Tagged: tony stark
There Is NO Way The Falcon Needs a Damn Loan from a Normie Bank!!
So I just watched the first episode of The Falcon & The Winter Soldier, I thought it was good, not like mind blowing or anything yet at least, but pretty decent all around. There is however, one damn big ass elephant in the room though. Sam Wilson is BROKE? WTF? I’m just not buying this one at all folks. Ok so you mean to tell me one of the top tier Avengers, who just helped save the enitre planet, has a multi billion dollar, state of the art, robotic winged flying costume & flying robotic weapon companion, good pal of Tony Stark, heir to the mantle of Captain freakin’ America, who gives speeches at The Smithsonian needs a damn loan from a freakin’ normie ass small town bank?!! And can’t get one approved?
Ummm…This is more unbelievable than any Norse god appearing on Earth or whatever wild time travel shit we all witnessed. Seriously is this just bad writing? C’mon, no way Sam doesn’t have major $$$ from government contracts or being part of the damn Avengers initiative!! He’d at this point have to have some severe high stakes gambling addiction to need to go to a local bank and plead with a lowly wise ass bank teller for some damn chump change. His opening mission alone in the show was probably at least letting him pocket a couple million! The guy is one of the most elite super soldiers on the entire planet-He really needs to plead with some damn asinine bank teller?! Um…Ok..what the holy hell is going on here?!
They’d better have a good explanation here in the “wings” because so far that’s got to be one of the most stupid pills to swallow in the entirety of the MCU!! ‘Nuff SAID!!!
Creepy Comic Cover of the Week: Frankenstein’s Monster vs Iron Man?!!
Here’s another installment of ‘Creepy Comic Book Covers’! This week as we grow closer to Halloween it’s only obvious we’d check out a odd battle that took place way back in 1977 between Iron Man and yeah…Frankenstein’s Monster!! As it states on the cover he’s “the most unexpected foe of the year” and I always loved it when Marvel would pit it’s classic superheroes up against classic monsters. This is an excellent cover that features Tony Stark in some deep shit as Frankenstein’s Monster just got done serving him his ass on a platter! What I really love are Frankenstein’s Monster’s weird ass little minions crowding around Iron Man armed with wooden clubs and out for blood! A great halloween flashback from comic book art legends Val Mayerick & Dave Cockrum!
Identity Crisis: Is Marvel Ashamed of Their Classic Characters?
I have been pretty open about the fact that I really don’t read any Marvel Comics anymore these days and part of the problem for me is that they just don’t intrigue me the way they used to even a decade ago. I guess I was inspired to write my thoughts here as a bit of a response to the recent news that now Tony Stark will be retired as Iron Man soon. That’s fine by me but It seems that Marvel just can’t stop changing their classic characters races and genders. Now don’t get me wrong, I do think it’s always been an interesting concept to take a character like Iron Man even back in the 1980’s & have James Rhodes take over the suit or Bucky & The Falcon taking over the mantle of Captain America. However more recently it appears that Marvel is on a mission to change up nearly every classic character’s identity in some way shape or form. I mean the Fucking Hulk has even changed into The Totally Awesome Hulk with Amadeus Cho as the alter ego.
I totally understand that Marvel is trying go a long with current social issues by trying to incorporate more diversity into their comic books. I really do commend them for the effort but after numerous changes to the gender, race and identities of Captain America, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Wolverine and now Iron Man (there are likely more) it’s beginning to seem like Marvel has just run out of good stories for their classics. Or perhaps people indeed are really fucking bored with the traditional Marvel universe? Marvel these days seems more worried about what race and gender their classic character’s are than giving people truly intriguing stories.
