a no brainer that’s it’s gonna totally rule. This issue features the X-men trying to save Power Pack the kiddie mutant team from the eighties from the Morlocks, the inner art of the issue is drawn by the fabulous John Romita Jr who was even more spectacular back in the 1985. Don’t worrry though folks, Katie Power wasn’t harmed by Wolvie but it did truly make for one stunning must have comic if not only for the cover alone! I miss those days of the X-men!
Comic Book Cover of the Week! Iron Man Battles BOOZE!
This weeks cover is not a Spider-man battling the Green Goblin high above the city or Superman battling Brainiac to save the world. Nope it’s Iron Man battling a demon in a damn bottle!! BOOZE! I love this cover and this era of Iron Man. Tony Stark was a complete fuck up for a while and I love that they gave him some real life problems to deal with in the eighties. You can see from this cover alone why Robert Downey Jr. was chosen for the role, he goes down in history as the Iron Man much like Christopher Reeves will always be the most perfect Superman of the silver screen. Bob Layton did an amazing job of portraying Tony Stark at his worst!
Walt Simonson What Happened?!
I have done several posts here about how the “old dog” comic artists need to come back and show the young’ins how it’s done. I have ranted about John Byrne, Mike Zeck, Barry Windsor Smith and Walt Simonson. Well I guess I am going to eat my words here as I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. Walt Simonson’s latest artwork well kinda….SUCKS. There I said it. It’s out there on the table. I was initially thrilled to find out that him and Bendis were teaming up for the latest running arc of The Avengers but upon initially seeing the artwork I was stunned at just how terrible his skills have gotten over the years. So what gives? Did he just forget how to draw? Was he rushed and didn’t give a shit? Or am I crazy and maybe he always sucked? Lets take a closer look…
New Simonson 2012 (these are random images I found online, perhaps I can scan some soon that may really get my point across, however if you are reading Avengers currently you know what I mean) :
Walt Simonson 1980’s:
Well Walt all I ask is that you put a little more effort into it dude! It’s clear you got the skills still, maybe you don’t think you need to prove anything? Well I’ll be watching closely for a return to form
Send Your Dirty Laundry to Vulcan?!!
Who would have ever know that the answers to clean clothing here on Earth was solved by Vulcans?!! Don’t believe me? Need proof?! Well take a look here at this old school Cheer commercial from 1969.
Here you will see how one lone housewife had quite an epic experience one day while pondering one of life’s greatest wonders…..Laundry!!
Comic Book Nostalgia: Rock Star Rob Liefeld and his 501’s!
I have mentioned this commercial here from the early 90’s you know back when Rob Liefeld was a comic book rock star! I am not sure how that happened really to this day, it still amazes me but ol’ Liefer has gotten enough negative press! So let’s not dwell on the fact that comic books like Youngblood is seriously unreadable as in doing so will likely make you less intellegent & damage your brain.
Check this out and relive a little comic book nostalgia!
Well folks that’s not all for today I also found this interview with Dennis Miller from back in the day. I think this was pre-Dennis Miller is the biggest Douche in the world era. Now that I am thinking about when exactly did Miller switch from being super funny to an asinine political tool? It happened overnight it seemed, well anyway check this out too more Rock Star Liefeld!
We’ll Miss You MCA….
Who the heck doesn’t love the Beastie Boys?! If you don’t then you probably don’t like having fun plain and simple. We all know that MCA sadly passed yesterday and one thing is for certain he will be missed. Him and the Boys have been putting out great albums to this day. He’s a huge influence in the world of hip hop and a truly amazing MC. Once again we lose another great entertainer far too young…
Happy Easter! Just Another Reason to Showcase This Awesome Cover Again!
Happy Easter! Yeah Easter egg hunts, Cadbury eggs, Easter baskets and of course bunnies! So you know what that means? Yes time to showcase the worst comic book team up EVER yet again! Superman & The Quik Bunny!!! This is NOT the first time this cover has graced the blog and it won’t be the last! I used to own this comic as a kid as you could order it from Quik that yummy powder chocolate milk mix drink! Boy even back in the day I thought this comic book sucked! Nothing cool about it at all just “Quiky” the lame bunny and Superman taking on the Weather Wizard. My question is did Superman really need the help of the mother fucking Quik Bunny to defeat the Weather Wizard?!!
