Who Said New Horror Movies Suck?? Doghouse Delivers the Goods!

I just finished viewing a great horror comedy that was just released this week on dvd for everyone’s Halloween viewing pleasure. ‘Doghouse’ is little a British film that certainly delivers the laughs and gore a’plenty-ala Shaun of the Dead and Severance. The plot is simple, nine middle aged men set off for a weekend of drunken mayhem to a little village in the middle of the woods called ‘Moodley’ where apparently the females outnumber the males four to one. What they arrive to however is a bit more mayhem than they bargained for as it seems this little resting place turns out to be filled with psychotic mutated she-beasts!

 That’s pretty much it folks, if you have short attention span and feel like drinkin’ a few beers this halloween with your fellow fiends you best put this little gem high up on your list of movies to see. Continue reading →

New Walking Dead Tv Spot!

AMC has just released a brand new Tv spot for the new Walking Dead series coming this Halloween today!! Yeah I have hyped the shit out of it here so I’ll just shut up and post it! If you haven’t heard about this show or comic book you must be living in a cave. This makes me even more excited for this show than I was before… 

The Top 10 “Stranded on an Island” Movies!

I find myself thinking a lot about getting stranded on a deserted island quite alot! Perhaps it’s because of my love of the show “Lost” or maybe it’s just because life here in the USA can get a little too stressful! Well either way the dream of being stuck on one sounds quite nice most of the time but in actuality it’d probably drive me just as crazy as city life does in the end. Well here’s my top 10 stranded on an island movies (Check out part two right here!) -some of them make the idea pretty appealing as others turn the idea into a total nightmare.

Even though after watching the worst case scenarios go down I still think it’d be pretty damn fun to try and restart civilization-but it seems in the movies no matter how hard they try someone always ends up fuckin’ up the program. Good or bad these flicks are definitely worth a watch if you’re hoping to get the hell outta’ dodge! Check it out… Continue reading →

Splice Sex Scene Whatta Laugh…

So I just watched Splice last night you all know the movie with Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley finally. I just wanted to take a moment to say that the movie wasn’t that good, it had some shitty ass as usual CG and it had a totally stupid plot twist of Adrien Brody getting it on with the lil’ Monster with the CG legs. I know this is old news but hey, but it WAS just released on dvd & I don’t make it to the theaters much lately as I am trying to save money (hint hint-when am I gonna get some free movie passes or something from doing this site?!).

I just wanted to say that the fact that Broder suddenly wants to fuck the little monster they have been raising was just pretty damn lame-I know, it’s supposed to be super edgy right-cuz it’s a monster and Broder is all hot stuff and is all real kinky cuz it’s a monster! Oh yeah though she’s kinda sexy right? It’s just sooooo damn edgy!!? They did have alot of hot on screen chemistry right-Broder and the monster? NO!!! blah blah blah….what a dumb movie. Sorry folks not much else I can say here-if you wanna get a real shock check out the Masters of Horror episode directed by Dario Argento called “Jenifer” and skip this turd!

World’s Greatest Puppet Themed Music Videos! Part 3!

Ok so here’s a quickie today once again dealing with puppets in music videos! Today we’ll be checking out Supergrass’ “Pumping on Your Stereo” which features some pretty fucked up puppet horseplay! It’s not a half bad song either-but once again adding the whole puppet angle into the mix makes this track rock that much harder! More to come and if you got any good puppet themed vids in mind please send them my way!!!

PLEASE Reboot The League of Extraordinary Gentleman!!

It’s funny but sometimes there are certain movies I actually want to be remake or in this case rebooted. The movie at hand here is The League of Extraordinary Gentleman and if you have seen this steaming pile of shit of a movie from 2003 then you know exactly why I am starting the campaign right here at Universal Dork to get this rebooted and done the right way! So it would seem kinda weird huh since the movie was released a mere seven years ago right? Well think about how fast The Incredible Hulk was rebooted, now Spider-man and the Fantastic Four. So why not The League? Though the movie was pretty well cast Stephen Norrington still managed to totally fuck it up. God damn they even managed to get Sean Connery cast as Quartermain!

Did he ever even read the comic book? If so did he just decide to trash it on purpose with an unmemorable, generic pile of Hollywood bull shit dumbed down for the masses? The answer most likely is YES. It’s really no secret that the movie sucked the big one real hard so what I think is that we need a good director say like Zack Snyder to reboot this thing and make it the movie it should have been. It had, like the book, the potential to be a grand adventure  in the same vein as Indiana Jones.

It also should have retained some of the grit of the original series Continue reading →

The Full TROLL HUNTER Trailer!!

I have been rantin’ a bit about thei new movie called “The Troll Hunter” just from a few brief images and a short trailer which basically showed no trolls. Well now get ready for the full trailer and see just how rad this movie really looks! With a super original premise I have a feeling this movie is going to be one of my favorites this year-check it out!!

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Attack of the Killer Chakas!!

I stumbled upon this movie preview while searching for the trailer for a movie called “Primal” which will be showing soon at the H.P. Lovecraft film festival here in Portland Oregon in October. What I ended up finding was a movie by the same name that looks even better than the one being shown at the festival! Now it seems also that any movie now day that’s got a guy in a furry suit will have to star Lance Henrickson (Abominable, Sasquatch, Sasquatch Mountain)-what gives Lance? Why you so damn obsessed with Bigfoot and Chaka?

 Apparently the movie is now going by the name “The Lost Tribe” and will be released October 19th. From the looks of it it seems that Chaka from Land of the Lost just got seriously pissed off check this out!

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World’s Greatest Puppet Themed Music Videos! Part 2!

Ok so here we are again with some more puppet themed videos!! Hell yeah! So here are a couple more music videos that feature some rad puppets-The first up is Interpol’s “Evil”. As I am not a big fan of the band what I can tell you is that I’m a huge fan of that creepy ass puppet they got in their damn video!! See the band just made themselves totally rad by having a cool puppet in their video-see it’s not that hard to make it I tell you if you just rely on the skills of a puppet and ride it’s coat tails all the way to the top!!! check it:

Ok next up is Weezer’s “Keep Fishin'”. I think we can all kinda agree that Weezer now days just kinda blows and I think Rivers has caught onto that. That’s why he decided to get the mother fucking Muppets into his band’s video! See this a common practice of bands that either aren’t that good or have somehow lost their magic. My simple rule proves true again-add a damn puppet to a music video and suddenly the song rocks ten times harder…