I don’t mind a little change up here and there, in fact I totally dig it (heck I loved when Heather Hudson took on the role of Vindicator and lead Alpha Flight-it was a smooth, intelligent totally righteous transition) but it seems that Marvel has largely forgotten that they could simply bring more existing characters into the limelight rather than giving all of their classics a brand new identity? I think it’d be equally exciting to get some some brand new superheroes on the shelf rather than constantly changing the classics. I know times have changed and more people than ever read comics, it’s not just the stereotypical geeky men of yesteryear buying them up, so naturally they may want to rethink their strategy. I get it.
It’s actually become somewhat of a predictable move for Marvel in 2016, deciding to ditch Tony Stark and reboot a new series with a female Iron Man but (a bit odd to still call the book “The Invincible Iron Man” with a female lead, it must be because they don’t want to risk losing any money ditching the name?). I don’t think it’s really that odd of an idea for a woman to design her own Iron Man armor and start kicking ass. Though it seems like Marvel might trying a tad too hard to be relevant in 2016. We all know controversy does sell quite well…
For me there has always been a lot of pleasure in picking up a comic book and reading stories that take me away from our daily routines, media trends, political ideals, online debates and reality in general. I want as much diversity in comics as possible but it’s not feeling real genuine to me these days from the big Marvel cash machine doing anything it can to make a quick buck. I’ve heard as well the debates now heating up about the race and gender of the writers and that they’ve got to match the characters of the comic book they are writing…At some point I think all of this becomes a bit of a drag.
We’re talking about characters that were intended for kids that now have become somewhat of hot button for everyone and their mother & father to get all up in arms about. The landscape of comic books has changed quite a bit over the years and at least Marvel’s approach feels like they’re desperately trying to fit in. Perhaps it’s true people are tired of the old gang of Tony Starks and Bruce Banners. Perhaps their story has already been told and feels tired but I’m hoping Marvel will at some point settle on “who’s who” and let us all just get on with some incredible superhero stories. What do you think? Are you bored with the classic characters? Is Marvel setting bold new trends? Let me know what you think!
Cinematic Captain America: The Greatest American……..Virgin?!
I’ve been thinking about this since I saw Captain America: The Winter Soldier in theaters, it’s like a big elephant in the room at this point! We just have to address this, the movie Captain America is most definitely still a gosh darn virgin!! Am I wrong?! Nope! Movie Cap was born in 1918 so technically he’s a 96 year old virgin-It’s been three movies that this Cap portrayed by Chris Evans has been in, one being The Avengers and thus far Cap, though quite popular with the ladies since he got his muscles, has gotten ZERO action, aside from a few random smooches! Daaang!
So I think a great plot point of the next Captain America movie must be him finally losing his damn virginity already! I could see this being an incredibly funny moment being discussed by him and his fellow Avengers at a bar over a few beers and I can already imagine a ton of jokes involving Tony Stark, Banner and Thor about this. Now though the bigger question is who’s going to be his first?! Let’s face it Cap is quite the goody two shoes, so he may benefit from a more edgy lady like The Black Widow, or could go old school with Agent Carter (well that might be a bit weird), or maybe he’ll hook up with that SHIELD agent he was talking about?
The Avengers are in serious need of some options for the guy, Black Widow is hot and all but let’s face it she’d tear this momma’s boy’s heart to shreds! Or maybe Cap hasn’t come out of the closet yet?! Maybe he and Bucky will hook up?!! Either way it’s been too many decades for the guy, he’s gotta be feeling some serious sexual frustration at this point with all that super soldier serum pumping him up too, whatever the case he better make sure the big moment is worth the wait….
“Uggh…I can’t focus on a word Fury is saying with this raging boner I’ve had since we made out in that mall earlier!!”
Iron Man 3: Why The Movie Mandarin is the Most Chilling Villain of Recent Cinema
I just saw Iron Man 3 last night and I loved it! I would go as far to say that it’s as good as or better than the first movie. I’m quite certain you don’t need a full report from me about what I loved about the film, as there’s more than enough online about the movie that could end up being the highest grossing film of all time. Instead I would like to address something that kinda floored me about the film. That being number one, The Mandarin. So if you haven’t seen the movie, STOP right here.