Well you know what? You’d think this Quik Bunny comic book bullshit would stop right there but nope! Apparently Marvel was SO impressed with how bad ass the Quik Bunny was in the DC Superman/Quiky team up one shot that they decided to cross him over into the Marvel Universe! Yeah Marvel then teams him up with Spider-man!
There you have it folks! HAPPY EASTER!!
Michael Bay Destroys Our Childhood Nostalgia & I Don’t Care!!
I really don’t spend too much time thinking about Michael Bay or the fact that he likes to takes everything we loved from our yesteryears as children and teenagers and turns them into a pile of dirty Depends. Really the more I think about it all the more I really really just don’t care anymore! Yeah he had a shot at making an amazing Transformers movie but did you really think anyone in mainstream Hollywood was going to make some totally cool movie version really in this day and age?
Fat chance, every now and again we get something really good these days like The Dark Knight or Hellboy II from Hollywood. But all you fanboys and gals out there need to get over it and move on already! You want to watch a good Transformers movie? Then watch the classic Transformers movie from the 80’s! Are you pissed that Bay has got his hands on the Teenage…or um, sorry excuse me, “Ninja Turtles” franchise? Well then read the original series from the mid 1980’s because you know what? They already fucked up the film when they made it in 1990, I remember back in the day I thought the movie was a watered down shitty ass kiddie version of the dark themes of the original books.
Sure today I accept it and even have a soft spot for the live action cheez of the early 90’s TMNT films complete with Vanilla Ice lets not forget. Sure Bay making a movie will suck big time of course but it’s not like it’s going to be competing against cinematic genius of the original Turtles movies!
So yeah now he’s going to make some Halloween movies. He’s already ruined Freddy, Jason & Leatherface so for him to leave out Mike Myers would be sorta just incomplete in the grand scheme in the shittiest way possible. Besides Rob Zombie already put a lame spin on the franchise when he tried to remake them!
So really at this point who cares? Personally I’m a little tired of Michael Myers anyway I mean the guy doesn’t even speak for cryin’ out loud. People now do you all really need to see him in yet another damn film anyway?! I mean we’ve got like ten films as it is!! Same really goes for Freddy, Jason, Leatherface, Chucky ect ect ect….I if want to see a good film I’ll watch the originals. I just don’t care anymore-I’m tired of schlock that they try to spoon feed us-so you know what? I just am not going even bother anymore. Personally there are a lot more exciting things going on that are new and fresh ideas-Did you all see Attack the Block last year? Or Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil? There are still NEW ideas out there being made that are great. But people don’t expect Hollywood to churn out classics anymore of your favorite childhood nostalgia-watching these major blockbuster movies is like eating shitty junk food and washing it down with some neon colored extreme Gatorade. Sooner or later you’re gonna puke and instead eat something that in the end is better for you and made with a little more care.
So I say Michael Bay, Tim Burton & all you other modern day hacks eat your heart out-go crazy-remake it all! Rob our childhoods! I probably won’t even notice that it’s happening because I have got the classics still and can’t wait for the next new fresh ideas to hit the screens or my dvd player. But the rest of you people stop going and see all this shitty cinema and then complaining! You are all the reason that he keeps on making more shit in the end….
The Original ” A Nightmare Before Christmas” ?!
Wow we were all fooled into thinking “The Nightmare Before Christmas” was so damn original when it came out-but that’s because most people I know never even knew that Rankin / Bass’ “Mad Monster Party” even existed!! I know that I didn’t but it’s a documented fact that Tim Burton did and it was a big influence on his stop motion stuff. I am probably the biggest Rankin / Bass Christmas Special fan of all time – but today I just discovered the Rankin / Bass stop motion animated world is larger than I imagined! That’s quite a good thing!
This movie has got classic monsters like The Werewolf, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, The Hunchback, Invisible Man, Jekyll & Hyde, Mummy, It ( a King Kong knock off), Dracula, Boris Karloff as Frankenstein and his Bride played by Phyllis Diller. It’s also penned by MAD magazine writer Harvey Kurtzman!
So this is on my list of must see dvds. I know that it was released in 2009 on dvd so I assume it’s going to be easy to find and probably right on youtube. It came out in 1967 yet it took me until 2012 to discover-I love it!! It makes me wonder how many other great stop motion movies are out there that I have no clue about?! It will be a fun search….
Universal Dork 