Major spoilers ahead!
I was completely taken by surprise with the film’s big twist. The Mandarin was not The Mandarin at all. Instead it was shockingly revealed he was a bumbling drunken actor that was hired to play the part of the worlds most hated and feared terrorist. This was an incredible twist which immediately had me thinking. What was Hollywood trying to tell us? Was Shane Black letting us in on the big secret? For years I have had my doubts about the events surrounding 9/11. I wouldn’t say I am a conspiracy theorist but I would say I do believe a conspiracy was and still is afoot regarding that tragic day in American history. One thing which I’ve always been skeptical about was Osama Bin Laden.
Everything about the man and his relation to the USA in the past, his family relations to our Gov’t and his “Death” a couple years back. I always felt something was off with the official story of his demise. There are so many interesting theories about the man, mainly that he died in 2001 of kidney failure. This also combined with strange inconsistencies in his recorded messages over the years have lead many people wonder if Bin Laden was really an evil mastermind in a cave in Afganistan. You add the fact that there is absolutely zero proof he was actually killed by Navy Seal Team Six. No body. No pictures. No video of the raid. Nothing. not even one solid story of “what went down” at “the raid”. Just the official word from Obama that it happened. The most dangerous enemy of the United States would have been worth so much more alive if he was who they claimed he was yet we’re supposed to believe we just killed him with no questioning? The guy was never even indicted for 9/11. So Who really was Bin laden?! Was he a manufactured comic book style villain? The ultimate “evil doer”? or was he merely a man just like The Mandarin?
The Iron Man 3 Mandarin was clearly based on Osama Bin Laden and to me the reveal felt like a message to the people that mirrors perhaps our own reality. Governments all thru history use their own propaganda to push forward their agendas. Some may even manufacture real life “villains” for the public to hate & fear. Iron Man 3 gave a some food for thought to the mainstream. Revealing that many times villains can be made on a small sound stage, that governments and corporations can have a hand in orchestrating events to move along agendas and keep the public scared. Even though we didn’t get the legendary evil Mandarin from the pages of the comic books we got a Mandarin who’s far, far more chilling than any super villain. We got a glimpse into our own possible reality here in the real world….
Here’s an excellent excerpt from the BBC’s “The Power of Nightmares” perhaps Shane Black was a fan?
The Top 10 Superheroes You Wanna Party With!
It’s now the new year YAY! 2015. Everyone has now felt the heavy hangover that comes along with New Years once again. Everyone attended parties and got wild and crazy! So lately I’ve been thinking about my favorite superheroes and if I were throw a party, just which of them I’d invite. It’s an interesting idea figuring out who’d get an invitation and as much as I love The Incredible Hulk he’s the last guy you want at the party. First off Banner would be a total bore, that is unless he got pissed off, then you’d have real trouble on your hands! Plus imagine The Hulk wasted, it’d be nearly impossible to have a conversation with his already limited vocabulary! People like Captain America and Superman can stay home too, drink milk and nibble on cookies because the last thing you need at a party are a coupla’ goody two-shoes!
So just who the hell are the best of the best to party down with? Well use my guide next year and make sure these superhumans are on the A-list! They’re certain to provide plenty of entertainment to any party! So let’s get started!
Number 10. Iron Man
Who the hell doesn’t want a rich playboy at their party? Hell, Tony Stark is one of the most famous alcoholics in comic book history! He also could fund the entire thing himself for you, and bring al of his hot ladyfriends along with him to really liven things up. The only problem could be that Tony may not know when to quit and could end up lingering at your house far into the afternoon of the next day. You’d have to be careful because he’d most likely be the guy who’d have you back partying in the A.M. leaving you with a heavy week long hangover to recover from. Bottom line Stark just don’t know when to quit!
Also just make sure he’s not depressed, he’s known to be quite an annoying drunk when he’s down and out. Invite with caution!
Number 9. The Sandman
What? You didn’t know ol’ Sandy was a party animal? You betcha, though he’s a bit of a rogue he’s a great guy to invite to the party! He’ll come equipped with a bunch of interesting stories and he’s always willing to bring the beer! Little known fact the Sandman is a drinking bud of Ben Grimm and has even visited Grimm in the hospital….with a bunch of beer! Sandman is a good guy to know but a bit of a wild card, he’ll be a lot of fun but you may have to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t steal your cash from outta your wallet while you’re taking a leak!
Number 8. The Badger
Yep this guy will most definitely make your party interesting and he’s from my home state of Wisconsin to boot. Badger is quite an interesting character who just so happens to love partying! Being from the land of cheese he’s quite able and willing to down as much beer as you can put in front of him but he also has multiple personalities, lives with a Wizard named “Ham” and has an odd habit of calling everyone “Larry”. He also can speak to animals so if you have any pets you can be rest assured that they’ll have a great time as well! He’s probably the only superhero who’s played tug a war with Spuds MacKenzie for a beer. The only problem is he’s completely bat shit crazy-wait is that a problem?
Number 7. She-Hulk
Hell yeah we need some female energy at the party for sure and why the heck shouldn’t it be She-Hulk? She’s super funny, a total babe and incredibly flirtatious! You know she’s gonna show up to the party dressed to impress too!
Plus she can drink any party bro under the table but watch out cuz she’s been known to hit on guys pretty hard too after drinking a bit too much, just check out how she threw herself on The Thing! Dang this would not fly in 2018!
Did ‘INDESTRUCTIBLE HULK #1’ Satisfy My Gamma Cravings?
There’s a lot of hype surrounding Marvel NOW! titles that we are finally seeing hit the shelves. Being a big fan of The Incredible Hulk
I was curious about this new title, as honestly it’s been quite a while since I have read a new Hulk comic I really dug. So here we have it today, hot off the presses, Indestructible Hulk #1!
So first I have to admit, I am not a fan of Leinil Yu’s art. So naturally knowing he was illustrating the book wasn’t exactly an exciting thing for me. However, it’s The Hulk we speak of here so I decided to let go of any preconceived notions I may have had about disliking the art. I have to say though, I wasn’t ecstatic about what I saw, I will admit the artwork was at the very least sufficient. What I really mean is that I can live with it. So onto the story Continue reading
Comic Book Cover of the Week! Iron Man Battles BOOZE!
This weeks cover is not a Spider-man battling the Green Goblin high above the city or Superman battling Brainiac to save the world. Nope it’s Iron Man battling a demon in a damn bottle!! BOOZE! I love this cover and this era of Iron Man. Tony Stark was a complete fuck up for a while and I love that they gave him some real life problems to deal with in the eighties. You can see from this cover alone why Robert Downey Jr. was chosen for the role, he goes down in history as the Iron Man much like Christopher Reeves will always be the most perfect Superman of the silver screen. Bob Layton did an amazing job of portraying Tony Stark at his worst!
Classic Iron Man’s Still the best….
I just wanted to take a second out to say that the classic red and gold Iron Man still to this days blows the armor off of the new slick movie and comic book versions. I mean he looks like a true super hero here doesn’t he?!
Seriously I have to say I just don’t think this new fancy pants armor is all that cool! I never have-maybe it’s because it looks like he’s going to transform into a Lexus at any given moment?! Anyway I was just looking at some old school comics the other day and I really miss the classic look-if it ain’t broken don’t fix it!!!!
New Cap Trailer Arrives!
Check out this brand new trailer for the upcoming Captain America movie that was released today! So far it’s still looking to me as this one is set to be the best Marvel movie yet! Still however no hint of the Invaders who are rumored to be fighting along side Cap as well-I’ve got my fingers crossed though still. Also no images of Bucky in uniform-they better not flake! Anyway check it out-it’s looking damn good..
Universal Dork 